//------------------------------// // Eventual Awards // Story: Sprockets in the North // by Lab //------------------------------// “I still say you should let me try to open it.” Finding six keys was too much effort when I could have probably torn that box open with a little bit of applied science—three weeks had passed without any progress on unlocking it. Also, I really wanted to see what was in the box, even if it was probably just another MacGuffin. “And I still say that even if you could open it, the contents might be damaged by your methods.” “Maybe I could pick the lock?” I asked, poking the box with a hoof. Encased in Twilight’s magic, the box floated away. It was good to see she wasn’t sending miscellaneous stuff into orbit anymore. “Have you ever picked a lock before?” “Loads of times, but I usually had a crowbar.” “I don’t think that’s how it works.” “I still got past the lock, didn’t I?” Twilight rolled her eyes and went back to going over her checklist, mumbling to herself as she checked off each item. “Spike, how much longer is she going to be?” I didn’t bother whispering—Twilight was back in the zone and wouldn’t notice anything quieter than an air-raid siren attached to a megaphone. “She’s almost done with the second ‘check the checklist,’ so just one more and we can get going. Want to hit up Donut Joe’s again while we’re there?” “As if you even needed to ask.” It’d been years since I’d eaten a fresh-from-the-fryer donut, so they’d practically needed to drag me out of the donut place after we’d stopped by after the Summer Sun Celebration. “Got everything you need?” “Yep.” Spike looked at me expectantly for a few moments before sighing. “Sometimes I almost forget what it’s like to not need a single checklist, let alone three.” “Not like I needed to bring much: thaumite, paper, writing stuff, leg, and dress.” I’d found out that not only is Rarity the best dressmaker in Ponyville, she’s also the only dressmaker in Ponyville. Of course I’d paid for it—she runs a business, not a charity. Twilight darted into the kitchen. If I remembered correctly, “Make sure the sink isn’t running and the stove isn’t on fire.” was about a third of the way through her list. “Never thought I’d see the day where you wore a dress.” “What, I’m not allowed to look pretty?” Granted, I’d blanched when I’d noticed the award ceremony called for formal attire, but he didn’t need to know that. Besides, it was more fun to mess with Spike than wonder if I should have been worrying about my masculinity. “I might have fallen for that if this was the first time we’ve met.” Damn. “Fair enough.” “What’s it look like anyway?” I looked back at where the bundle lay in my saddlebags. “It’s… green? You’ll see it after I get changed anyway.” I was not an art student. When it came to clothing, there was no way I could go through the night without an awkward conversation. If I wore a suit, at least three—I was unsure if Cadence had been informed of my situation—princesses would likely think I was uncomfortable as a mare. I may not have been running around, proclaiming my femininity to the heavens, but a suit would have drawn more attention than I wanted, and my leg was enough of a conversation starter. Since I would be wearing a dress, the princesses would show a slightly different—but still annoying—kind of concern. As soon as they could catch me in private, I’d receive awkward praise for “adapting so well.” The only upside was that everybody else wouldn’t be giving me more than attention than required. Also when I’d asked, Rarity said that I wouldn’t be able to pull off a suit with my body type. I’d taken her word for it—I was barely out of the “all ponies look alike” mindset. Normally, I wouldn’t have cared what she’d said, but she made a valid point, and her needles had many more. I was probably overthinking things, but between standing around waiting for Rarity to finish fitting the dress and standing around waiting for Twilight to finish being neurotic, there was a lot of time for my thoughts to travel out of explored territory without a map, compass, or GPS. The look Twilight had given me when I’d walked in didn’t ease things either. Twilight ran upstairs to make sure the windows were locked, no faucets were running, and whatever else she did up there that I didn’t bother paying attention to—I was her friend and confidant, not her mother or stalker. “Where did you get your mane done?” Even though I’d never really done anything with my mane, I couldn’t find much to dislike about the bun. Hair getting in my face had always been one of my greatest—and only—pet peeves, and it wasn’t like a mane was made of something other than hair. Even if I could