//------------------------------//
// Dear my Someday 
// Story: Dear my Never 
// by Archangel of the Silent 
//------------------------------//

	Of the three beings in the room, Twilight Sparkle was probably the most level-headed. Which was saying something, considering what was sure to be the trauma she just went through. However, she didn't let anything show. While Spike stood at the base of the bed, arms out and claws open in the standard "what in Tartarus" pose, she kept her calm. While Discord munched on his popcorn wearing his 3D glasses, she simply sat on her bed, engaging in simple breathing exercises. And while her letter waited to be adressed lay before her, she paid the chaos no mind. She was at peace. She was calm and collected.

"Well, this is boring!" Discord said, not quite shouting but certainly with some oomph in his voice, as he threw his bucket of popcorn on the floor, the buttery yellow-white balls of fluffy goodness crashing onto the floor around the impact site. Spike quickly shot him a death-like glare. "What?" the god asked. "It is!"

"But you don't say that, idiot!" Spike shouted back. "This is obviously the first time she's gotten a love letter. She doesn't know how she's supposed to act!"

Twilight wasn't really listening to her brother argue with the God of Chaos, as such efforts would prove futile anyways. Unfortunately, there were only three things to pay attention to in her bedchambers: a pointless argument, a textbook on ancient Equestrian history, and a love letter. The love letter was, of course, out of the question. At least until she had a stiff drink, preferably not in front of Spike. The argument was also unavailable. That is, if she valued her sanity. Of course, she was going to lose her sanity eventually anyways from not doing anything. That left her textbook. Part of her thought that maybe the Alicorn of Love knew about this and had provided her an easy way out just in case.

Fate, however, hated Twilight Sparkle. As she looked down to grab her book, she noticed something strange about the front cover- a single piece of white parchment paper, neatly folded in thirds, defiling its good name. Somehow, by a stroke of bad luck or the sheer power of her own ignorance, she'd placed her worst enemy atop her best friend. 

"I was the one who reminded her about it. I'm well within my rights to stay for the show."

"There is no 'show'! She obviously didn't want you here in the first place, let alone does she want you here now!"

Her eyes twitched; her ears dropped down. She felt a heat rising in her stomach as her wings took on a mind of their, fluttering aimlessly about. Her hooves became restless, unable to sit still for more than a half a second before fidgeting again. The desire to yell at the Night itself grew more and more until it couldn't be held any longer. 

"And how would you know what she wants, Spike? You aren't even a pony, let alone Twilight Sparkle. You couldn't possibly know what she's thinking." Spike lunged at the god, unsure of his intention but doing so nevertheless. His claws whipped themselves out, ready for the kill. 

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Both of the offending parties were completely stopped in their tracks, less by their own will and more by the constrictive force of Twilight's magic. Spike, perched precariously above the ground, was the first to give his questioning look to his sister. Discord soon followed suit, and any minute now, the Guard was going to come bursting through the door and ask what was going on. All of this, Twilight knew. All of this, Twilight didn't particularly care about. She gently sat Spike down on the ground, then released her friend. The grabbed the book and the letter, then sat them carefully down upon her bedside table. She brought a hoof to her chest, releasing her built up breath as she extended her leg into the open air. 

Without turning around, she said to the room, "I think you should leave, Discord," her cold voice piercing the night air like no other. The draconequus shrugged and quickly teleported away. With that afterthought taken care of, the alicorn was finally free to do as she wished. And right then, what she wished was simply falling down, face first, onto her bed and muttering to herself. "I hate my life," she told the pillow. It was far to garbled for anyone else to hear it, anyways.

She became vaguely aware of a set of claws resting upon her foreleg, but didn't pay it much mind. "Are you alright, Twi?"

Spike. Spike had always been there when she was feeling down. Why hadn't she noticed that earlier? He was so faithful. Well, except that one time he tried to pay back Applejack by selling himself into an unwanted slavery, but what was a mare to do? Twilight grabbed the letter in her magic, having memorized its exact location the instant she put it there, and displayed it in front of the young dragon's face. "I don't suppose you know who it's from, do you?" she asked, only looking up enough to make sure the words were clear. 

