“And zis... uhm...” Rainbow Dash lingered, adjusting and re-adjusting Photo Finish's shades on her muzzle. “Uhm...”
“Yes, hun?” Sapphire Shores asked, leaning forward with batting eyelashes. An eager crowd of breathless partygoers stood behind her. “We're all ears!”
“Er...” Rainbow glanced at one photo after another, depicting black and white lamps and toasters propped against each other in “lewd” positions. “...what the buck was she even smoking?”
“Huh?”
“Er... I-I mean...” Rainbow spun with a bright grin. “I, Photo Finish, call it 'Ze Brimstone and Ze Smokink!'” She pointed at an egg slicer rubbing up against an unplugged heat lamp. “For it is vhere zese sinful appliances are headink! Just like...” She waved her hoof... waved it again... and eventually blurted: “Ze economy!”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...” the entire crowd murmured, nodding.
“How provocative,” a mare said.
“Positively stimulating,” a stallion added. “And an artistic forewarning.”
“Yes...” Filthy Rich shivered slightly where he stood, his eyes wandering to the windows and exits of the place. “Quite...”
Rainbow took a moment to glance at Don Canter's henchstallions. A pony or two could be seen glancing at his gold watch. Hooves tapped impatiently while a glaring eye or two darted her way.
“Darn it...” Rainbow hissed to herself. “...this is taking too long. Where's Lancie?”
“Yes yes yes... it's all sooooo fabulous,” Suri said, shuffling up with a bored look to her eyes. “But surely none of these is the muzzle-dropping masterpiece that you've promised us all, Photo.”
“Oooh! Are we ready for the grand unveiling?” Sapphire asked with a little hop.
“Erm...” Rainbow fidgeted. “Nein... but...” She brightened. “I... I-I hafe ze plan of unfeilink already in motion! But first, meine little ponies, you simply must partake of zis feast zat meine katerers hafe prepared!”
“Hmmmmm...” Suri glanced at a melting clock hanging on the wall. “Awfully late in the evening for party favors, don't you think?”
“Hah hah hah hah!” Rainbow slinked a forelimb around the mare's shoulder and hissed out the side of her plastically grinning muzzle. “Awfully late for a chainsaw hysterectomy too, ja?”
Suri's pupils shrank to pinpricks. “Buh?”
“Well, I could certainly spoil myself a bit!” Sapphire Shores said, rubbing her hooves together. “Point me in the right direction!”
“Over this way, madame,” Filthy Rich said, pointing.
“Ow! Oh, how I love the arrangement!” Sapphire winked aside at several ponies as she trotted briskly along with the crowd. “Could somepony have spiked the punch already? Hooves crossed, amiright? Hahahaha! Hey! Yearling! You little doll! Come here and share these danishes with me! You're skinnier than a snake in a chicken coup!”
Rainbow Dash exhaled with relief. “Good,” she said under her breath. “That should buy me some time.”
“Buy you some what?” Suri remarked.
“Ach! Vhat a klumsy fraulein you are!”
“Huh—WHOAH!” Suri yelped as she was suddenly thrown off her hooves.
“Did you not see zat shlippery puddle on ze floor?” Rainbow shook her head. “Tch tch tch... vhat is zis city komink to?” She trotted away with a “happy” flounce. “Don't vorry about your dress! I'll send meine serfant... uhm... Gruber to help klean you up!”
“But... b-but...”
“Just vait right zere and do not move an inch! Ja! Zat's a good fraulein!”
“Grrrrrrrrrrr...” Suri frowned, drowning in her skirts like the burning stem to a melting silk flower.
“Suri!” Coco rushed over, reaching over to help the mare up. “How'd you fall?! Here, allow me!”
“Rghhh!” Suri threw the assistant's hooves off. “I can get up on my own, Chichi!” She stumbled to her hooves and fussed with straightening her gown out. “What I really need help with is figuring out what's gotten Photo Finish turned inside out!”
“Huh?” Coco blinked. “What do you mean?”
“For the past half-hour, she's been a frenzied, stumbling, unpredictable basketcase!”
“Erm... excuse me for saying so, Suri, but...” Coco gulped. “Isn't that normal?”
“Something doesn't smell right,” Suri grumbled.
“I did suggest lavender over eucalyptus—”
“Not that you idiot!” Suri growled, staring daggers across the party. “There's something wrong with our target, and I'm willing to bet a certain rainbow is responsible for it.”
“But... uhm... there hasn't been a parade in downtown for months.”
“Just shut up and go fetch my bag,” Suri said, straightening her mane as she grinned like a demon. “Time for Phase Two. If Celestia is my witness, I shall never get snubbed again!”
“Do you want me to fetch your toiletries too, then?”
“GRAAAUGHL-GO!”
“Eeeeep!” Coco pitter-pattered away.