learn how to do it myself, the bun was too much effort to wear everyday. However, it would probably be my first choice whenever I had to go without my goggles. My goggles had always done a great job of keeping everything clear of my face, but wearing them wasn’t an option at the ceremony—they’d still be coming with, but they’d be inside my bags instead of on my head. If I wasn’t so worried about screwing things up for the pack, I would have probably ignored the dress code and wore them anyway. “No idea. I’m pretty sure Rarity drugged me or hired somebody to knock me out.” My muzzle scrunched as another idea came to mind. “Or the CMC did it on accident, and Rarity took advantage of the situation.” It was also possible that I’d just zoned out as soon as Rarity had started going on about clear winters, though I didn’t know why she’d care when it was several months off. At any rate, there was a hole in my memory that ended with me getting poked with a needle and Rarity saying, “Stop fidgeting.” “Rarity wouldn’t do that!” Spike looked like he wasn’t sure whether to be horrified or angered. “Is that your crush speaking, or do you honestly believe she won’t get carried away for whatever she considers fashion?” “What? Who told you?” If Spike were a bit taller, his indignant posture would have been about as scary as a loaf of bread. Without that extra height, it was like being threatened by a kitten wearing booties, though kittens didn’t breathe fire very often. “I bet it was Twilight.” I rolled my eyes. “It wasn’t Twilight. You’re just obvious.” “Am not!” “Don’t you have a shirt somewhere around here with you and Rarity in front of a giant heart?” Spike chuckled nervously. “So… how are the diamond dogs doing?” “They’ve been busy cleaning up the place to prepare for building better homes. You should come by and check it out some time. I’m sure they’d love to learn more of your recipes, ‘Master Gem Chef’.” We’d purchased a stock of baking supplies as soon as they’d learned the recipe, and all of it was gone in six hours. I couldn’t blame them though, it was like discovering meat could be cooke—and I made myself sick again. “Hey, you’d enjoy it if you could eat gems.” “What? No, I was thinking about something else.” “Are you two ready to go?” Twilight asked as she teleported to us, making sure her saddlebags were tightened just enough. “Been waiting on you,” I said, and Spike nodded in agreement. “There was a lot of stuff that I needed to make sure was taken care of. Don’t worry, we still have plenty of time before the ceremony.” Yeah, because I was worried about being late. “Where are we meeting the others?” “Others?” “The rest of your friends. Why wouldn’t they be coming?” “As an awards ceremony involving a diplomat, only military or government officials and royalty are allowed to attend. It’s a semi-obscure law that resulted from—” Oh no, I wasn’t going to let her get occupied again. Not when we were so close to leaving. “I’m not a d—crap, I totally am. But aren’t the Element Bearers considered some sort of nobility?” “Nope, as far as the government is concerned, we’re still civilians. Except for me, for obvious reasons. I do wish they could come though.” “What about Pinkie?” “What about me?” It was a good thing I’d developed the habit of bracing myself anytime her name was mentioned. Spike and Twilight still jumped, and the latter’s horn sparked for the briefest of moments. “Pinkie, don’t surprise me like that!” Twilight looked scared, though I doubted it was Pinkie she feared. “Sorry, Twilight!” It sounded earnest, even with the grin on her face. “How long have you been here?” “Oh, I was here all along, just waiting to be mentioned. I’m not sure why though…” She rubbed her muzzle in thought. “I’m your second-in-command, remember?” A familiar chill went down my spine, like it did every time I realized Pinkie was my boss. “If I’m considered a diplomat, so are you.” Twilight gasped. “I can’t believe I forgot! I’m sorry, Pinkie.” “I forgive you. I don’t remember it most of the time either.” Considering she was in the caves nearly every day, that was somewhat odd. “You’ll need something to wear. It’s mandatory.” I couldn’t help but frown. Wearing clothing over fur felt weird, warm, and redundant. “Way ahead of you.” Pinkie pulled up a loose floorboard and produced a coral-colored dress with turquoise highlights. Twilight blinked once, rebooted her brain, and turned back to me. “Is there anything else stopping us from leaving?” “Why is Spike coming? Don’t give me that look, Spike. I really don’t care if you come with, but you’re not wearing or carrying clothes.” Lucky bastard. “Any dragon in good standing with the Princesses is