“She saved me,” Rarity said, as if that explained everything.
Applejack nodded, taking a sip of her whiskey. “Okay.”
“What do you mean, ‘okay’?” Rarity demanded, squinting at her friend over her daiquiri.
“I mean I get it.” Applejack finished the shot, calling for another and gesturing for the bartender to get another daiquiri started. “Feel the same about my girls. Like... everythin’ else’s goin’ sideways, but you’ve got that one little spot of happiness that makes all that stuff seem worth it somehow.”
“That’s… that’s it exactly! My career… my best friend… my life... everything’s just wrong!” Rarity finished the dregs of her drink, nodding politely as a fresh one was set before her. “And there she was, my lifeline. A tiny little candle in a world of darkness, but she burns so brightly!”
Applejack fanned Rarity theatrically with her Stetson. “And so now you’re all steamed up, huh? Heh heh, you’re makin’ me jealous!” Applejack dropped the hat back onto her head. “All jokin’ aside, I’d’ve never thought it, but she… well... she sounds perfect for you.”
Rarity choked on her drink, letting out a gasping laugh. “Perfect? Oh, no. Pinkie is anything but, darling. You want to see perfect, look at a wall sometime. Uniform color, seamless, boring. My Pinkie is not perfect; I daresay she’s chaos in pony form!”
Applejack took another sip of whiskey, grimacing as it burned her throat. “Well, I always reckoned she’d sorta be like that, but I mean... but… Well, don’t take this the wrong way or nothin’, but ain’t it a little hard to get along, then?”
Rarity smiled, taking a demure sip of her drink. “There is a quaint term I heard you utter once, and I think it applies here. We ‘get on like a house on fire.’ She’s just so... energetic! I wonder sometimes if I hold her back a little more than I should, but she seems to thrive all the more for being tethered. And I want to do things with her that I never normally take the time to do.” Rarity sighed dreamily. “She makes me want to join in on her antics when I should be telling her ‘no.’ Absolutely incorrigible.”
"Hard to rein her in, eh? Bet she’s got plenty of energy in bed, too," Applejack said, snorting. “She runs on pure sugar, after all.”
"Hmmm? Oh, no, not there,” Rarity replied, and Applejack raised her eyebrows in surprise.
Rarity smiled wistfully. “It’s not that I haven't made some... overtures to that regard. She's a tad innocent when it comes to that sort of 'fun.' Half of me wants to maintain that... the other half is screaming at me to throw her down and ravish her. It has been... trying."
"Tryin'? You wanna know tryin'? I got Twilight on one side, stutterin' red-faced through a set of massage oil instructions while Dash is tearin' through the bedroom ready to tackle any pony with socks on!” Applejack waved a hoof around wildly for emphasis. “It’s tryin’ all right. Tryin’ to herd cats is what it is."
"Very well, I'll grant you our chosen partners present some... difficulties,” Rarity said, laughing lightly at the mental image Applejack just gave her. “Let me tell you a little story, if you’ll indulge me. Our first date—well, first proper date—She was so very excited..."
Pinkie glanced out the window again. She’d been watching the sun slowly dip down below the treeline in the Everfree Forest, and now it had finally disappeared. Oh, I hope Rarity’s okay. I didn’t think this would take so long. At least she’s got those snackwiches if she gets too hungry. Stretching her neck, she tried to catch a glance of her friend.
Fluttershy had disappeared into the kitchen more than an hour ago. Every time Pinkie tried to step in and help, Fluttershy shooed her back onto the couch. Either this was going to be the fanciest meal she’d had in years, or her friend was still trying to avoid having this conversation. So she’d been sitting in Fluttershy’s living room, leafing through several wildlife magazines and listening to the pegasus hum in the other room. “Fluttershy?” she finally called out.
The humming from the kitchen grew louder, taking on an insistent edge.
Pinkie slipped off the couch and crept to the kitchen. Poking her head inside, she could just see the end of a pink tail protruding from the pantry. The humming ratcheted up a few octaves, becoming shrill.
Tiptoeing in, Pinkie quickly scanned the room: Nothing on the stove. No flatware on the table. No vegetables on the cutting board. Pinkie’s brow furrowed, and she peeked into the pantry. Inside, Fluttershy stood, swaying back and forth ever so slightly as she stared at a large collection of canned goods. Though nearly still, the pegasus quivered with nervous energy.
Pinkie tapped her friend on the shoulder. “Hey, what gives? I thought you were cooking dinner, but you’re just in here singing for these cans.”
Fluttershy squeaked and leapt into the air, nearly flying into the ceiling. “Oh! Oh, Pinkie! I-I didn’t hear you.”
“Well, it’s no wonder!” Pinkie replied, waving her hoof toward the neat rows of cans. “You’ve got to be super loud when you give a can concert. I sing in the Cake’s pantry all the time, but you know, I don’t think those cans appreciate it.” Pinkie cupped her hoof around her mouth and whispered loudly. “Don’t tell them I told you, but I think they all have tin ears.”
Fluttershy drifted back down to the ground, her hoof covering her racing heart. “Can concert?”
Pinkie cocked her head to the side. “Yeah, you know…” She swayed just as Fluttershy had done, humming that dressmaking song that Rarity loved to sing when she was being creative. “Like that!”
“Was… was I doing that?”
Pinkie frowned. “Yeah! Come on, Fluttershy! How are you gonna wow these cans if you’re not even paying attention? They’re not going to ask for an encore if you don’t take it seriously, and I don’t want to see you get canned!”
Fluttershy opened and closed her mouth several times while she tried to figure out how to respond to that. “Uh, well… I guess that’s okay. I’m used to ponies not wanting me around anymore. The cans probably won’t be so bad.”
Sighing, Pinkie sat and laid a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. She frowned when the pegasus flinched. “Shy, that’s silly talk. We all want you here, okay?” she said quietly. “You don’t have to be scared and hide in a pantry, no matter how much the cans want to hear you sing.”
“I-I’m not h-hiding!” Fluttershy replied, her eyes darting toward the open door. She inched back into a corner.
Pinkie fixed the pegasus in place with a penetrating stare. “Shy, when I was eight, I took Regional in the All-Equestria Hide and Seek Tournament. The next year, I lost in the final to Oxen Free, and we’ve traded the title back and forth every year since then.” Edging closer, Pinkie stared directly into Fluttershy’s eyes. “I know hiding when I see it, and you’re hiding.”
Fluttershy dropped her eyes, swallowing hard. “You promised.”
Pinkie’s lower lip trembled. “I know. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to lie to you.”
Fluttershy sat silently for a moment, and then let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, Pinkie. It’s not your fault. Not really. I… I wanted to talk to you about what happened, but—” she took a deep breath “—it… it scared me. Rarity was so angry, and… and I deserved everything that she said to me.” Fluttershy slowly sank to the floor and rested her head on her hooves. “But I thought it would be better when the yelling was over. I thought it would be better when I said I was sorry, but she’s right. I didn’t just make a bad decision. I’m a bad pony. I always make the wrong choices because I’m scared of the right ones.”
Pinkie stomped a hoof, and then reached out to steady a few cans when they rattled across the shelves. “Shy, you’re being ridiculous. and you remember whose job that is, right? We all mess up sometimes. I’m here because I’m the one who caused all of this! It’s my fault, not yours!”