The young one reached out and grabbed the letter in his claws. This was the first time he'd really looked at the letter, having only briefly skimmed over it before handing it off to Twilight. He studied it carefully, noting the flawless writing, likely written by magic rather than hoof or mouth. The letters never ended, save for when the word did. Cursive, Twilight had called it. The loops to the words and letters flowed perfectly, almost like they were somehow written in cadance. It was probably the most beautiful writing he'd ever seen.

In that moment, young Spike supposed it was a good thing Twilight had been so strict on never letting him swear, for if he hadn't had that discipline, he so would have blown his cover right then. Still, the word shit flew through his mind more than once before he finally swallowed and replied. "Can't say I do, Twi."

What was that? he thought silently to himself. Did I actually just lie to Twilight? No, I can't lie to Twilight! Spike could almost feel  Owliscious's stare carving into the back of his skull with that thought, remembering more than clearly the "number one assistant" incident. Ok, I've proven I can lie to her, but I don't do that anymore!

The dragon was so caught up in his thoughts that he couldn't hear Twilight sigh next to him. He did, however, manage to catch what she said to him. "I figured."

Well, there was no way out of this now. Twilight would be furious when she found out, but he couldn't tell her. He just couldn't. "Well, hey. You've got all day tomorrow to figure out who sent it."

Twilight couldn't help but to laugh at the drake's innocence. "I guess you're right." She knew, of course, that this would likely take much longer than a single day to figure out. "We should probably both get some rest," the pony added, noting the clock at way past his bedtime. "Good night, Spike."

"Yeah," Spike replied, an unpercepted nervousness leaking into his voice. "Good night, Twilight." Both were soon fast into restless, dreamless sleep, haunted by the day to come.


Of course Twilight felt bad about leaving Spike so early in the morning without any kind of warning or instructions on where to find her. But she felt confident that he could take care of himself at seventeen, and if he were to try to get into any trouble while she was gone, it was a relative certainty that the guards or staff would take care of things. She hoped. 

And so, with such afterthoughts taken care of, she'd made herself a modest breakfast- well, maybe made wasn't the right word, as it was little more than a bowl of cold cereal- and left as quietly as possible. The sun had barely risen into the sky that morning, so there were barely a few ponies out and about. Not that it would have helped if there were more, but Twilight nevertheless gave a friendly passing nod to Roseluck setting up her stand and Bon-bon opening her own candy shop on her way to... somewhere she didn't quite know yet. 

Suddenly, Twilight froze in place. She had left her castle to find the pony who'd written this letter, but only just now realized that she had no idea how to go about doing that. Hey, I got this strange love letter yesterday, I was wondering if you wrote it? That was sure to rack up some pretty strange looks. Street interviews were out of the question. So, she needed a way to gather that information from one source who wouldn't look at her funny. Somepony who knew everypony. Somepony like Pinkie, she thought. Fortunately, Princess Twilight had learned how to handle herself with enough pride to not facehoof on the street. 

She rounded a coming corner and found herself face-to-door with Sugarcube Corner, the pink mare's place of business and where one could find her ninety-some percent of the time. The sign on said door read "closed", but Twilight knew this wasn't the case. Pinkie rarely actually slept, and was undoubtedly in the shop's kitchen preparing the early morning confections for the coming patrons. When she checked, the alicorn promptly found the door unlocked and pushed her way inside. Overhead, a small bell above the door announced her arrival. "I'll be right out," she heard her friend call from behind the counter.

Twilight took a seat at one of the booths inside and closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind and prepare what she was going to say. She simply sat there, deep in thought, for about a minute when she was suddenly alerted to somepony else's presence. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked over her left shoulder, only mildly surprised to find Pinkie Pie already seated there- she was, after all, quiet as a ninja when she wanted to be. More questionable was the black balaclava she wore, as though trying to complete that thought. 