treated as nobility as far as permissions are concerned. And before you ask, Sterling, properly cleaned scales count as formal attire for dragons. Anything else?” That explained why Spike was gleaming slightly more than usual. “Unless Dash is secretly a baron, no.” I’d still have to ask next time I saw her. Everything I knew about her could be summed up as a blue pegasus yelling “Do it faster!” while breaking the sound barrier and anything else she crashed into, like Nascar with fighter jets. Nasjet? “Alright. I’ll still be able to teleport all four of us there easily enough.” “Can’t we just take the train? They shouldn’t be done running for the night yet.” Teleporting was quicker, but the train didn’t make me feel like I’d fallen into a washing machine for the spin cycle. “After what happened last time, they’re not going to let you on the train if you have any thaumite. You’d probably be lucky if they let you in the station at all.” “I don’t even know how it happened.” “But it still happened, and I’m surprised they let you off with a fine.” It was a shame I hadn’t been paying enough attention to remember what pattern I’d twisted the thaumite into, because I could have thought of quite a few applications for neutralizing gravity. The area hadn’t been large enough to affect more than a little bit of the train car, but they’d refused to listen when I’d told them the train wasn’t going to lift off the tracks. “That wasn’t a fine, it was robbery. Fifty bits would have been enough to cover the ‘damages,’ and you know it. Emotional distress my ass. Besides, it wasn’t my fault that stewardess freaked out and lost control of the snack cart.” Pinkie drooled a little. “I liked that part the most.” She’d devoured half the floating food before the magic had worn off. Twilight sighed and glanced out the window. “Just don’t make a mess while we’re there. It was difficult enough convincing Shining Armor to discuss shield spells with you.” “Thanks for that, by the way.” Even though I needed to shield against the cold instead of a changeling invasion, I figured Shining would be the pony to see. “We could walk there. I’m sure that’d be loads of fun,” Pinkie said with a shrug. “Pinkie, the ceremony is in a couple hours. We’d never make it in time.” “We would if we used a montage.” “I like this plan.” I couldn’t recall ever being in a montage. Spike nodded. “Me too.” “We’re not using a montage. Now, is everypony ready?” Twilight didn’t wait for a reply before continuing, “Yes? Good, let’s go.” Before I could protest, I found myself somewhere in Canterlot Castle, slipping on tiles far smoother than the wooden boards in the library. Less than a second later, my leg shot out from under me as the world turned just enough to toss my balance off a building. “Were these just waxed?” I asked from my spot on the ground, thankful that the dizziness was fading quickly. Even though teleporting still made me sick, I was glad Twilight could minimize the effect. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the edge of a red carpet, which everybody else stood on. “Really, Twilight? I know your aim is better than that.” “You should have been standing closer.” “You didn’t give me much warning!” One of the two guards by the only exit cleared his throat. “See? He agrees with me.” I knew what the guard meant, even if he hadn’t used words. “State your name and business.” It was a little difficult standing up, but I made it to the carpet without falling again. “I can understand how you wouldn’t know who I am, but these three are a bit more distinctive.” “Protocol, ma’am.” “Sterling, let the guard do his job.” Twilight stepped forward and cleared her throat. “Princess Twilight Sparkle. I’m here to attend the awards ceremony for Sterling Gears.” “Ooh, me next!” Pinkie raised her hoof and waved it to get the guard’s attention. “Pinkamena Diane Pie, Element of Laughter, Alpha of the Gem Hills Pack, Planner of Parties, Party Avatar, The Queen in Pink, daughter of—” Twilight stuffed her hoof in Pinkie’s mouth. “She’s here for the same thing. Sterling, your turn.” “Sterling Gears, Beta of the Gem Hills Pack.” I didn’t bother restraining my pride at all. “And I’m also here for the same thing.” “I’m Spike. A dragon doesn’t need titles.” When he didn’t say anything else, Twilight rolled her eyes and nudged him. “Oh, right. Same thing as them.” “All four of you are on the list of expected guests. Please line up and wait to be scanned. Thank you for your patience.” Twilight’s eyes widened. “Wait! There should be a note saying I’m exempt from thaumic analysis.” “That has been taken into account, ma’am.” As Twilight sighed with relief, I made a mental note to ask her