Finally getting to the picnic table that the ponies had set up for their picnic, Josh was twitching and moaning from having to carry and play with all the bouncing and giggling fillies that had been following him ever so closely. They didn’t weigh much at all, but playing with all of them did take its toll on him, especially since he was very skinny and not that powerful. Regardless, when Josh got to the table, he noticed a little space open on the far left end. Since no one seemed to be object, the boy muttered to himself and nimbly sat down at the edge of the picnic table.
“Okay…I’m sitting at a picnic table…with a bunch of colorful, animated ponies…yep, seems normal enough,” Josh whispered to himself, trying not to draw too much attention to himself as he observed the other ponies who were sitting and talking at the table.
There was Twilight and Applejack, both of whom were talking about something involving magic and apples while they both snacked on, yep, apple pie. There was also the pink and cheerful pony that Josh had seen before, and who had given him an instant migraine just from her creepy smile and her insanity. He noticed a yellow pony with a pink mane and tail who was meekly speaking to a loud and brash blue pony with wings on her sides and what seemed to be a tattoo of a rainbow lightning bolt on her flank. There was also a pretty white pony with an interesting style of hair and tail that Josh found to be quite beautiful. However, he couldn’t help but ogle the rainbow-colored pony instead.
“Uh…she has rainbow-colored hair…and a rainbow-colored tail,” Josh blinked, staring at the pony and looking a bit confused, “Is she a lesbian or something?”
“Huh? Oh…you’re that…uh…person that fell from the sky,” the pony said, turning around and catching Josh eying her, “What are you looking at? I know I’m cool, but is there something on my face?”
“No, nothing really, I just…uh…you’re really cute?” Josh said, before slapping his forehead and looking away, “I’m telling a cartoon pony that she’s cute…am I for real?”
“What…wait, did you…what?” the pony with wings blinked, not really sure what she was hearing, “Uh, Twilight, who’s this guy again?”
“That’s Josh…a human, remember?” Twilight said, turning back and looking at the pony, “Seriously, Rainbow, I just told you how he got here, like, two minutes ago!”
“I know…I just wasn’t really paying attention,” the pony that was apparently called Rainbow laughed.
“Rainbow? That’s her name? Wow…how original,” Josh muttered, about to reach for something on the table, but then thinking better of it and retracting his arm. He still felt somewhat insecure and a bit nervous about touching things that ponies had prepared. Who knows how dirty they were? And who knows if this food was really that safe for a human to eat?
“Joshy boy, what’s wrong?” Applejack asked, looking over at the human and noticing that he was trying not to draw attention to himself and wasn’t touching anything, “Ya don’t have to feel nervous; there’s plenty for ya’ll to snack on.”
“Yes, I can see that, but…um…shouldn’t I introduce myself to the rest of your friends before I partake in anything that you ponies have so gracefully brought today?” Josh grinned, trying to sound suave.
“Is this guy for real?” Rainbow asked, glancing over at Josh and frowning slightly, “He’s kinda…weird.”
“So is colorful talking ponies from where I come from,” Josh spat back, glaring at Rainbow and crossing his arms, “Your move, toots.”
“TOOTS?!?!” Rainbow gasped, stretching her wings and growling, “Oh, it is ON!” Thinking that he was in for a fight, Josh immediately felt nervous and a bit scared. He wasn’t scare of the fact that a little pony with wings and an attitude was mad at him; it was the fact that he would never hit a girl. So, since he would refuse to fight a female, he would be clearly in huge trouble.
“Whoa, wait, I didn’t mean it in a bad…GAH!” Josh yelped, having tried to back up and ended up sprawling backwards off the picnic table and crashing down hard on his backside. The ponies all paused for a moment as they took in what just happened, then they all exploded into laughter.
“Oh…Celestia…that was hilarious!” Rainbow laughed, slapping her hoof down over and over again onto the table as she watched Josh weakly try to sit up.
“Um…he’s okay, right?” the giggling yellow pony said, trying to show concern despite having a good little laugh herself.
“Don’t worry…he crashed down from somewhere up in the sky…I’m sure he’s just fine,” Twilight said, calling over to the human, “Hey, Josh, you’re alright…right?”