Fluttershy shook her head vigorously. Pinkie watched the muscles around her friend’s clenched jaw twitch.
An uncomfortable silence stretched out between the pair. I can’t get her to listen, Pinkie thought, dropping down beside the pegasus to give her a gentle nuzzle. She’s too… Fluttershy right now. I’ve got to get her to think like a Not Fluttershy.
“Shy, I think maybe you just don’t know Rarity like you think you do.” Pinkie jumped up and snatched a random can from the shelf. “You think Rarity’s mad at you? You should have seen her on our first official date. Boy, was she mad then, but she’s all better now! I’ll make us some soup and tell you all about it!”
“Um… those are peaches.”
Pinkie thrust the can into the air. “Peach Soup it is, then, with a side of...” Pinkie blindly grabbed for a colorful package a few shelves above. She squinted at it as she brought it down. “...Wheat germ?” Pinkie shrugged. “Well, whatever. It’ll be yummy.” Trotting outside, she held the pantry door open for her friend.
Sighing, Fluttershy trudged out of the pantry and sank onto one of the chairs around her small kitchen table. “But she loves you, Pinkie. It’s different.”
Pinkie set a pot on the stove and poured the peaches into it. Eyeing them critically, she added some pepper and stirred it in. “Yeah, but it didn’t start out that way. She was all ‘let’s wait’-y and pull-backy. I told her that I wanted to go out with her and do you know what she said?
Fluttershy shook her head and unconsciously leaned forward. “No, what?”
Pinkie covered her mouth with a hoof and giggled. “She said ‘Well, I’m not saying no.’ Then she kissed me. Then she told me she just wanted to be friends. Friends that kissed a bunch.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “She did?”
Pinkie’s grin widened, and she tipped some cumin into the pot. “Uh-huh. I was all confused. I mean, this was Rarity! She’s, like… perfect! But even I thought that was a funny way to start being somepony’s marefriend.” She turned and gave Fluttershy a wink. “Turns out there was all sorts of stuff about Rarity that I didn’t know. I really thought that I knew everything about her, but she… well, there’s two Rarities. There’s the outside Rarity, like the yummy, sugary outside of a jelly donut, but if you take a bite, you get to see the inside Rarity. I don’t think she shows that a lot. I thought maybe she’d shown you, since you’re superduperclose, but maybe she’s been saving it.” A slow flush crept into Pinkie’s cheeks, and she stirred with renewed vigor. “I think maybe she’s been waiting to be in love.”
Fluttershy smiled briefly before looking away. “Oh, Pinkie. I wish you knew how happy I am for the two of you. I wish I could tell her…”
Pinkie ripped open the top of wheat germ package. “See? There you go again. Fluttershy, Rarity’s not some grouchy ol’ bear—”
Fluttershy sighed. “I know. I could talk to her if she was. I’m good with bears.”
Pinkie ignored that. “She’s just really sensitive. She likes to things to be just so, and when they aren’t, she takes it really hard and doesn’t know what to do at first.” Pinkie poured the wheat germ into a bowl and squinted down at it. Frowning, she added some vanilla. “Let me tell you about our first real date. I thought I had it all planned out just right”. Pinkie chewed her lower lip for a moment. “But, it was—”
“Completely awful?” Fluttershy prompted before slapping a hoof over her mouth. “Oh, Pinkie! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean—”
Pinkie sniggered, flushing again. “No, it kinda was. Well, maybe not all of it. Parts of it were pretty good, really, but I…” Pinkie looked away and rubbed one forehoof against the other. “I’m not so used to being with somepony. Not like that. I really wanted her to like me so we could be more than friends that kissed sometimes.” Pinkie fought to control the quaver that was creeping into her voice. “I thought that if I took Rarity on the most funnerific date that she’d ever been on, that she’d see how crazy I was about her. All I did was make her think I was just plain crazy.”
Pinkie stopped just outside the door to Rarity’s inspiration room and swallowed hard. She usually loved butterflies, but her tummy was too full of them today. Okay, Pinkie. You can do this. She’s your Special Kissing Friend, and she’s going to want to go out with you. Pinkie took a few deep breaths, then pushed the door open and poked her head inside.
Rarity sat hunched over her desk, her quill dipping and weaving its way over a large piece of parchment. Stepping closer, Pinkie’s eyes grew wide. Each line was perfect. Each stroke a masterpiece of grace and elegance. Together, they were a symphony of form, and it made Pinkie want to laugh and sing and dance. But most of all, she wanted to see Rarity in that dress. Pinkie wanted to be near that perfection. It would be like basking in the sun. “Rarity,” she said in a hushed voice. “It’s so beautiful.”
Rarity shook her head, tapping the quill on a blotter as she looked over the design. “It’s not. Not yet. It needs something...” She looked away from the paper, smiling as she realized who had come in. “Oh, hello, love.” She got up, stretching her legs slowly until the tingling sensation left them before walking over to Pinkie and nuzzling her. “You caught me working. Sorry about that. Give me some time and I’ll show you beautiful.” She pecked Pinkie on the cheek, walking back to the desk to continue her design.
Pinkie hesitantly ran her hoof along the design’s sweeping lines. “No, really. That dress is so…” Pinkie twirled her hoof, searching for the word. “So swoopy and swishy and slinky.”
“Well, yes, that was rather the point.” Rarity replied, smiling. She tapped the quill once more, frowning at the design. “I just wish I knew what else it needs...”
“Needs? How could it get any better?” Pinkie wrenched her eyes away from the incredible drawing. “When are you gonna make it? Can I help out?”
Rarity hesitated, trying to find the most diplomatic way to explain why she feared another ‘cinnamon-bun incident.’ “Not for some time yet. Until I finish the design, I can’t really begin. But you may certainly help... provided you do so after washing up first.”
“I’d love to.” Pinkie stared wistfully back down at the design, drinking it in again. Maybe we can have a sewing party! I’d think up a whole bunch of new jokes so we’d all be in stitches! And afterward, you could...” Pinkie caught Rarity’s eye, and then looked away. Her cheeks felt alarmingly warm. “Rarity, um, after it’s done, you know, before anypony gets a chance to buy it, could you wear it… for me?”
Setting the quill down, Rarity turned around in her stool to face Pinkie. “Darling, I’m flattered, but this is not a personal dress; it’s going to be part of a line. Why would you want me to wear it?”
“Because it’s beautiful, and you’re beautiful, and when you put them together, it’s a celebration. Just seeing it would make my day, just like I know this dress is going to make some other mare’s day when she buys it, and she’ll probably make somepony else’s day when she wears it, and then that pony will be so happy that—”
Rarity put a hoof up to Pinkie’s lips. “Fine, love. I’ll model it for you to show it off.” She looked back at the design wistfully. “Well, this will have to wait a while, I suppose. Did you want to go do anything, Pinkie? I’d fancy a little dancing if you’re up for it.”
“Do something? Oh, yeah!” Pinkie rapidly bounced in place. “You wanna go to the Equestria Expo with me tomorrow night?” Pinkie stopped, hanging in midair for a second before sinking slowly down to the floor, her mouth sagging open. “I said it! I-it just came right out!”
“Hmmm, well, I was actually thinking tonight—” Rarity stopped as the importance of Pinkie’s words registered. “Darling... did you just ask me out?”