about the issue with thaumic analysis. Even though it was probably about her magic levels, I wanted specifics and didn’t know anything about how the scan worked. “Welcome to Canterlot, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight breathed a sigh of relief as the guard moved on to Spike, then Pinkie. “Hey, that tickles!” The guard raised a brow at Pinkie’s outburst, and I realized that was the most emotion I’d seen out of him yet. He must have been new. Whatever Pinkie felt when she had been scanned didn’t happen again as the guard used his spell on me. A wave of anxiety washed over me, reminding me of every time I’d walked through a metal detector. Private Brow’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “Ma’am, would you please step aside and remove your saddlebags?” “Gears, use a smoke bomb.” “Pinkie, shush,” Twilight whispered. Would a rubber glove for a pony just be a tube that’s closed at one end? Would it still be a glove, or was it considered a rubber sock when it was worn by a quadruped? Were they at least going to use lu— “Ma’am, step to the side and remove your saddlebags. I will not ask again.” The guard standing near the exit had tensed as well, and his hoof gripped his spear tighter. I slowly followed his directions, wondering what the big deal was. Nothing I had could be considered contraband, and I was pretty sure I wasn’t a changeling. Now that would have been an interesting surprise. My tail pressed against me, almost making me jump. Now that was a reflex I couldn’t remember experiencing before, unless I was only noticing it because the day’s events had reminded me that some of my body was still foreign. Ignoring it had worked well for the most part, but it wasn’t a perfect barrier. I’d need to find a book on body language so I could prevent any more surprises like that. The ear movement had taken some getting used to when I’d first arrived, and so had rearing when that vine had surprised me a few weeks earlier, but my tail doing anything other than threatening to get caught in doors was entirely new to me. The guard carefully removed the roll of thaumite. “Ma’am, please explain why you’re carrying more than the allowed amount of a restricted material.” All the fuss was over my thaumite? “Restricted material? Since when?” I risked a glance at Twilight, who looked like she was waiting for a chance to speak. Hopefully, it would be to bail me out of this mess. “Twilight, mind helping me out here?” “I didn’t expect you to bring so much!” “Really?” Pinkie, Spike, and I asked simultaneously. “Well, no. At least, not without requesting a permit after hearing the law go into effect.” And just when I was starting to think I could go through a whole day without facehoofing. “Twilight, when would I have heard about it? How much am I allowed to carry without a permit?” The law as I knew it was just various rewordings of “don’t be a malicious asshole unless you know a loophole.” “The amount allowed without a permit is ten centimeters, ma’am. You have at least a hundred times that amount.” “I can’t do anything with ten centimeters of thaumite.” “That’s the point, ma’am.” “Whatever, I’m not going to waste more time arguing about this. Twilight, can you vouch for me or contact someone who can?” “That won’t be necessary.” Celestia strode into the room, wearing an amused smile. I got the feeling I’d just helped her win a bet. “Excellent timing, Princess Celestia!” “Thank you, Pinkie Pie.” Celestia glided across the room, taking control of the thaumite and placing it back into my saddlebags. “At ease. This is nothing but a simple miscommunication, and I trust Sterling Gears to use this thaumite responsibly. My sister and I made sure to send her the appropriate paperwork, but it must have been delayed in the mail.” Private Brow nodded and returned to his spot at the door, settling into the usual stance. If it weren’t for their armor and eyes, they could have had a run in with a cockatrice and we would have been none the wiser. Considering my mailbox near-instantaneously summoned any mail addressed to me—because Discord—a delay was unlikely. Either Celestia was BSing the guard or Discord was having a little bit of fun. Honestly, I wasn’t sure which option was more realistic. “Thanks, Celestia.” “Sterling, you’re here for an official ceremony. You need to use the appropriate title.” Twilight had been doing much better when it came to not bombarding Celestia with “Princess” every time they saw one another, so she might have had a valid point. However, Twilight had a knack for thinking obscure etiquette or laws were still relevant. “I’m afraid she’s correct. Come, I’ll show all of you where you’ll be staying