“Just peachy, Twilight,” Josh said sarcastically, standing up and cracking his back, “The pain in my back is just an aberration and is sure to go away rather quickly; I’m a fast healer. But YOU…you’re gonna PAY for humiliating me!” Josh angrily pointed at the picnic table seat that he just fell off of.
“Uh…dude…you’re yelling at a picnic table,” Rainbow chuckled, smirking at Josh and now finding him highly amusing.
“Yes…I’m pretty sure that the table isn’t going to say that it’s sorry,” Twilight agreed.
“Well, maybe it will, but you just have to listen hard enough!” the pink pony shouted out, giggling and placing her ear on top of a part of the table from where she was sitting, “Hmm…no, it seems like the table is pretty clammed up from speaking an apology.”
“Well, in that case, it gets THIS!” Josh roared, rearing back his right foot and delivering a hard kick straight into the picnic table seat. Sadly, the wood that it was built out of was actually quite strong, and as soon as Josh’s foot made contact, he yelled out in pain and started bouncing around on one foot while clutching his now-sore foot with both hands. This got the six ponies at the table laughing again.
“Oh, darling, you are quite an interesting creature indeed!” the pretty white pony giggled, putting a hoof over her mouth in a dainty way as she laughed. However, the fun was still not over, as Josh then ended up slipping on a rock and falling down flat on his face on the grass. Naturally, this once more got an eruption of laughter from the six ponies. Soon, they were almost falling out of their seats themselves.
“Hey…dude…you alright?” Rainbow grinned, flapping her wings and flying over to the downed human. She hovered over the top of his head for a moment while he just twiddled his fingers over the ground in an irritated way. After a minute, he lifted his head slightly just so he could speak.
“No…something is seriously hurt on me…and it’s called my pride,” Josh grumbled, resulting in even more laughs from the ponies. It seemed that no matter what he did, he could make the girls all laugh. He was honestly used to this, since he had been making folks laugh ever since he had been in kindergarten. Still, it didn’t make it any more enjoyable being laughed at by ponies than humans, especially girl ponies.
“Need any help, Joshy boy?” Applejack called out, ready to get up and help the boy, should he need it.
“No, I’m sure that I’ll find my pride and dignity soon enough…they don’t usually leave me for long,” Josh muttered, resulting in more snickers and giggles from the ponies as he weakly sat upon his rump and glared down at the rock that he had slipped on. Now, not only did his back hurt, but so did his right foot and his dignity. Being humiliated in front of a bunch of ponies was not all it was cracked up to be.
“Hey, klutzy, are you gonna fall again, or do you plan on sitting still and not moving the rest of your life?” Spike grinned, walking over and carrying an armload of apples, since Applejack had sent him to go get some more.
“Oh, goody, not only do I have the ladies laughing at me, but now the little dragon is having his fun, too,” Josh said sarcastically, getting back to his feet and putting his hands on his hips, “Well, let me make one thing perfectly clear. I am not one to mock or be laughed at, since…from my world…I’m the ruler! That’s right, the ruler, and if you cross me…you’ll be crossing royalty!”
“Wait a minute…you’re the RULER of your world?” Twilight gasps, the smile on her face instantly vanishing, “So…does that make you a king or something?”
“Uh…yes, that’s right! I’m King Josh Schwartz, better known as King Joshua, but I prefer just Josh,” the human grinned, loving how his lie was instantly being bought by the ponies, “You’d better be nice to me and not laugh, since King Joshua does not like being mocked.”
“Ah thought ya said that ya just prefer ‘King Josh’ and not Joshua,” Applejack said, raising an eyebrow and instantly looking suspicious. Josh glanced at the cowgirl pony and blinked a bit. There was something about her that he couldn’t quite understand. It almost looked like she was somehow seeing right through his lie, even though the other five were looking very nervous about being in the presence of royalty and thus were feeling bad about mocking him. There was something about the way Applejack was looking at him that made him nervous.
“Well, yes…but, well, I was just saying ‘King Joshua’ because it’s my REAL title, even if it’s not the one I go by,” Josh explained, smiling and trying to regain his composure. He was a great actor, after all.