“I’ve been walking around Ponyville all morning trying to figure out how I was going to ask you to go to the Expo with me. At first, I was just going to be all cool.” Pinkie leaned casually against Rarity’s desk and tried to look bored. “I was going to be all ‘Hey, so there’s this thing if you feel like it,’ but then I couldn’t find my sunglasses. After that, I decided to make a song out of it, but my tuba had dried oatmeal in the valve. Then I asked Golden Harvest and she said that maybe I should take you out for dinner and ask then, but you said you were watching your figure again, and I don’t even know why!” Pinkie leaned back on her haunches and ran her hooves over her belly. “Compared to me, you’re a supermodel. Well, compared to supermodels, you’re a supermodel.”
The fashionista hesitated. It still felt a little soon to be actually going out. She’d just barely gotten used to kissing Pinkie. She was worried about tainting the new relationship with baggage from her unrequited crush, and had avoided calling anything they did a date. But Pinkie was so terribly excited about this, and it might crush her if she said no. “Well, I’m not sure I’ll be free—”
Pinkie fidgeted, her breath quickening. “I ended up in Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen, and I was getting sort of hyperventilatish because I couldn’t decide how to ask and I really wanted to, you know? All these pretty colors were popping up on the edges of my vision when Mrs. Cake just sat right down and told me to just come over here and ask so that’s what I’m doing ’cause I really want to gototheexpowithyouifyouwant—”
“Darling, please take a breath!” Rarity cried out in desperation. While the pink pony dutifully filled her lungs, Rarity thought rapidly. “Um... so what is this thing you want to go to?” This was a big step, one she wasn’t quite sure she was ready for yet. But Pinkie was so very excited...
“Oh, you’ll love it, Rarity! They’ve got stuff from all over Equestria there! It’s really amazing to see all the things from all over the place. Griffons. Crystal ponies. Diamond Dogs. You name it, they’ve got something there and—” Pinkie grabbed Rarity’s head with her hooves. Hauling the unicorn to her, she leaned in until their foreheads were pressed together “—it is so amazing! I just know you’ll have a blast!”
Exhibits of various cultures. That actually does sound pleasant. Maybe it won’t be so bad then.
It wasn’t that she minded spending time with Pinkie, she just wasn’t sure if she was okay with it being a date. Still, a cultural exhibition was not exactly conducive to romance, so maybe this wasn’t a date after all. “I-I see. Well then, how much does it cost—” Rarity said, reaching for her bits pouch.
Pinkie held up a hoof and shook her head. “No, no. It’s my treat. I’ve been saving my bits for six weeks hoping you’d go with me.” Pinkie took Rarity’s hoof in both of hers. “So... do you wanna?”
Oh dear, she wants to pay... That’s rather decisive then. All right, Rarity, it’s go time. Are you dating, or not?
She was still worried, but after looking into Pinkie’s hopeful eyes... there was little she could say other than: “Yes, darling. That sounds wonderful.”
A large, peeling letter Q lay on the ground.
Above it, a billboard-sized sign proclaimed ‘Welcome to The E uestrian Expo: Equestria’s Premiere Family Fun Park!’ Once bright, the sign had faded over time, and every so often, a paint chip flaked off into the wind. Occasionally, the letters would struggle to blink; the last remnants of some enterprising unicorn’s forgotten advertising spell.
The oily, hard-packed dirt beneath Rarity’s hooves shook when a roller coaster car filled with screaming ponies whizzed by. A metal track snaked overhead in a dizzying array of loops and tightly banked turns, and lines of rust stained the pylons. Beyond it, rides and attractions whirled, flinging ponies up into the evening sky or swallowing them into darkened recesses before vomiting them back out, leaving the blemish-scarred youngsters to go staggering around the rest of the park. The shouts of food vendors and souvenir shops added to the maddening cacophony.
All of this framed Pinkie, who bounced beneath the sign. The carnival lights were dancing in her eyes as a grin spread across her face. “So whattaya think, Rarity?” she said, hopping rapidly in place. “Isn’t it a scream? We are going to have the bestest time!”
The scent of the unwashed masses assaulted Rarity’s nostrils, and she fought off a wave of nausea. Pinkie may as well have have taken her to Tartarus, for this was assuredly going to be torturous.
Pinkie took off toward a ride, then skidded to a stop and broke off in the opposite direction. She was four steps away before she switched courses again. “EEEEEE! So many choices! I-I can’t make up my mind!”
Galloping back to Rarity, Pinkie hopped from hoof to hoof. “It’s your first time, right? You should decide, Rarity! What do you wanna go on first? The Blender?” Pinkie pointed to a metal cylinder that was spinning so rapidly that the ponies inside were a homogenous blur. “Or The Stable of Eternal Terror?” Her hoof shifted to a nightmarish barn with evil, jagged windows and a maw-like set of double doors. The whole thing seemed to be leaning forward, ready to pounce on the ponies who trepidatiously approached. “Ooh, ooh! I know! How about Powerdive?” Pinkie motioned to the nearby roller coaster. One of its cars flew around a turn, and several wide-eyed, green-faced ponies covered their mouths. “It’s a griffon coaster, and it’s got this promotion where we all get a shirt if nopony gets sick during the ride.” Pinkie dropped her eyes to her hooves and shook her head. “I still haven’t gotten one…”
“I... I need to sit down,” Rarity said, finally. “Forgive me, but this is just a little overwhelming.” Rarity cast about for anything resembling something civilized, eventually hitting on what looked like an outdoor cafe. “There! We’ll go there... and we’ll... decide what to do.”
She walked towards her salvation, not even checking if Pinkie was following behind. There had to be something they could do at this place that didn’t involve lurching about at high speeds, and she was going to find it. This was distinctly not what she had expected... but perhaps it could be salvaged. Yes, she would find a way to enjoy herself. That’s all there was to it.
Pinkie followed a few steps behind, her brow furrowing. “Sit down? But we just got here. Don’tcha wanna go on something?”
“We will, I promise,” Rarity replied, sitting down heavily. “Just be a dear and fetch me a pamphlet on this... place? I would very much like to know what they have to offer.” While Pinkie ran off on her errand, Rarity thought hard, trying to recall what little she knew about such places. She’d last been taken to one by her parents as a small child. If she wasn’t mistaken there had been rides for foals, the rides for the thrill seekers... but also some rides her parents had been keen to get on. Wasn’t there a—
“Here ya go!” Pinkie said, plopping the paper packet on the table.
“Thank you, darling,” Rarity said, meaning every word. It was important to remember that Pinkie meant well. She had to keep that in mind or go insane. She looked furiously over the list of attractions, eyes gravitating towards the first ride that sounded sane. “Ah! The Tunnel of Love!” That actually had promise! Snuggling together in a private boat, dark tunnel, who could say whose hooves were where—She shook herself. Pinkie wasn’t quite ready for that. But still, kissing and snuggling were permissible. “Oh, and the Gondola!” Yes... again, private booth, the ride gave you a view of the whole park without having to be in the thick of it. It was essentially a slow track ride that traveled all the way around the park, giving you a nice view of the entirety and all the attractions therein. That could work nicely!
“Weeeeeeell, I was kinda hoping we could hit the Tunnel of Love right before we left.” Pinkie’s cheeks darkened and she fanned herself with a hoof. “Um, so that it’d be a good memory for us that way, you know...” Pinkie squirmed and swallowed hard. “But, sure! The Gondola. I guess we can get to the zoomy stuff after that!”