tonight. Once you’ve finished preparing, it should be just about time for the ceremony to start.” As she stepped into the hallway, a different pair of guards fell into position behind us. As much as I wanted to ignore the rule and address Celestia as I wished, I wasn’t here just for myself. Pinkie and I had to act with the best intentions for our packmates, which left very little wiggle room. I would play by the rules but assume everybody I hadn’t already met was trying to take advantage of my inexperience. With all the effort I’d put into adjusting to the prosthetic, she didn’t need to slow below an average walking speed for me to keep up. If there was one thing I wished I’d remembered though, it was to add some sort of padding to the bottom—the sound it made when striking the tiles was an obnoxious addition to the otherwise pleasing rhythm. It was like an orchestra where someone tripped over a trash can every four beats. “I must admit I am unaware of the proper way to address diamond dog dignitaries,” Celestia said. “I have no idea,” Pinkie said. “Neither do I. They just call me ‘Beta,’ and they’re just as likely to call Pinkie ‘Boss’ as ‘Alpha.’ I think those might just apply to actual pack members though, since they gave weird looks to the couple ponies that have addressed me as ‘Beta Sterling Gears.’ To be honest, I don’t like the way that sounds either. Twilight, you’ve picked Spot’s brain—was there anything about this in there?” Twilight shook her head just enough to be noticeable. “Nothing about it ever came up, but there’s a possibility there is nothing in place regarding foreign relations.” “Does there have to be something? I’d rather be known by my actions than position.” “It would be best if there was some title available to introduce you during the ceremony. Unfortunately, bestowing titles based on heroics has fallen out of favor.” “Well, bring them back. They’re awesome.” I sighed. “If you absolutely need something, just add ‘Beta of the Gem Hills Pack’ to my name.” When one of my packmates called me ‘Beta,’ it was a term of respect, but here it only served to remind others that I held a position somewhere they couldn’t care less about. “That will do nicely for an announcement, but what about an honorific?” I should have already thought of that. “Beta of the Gem Hills Pack” was too lengthy for normal conversation. With a sigh, I said, “Looks like we’re stuck with ‘Beta’ and ‘Alpha’.” It would have to be explained to the pack, and I personally didn’t like having one, but it was a necessary evil. “I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable, but this social setting has its own set of rules.” “That doesn’t make it any less annoying.” Celestia pursed her lips. “No, it does not.” “Princess Celestia, there’s something very important I must ask of you,” Pinkie said with the most serious expression I’d seen in weeks—she hadn’t taken it too well when Bon Bon had said she was out of peanut brittle. “Will there be cake?” “Of course.” Small talk accompanied what little remained of the walk. The room we’d teleported into was surprisingly close to the guest quarters. I’d figured we’d have to walk through half of the castle, be forced to take a detour because of construction, and end up donning our dresses in a broom closet to have enough time to make it to the ceremony. Pinkie’s room was adjacent to mine, and Twilight was planning on using her old quarters. With the large amount of rules covering every little thing, I was surprised that she was still able to sleep where she wanted. “I wish I could converse further, but there is some business I must attend to. When it is time, an attendant will escort you to the ceremony. Farewell.” Celestia’s two guards departed with her, leaving just the three of us in the hallway. “Looks like she can’t wait for the formalities to be over either.” “I could liven things up a bit, but that didn’t go so well last time I tried it.” Pinkie’s smiled widened as she continued, “But I brought the party cannon just in case it gets really boring in there.