Pinkie quickly caught on to why her royal friend was looking at her so funny and removed the headpiece, placing it somewhere in her mane, never to be scene or heard from again, likely killed during the Syrian civil war that perpetually raged there. "Hey, Twilight," she began, stretching out the alicorn's name in her characteristic way. "What'cha doin'?" 

Twilight quickly dismissed the sudden disappearance of the article as "Pinkie being Pinkie... somehow" and gathered her bearings. "Pinkie," she started to reply, still left wondering how she was going to go about this. "You know everypony in Ponyville, correct?"

The earth pony took no time responding, as there was nothing to think about in the answer. "You bet'cha!"

Suddenly, there was a nicely folded slip of paper that she didn't quite recognize placed directly in front of her on the table, a violet hoof pushing it over gently. It's owner didn't take her eyes off the air in front of her, however, as she asked her next question. "I don't suppose you know who this is from?"

Pinkie cautiously picked up the letter, hesitating to open it at first. After all, she'd played more than enough pranks like this to know that it was going to explode at any second. However, when the crease finally began to move at her gentle teasing, she dismissed such irrational thought and simply flipped it open along it's top crest. She cleared her throat and began, "Dear my Someday..."

Twilight was beyond thankful that Pinkie had not decided to read it aloud once again. She would still have to live through the pink mare's random shouting of specific lines, and her mumbling of others, but that was a sufferable evil, at least. 

"...Signed, Your's Truly," the earth pony finally finished. She paused, looked over at Twilight, then proceeded to freak out. "OH MY GOSH, TWILIGHT! THIS IS SOOOO ADORABLE!" Pinkie immediately found herself displaced from her seat, standing in the center of the room and rapidly bouncing up and down. Just as suddenly, she raced back to the booth and began looking it over once again. "I suppose I should just be happy that they finally got around to doing it," her voice quieted suddenly, drawing a mostly-confused and somewhat frustrated glare from Twilight. "But it would have been so much simpler to just tell you!"

The princess snapped. "So you do know who it's from!" She wasn't angry, at least not as angry as she should have been at her friend for not just answering the question. Rather, the exclamation bore more the tone of revelation that was bordering on surprised, but not quite. 

In response, Pinkie simply gave her a rather deadpan look. "Of course I do, silly!"

The violet pony's glare never broke. "I'm waiting."

When she heard those words, the other mare began to sweat profusely. A nervous grin appeared on her face, her eyes darting back and forth rapidly. Seeing this, Twilight decided to lay on the pressure a bit. While they were both still seated, She pressed forward close to her friend, looking her in the eyes with their muzzles almost touching. So close, in fact, that either one could feel the heat radiating off the other. "Could we... could we maybe..." Pinkie stuttered out. Though she wouldn't have much time to do so, Twilight looked back and realized that she didn't think she'd ever heard Pinkie stutter. So, she was doing something right. 

The wild-maned mare swallowed her breath loudly before trying again. "Could we go back to how I know? That would be nice..." That last line was very uncharacteristic of Pinkie, and may have easily been mistaken for Fluttershy if she didn't bear such an unforgettable pallet. 

"Fine. How?"

In hindsight, humoring Pinkie was probably a bad idea. In fact, looking back on it, humoring Pinkie was a very, very bad idea. At the time, however, Twilight simply didn't care. All she wanted was an answer, really. She should have wanted a more specific answer, for the one she got was nowhere close to the one she desired. "Let's just call it my Pinkie Sense so the author doesn't force me to justify knowing!" the mare exclaimed with such speed it surprised even her friend who had the last four years to learn how to deal with it. 