“The Gondola it is, then!” Rarity replied, blushing slightly. So Pinkie has been thinking ahead. How very thoughtful of her.
The startlingly young ride attendant held open the carriage door with an air of disaffected listlessness. “Please watch your step while entering the gondola and keep your hooves inside the ride at all times.”
Pinkie squealed and hopped in, causing the carriage to rock alarmingly. “Look, Rarity! Somepony left half a stick of cotton candy in here! Let me just scrape it off the seat and we can sit down…”
Rarity lifted the offending confection from the seat and deposited it into the nearest trash receptacle. She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a wet towelette, wiping down the seat. “There we are!”
Pinkie stared back at the trash can, her lower lip quivering. “Rarity! That was blueberry flavor…”
“I will buy you two when we disembark. You have no idea where that thing has been,” Rarity replied testily.
“Well, it just seems like a waste of—whoa!”
Pinkie fell onto Rarity as the carriage lurched into motion. Above them, the wheel squealed in protest as the gondola moved up the cable in fits and starts. Swinging in the breeze, the carriage offered a grand view of the park as it ascended.
“Ooh, ooh! Look!” Pinkie said, pointing. “There’s the Bucking Bronco! That’s the first ride that ever made me so dizzy that I couldn’t walk! And there’s the Crystal Heartstopper. The Crystal Empire had that built here to represent their nation. It’s a class triple black diamond water slide!” Curled up on Rarity’s lap, Pinkie threw her hooves around the unicorn’s neck. “Aaah! I can’t believe I’m here again and you’re here with me!” Pinkie snuggled her cheek against Rarity’s. “It’s like the two best things ever just became the bestest thing of all time! I just know we’re going to have a great time!”
“Yes, I’m glad as well, darling,” Rarity replied, looking out the window herself.
The Bucking Bronco indeed. Well, at least I know what to steer clear of. The Crystal Heartstopper looks... bearable. But I would need a poncho. It’s that or ruining my mane-style. And what a dreadful name...
Try as she might, it was doubtful she was going to be able to avoid every ride that looked like trouble, but she could at least minimize the damage. “Any others you enjoy? Something... not quite so lurchy?”
Pinkie gasped, her eyes widening. “Any others I enjoy? Just look at it all!” Pinkie pressed her nose up against the grimy window. “The Diamond Dodgers. The diamond dogs had those built back when I was just a filly. And just on the other side of that is The Whipsaw. That had to be shut down for a while after some ponies threw out their backs. Oh, right. Less lurchy.” Pinkie slid her face along the glass to the other side of the car, leaving a nose-sized clean streak behind her. “Well, there’s the vendor stuff. You wanna check that out?”
“Vendors, you say?”
Pinkie sat again and smiled at Rarity. Her nose was coal-black. “Oh, you know, un-ridey kinds of stuff. Funnel cakes. Face painting. Balloon animals. Cragodile wrestling. Stuff like that.”
Rarity considered, absently cleaning Pinkie’s nose with another wet towelette. She didn’t want the day to be ruined for Pinkie, but at the same time she would not be able to stand more than one of those monstrosities at a time without some downtime between. “How about this, then. You may choose the next ride. Something... a bit easy on me, please. Then we can go and have something to eat, and I will pick something, and so on.”
Pinkie clapped her hooves. “Oh, that sound funnerific!” Leaping forward, she wrapped the unicorn in a hug, and after a moment’s hesitation, she hesitantly kissed Rarity’s cheek. “You have the best ideas.”
“I try, darling,” Rarity said, bracing herself for the worst. “All right then. Where would you like to go?”
The carriage bounced and swayed alarmingly when Pinkie jumped back to her hooves and rushed back to the window. “How ’bout The Whinneypeg Express? It’s got the record for fastest—” Pinkie caught a bit of fidgeting in her peripheral vision. “Oh, maybe not that. It’s kinda lurchy. Then, maybe The Dragon Dropper? It’s a fall ride. Kinda like when you lost your wings in Cloudsdale and—oh, maybe not that either.” Pinkie tapped the glass with a hoof. “Um… Oh, I know! Let’s go on the carousel! It’ll be like your shop! Well, sort of. Less clothes, probably, and if Sweetie Belle’s there, she’s totally gonna get grounded.”
“The carousel? Yes... that sounds lovely.” Although the idea of riding on a pony did seem a bit off. Well, on a wooden pony, she amended, eyes flicking to the wiggling rump attached to the pony staring out of the window. Still, it should be a nice, slow way to start the day. Rarity nodded, gesturing for Pinkie to sit back down beside her. “Well then, let’s enjoy the rest of the ride.”
Pinkie sneaked another kiss in. “I’m already enjoying it!”
Hidden somewhere inside the carousel’s main hub, a calliope wheezed out a slightly discordant tune. Around it, dozens of wooden ponies with massive saddles were mounted on tarnished brass poles, all with a wide-eyed, slightly desperate expression, as if they’d been frozen in time while fleeing some great terror. Pinkie immediately leapt into the saddle of the fanciest one.
Rarity eyed the wooden monstrosities dubiously. Foals were meant to enjoy this? If she’d seen this as a foal it would have given her nightmares. It was very nearly giving her one now. “Shall I get on the one next to you?”
Pinkie patted the pony’s worn saddle. “No, silly. We’re supposed to ride double. Come sit in front of me!”
Hmmm. Well, at least this promises to be interesting in that respect. Being held by Pinkie would be some consolation. Innocent though she was, Pinkie was an accomplished snuggler.
Pinkie threaded her legs underneath Rarity’s and grasped the brass pole. Scooching forward, she nestled up against Rarity as closely as she could manage. “Okay, you gotta hang on. These ponies can get kinda frisky!” Grinning, she tightened her grip on both Rarity and the pole.
“Well, I imagine they do go up and down a bit, but I doubt you’ll need a deathgrip on the pole, love.” Rarity delighted to be held so tightly, nonetheless. Her cheeks colored slightly as the idea of riding a frisky pony brought to mind some fantasies she’d been having about the mare behind her. Patience. You’ve only now begun dating. Plenty of time for that.
Pinkie leaned forward, resting her chin on Rarity’s shoulder. “You feel kinda hot all of a sudden. Are you—whoa!”
The tempo of the calliope’s song picked up as the carousel glided gently into motion. Pinkie squealed as their pony slowly rose and fell in smooth, precise arcs. Nearby, other couples grinned to each other and tightened their grips.
“Wait... what’s going on—” Rarity grabbed the pommel of the wooden pony with both hooves as the mechanisms that drove the carousel began to pick up a bit more speed than she’d anticipated.
The song’s pitch increased again, and the wooden ponies moved into a brisk trot, then a lively canter. Pinkie’s mane streamed behind her while she squeezed Rarity and laughed. “Okay, okay! Here. We. Go!”
“Wait wait, what do you mean here we go? Surely this is—”
With a labored, mechanical whine, the carousel’s roof rose on a geared track. Beneath it, a bored unicorn sat in a hidden compartment. Resting his cheek in a hoof, he sighed and reached out with his magic. Plucking the carousel horses from their mooring, he sent them soaring out into the night sky. The wooden ponies dipped and rose surprisingly smoothly for the breathtaking speeds they’d achieved. The riders high-hoofed each other as they came together and parted in complex patterns.