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at Twilight’s look of horror. “Who knows, Twilight? She might get distracted by political intrigue.” “It’s true. I’m amazing at getting distracted.” “And if that doesn’t work, Spike could always light something on fire.” “No way! I’d get in so much trouble.” He noticed Twilight’s expectant look and added, “Also, it would be wrong." Pinkie patted Twilight’s back. “Don’t worry, Twilight. It’s a safe bet that I’ll get distracted.” Twilight laughed nervously. “I guess it could happen. Hopefully.” She glanced around the hall, frowning when she couldn’t find whatever she was looking for. “We probably don’t have too much time left. I’m going to freshen up at my old room quick.” “You could probably save some time if you used one of our bathrooms. I mean, I’m just going to throw the dress on and make sure it’s not inside out. Or backwards.” “And I’m already wearing my outfit.” “Pinkie, don’t break Twilight.” “Sorry, though she would have noticed if she hadn’t been worrying about me starting a war.” Pinkie scoffed. “Maybe a scandal, sure, but I’d actually have to try if I wanted a war.” Twilight sighed. “I’ll be back shortly.” She lit her horn and vanished. “Too much?” Pinkie asked. “Nah, she’s just incapable of coming to Canterlot without getting stressed at least once. It would have been much worse if you’d said ‘international crisis’ instead of ‘scandal’,” Spike said. “I like that word. Crisis. Crisis. Crises.” “Have fun, you two. I’m going to go get changed.” “See you later, Gears. Spike, let’s go find the kitchens and see if we can get some sn—” The thick, polished door closed behind me with little sound of its own. Something about the four-poster bed and red color scheme felt familiar, though I couldn’t quite pinpoint why. Fortunately, the lamps were unshuttered, and I wouldn’t need to make a mad dash to turn the lights on. I set my saddlebags on the bed and removed the carefully folded dress, thankful that I’d spent the extra bits for crease-resistant cloth—maybe it was a spell she’d used on the cloth afterwards that had made it crease-resistant. Either way, it was one less thing I had to care about. It wouldn’t be too hard to figure out. Most pony dresses were just glorified capes anyway, and mine was no different. The cloth slightly shimmered in the light—it wasn’t enough to make me look like I had an addiction to glitter glue, but it did make the color a bit more vivid. The color reminded me of some of the emeralds I’d seen the pack dig up. Rarity might have had a reputation for grandiose clothing, but I was glad she understood the merits of simplicity. “There, all set. Wait, that’s not right.” My first attempt had left the dress upside down. Attempt number two left the dress on backwards. “Nope, still not right.” The third attempt ended with me wearing a bedsheet. “How did this even happen?” I could program the timer on a VCR, but donning that piece of clothing was proving to be more complicated than I could have dreamed—it was like trying to program a Tamagotchi to beat Deep Blue in chess. Even though I was careful not to cause any damage to the dress, I was still a bit more forceful than I should have been while trying to get it to obey. “You will not get the best of m—” A panicked Twilight Sparkle blinked into the room, the teleport’s flash as blinding as a disposable camera’s. “Gears, I heard shouting, are you alright?” Her panic turned to confusion in moments. “Were you about to punch your dress?” “I didn’t start this fight.” She sighed. “It’s an inanimate object. Unless there’s a spell pattern you haven’t told me about, I sincerely doubt it picked a fight with you.” I would have to see if I could actually make such a spell pattern. “So, how did you hear me from wherever your room is?” “I was actually in the hallway. I’d finished getting dressed and—” “Wait, you’re done?” I could only see a tiara, a torc, and some slipper-shoe dealies that looked like they would need adhesive to stay on. “If you can get away with that, I don’t see why I have to wear anything larger than a hat.” Twilight frowned, though she was still in a good enough mood to roll her eyes. “Sterling, this is the traditional regalia for Equestrian royalty.” “So it’s your trainee-princess regalia?” “If you must call it that, yes. Personally, I’d rather wear a dress. This jewelry makes me feel like I’m just playing dress-up.” “Do you want to talk about it?” Ever since that one night where she’d shown up on my doorstep, we’d been meeting at least once a week to talk. It didn’t feel like we were getting very far, but at least Twilight hadn’t had trouble sleeping in weeks. “Later tonight, but for now, you have to finish getting ready. Sorry for barging in.” “Don’t worry about it. I probably shouldn’t be beating my clothing anyway, even if it is a complete pain in the ass to put on.” “Do you want help?” “I appreciate the offer, but I’m not a child—foal, whatever, you know what I mean—who can’t dress themselves without the aid of an adult. I’m not helpless.” “I never said you were.” “Sorry, it just gets frustrating. I didn’t mean to take it out on you, but I guess that dress is just evil or something.” She giggled. “Evil or not, you have to put it on.” “Fine. Twilight, will you help me?” The H-word always left a bad taste in my