"Sorry, Twilight! Pinkie Promise!" Just as suddenly, Pinkie was gone. Looking around, so was the booth. And the entire interior of Sugarcube Corner. Twilight cautiously looked behind her to find that she was placed outside of the confectionary. She gave a very unprincess-like, very angry groan before shaking her head slowly. She simply couldn't stay angry at one of her greatest friends. Even if she could, she would be able to understand; Pinkie Promises were matters of life-or-death, and Twilight would hate to fall on the wrong side of that coin. 

She took a deep, calming breath and thought. She thought hard, though her mind that day wasn't what it used to be. After all, she'd gone to Pinkie Pie to get a straight answer to a simple question and hadn't seen that coming. Straight answer... the words lingered in her mind, stronger than the others. She needed a straight answer. Who did she know that would give her a straight answer? Applejack! Applejack would tell her. With that in mind, she stood and began trotting towards Sweet Apple Acres, her numbed brain unable to answer the question of why she thought Applejack might know. 


Twilight had never really stopped to think about it, but Sweet Apple Acres was a really big place. During one of her more lucid moments walking down the dirt road to the farm proper, she'd figured there must have been millions of apple trees. Admittedly, a more objective part of her mind told her that was ridiculous, but she liked the notion nevertheless. She knew that when she reached the farm, she'd need to ask somepony where her friend was in the fields, but that was of little concern. Somepony would be around- it was a pretty big family. 

However, that need never came, as when she was approximately three fourths of the way to the farmhouse, she caught sight of a orange coated mare carefully arranging several buckets around the base of one of the trees. When they were all in place, Applejack turned away from her quarry and brought her hind legs up into the bucking position before looking over her shoulder and catching sight of a violet alicorn coming her way. "Well, howdy, Twilight," the earth pony called out, letting her legs fall back to the ground. The other gave no quarter, continuing to approach with frightening speed. When Twilight was only a few meters away, Applejack finally spoke again. "What's going on?" 

Her last word was somewhat distorted by an interruption on the part of her friend and a letter-sized piece of paper being shoved in her face, held tightly by Twilight's magic. "Who is it from?"

Twilight had Applejack right where she wanted her. Applejack was, after all, the physical embodiment of integrity, and her Harmony magics would prevent her from telling a lie. That was the plan, anyways. However, as she was coming to believe, fate hated Twilight Sparkle. 

The orange pony quickly pushed the letter out of her face, rather surprised by her friend's use of brute force to achieve such a goal. She knew Twi could pack a wallop, of course, but never would have expected it in this kind of situation. Twilight slowly pulled back the paper to a more appropriate distance, but never dropped neither it nor her glare. "Who is it from?" she repeated, this time with a bit more force to her voice. 

It was obvious enough that Twilight wasn't going to let this go. When she felt she needed to be, she could be just as stubborn as Applejack. Seeing that said stubbornness wasn't going to give way, the earth pony gave in. Sighing louder than necessary, she leaned in closer and began to read the note. She finished after about a minute, and broke into a mild sweat. Her eyes darted around, and she began to rub the back of her neck with a forehoof. "Uhh... Sorry, Twilight," the farmpony began, dashing over to the tree she was supposed to have bucked earlier. "Ah've got work to do!"

That stubbornness had gotten Twilight into a lot of trouble over the years. Something's gotta give, ponies said, and too often, she had fallen on the wrong side of that line. This time, Twilight was not going to give. She waited until her friend was finished with her buck, not wanting to somehow be caught behind, and teleported so that she was directly in front of Applejack, in the same position she had been in with Pinkie earlier that day. "Who. Is. It. From. Applejack?" Twilight put a small smile on her face and blinked twice, as though trying to signal that nothing bad would happen to the other mare if she just answered the question. 

When she opened her eyes that second time, however, she was startled by the lack of blond-maned pony there. "Really?" she screamed into the orchard, making a mental note to talk to Pinkie about teaching other ponies how to do this kind of crazy stuff. She whipped around to see Applejack dashing down the dirt path, running faster than Twilight had ever seen her run- her velocity could have easily rivaled Rainbow Dash's land speed. There would be no catching her like that- the trained farmpony could easily run three times as fast as the princess. There was, however, one advantage the alicorn had over the fleeing mare. 