“This is the best carousel ever!” Pinkie yelled into the night sky.
There are moments in everypony’s life when they are assured in their mind they are going to die. Rarity had experienced several of these moments. When she was confronted by vengeful enemies, when she was falling from great heights with nothing below her but clouds—that one cropped up far too often—this was just another of what had become a pattern in Rarity’s life. She could do little at such times but panic, but she refused to do so now. She was here, with somepony she loved, and if she had to die, at least she had that. She shut her eyes tightly, waiting for the end to come.
“Aww, it’s always over too quick,” Pinkie said with a sigh. Inch by inch, the wooden horses descended. The whirling patterns slowed from heart stopping to merely hoof-biting, and then back to gentle. The brass poles found their way back into their receptacles with a reassuring click and the roof ratcheted down back into place once again.
As the ride ground to a halt, Pinkie leapt off and ran rapidly in place, her hooves a blur. “That was so great! Oh, I could do it all day! You wanna go again? We could—” Turning to offer Rarity a hoof down, Pinkie’s smile slowly fell apart. “You okay, Rarity? You’re white as a ghost! I mean, you’re always white as a ghost, but you look like a really scared ghost and ghosts are supposed to be the scarers, not the scarees.”
Carefully opening her eyes, Rarity looked around her new surroundings. She had expected the afterlife to be less... smelly. Either I’m not dead... or my flaws have condemned me to Tartarus. Seeing Pinkie, she relaxed. She had to be alive; there was no way Pinkie would be in there with her. Having established her survival, she tried to ensure its continuance by being very careful as she got off the ride. “I-I’m just fine, darling,” she replied with as little shakiness as she could manage. “Um... Let’s... go someplace saf—to eat.”
“Uh, sure.” Pinkie took Rarity’s outstretched hoof, then frowned at it. “Rarity. You’re trembling. Oh, come here.” Gently pulling the unicorn off of the ride, she wrapped Rarity in a tight embrace. “It’s okay. I didn’t know how to feel after my first time, either. My front hooves were trying to run around all over the place, and my back left one wanted to dance. My back right hoof wanted to sing, and I don’t even know how it managed that.” Snuggling her cheek against her date’s, Pinkie squeezed. “It’s overwhelming, for sure.”
“Well, the important thing is that you had fun, love. But I really need to sit down somewhere that won’t fly off the ground for a long while.” Rarity took several deep, calming breaths. She could do this. The carousel had surprised her, but at least she knew what to expect in the future. Granted, she now knew to expect horrible gut-wrenching terror, but at least she knew ahead of time.
Pinkie lower lip trembled. “Oh, no! You didn’t like it, did you?” She touched the corner of Rarity’s mouth. “You should be smiley here, but you’re not. Your mouth’s all tight.”
“It... wasn’t as I expected, is all, darling,” Rarity admittedly grudgingly. “Much like your unusual baking concoctions—” And you, yourself “—I suspect it’s an acquired taste.”
“Huh. I figured you’d know all about it,” Pinkie said, opening the exit stile for Rarity. “It was built by the Canterlot Society for Unicorny Somethingorothers a while ago. It sounded really fancy, and when I think fancy, I think Rarity!”
“And I am certain they did a wonderful job with the designs... but I wasn’t expecting the high speeds or aerial maneuvers...” At Pinkie’s blank but curious expression, she huffed out a frustrated breath. “Well, have you ever mixed up ingredients, like say... salt with sugar, then bitten into that and gotten a horrible salty cupcake?”
Pinkie thought for a moment. “Uh… no, but Applejack did, and then I had to stay in bed for two days.” Pinkie stuck out her tongue. “Those were some terrible muffins, and they made my tummy upset. I think we should have used fewer worms.”
“Well, that’s... close to what I mean. When you expect a nice smooth ride with somepony you love behind you, and things fly off the rails... it’s hard to have fun. I was glad for you, at least, but for me... I was terrified. I’m sorry.” Rarity did her best to smile. “But have no fear, darling. I think I can brave them for you. Just... be a dear and warn me of what’s coming?”
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie bounded into the air, circling Rarity. “Well, what’s coming next is something yummy to eat! So whattaya want?” Pinkie pointed out vendors as the passed. “They’ve got fried butter on a stick over there. Ooh, and super-glaze funnel cakes!” She froze in mid-leap, turning to give Rarity a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, they don’t make them out of funnels anymore. Celestia passed new baking regulations. And the griffons sell something they call ‘Chunky Nuggets,’ which I’ve always sorta been curious about. So it’s kinda down to what you feel like. They’ve got everything here!”
“Fried... butter? How would that even...” Rarity shook her head, trying to dismiss the images brought to mind by Pinkie’s descriptions. Over drinks one evening, Rainbow had told her of griffon cuisine, and while meat wasn’t necessarily a problem for a pony to digest, it was not exactly good for you, either.
Best to avoid the griffon stand, then.
“What exactly is a funnel cake?” Rarity asked, having decided it was the least offensive option.
Pinkie snatched up Rarity’s hoof and ran. “C’mon! It’ll be easier to show you than tell you!” Wide-eyed ponies leapt out of their way as Pinkie barrelled toward a ramshackle clapboard shop called The Funnel of Love.
A grizzled stallion with burn scars criss-crossing his muzzle leaned out the shop’s service window. “What can I get you lovely ladies?”
“The Matrimonial!” Pinkie said, sliding five bits across the counter.
“Uh… just for the two of you?” the stallion replied, arching his eyebrow.
Pinkie nodded. “Yup. My marefriend’s starving.”
Shrugging, the stallion disappeared inside. “Suit yourself. One Matrimonial, comin’ up!”
Pinkie pulled out a chair at a nearby table. Brushing away a pile of crumbs, she held it out for Rarity and stiffened her upper lip as best she could. “Would you care for a seat, madam?”
Rarity had been flummoxed for several moments now, uncertain which insane thing to respond to first; the name of the business, the confection, or Pinkie’s casual assertion that they were dating. She’d just barely accepted the idea herself. She decided, for the moment at least, to ignore everything her mind was screaming at her and just relax. “Thank you, my darling. So... I still don’t know what a funnel cake is. Care to fix that?”
Pinkie slid into the seat opposite Rarity. “Well, it’s kinda like a donut if it thought it was a puff pastry that thought it was a bunch of snakes.” Tapping her chin, Pinkie scrunched her face up. “I’m forgetting something… Oh, yeah!” Pinkie’s ears perked up. “Then they put powdered sugar all over it and sometimes some strawberry jam!”
“I see... so it’s bits of fried dough covered in sugar?” Rarity could almost feel her hips expand at the very thought. Still, hardly worse than the fried butter... ”Well, that sounds edible, at least.”
Pinkie’s mouth dropped open. “Edible?! Are you kidding? Funnel cakes are the most scrummilicious, yummerific things in this whole park!” Grinning slyly, she reached out with a hind hoof, poking Rarity’s thigh under the table. “And don’t tell me you don’t like pastries! I saw you eat that eclair at Twilight’s birthday party last month! You loved it!”
“Confections and I have a bit of a love hate relationship, darling. I do enjoy them. But I pay for it afterwards.” Rarity lifted her own hindleg, running a gentle caress along Pinkie’s calf with the tip of a hoof. “If you intend to feed me sweets, maybe you’d like to help me work them off, later?” she asked coyly, batting her eyelashes.
