//------------------------------// // part two // Story: The best party ever // by ed2481 //------------------------------// Two Twilight was happy, actually to put it better she was ecstatic, actually that didn’t fit either she was caught up in a rapturous upwelling of joy so intense that she had been magically floating all day. Yesterday she had flawlessly dealt with the town’s weekly emergency which meant the today was Sunday, which meant that today was the day of her second party at Pinkie’s transdimensional mansion! Ever since her first party last week Twilight had been kept up every night thinking about it, but this time she had a game plan. She wouldn’t walk around looking lost like a lost duckling, this time she would capitalize this amazing opportunity to learn more about the nature of both magic and the universe itself! She also wanted to try some more of the amazing types of alcohol, but that was beside the point. Just as night was falling Twilight made her way to the edge of Everfree and repeated the same steps as she had last time. After a quick flash of light she found herself once more standing in front of the mansion with its pleasant white washed walls. As she approached she was slightly disgruntled by the lack of a pounding base, or any other instrument for that matter. With a sinking feeling of dread Twilight mad her way up to the door, and marshaling her courage knocked lightly on the door. To her relief the familiar form of Haskill greeted her, he looked down at her and said. “Miss Twilight I see you have decided to join us again, what a pleasure.” His voice was deadpan, but Twilight couldn’t seem to find a reason for it to be. “Why isn’t there any music playing?” Twilight asked Haskill, who was still obstructing her view of the room. “Because you’re an hour early.” Haskill told her, a slight smile touching his lips “But fear not, Mistress Pie guessed you would arrive before most of the others. In her unquestionable wisdom she has set up a small table from which you to wait for the party proper to begin. This is also so that you don’t inadvertently disrupt the proper procedure that setting up a party of this magnitude entails.” Twilight was surprised, he’d never seemed stupid, but she was surprised at the size of his words and effortlessness that he had used them to describe her situation. Seeing the look of surprise on her face Haskill merely smiled and said. “After working for a god of madness for so long I have picked up on the fact that serendipity favors those who are well prepared and retain a strong vocabulary, don’t you concur?” Twilight couldn’t help herself she started to giggle softly, the words just sounded so funny coming out of a man dressed like a jester. “Lead onward oh master of knowledge and arcane word lore.” Twilight said earning a slight smile from Haskill. He led her to a small table that was set up on the far side of the main room as Twilight looked around her gathering visual information about the setting up of the party. The room looked oddly empty to Twilight without the hustle and bustle of the party going on inside, almost as if some great beast had made a nest but hadn’t laid any eggs yet. “Twilight I’m glad to see that you could make it.” Said Velvet who had walked up behind Twilight without her noticing “Velvet it’s good to see you, what are you doing here so early?” Twilight asked the black unicorn. “Oh I’m part of tonight’s entertainment, I get to sing a song called ‘I love rock and roll’” Velvet told her rolling her eyes at the name of the song. “Sounds like fun, where’s Calamity?” Twilight asked “Off helping Littlepip and Homage do something, he said he’d be back later.” Velvet told her, then she noticed a man with a black hair who was wielding a guitar that looked suspiciously like an axe waving towards her. She sighed before turning to Twilight and saying. “I’ve got to go, that’s Eddie he’s one of the band members so I’ve got to go practice, nice seeing you again Twilight.” With that she walked over towards the man with the guitar and started a deep conversation. Pinkie Pie was standing at the door preparing to welcome the first wave guests with Haskill standing next to her. Approaching on an electrified metal disk was a teenager in a blue jacket and black hair. “Static I’m glad you could make it.” Pinkie told him “I’m glad I could come to Pinkie, but I’m also acting as messenger for the League, and you’re not going to like it.” said Static a little nervously. “Why not, I’m sure it can’t be too bad?” Pinkie asked him in confusion “Well…” Static said while he fiddled with a piece of his hair “…apparently they’re bringing the entire JLU.” “Dear Celestia they can’t do that, even this house would barely hold them all, and I can’t rent out the entire party to one group!” Pinkie said her voice jumping an octave at the thought. “Ma’am if I may interject?” Haskill asked Pinkie nodded “I believe that there is one room that could hold all of them, we just don’t use it much because there’s almost never a big enough justification. There would of course only be allowed to be a certain number of leaguers outside at a certain time, but I do believe that we could set up a private catering service to run specifically to only that room.” Pinkie looked relieved, she still didn’t know every part of the house yet and once again Haskill had proven his worth. “Thanks Haskill, I’m assuming that you’ll take care of it?” Pinkie asked him, she received a nod as the man turned away to see to it that the staff knew what their jobs were. “You can come in Static, nobodies here yet but that doesn’t mean that you have to stand out on the doormat.” Static thanked her and made his way over to the bar, he was in-between dimensions, it couldn’t hurt. Pinkie turned around to find Twilight looking around dully at the walls and decided that no friend of hers was allowed to look that bored. “Twilight want to have some fun?” Pinkie asked her with a mischievous look in her eyes. Twilight looked up in surprise; she hadn’t noticed that Pinkie had even entered the room. “Sure Pinkie what do you have in mind?” Twilight asked turning her intelligent eyes to look at Pinkie. “I challenge you to not get drunk tonight, but here’s the catch, you have to have one drink every twenty minutes starting once this conversation is over.” “Ok…but how’s that fun?” Twilight asked her uncertainly, Pinkie flashed Twilight her infectious smile. “Well you need to find a way to get rid of enough of the alcohol from your system in time to avoid getting drunk, which means that if you’re planning on winning this challenge then you have to come up with a new spell.” Twilight looked skeptical at first but then nodded slowly to herself. “Yes, I see and I would have to perfect the power of the spell and find somewhere to put the excess alcohol.” She lapsed into silence for a second before saying “Challenge accepted Pinkie!” Pinkie smiled glad that she could provide Twilight with a worthy distraction. “I would start now because with every drink it’s going to get harder, oh and if you can’t do it forget about the challenge, I don’t want my distraction to ruin your time tonight.” Twilight nodded and waved her away with an impatient hoof. Pinkie walked back over to Haskill who looked at her sideways. “How good are her chances do you think Ma’am?” asked the steward “Oh around the same as me letting anypony from G3 in here.” Pinkie said with a shrug causing Haskill to chuckle. “Oh look guests are arriving!” Pinkie said excitedly. Twilight was perplexed, she’d spent ten of her allotted twenty minutes trying to think of a known way to get rid of the alcohol that would soon enter her bloodstream, but besides actually running a filter spell through all of her blood at the same time she couldn’t think of any. She spent the other ten minutes trying to come up with a new spell based on what she knew about alcohol, before she started to bang her head gently against the table in frustration. When her time ran out she walked over to the bar and asked for a glass of cider, it was a light way to start but she assumed it still counted. This was about the time that she noticed that the party had actually started, over at the buffet table there was an odd pink creature who seemed to be cramming entire platters of food into his mouth with no apparent negative. Standing next to the pink thing was a slightly annoyed looking metal thing wearing a cape and a sword at his waist. Twilight’s vision skimmed over them and landed on a man in green shirt and matching shorts who was arguing loudly with a tiny blue light hovering next to his head, intrigued Twilight decided to investigate. “…and that Navi is why I don’t need you to always pop up beside my ear and shout ‘HEY LISTEN’ as loud as you can twenty times in a row!” The man finished saying before he took a long drink from his mug. “And I think that you haven’t appreciated me since you met that Zelda girl!” The blue light responded indignantly in a high pitched female voice that made Twilight’s ears feel like someone was trying to saw through them. “Excuse me I’m working on a problem and your yelling is making it much harder to concentrate, if I help you solve this argument will you stop yelling?” Twilight asked the two who turned to look at her, the man’s face blushing; he hadn’t noticed that they were yelling so loud. “Sure, it would be nice to have an outside source’s opinion on the problem, I’m Link by the way and this is Navi my fairy.” Link told her kindly before gesturing to the blue light hovering around his shoulder. “Don’t introduce me like that Link; you’re my responsibility not the other way around! I am not an object in your position, nor am I going to accept the fact that you no longer require my help!” Replied Navi in outrage, the blue light