mouth when I was the one asking for it. “I’d be glad to. Where’s the brooch?” “The clasp thingie, right? It’s over here.” With Twilight’s aid, I had the dress on in ten seconds flat. It felt so demeaning to need help for something so simple. Finished, she stepped back and looked me over. “It looks good on you.” “Thanks, I’m just glad it’s not made of frills.” “Rarity doesn’t make all her dresses like that. In fact, she made me a dress for my birthday a couple years ago.” “I remember that. It was in an episode.” She chuckled and lightly shook her head. “I’m still not used to that. How are you holding up?” “I have no business bumping elbows with a bunch of hoity-toity nobles and officials, wearing something over fur after is more awkward than I could have imagined, and I can’t stop wondering how much of a fuss anybody that knows my secret is going to make when they see me in a dress.” “Why would—oh, right. You know, that doesn’t cross my mind at all when somepony mentions your name. I know the only thing you truly hated about it was the attention, and it wouldn’t have been very friendly of me to keep picking at it.” Twilight’s smile was slight but genuine. “I’ll admit I was surprised when you showed up with a dress, but that was only because I expected more of a fight getting you to wear any formal outfit.” Well, that was a breath of fresh air. Even if she couldn’t speak for the other princesses, I wasn’t feeling anywhere near as anxious. “Thanks, Twilight. I really needed to hear that.” “Of course. I’m glad I could—” A sharp knock on the door cut off whatever Twilight was going to say. “Beta Sterling Gears?” The voice was muffled but not difficult to understand. “It is nearly time for the awards ceremony, and I am here to escort you to the waiting room.” “Already?” I half-shouted. If Twilight hadn’t shown up when she did, I would have still been hock-deep in combat. I was always up for a good work story, but not if it involved me screaming at inanimate objects. “There is still some time before it begins; however, you must be present ahead of time, as you are involved in the proceedings.” His tone was flat, but he didn’t possess the gruff voice of a guard—he was probably a servant, butler, minion, or whatever the PC term was. I sighed. “I’ll be out in a moment. Twilight, you’re part of this too, right?” “Yes, but my only role is to stand with Celestia, Luna, and Cadence. I’m not supposed to do anything else.” The pony outside the door could wait a bit longer. “I thought that sort of thing made you uncomfortable.” Twilight stamped her hoof. “Not when it’s something so important to me! Part of the reason we’re here tonight is that you risked your life to save mine, which ultimately resulted in the loss of your leg. Even if you feel that there wasn’t a choice in the matter, it doesn’t change what you did.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I don’t want to stand around like a decoration. Not when I should be the one thanking you and extolling your deeds in front of dozens of dignitaries. Standing on the sidelines just feels like an insult.” I draped a foreleg over her withers. “If it helps, I don’t feel insulted. Have you tried asking Celestia if you could have a bigger role?” “No, but that’s not how the ceremony is supposed to go.” “I’m sure she’d understand. Worst she will do is say ‘no,’ and I sincerely doubt she would.” In fact, she’d probably be thrilled that Twilight stepped up. “I’ll ask her when we get there.” Twilight sighed. “We should get going if we don’t want to be late.” “And you’ll actually ask Celestia? Don’t give me that look, we’re not in a formal setting yet.” “Yes, Gears, I’ll ask.” Her smile changed into a smirk. “You know, we don’t have to walk there. I know where we’re going and can just teleport us.” “That’s alright, I could use the exercise, and with how much you teleport instead of just walking, so could you.” Not to mention that lately, she’d been eating like she was trying to drive hayburgers to extinction. It was probably a princess thing—I’d seen Celestia slay a cake for twenty with nothing more than a dessert fork, and it was the most graceful massacre I’d ever seen. “Are you saying I’m fat?” If she’d actually sounded offended, I might have felt bad. It was my turn to smirk. “No, I’m implying it.” The pony who had knocked was dressed in a simple uniform, and he was patiently waiting on the opposite side of the hall. Between the lack of frantic scrambling, his completely passive expression, and the air of professionalism that said, “I’ve been working here for fifteen years, and I don’t want to get fired for something as pointless as eavesdropping on VIPs,” I figured he’d backed