Pinkie jumped slightly at the hoof’s touch. “Well, sure! I have to run around all over the place to keep in shape, but the sugar gives me all the energy to work off the sugar, so it all works out!” Grinning, she clapped her hooves. “Oh, this is great! We can stay up real late working it all off so that you’re still as amazing in the morning as you always are!” Pinkie looked down at her belly, poking it with a hoof. “I’ll still be pudgy, but that’s okay. More room for cake that way.”
“Yes...” Rarity said, a little frustrated. “Exercise. But not so much running, I think. There are far more enjoyable ways to burn calories.”
Pinkie’s cheeks felt hot, and she was having considerable trouble not squirming. Rarity’s hoof was making her tingle in ways that she wasn’t used to. It was like being ticklish, but deeper. “Uh, sure!” she said, swallowing hard. “Whatever you want, as long as we’re togeth—”
“Here you go, ladies!” The stallion slowly made his way to their table, balancing a three-tiered, sugar-coated monstrosity on his back. Several sparklers blazed away, stuck into the cake at odd angles, and red jam dripped down its sides. “One Matrimonial. Hope you’re hungry!” Twisting carefully, he grabbed the edge of the plate with his teeth and swung the teetering confection onto their table. He tipped his paper hat and gave Pinkie a wink. “She’s a real beaut!” he said from behind his hoof in a carrying stage whisper. Grinning, he trotted back to his shop.
“Yeah, you are,” Pinkie mumbled from around a bulging mouthful of funnel cake. Rolling her eyes up to the sky, her eyelids fluttered. “Oh. Rarity. This is amazing! Did you see the structure?” Pinkie pointed to the different tiers. “Nopony else but Funnel of Love knows how to make the cake do this. I’ve tried a few times at Sugarcube Corner, and, well… I just get a really big donut. But they get it to look like a wedding cake somehow, so they called it the Matrimonial. Now it’s an Expo date tradition!” Pinkie dropped her eyes, falling silent for a moment. “I… Um, well… I always wanted to have somepony to get one with. I thought about it a whole bunch, but I never in a million years thought…” Trembling, Pinkie stuffed another bite into her mouth and wiped her eye.
Rarity’s hoof stilled, all thoughts of flirting gone. Her heart skipped a beat, and a single tear welled up in her eye. “That... may be the sweetest thing anypony has ever said to me...” she whispered, feeling entirely breathless. “I’m... I’m glad I was here to share it with you.” With an air of reverence, Rarity picked up a piece of the funnel cake in her magic and bit into it. She wasn’t sure what to expect... but then, such was her emotional state at that time that it could have been nearly anything and it would have tasted heavenly. The fact that the confection in question was, as Pinkie had told her, scrumptious, certainly did not hurt.
In a relatively short time, she’d consumed far more of the confection than she was expecting to. She smiled apologetically, laying a piece of it down without even trying to take another bite. “Sorry... I don’t know if we are supposed to finish this as part of the tradition but I don’t think my poor stomach can take more abuse. But... I...” she shook her head, unable to find the words. Instead she leaned over the table, pecking Pinkie on the cheek. “Thank you.”
“Oh, c’mon, Rarity!” Pinkie said, pulling the unicorn into the cramped tent. “It’s like makeup, right? They’ll just be using paint instead. You can’t go to the Expo without getting your face painted!”
“Now, just to be clear, this is water-soluble? I can’t take anymore surprises today,” Rarity replied, a slightly worried look on her face. While the idea didn’t bother her (after all, it really wasn’t much different than makeup), she wanted to be certain she could undo whatever had been done if she didn’t like it.
“The Chromatic Combo please!” Pinkie said to two paint-spattered ponies who stood smiling in a corner. “Just sit back and enjoy, Rarity. I’ve done this a million times, and the paint always comes off with a good scrubbing. Well, except that one time when I had to go to Canterlot to find some unicorn with a scouring spell, but you are a unicorn, so that’s all taken care of.” Pinkie flopped into a stained chair and pointed to the one across from her. “Sit there. Then we can keep an eye on each other. It’ll be fun!
“Yes... so you said about the Carousel. Please forgive me for questioning if I’ll find the same thing fun,” Rarity muttered darkly. She schooled her expression to be less petulant. After all, she was supposed to be having fun, and by Celestia, she would power through for Pinkie. “Sorry, that was rude of me.”
Pinkie waved a hoof vaguely. “Eh, Applejack says stuff like that to me all the time when I jump into her hay piles, so I’m used to it. She’s so picky about them being all bunched up. Sometimes you just have to show ponies how much fun new stuff can be.” Pinkie paused for a moment, thinking. “But you’d think she’d know how to jump in the hay. Apple Bloom sure does! It’s like some kind of straw bomb went off in that barn! Anyway, I think you’ll love this. It’s like going to the spa!”
“Like the spa? That... that doesn’t even begin to make sen—” Rarity closed her mouth with a snap. She was being counter-productive. “Nevermind.”
The taller of the two employees trotted to Rarity. Tilting her head to the side, she squinted at the unicorn for a few long moments. “Hmmm. You’re a winter. How about we warm you up with some spring colors?” With rapid-fire precision, the mare snatched several small jars of paint from a cabinet and arranged them neatly on the metal tray beside her. “I’d suggest something in these hues. It would compliment both your natural beauty and the color of your friend’s coat.”
“It will be fine, I’m sure,” Rarity replied with dismissal. She lowered her voice, leaning closer to the mare about to turn her into a living canvas. “No offense to you but I’m really just doing this for her. Just do your best and don’t make me look foolish, please.”
The mare dropped a hoof onto Rarity’s shoulder and nodded. “I understand completely. We see this sort of thing all the time. Mostly from stallions, but there’s usually one pony who’s a little more excited to be here than the other.”
Across from the unicorn, Pinkie giggle-snorted and kicked her hind legs out gently. “It tickles!”
“Ma’am,” her attendant said reproachfully.
“I know, I know,” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes. “Sit still.” She tipped a wink at Rarity and mouthed “It still tickled!”
Moistening her brush with the tip of her tongue, the artist dipped it into a jar of soft green and set to work just beneath Rarity’s right eye. “So, have you been having a good time here are the Expo?”
“That’s... a difficult question. I've certainly enjoyed how happy my marefriend is, that’s the short answer.” Rarity’s lips tugged upwards into a ghost of a smile. “She’s a bit of a thrill-seeker, and I’m not.”
The mare nodded, clucking her tongue. “Oh, me neither.” She lowered her voice to a whisper as she dipped her brush again. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the art academy’s tuition. This whole place is just dirty and a little weird, but ponies sure seem to love it for some reason. I’d rather stroll through a gallery, but that’s just me.” The mare took a step back, tilting her head to the side for a moment. “Hmmm. Maybe a little blue. Who does your hair, by the way? It’s phenomenal.”
“The spa twins, Aloe and Lotus. They are amazing.” Rarity smiled, warming up slightly to the other mare. “If you like, mention Rarity when you go; my referrals get a discount on the first visit.”
The mare pulled away and gasped. “Rarity? Did you donate dress patterns to the Equestrian Institute for Art and Design? I took a class on independent fashion movements last semester and part of our curriculum was comparing patterns from all over Equestria. I remember somepony named Rarity because their vision was so fresh and exciting!”