surrounding her body was a blur of angry motion. “Could you both explain the cause of the strife between you please?” Twilight asked, she was already enjoying herself and the glass of cider was helping restrain her from smashing the fairy against the bar repeatedly just to make her stop talking. “Well you see it started back in the forest, I was the only kid in the entirety of the Deku village who didn’t have a fairy. Eventually I had a nightmare about a man named Gannon kidnapping a girl from the castle located outside of the forest where my village was. Then the guardian spirit of the woods the Great Deku tree sent Navi to be my guide and helper on a quest to save the world. Things worked out well at first, I mean I was really excited and happy to finally have a fairy, but after clearing a few of the dungeons that I needed to I began to realize that Navi had nothing useful to say.” Link told Twilight “Nothing useful to say, I have nothing useful to say!” raged Navi “I’ve saved your ungrateful life dozens of times Link, maybe hundreds, without me you’d be dead in a spider’s web at the bottom of a cave!” “Ok but give me some examples, what are some of the useless things that she’s told you as you claim over and over ad nauseam?” Twilight asked Link, not ignoring Navi completely, just focusing on the one who didn’t make her ears bleed. “Well for example with the power of my ocarina I can change the time of day, or even change the weather. Occasionally though I get a new song that I don’t want to try yet but she constantly yells HEY LISTEN at me to get my attention before telling me I should try to use the new song. Other times she tells me things that would be obvious to a toddler and she won’t shut up until I’ve listened!” Twilight nodded and then braced herself before turning to Navi. “And what’s your view on this Navi?” Bracing herself Twilight asked the fairy politely. “Well it’s my job to make sure that Link gets through all of his adventures and doesn’t end up as a bloodstain on a wall somewhere, sometimes he just ignores me and I feel unappreciated so I keep on trying to get his attention but he just ignores me! Do you realize how bad that is on someone’s self-esteem?” the Fairy sounded on the verge of tears, causing Link to look worriedly at her. “I’m sorry Navi I had no idea that you felt that way, I’ll try and pay more attention to you in the future.” Link said the sincerity in his voice was unmistakable. “And thank you…” Link lost his train of thought while he tried to place Twilight’s name. “Twilight” Twilight replied embarrassedly realizing that she’d never told them her name. “Yes thank you Twilight, I think we can fix this now!” Navi told her excitedly, Twilight managed a pained smile. “I’m happy I could help, now go save the world.” she told them before she walked farther down the bar to get another drink, it had of course been twenty minutes since her last one. Twilight sighed to herself, there really was no way that she could win this challenge and she’d been foolish to try, but at least she’d made an effort. Pinkie greeted another influx of guests, among them were two spiky haired men and a woman. They looked like any other group of dimension hoppers but Pinkie knew something was up; one of the men was wearing an orange jumpsuit. “Naruto I haven’t seen you for years!” Pinkie exclaimed causing the man in the middle to blush slightly. “Yeah I’m sorry Pinkie I’ve been busy.” Pinkie waved away his apology “Think nothing of it, once a friend of Pinkie always a friend of Pinkie. But remember your rule” Pinkie told him, he nodded gratefully and said. “I promise not to make clones of myself that look like incredibly beautiful women and then trick horny teenagers into taking them to bedrooms where they’ll vanish without a trace right after they take their tops off.” Naruto said sheepishly. “Good, then go and enjoy the party.” Pinkie told him with a smile, Haskill just sighed he hadn’t seen the degenerate in years either, and that hadn’t been long enough. “Ma’am I believe that the JLU is arriving, I suggest laying out the ground rules that I set up for you.” Haskill told Pinkie as he noticed the large number of heroically walking shapes rising out of the horizon. As one the two or three hundred members of the JLU landed in front of Pinkie and Haskill with the original seven landing directly in front. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience that we’ve probably caused you Pinkie, but the Watchtower can’t hold all of us plus our staff and we thought that everybody deserved a party.” Superman told her his voice was very sincere. “It’s fine I just wish that you had sent someone earlier then Static, now time for some ground rules.” Pinkie began. “Rule one no one besides the original seven is allowed to leave the room that we’re taking you to. Rule two I retain full rights to kick you out of the house if any of you start a super brawl. Rule three Haskill or any of our staff has just as much if not more authority then me so you will respect them. Finally rule four, have as much drunken fun as you possibly can without getting thrown out!” At the last one the entire JLU had burst into cheers and followed Haskill around to the entrance that he beckoned them towards. Except for the original seven who after some pleasantries walked into the main house, as he walked in Superman noticed two old friends of his sitting at a table taking, smiling he walked over and sat down. “Superman it’s been too long, how’s life been treating you?” asked one of the two, the other just nodded and looked expectantly at Superman. “Well you know I’ve saved the earth a few times, nothing to special.” Superman replied, among his current company it really wasn’t. “Oh yeah I’ve done it a bunch recently to.” Replied the first speaker nonchalantly after he took a bite of his burger. “And I’ve somehow managed to gain even more internet popularity…” said the other with a sigh. Superman nodded, he knew the feeling. “So guys how about an arm wrestle for old times’ sake?” the first speaker asked, the other two smiled. Goku leaned forward with a smile on his face and Superman joined him, Chuck of course just smiled and watched his friends. Completely unaware of the universe shaping event going on off to her left Twilight walked along until she accidently stumbled into Princess Luna. “Oh Twilight I didn’t see you there.” The Princess told her apologetically. “It’s fine Princess it was my fault completely.” Twilight told her easily. “Alright then, so are we set for later like last time?” Luna asked her looking at Twilight seductively, Twilight’s brain thought quickly and discerned the proper course of action. “Meep” Twilight said her eyes growing wide and blushing furiously, Luna looked at her with a playful look on her face. “Oh I love that about you Twilight, you’re so innocent. Well after last time maybe not quite so innocent but still it’s one of your best features.” Twilight’s brain had shut off except for one action that she could take. “Princess I’ll be right back, I have to strangle a certain pink pony.” Luna watched in amusement as Twilight ran towards Pinkie. As she passed Twilight noticed Static encountering a bit of a problem “STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!” Yelled one of the two soldiers dressed in heavy looking iron armor. Static was caught against the wall with the two soldiers standing threateningly in the way of any escape. “Son are you old enough to be drinking that alcoholic beverage in your home dimension?” The soldier asked, this time his voice wasn’t a shout but it still carried a lot of impact. “Oh come on I just had one drink!” Static told them. “Boy I used to be a hero like you, but then some drunk teenager shot an arrow into my knee, do you want to cripple someone and take away their purpose in life?” The other soldier who was wearing slightly different armor asked Static, his voice accusatory. “Aren’t I out of your departments?” Static asked desperately, he really didn’t want to be hauled home by two soldiers from another dimension and have to explain himself to Pops. “The law is our department kid, now I place you under arres…” he was cut off by the appearance of a short blonde woman who shined a badge in their face. “Karrin Murphy, SI, I’ve got this one boys.” Said the short blonde woman, the soldiers looked at each then shrugged in unison, they could both use a drink anyways. Once they were gone Murphy looked Static up and down once before she said. “I won’t bail you out twice; now go find something better to spend your time on.” Static nodded “Thank you Ma’am, I’m sorry for interrupting you’re evening.” Murphy just shrugged and walked off, good deed of the day done. Twilight had meanwhile lost Pinkie in the crowd; she was literally going to strangle the pink ball of fur with magic while holding her over an open fire! Pinkie looked down at Twilight from her spot on the ceiling before turning to her friend and saying. “Thanks Deadpool!” “Anytime Pinkie, so what did you do to make her want to kill you?” asked the merc with a mouth. “Oh she slept with one of our Princesses last time when she was really drunk, and I never told her.” Pinkie said with a small smile breaking through, Deadpool let out a laugh before he set her down on the ground. “Good luck my fellow fourth wall breaker!” he called as he crawled away across the ceiling using suction cups. Pinkie smiled, Twilight had once again gotten sidetracked so it was safe for her to move around. She headed back towards the doorway where she met a group of large bipedal turtles. “Pinkie we brought pizza Dude!” yelled Michelangelo as he swept her up in a one armed hug. “Awesome Mikey!” Pinkie responded while she looked at the rest of the Turtles, for some reason the rest didn’t look