//------------------------------// // The Overlord and the one who never laughs part 3 // Story: The Overlord // by Space Wizard Novablast //------------------------------// "Well, what if I told you that he's me?" Ollie asked, pointing at the pony near the small bonfire. He got a dirty and bemused look from Luna. "I'd tell you that you need to lay of the hallucinogenics." She said, to which Jack cooed in with a short "Badum Tish." "No, I'm deadly serious." Ollie said, nodding enthusiastically like a small kid. "Wanna hear the story?" "No, not really." "Too bad." Twas an age ago, when the stars had not yet been destroyed and Jack had not yet become the giant dickhead he was now! "And you hadn't started drinking." Jack muttered. "I think you're talking about paradise itself Ollie, because i have trouble believing such a place even exists." Luna commented dryly. Eliciting a high five from Jack. "Shut up, both of you, I'm being dramatic...... And shit." Ollie yelled. Shooting a single fireball right past their heads, which with justification scared a couple of hobos completely shitless. "As I was saying..... In this lost and forgotten age a conqueror lived, he was sexy and handsome, strong and clever, intelligent and loved by everyone!" "Who's he talking about Jack?" Luna asked, causing the Englishman to shrug. "Isn't it obvious?" Ollie said in the most suave way he could, which doesn't really say much. Jack was scratching his head in confusion as he looked at his hand counting. "Confusios the Magnificent?" Jack muttered to himself. "Nah, nobody liked that old geezer, and he wasn't particularly strong." Jack scratched his head again while Ollie continued. "And if Jack didn't immediately shut up he'd be gutted with the wire of a Wall-mart discount toaster!" Ollie said, looking particularly pissed. Which was like his regular pissed but he had this sort of really disgusted look on his face. "The hell is a wall-mart?" Luna asked. "Precisely what you just said. It's hell." Jack answered. "If we can get back on topic?" Ollie growled, once again his hand a lit with fire. "Sure, but can you quit the entire epic tale theme?" Luna asked, shifting uncomfortably in place. "It gives me the creeps." Ollie sighed. "Fine," he said. "I'll quit my awesome tale of epic awesomeness and settle for the boring and mundane way of telling you Bout this." Ollie sat down on a small crate and leant against the wall. "That pony there is me." "I understood that the first f#cking time you said it." Luna said exasperatedly. Sighing with annoyance and giving Ollie the stinkeye. Ollie didn't pay her any attention however, and he just continued talking. "Back in my homeland I was slowly growing older, and I knew that at some point I would need someone who could take up arms once I had died. I needed an heir." Luna had eventually calmed down and stopped tearing at her mane. "Okay, so what does that have to do with this pony?" "Well, I couldn't exactly leave my throne in unsafe hands. So I needed somebody I could fully control and manipulate. So I decided to create one." Ollie explained. Speaking slowly as if to a five year old. "You made a pony?" Luna asked bemused and slightly confused. "NO!" Ollie yelled. Accidentally slamming his head into the brick wall, causing the wall to have a small hole, from where two pegasi stared out with confusion. "I'd suggest you get out of here guys, I can't guarantee the survival of you if ya don't." Jack said, to which both pegasi nodded and hurried along. "He's a shapeshifter!" Ollie said, just as slowly as before. But now with the voice of someone speaking with a brain-damaged ten year old. "........ What drugs are you on right now?" Ollie slapped himself in the face before he started sobbing into his palms. "Why am I surrounded by people with intelligences that would bring shame to a fucking earthworm?!" He cried. "I guess you're rubbing off on us." Luna said dryly, long ago having lost all energy that she'd have used to be upset with him. Ollie shook his head and clenched his head. "Okay, focus Ollie, focus...." He said, taking some deep breaths. "Okay, I'm good." "Great," Jack said, "maybe she can finally get the fucking explanation for this entire menagerie!" "That'd be lovely." Luna quipped, leaning against the wall and getting as comfortable as she could in a brick alley. "I was unable to find a good replacement for my wonderful self, so I decided to create one in my own image. But apparently the spell work wasn't exactly finalized and well enough polished, seeing as the...... Thing I summoned was part Imp. Although much more intelligent." Ollie said, finishing his story as quickly as he could. "It was created with drops of my blood, The body of a deceased blue imp, certain dark incantations I learned from a guy I meet at the gay bar, and various different ingredients from my dark and evil kitchen, and then I dumped it all into my Easy Summon Ritual Pit." Ollie said, indicating with his hands that the story had come to an end. "That is literally the worst origin for an evil partner ever." Luna said with very unimpressed eyes. "Well fuck you, it's better if you experienced it first hand." Ollie said, waving her off and focusing on the pony, or demo rather, sitting near the campfire. "I'm just wondering why he's here." "Just ask him."