“Erm... well, I think I did after I finished that line,” Rarity replied, feeling a little uncomfortable being praised for giving up a few templates of her less successful creations. They were really just taking up space, after all. “Honestly though, that was not my best work—”
The mare traced a cold, wet stroke down the side of Rarity’s muzzle. “Well, we all thought they were amazing. The fashion students all fought over them. Everypony wanted to be the one to take them back to their dorms for more study.” She rinsed the brush, then dipped it into a new color. Closing one eye, the mare took hold of Rarity’s chin and turn her head back and forth gently. “Hmmm. More blue, maybe.” Stepping away, she turned. “Hey, Palette. What do you think? More blue?”
The short, brown pegasus working on Pinkie stepped away and nodded. “Very modern! Yes, I think a little more blue would balance things out.”
In the opposite chair, Pinkie gasped. “Oh, Rarity! I love it!”
Rarity’s attention was drawn from the overly-effusive artist to her marefriend, and she had to suppress a gasp. Pinkie’s artist was using her natural coloring to evoke a delicate-looking flower bloom, with her eye as it’s center. Her eyelashes were being made up to look like stamens, every color was blended to perfection. Rarity almost expected to be able to pluck it from Pinkie’s face.
Pinkie dropped her eyes, her cheeks blazing. “I… I guess you like it, huh? Bet it’s not as pretty as yours, though.”
“It’s as gorgeous as you yourself, darling.” She leaned forward very slightly, whispering to her own artist. “Do you suppose you could suggest an indigo bloom for the opposite eye? It would complement nicely.”
The mare winked. “I was just thinking the same thing.” Leaning over, she whispered for a moment into her co-worker’s ear, who then turned, eyes wide, to stare at Rarity.
“Really?” she breathed to her friend.
“Mmhmm.” Rarity’s artist pushed her back toward Pinkie. “So go do it.” Smiling, the mare dabbed bits of glitter around Rarity’s eyes, then held out a mirror for the unicorn. “There. Take a look.”
Rarity blinked at her reflection for a moment, then gently took the mirror. Eyes wide, she turned her head this way and examining each angle. “My word...”
Beside her, the artist bit her lip. “I-if you don’t like it, I can—”
Rarity threw her hoof up, silencing the mare. “One moment, please.” Finally returning the mirror to center line, Rarity sat and stared. She’d been expecting something like Pinkie had received. Instead, formless warmth danced across her features.
The effect was startling. While Pinkie had become a flower, Rarity’s artist had transformed her into the vibrancy that surrounded it. In her reflection, Rarity caught hints of sweet perfume, the warmth of the summer sun, and the passion felt when your true love held a bouquet to your muzzle. Rarity hoof shook as she carefully touched a glowing pink swirl beneath her eye.
Pinkie leaned forward, her eyes full of concern. “Don’tcha like it? I think it’s pretty—”
“It’s magnificent!” Rarity said, a huge grin erupting across her features. Checking the mirror again, she allowed herself a few Pinkie Pie-esque hoofy-kicks. “Gorgeous!”
Rarity’s artist sagged against the wall, explosively releasing the breath she’d been holding. “Thank heavens!”
Rarity leapt from her chair and muzzled Pinkie, careful not spoil their facepaint. “You were so right, my dear. This is just what I needed!” Rarity pulled her date out of the chair and to a large mirror at the back of the building. “Ah! Look at us!”
Pinkie waggled her eyebrows. “See, I told you that you can’t come to the expo without getting some of their superduperawesome facepainting! It’s the best!”
“We simply must have a picture!” Rarity beckoned her artist over. “Miss, surely there are photo booths of some sort here, correct?”
The mare approached, licking her lips nervously. “Um, yeah. There are a couple in the park. I could circle them on your map if you want. Also…” She held out a piece of parchment and a pen. “Would you mind? I mean, if you don’t want to, that’s cool, but if you don’t mind—”
Pinkie’s artist crept in with parchment of her own. “This is so exciting! I can’t believe Miss Rarity brought her date to our stall!”
Rarity looked down at the pieces of parchment, dumbfounded. “Well, certainly, I suppose...” her face brightened as she thought of something. “Oh, on one condition! Each of you must sign your work! Somewhere not terribly obvious, but later when I look back at these pictures, I want to remember you when you were just beginning to practice your craft!”
Pinkie leapt forward and pointed to her wide open mouth.” Ooo! ’Y ’ongue!” ’Ign ’y ’ongue!”
Rarity stiffened, turning to Pinkie in utter confusion. “D-did... you just suggest they lick us?”
“Well, where else are they gonna sign their work in a totally not obvious spot on our faces?” Pinkie replied with a shrug.
Rarity’s shook her head. “Ah, I misheard. Um... perhaps just a little mark on the cheek for me.”
“It’s your turn to pick! Whatcha wanna do now?” Pinkie said as they trotted from the photo stall. “The Swayback Screamer? Montezebra’s Revenge? Nightmare Moon’s Nightmare Flume?”
“Well... remind me what those rides were again? And don’t leave anything out please. I would like to be prepared.”
Pinkie eyes lit up. “Well, we could go on The Crystal Heartstopper! It’s the steepest water ride in allllllll of Equestria, but The Nightmare Flume is the twistiest, and it’s all in the dark, so you don’t know what’s gonna happen!” Digging her map out of her saddlebag, Pinkie spread it on the ground. “There’s the Dizz-A-Tron. The Wonderbolts leave it here when they aren’t recruiting, so we could see what Rainbow went through.” Pinkie threw up a hoof as Rarity’s mouth dropped open. “Don’t worry, they put nets up for you to fall into, and ponies almost never miss.”
Pinkie hunkered down and ran her hoof along the park’s twisting pathways. Her hoof lingered over a labyrinthine structure dominating one side of the map. “But what I really want to go on is The Powerdive! It’s zoomy and swirly, and you can’t walk straight for like five minutes after you get off! And everypony gets a ‘My stomach survived The Powerdive!’ T-shirt if no one gets sick!” Pinkie scowled at the map. “But somepony always does! I’ve been trying to get that shirt since I was an itty bitty twinkie Pinkie…”
Rarity thought intently. She really wanted to avoid any ride that involved water, both for her hair and the sake of their gorgeous face paintings. The Dizz-A-Tron was right out, and the Screamer and Revenge sounded dreadful. She did make note of the Powerdive as a point of interest. The idea of fulfilling a foalhood dream of Pinkie’s did appeal. “Any others?”
“Well, anyway. The Dragon Dropper’s over here, and beside that’s The Diamond Dog Ferrous Wheel—”
Rarity had to suppress a squeal as she realized one of those sounded normal. “Oh! Well, a Ferris wheel certainly sounds lovely. Let’s go do that!” She then hesitated. “It... it doesn’t fly off into the air, does it?”
“No,” Pinkie replied with a heavy sigh. “But the chairs are floaty. It runs on magnets somehow. I asked Twilight how it worked once, but she just kept talking and talking. Next thing I knew, she was shaking me awake and yelling about her friends never paying attention when she’s trying to teach!” Pinkie lower lip quivered slightly. “I-I did wanna know, just… not the long way, y’know?”
“That sounds safe enough...” When Pinkie’s ears drooped, she was quick to add: “Darling, I know it’s not the thrilling ride you wanted, but just bear with me, and I’ll have a surprise for you for the next one. That is... if you’ll let me pick two?”