When frustrated or threatened, Twilight could fly. Twilight could fly very, very fast. After the thought, the royal spread her wings wide and used them to push off the ground. When she was confident she could maintain her balance in the air, she raced off after her friend, easily closing the distance. When she reached the other mare, she put her forelegs in front of her, and at the contact, brought Applejack to the ground. The farmpony almost escaped, though Twilight's reflexes were slightly quicker. She stood atop the earth pony, using her forelegs to pin her prisoner to the ground. "I asked you a question, Applejack," Twilight began again, satisfied that the pony in question wasn't going anywhere. "Who is it--"

"Shucks, Twi! What makes ya think Ah know?" 

Twilight recoiled back, the knife that was Applejack's logic coming dangerously close to piercing the armor of her own frustration. What had convinced her that Applejack would know? "When I asked you the first time, you broke into a sweat, lost the  ability to keep eye contact, and started rubbing the back of your neck like you always do when you're nervous." She leaned in closer to her captive's ear for dramatic effect. "And you ran away." Throughout the entire explanation, Twilight could feel her grip on her friend loosening. Try as she might to convince herself of her own words, she knew them to be false. None of those things would've happened if she hadn't come here in the first place. 

The orange mare let out a heavy sigh. "Twilight, do you remember that time Ah ran away to Dodge Junction?" She looked up at her captor, and noticed that she was nodding in response. After all, it was a rather traumatizing experience for the both of them, and not something either was likely to forget anytime soon. "Well, you see, Ah came mighty close to dyin' for breakin' a Pinkie Promise that day..."

In the moment of confusion that followed, Applejack made her move. Feeling Twilight's grip loosen up for the last time, she quickly thrust her flank into the air with a speed and strength that could have only been honed by years of exercises like applebucking. Just like earlier, Twilight went flying, though this time it was less of her own accord. Applejack stayed where she was until Twilight landed rather hard, having only had barely enough time to stabilize herself in the air before impact. "And Ah have no intention of repeating the experience."

With that, the farmpony was gone. Twilight briefly considered pursuing her, but decided against it. Applejack wasn't crazy; if this Pinkie Promise was important enough to have her most reliable friend concerned for her life, then it really was that serious. Then, something occurred to her. She sat there in the field, mulling it over. The first two ponies she'd gone and seen had been two of her best friends. Both of them had told her that the'd Pinkie Promised not to tell her who the letter was from. Could it be one of them?

Despite Rainbow Dash's conversion to books a few years ago, Twilight knew that she was out of the question. Dash didn't have the writing skills necessary to express something like that into written thought. Rarity, then? No, Rarity liked stallions. Again, that was a no-go. That left Fluttershy.

Leaving Fluttershy left a big problem. There was no way in Equus that she was going to be able to say no to that mare- she was too... fragile, Twilight figured. Sure, she'd made leaps and bounds since that fateful Summer Sun Celebration, but still. On the other hoof, she had no real desire to say yes. Between learning how to balance her friends and royal duties and learning how to perform such duties, she could pretty much guarantee that she wouldn't have time to really date anypony, let alone give a pony like Fluttershy the attention she deserved. On top of that, she'd always thought that romance was a waste of time. Well, maybe not a waste of time, per se- her parents loved each other, and without them she wouldn't even have ever existed, but such efforts were futile for her. 

She needed somepony to talk to about this. It would seem that once again, Rainbow Dash was out of the question. Sure, she may have been friends with Fluttershy since the two where just fillies, but Twilight had no desire to sit around for hours on end being laughed at. Nor did she wish such a fate upon the target of that conversation. Rarity, on the other hoof...

Rarity could help. She and Fluttershy were very close, with their weekly spa dates and whatnot. Surely, if anypony, she would know how to approach this situation. With that thought, Twilight stood and began walking off back into town with a surprising decline in the amount of vigor in her step.