“Please excuse our rudeness then, King Josh,” Twilight said, bowing her head to the human, “We didn’t know that you were the ruler of your world and we are truly sorry for our actions.” Before Josh could continue with his act and start acting like a king, Applejack spoke up again.
“If yer a king, let’s see some proof,” she stated, narrowing her eyes as it seemed she was staring right into Josh’s soul, “Our ruler, Princess Celestia, always wears a crown and she can easily prove who she is. What about you, huh?”
“Applejack, bite your tongue!” the white pony scolded, “How can you speak against royalty like that? Do you have NO manners whatsoever?”
“Ah just want him to prove he is who he says he is,” Applejack said honestly, “He might just be makin’ this all up so we feel sorry for him.”
“That sounds fair to me,” the yellow pony said meekly, turning to look at Josh, “Um…please, forgive us for asking, but…can you prove you are who you say you are?”
“Ooh, maybe he has some cool powers that he hasn’t shown to us!” the pink pony grinned excitedly, “Can you make it rain chocolate milk? I so love chocolate milk!”
“Uh…” Josh gulped, trying to think away out of this without being humiliated again. All six of the ponies were watching him, including Spike, who hadn’t left the area and was also curious. Nervously, Josh put a hand down into the pockets of his shorts to try and find something that would help. He felt a dime in his pocket, and thought up a quick idea. With a little grin, he looked over at Spike, who immediately looked uncomfortable with the human’s expression.
“What are you planning on doing to me now?” the dragon asked, trying to back away.
“Oh, nothing…it’s just that…I think I see something coming out of your ear,” Josh stated, narrowing his eyes and peering closely at the dragon.
“Huh, my ears? Where?” Spike gasped, reaching up and pulling at both of his ears and manipulating them into many different ways, “I don’t feel anything.”
“Well…then what’s…THIS!” Josh gasped, reaching behind Spike’s left ear and seemingly pulling the dime out. Spike instantly blinked and widened his eyes in confusion as he looked at the small piece of money. Twilight looked mystified by this, Rainbow looked amazed, the white pony looked confused, the pink pony was clopping her front hooves together, the yellow pony was tilting her head curiously, but Applejack’s expression from before didn’t change.
“Uh…and what exactly did THAT prove?” the cowgirl asked, narrowing her eyes even more.
“It’s magic, of course!” Josh said, flicking the dime up and down with his fingers, “I pulled this coin right out of Spike’s ear! I can do magic, which is…uh…incredibly rare in our world. Only a ruler like myself can use it. So, there’s your proof.”
“Uh-huh…well, surely that’s not ALL the magic ya can do, right?” Applejack asked, casually crossing her front legs and raising an eyebrow, “Surely ya’ll can do more, bein’ the ruler and everything.”
Josh paused and just stared at Applejack. Reaching into his pockets, all he felt was some cat food he had picked up off his cat’s floor from back home, a pencil, and a Crunch candy bar. There was seriously nothing else he could do. All six of the ponies, and Spike, were now back to watching him very closely. Josh could tell that they were starting to get very suspicious of his claims. It wasn’t long before Josh finally snapped.
“CURSE YOU, APPLEJACK!” he screamed, pointing an accusing finger at the pony, “HOW DARE YOU SEE THROUGH MY ACTING! I’M A FLAWLESS ACTOR BACK HOME, BUT YOU SAW RIGHT THROUGH IT FROM THE VERY START, DIDN’T YOU? YOU ROTTEN LITTLE PONY!”
“Ah knew it, ah knew it, ah knew it!” Applejack grinned, going back to her happy face, “Girls, he’s a fraud! He ain’t no ruler; there probably isn’t a ruler in his world at all!”
“Wow, AJ, you saw right through him!” Rainbow laughed, slapping her a high-five…or rather a high-hoof, “Way to go; no one can lie to you.”
“Don’t feel too ashamed, Josh,” Twilight snickered, “You see, Applejack possesses the element of honesty, so you can’t lie to her.”
“The element of honesty?” Josh blinked, scratching his head in confusion, “What the heck is that?”
“Uh…well…each of us possesses a different element,” Twilight explained, “I have the element of magic, Rarity has the element of generosity, Pinkie has the element of laughter, Fluttershy has the element of kindness, Rainbow Dash has the element of loyalty, and Applejack has the element of honesty. Together, the six of us are best friends and we form the elements of harmony.”