Pinkie’s eyes grew wide. “A surprise? Ooh! Ooh! What is it?” Rearing, she placed her hooves on Rarity’s chest and leaned in close. “Am I gonna like it? No, wait!” Pinkie dropped to the ground and set her jaw. “It won’t be a surprise if you tell, and I wanna be surprised. Two picks it is!”
“Ah, thank you, love.” Rarity rewarded Pinkie’s trust with a kiss. “You shan’t regret it.”
The ride on the Ferrous Wheel was exactly as promised. Rarity had a nice, relaxing time snuggling with Pinkie. Pinkie, on the other hoof, was fidgeting like mad. She was trying, the poor thing, but merely going around in circles wasn’t terribly exciting.
Still, despite her boredom with the ride itself, Pinkie seemed happy to be there with Rarity, and so had a reasonably good time.
Stepping off the ride, however, Pinkie’s pulse quickened. A surprise was coming! She waited anxiously for it to be revealed.
Rarity, meanwhile, was feeling a bit... green. The ‘Matrimonial’ was giving her clear indications that the honeymoon was over, and was threatening to pack its bags and exit the same way it came in. She was doing her best to resolve this tiff with her stomach to ensure nothing drastic happened. “Pinkie, would you happen to know of any vendors who sell ginger ale? Or ginger cookies, anything with ginger.” At Pinkie’s blank look, she added: “Or... mint? Mint would work.”
“Uh, well, they pretty much have everything here, so… sure!” Pinkie held up a hoof. “Just give me one second.” Pinkie disappeared in a cloud of dust, tearing down the crowded pathway.
“Well, certainly—”
“Okay, I’m back!” Pinkie said, skidding to a stop. “I got you some peppermint bark from real pepper trees. And here’s some deep fried ginger dogs. Ooh! and these peppered peppermint mints!” Rummaging deeper, Pinkie pulled out several more bags. “I’ve got chocolate mint disks, and cubes, and… uh… pyramids.” She frowned at the last confection. “Do those seem pointy to you? Kinda hard to eat. Whatever, still chocolate. Anyway, there’s also gingersnaps, which Gummy likes, and ginger beer, which Berry Punch likes, and—”
“The mint disks will work, thank you,” Rarity said quickly, snatching the appropriate bag and chewing a few of them. Her stomach still felt a little sour, but was no longer threatening to rebel against her at that particular moment. She looked at the ‘pyramids’ in the other bag Pinkie had displayed. “Um... darling. Don’t eat those. You seem to have purchased a bag of oddly shaped dice.”
Pinkie fished out a pyramid and brought it up to her eye. “Huh. So that’s where those went! I was supposed to give those to Min Max three weeks ago.” Pinkie gave the die a small nibble. “Nope, definitely not mint. Maybe somepony should make those, you know, for when the game gets all long and you’ve been running around in a dungeon all night and your tummy’s all growly but you don’t want to miss out on the treasure.”
“That is why Celestia invented the potato chip, love. Well... actually no, that was a distant relative of the Apple family and—” Rarity stopped, cocking her head to one side, dumbfounded at her own words. “Why do I know this? Ugh... Do yourself a favor, if Applejack and Rainbow invite you to play drunk board games, just say no. You’ll only end up with a headache and some oddly specific Apple family history.”
Pinkie scratched her mane. “How would you play the game if somepony drank it? And how would you even do that? Like, a board game smoothie?”
“You don’t drink the game...” Rarity took a deep breath, letting it out noisily. “Nevermind. I’ll show you sometime. Now, point me towards that Powerdive. We’re going to get you that T-shirt.”
Pinkie’s mouth dropped open. “For really? Rarity, are… are you sure?”
Rarity nodded firmly, setting her face in grim determination. “You have my word.”
Pinkie ran in place, her hooves a blur, before tackling Rarity in to the nearby bushes. “Eeeee! Omigosh! Omigosh! Rarity, you’re the best! I thought maybe that kiss was the surprise, because it kind of surprised me, and I was really happy about it, but this! Oh, Rarity!” Pinkie kissed the unicorn twice. Hard the first time, eagerly, her eyes wide open and shining. Then a second time, more gently, her eyes fluttering closed. Finally, she pulled back and rested her head on Rarity’s chest. “Thank you,” she whispered.
With some trepidation, Fluttershy leaned down and sniffed the bowl that Pinkie had placed on the table before her. The soup inside was violently ochre. “Um, Pinkie—”
“Eat up! It’s good!” Pinkie spooned a heaping portion into her mouth. “Mmmm! Mggrl Fgmmlrm!” Cheeks bulging, Pinkie chewed with gusto.
“Well, okay.” Fluttershy stared at her spoon for several long seconds. “She’s trying to be nice to you,” she whispered under her breath. “You pick that spoon up right now and take a bite.” Willing her hooves to stop trembling, Fluttershy scooped up some of the soup and took the smallest bite that she thought etiquette would allow. After a moment of chewing, she turned to stare at Pinkie with wide eyes. “It’s… it’s delicious!”
A large bulge traveled down Pinkie’s throat as she swallowed a huge mouthful. “Well, of course, silly! I’m not gonna make us eat yucky soup.”
“It’s just… Nevermind,” Fluttershy said with the ghost of a smile. “But speaking of good, I thought you said your date was really terrible, but…” Fluttershy rested her cheek on her hoof and stared off into space. “I’m so sorry if I missed something, but it sounds like you two had a really nice time. Well, maybe not that carousel—”
Pinkie sighed and nodded slowly. “Yeah, that wasn’t so good. I just figured she knew, ya know? I mean, it’s a unicorn ride, and she’s a unicorn… I messed that one up.” Pinkie fought back the rising quaver in her voice. “I’m kinda always messing something up.”
“Oh, Pinkie, that’s not true at all,” Fluttershy said, rising from the table and wrapping her hooves around Pinkie, “It sounds like everything else was just lovely. I’m sure Rarity really appreciated it.”
Pinkie laid her head on Fluttershy’s shoulder and fell silent for a few moments. “Do you know why I made us weird soup, Fluttershy?” she finally said.
Fluttershy stiffened. “Huh?”
Pinkie gave her friend a final squeeze and sat down in the chair across from Fluttershy’s. “I wanted to show that if you’re brave, sometimes really great things can happen. I-I didn’t know if all that stuff would come together, but it did, didn’t it?”
Fluttershy nodded and slipped back into her own chair.
“I was brave when I trusted myself to blend the ingredients together, and then you were brave when you ate it, even when you didn’t want to.”
“I didn’t mind trying it, Pink…” Fluttershy wilted under Pinkie’s scrutinizing stare. “Okay, you’re right. I really didn’t want to eat it.”
“See? You were brave because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings. That’s what it’s all about. You’ve got something or somepony to live up to, so you just do the things that scare you, even when they’re hard. I wanted to live up to all those romantic ponies that Rarity dreams about, so I thought I’d take her to the most funnerific spot I knew of, and then we’d have such a great time that we’d end up kissing—” Pinkie flushed a deep crimson “—a-and maybe more. I didn’t know if my date idea was going to come together either, but you never know until you try. I figured it couldn’t hurt.” Pinkie swallowed hard, her voice dropping into a husky whisper. “I didn’t know how wrong I was… Or what being strong for somepony you love actually meant. Before the night was over, Rarity showed me that she’s the brave one.”