very happy. “What’s wrong guys, you look really depressed?” Pinkie asked in a worried tone. “Nothing Pinkie, except apparently some other dimension’s Turtles are going to be turned into aliens instead of mutants.” Leonardo told her shaking his head in disgust. “Well that seems really weird.” Pinkie replied “Guys what did we talk about earlier, we’re here to enjoy the party, we can mope about someone messing with our origin story later.” Donatello to his brothers “Yeah I’m ready to get drunk and forget this nonsense!” Raphael said before charging off towards the bar, the others followed but were much slower about it. Suddenly a orange portal appeared on the lawn in front of the house and a woman jumped out, she was of course holding a large chocolate cake. “Thanks Chell.” Pinkie said as the woman drew closer. “You’re welcome Pinkie” Chell replied before moving past her and into the house. Suddenly the house went silent causing Pinkie to turn around in surprise, to her relief it was just the band stepping on stage. As the songs began Pinkie turned back to the door to see if there were any others arriving at the moment but didn’t see any so she left it to Haskill. Twilight was on her tenth drink of cider and was starting to feel the effects, nothing major yet but she was slightly wobbly. “Hi I’m Ang, you must be Kora.” She heard a bold man say to a teenage girl. “Wow, you don’t expect to meet your past life at a party.” The girl said in surprise, Twilight moved on before she could here anymore. She was stopped by an unusually odd sight, even for this party. Walking away from the buffet table was a ten year old wearing a pink hat; floating above his head were two short adults. “Cosmo I really don’t think that we should let Timmy be here, look at all of the alcohol!” said the floating woman. “Relax Wanda, I’m not going to have any, I’ve been too much crazier parties then this.” Said the boy in the pink hat, “Now I wonder where Jimmy went, you’d think that I kid with that kind of hair would stand out even in this crowd?” before Twilight could hear any more of their conversation Twilight felt a tap on the shoulder. “Excuse me but I have to ask are you Twilight Sparkle?” Twilight turned around to find a well dressed teenage boy talking to her, his voice was cultured and but strangely not spoiled sounding. “Yes, I’m Twilight, who’re you?” Twilight asked politely “My name’s Artemis Fowl, and I was wondering if you could by any chance explain to me the magic involved in getting to this house?” Artemis asked her with equal politeness. “Sorry but Pinkie hasn’t taken the opportunity to explain it to me.” Twilight replied. “Oh well there goes that scheme, thank you for your time.” The boy walked off leaving Twilight confused. She checked the main clock and realized that somehow twenty minutes had passed and it was time for another drink. As she approached the bar she noticed two men in scrubs sitting at the bar. “Lucy would you please explain why we’re here again?” the older one asked the younger one. “Because Turk and Carla are busy, Jordan took your sons to visit your mother, and Elliot is with her father, now would you please enjoy the party?” Twilight was perplexed, or maybe it was the cider. “Is your name really Lucy?” she asked the younger man. “No that’s just how he deals with people who he actually cares about.” The younger man Replied without turning around. “Oh I see.” Twilight said as she wandered down the bar to get another drink. “There you are Twilight, are you ready to go yet?” Luna asked from behind Twilight almost making her drop her glass of cider in surprise. “Luna I don’t want to insult you or anything but I don’t remember going home with you last time, not that I’m sure it wasn’t amazing but I don’t know if I want to get involved with somepony right now.” Twilight told her with a note of regret entering her voice. Luna looked down at her piteously and said. “Twilight what we had last time was amazing for both of us, but I guess if you want to crush my heart that’s up to you.” Her voice was full of intense sadness as she began to walk away, Twilight couldn’t stand it. “Luna come back, I guess I could give it a try.” Twilight told the Princess. “It fills my heart with joy that you would reconsider Twilight.” Luna said and together they walked out the door of the house after Twilight glared at Pinkie who just smiled. “Ma’am do you think that this will go well for Miss Sparkle?” Haskill asked Pinkie who nodded. “Twilight’s been looking for a special somepony for a long time, and Luna’s been alone much longer I’d say that they’re perfect for one another.” Pinkie told him happily before turning and saying “Now if you’ll excuse me I have a party to run!” Out of the corner of her eye Celestia observed all of it happily; her plan to set up the two ponies that she cared the most about had gone off without a hitch, now it was time to party!