“That would be correct, darling,” the pony named Rarity said with a smile.
“Yep, so very true!” the pony named Pinkie, which was such another original name, giggled.
“Wait…WHAT?” Josh groaned, slapping his forehead and looking highly irritated, “What the HECK are you talking about? Those aren’t elements…those are personality traits! Elements are like hydrogen, helium, lithium, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, plutonium…don’t quote me on that last one, since it might not be an element, but I just really like saying the name…plutonium…it sounds so cool.”
“Uh…what the heck are YOU talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking completely confused along with the rest of her friends, “I didn’t understand a single thing you just said!”
“Someone didn’t go to school long enough then,” Josh frowned, which instantly caused the ponies all to frown when Rainbow Dash looked a bit hurt, “Hey, don’t get mad at me! It’s not my fault you’re all so stupid and don’t know the difference between elements and simple character personalities.”
“Don’t you insult Rarity!” Spike snapped, poking Josh in the kneecap again with one of his claws.
“Josh, listen to me,” Twilight said coolly, hopping off the picnic table and trotting up to the human, who was busy wincing in pain from Spike’s sharp poking, “I can’t say for sure, but I’m guessing that…in your world…those things would be…natural elements. Here, the types of elements that we ponies share are the elements of harmony…and friendship. It’s what makes us who we are…it makes us unique.”
“Unique? But it makes no sense whatsoever!” Josh protested, “I mean, I personally possess ALL of those so-called ‘elements’ of yours. I’m always making people laugh, I’m usually very generous with my things, I’m always loyal to those close to my heart, I’m usually very kindhearted to those who deserve it, and…well, I’m usually very honest.”
“Uh-huh…right…so, what was that little story ya’ll just told us a while back?” Applejack scoffed.
“It was a little white lie to try and get you to stop laughing at me!” Josh whined, “It was mainly just a joke, though…you didn’t have to be so mean about it.”
“Just like you being mean to us by calling us stupid?” Rainbow Dash snapped, glaring at Josh. With a sigh, the human realized that he had once again made himself look like a total jerk. But, it was just his own personality; he was who he was. He couldn’t just force himself to change. When he had an opinion or something on his mind, he’d say it. Whether others would get hurt by what he said or not, he didn’t care. That’s how he had always lived his life.
“And…what about magic?” Twilight asked, staring up at Josh.
“And we don’t mean that pathetic little coin trick, either,” Rarity added.
“Magic? Uh…well…I don’t think I have any REAL magic in me,” Josh admitted, “I’m not a magical pony like you, so…I suppose you DO possess one thing that I don’t have.”
“You don’t think there’s magic inside of you?” Fluttershy said, tilting her head and looking a bit sad.
“No, I KNOW there isn’t…magic doesn’t exist in my world…at least not YOUR kind of magic,” Josh said.
“Not even…the magic of friendship?” Pinkie said, blinking her eyes a few times and tilting her head as well. All six ponies looked closely at Josh, waiting for an answer. The human rolled his eyes and shook his head. The magic of friendship? Seriously, these ponies should be talking to a wall, or maybe a group of toddlers. This was seriously ridiculous and stupid; he’d rather talk to his father, and he hated his father. But, at least his father was smart, unlike these stupid ponies.
“There’s no such thing as the magic of friendship,” Josh shrugged, “On my world, if you want to make a friend, you just go out and talk to someone and, voila, you’ve made a friend. Wow, really magical.”
“Josh…I think we might have a thing or two to teach you here,” Twilight said softly, shaking her head and looking up at the human some more, “While you’re here, I hope you allow us to try and teach you the ways of our world.”
“Oh, joy…I’m gonna have some pretty little horses taking me to school…I feel SO excited!” Josh mocked, walking over and kicking the same rock that he had slipped on earlier. The rock ended up sailing straight into a nearby tree, bouncing off it, and striking Josh right in the gut. As the human yelped in pain and fell to the ground, clutching his stomach and loudly cursing his luck, the six ponies all went back to laughing. Deep down, they knew they had a lot to teach this human while he was on their world.