away from the door as soon as Twilight and I had started talking. He bowed his head to each of us in turn. “Princess Twilight Sparkle. Beta Sterling Gears.” It probably sounded better to those who had no chance of associating “Beta” with testing, but I didn’t have that luxury. Then again, Equestria and I were in a love-hate relationship, so who knew what “Beta” meant to them? “May I show you to the ceremony?” We nodded and followed him down the hall. Twilight and I remained silent while we walked, though it was mostly out of courtesy for our escort. A few of the hallways looked familiar but not enough to keep me from losing my sense of direction. I’d figured he would have led us straight to the throne room. Instead, we stopped at a door that was in sight of the throne room’s entrance but clearly separate. “Beta Sterling Gears, this is the room you and the Alpha will be waiting in until the appropriate time. Somepony else will be by shortly to explain your roles in the ceremony in detail. Princess Twilight Sparkle, please follow me.” “Good luck.” Twilight smiled and disappeared into the throne room. “Hi, Gears!” Pinkie jumped up from her seat as I opened the door. “I’m no longer allowed in the castle kitchens when they’re preparing meals.” “Um, I’m sorry to hear that?” “Thanks! I’ll just have to sneak in once they all go to bed. I’ll make mounds of pastries, and they’ll be none the wiser.” She rubbed her forehooves together and semi-evilly chuckled. “Why?” Normally, I wouldn’t have asked, but we had time to kill before whoever was explaining things showed up. “Why what?” “Why are you going to sneak into the castle kitchens to make pastries after dark?” “I am? That sounds fun!” Two sharp knocks rang through the room, and the knob turned. I shuddered as it reminded me of a doctor showing up once a nurse had taken your vitals. Fortunately, the visitor didn’t open with “What seems to be the problem today?” “You both look lovely this evening. It is good to see the two of you again,” Luna said with a genuine smile. As she shut the door, I caught a glimpse a batpony—thestral? Nocturne? Now that the thought was stuck in my head, it would bother me until I asked—guard taking his position outside the door. Pinkie waved. “Hi, Princess!” “I could say the same about you, Luna. We didn’t get much of a chance to talk after the Summer Sun Celebration.” With my dreams back to chaotic messes I couldn’t remember, this was the first I’d been able to speak to Luna in at least a month. She nodded to disguise a flinch I barely noticed. “My apologies. The Summer Sun Celebration keeps Celestia and I busy long after the moon is lowered and the sun is raised. However, I did see you in the crowd, waving with reckless abandon.” I’d done lots of things with reckless abandon, and waving had been easier than most. “Don’t worry about it. I figured that was the case.” “So, why are you here, Princess Luna? I mean, it’s not an issue seeing as the castle is partly yours. Is there a map somewhere of which parts are yours? I’m sorry in advance if the kitchens are yours, but I really, really, really need to bake something tonight so I don’t get rusty, because I want to keep my job at Sugarcube Corner—nopony likes it if you use rusty utensils to prepare their food, and rusty ponies are probably in the same boat. Now there’s an idea. I think there wouldn’t be much competition if I went into the floating bakery business. Even pirates could use a cupcake now and then.” I poked Pinkie and gave her the “you’re doing it again” look. However, the idea of Luna and Celestia owning separate parts of the castle amused me, especially if they drew a line straight down the middle of the throne room to divide everything. “Sorry, it’s just that I’m supposed to be so fancy and reserved and boringly quiet tonight that all the words just get backed up and spill out whenever they get the chance. It’s like a dam with floodgates that get stuck all the time, probably because they’re rusty. What’s with all these rusty things? You’d think somepony would come up with something that helps prevent it. It wouldn’t take more than forty tries, I think.” Another poke, another look. Pinkie smiled sheepishly. “Were you not informed that somepony would be with you shortly?” Luna asked. “Sure, but we expected an aide, not you or Celestia.” “I expected one of the chefs to stop by and finish yelling at me for using so much confectioner’s sugar, thank you very much.” Pinkie mock-huffed, which still sounded strange coming from her. Luna nodded in understanding. “I see. Well, I could always go find an aide if you do not wish for my assistance…” I laughed. It really was good seeing Luna again. “Oh shush. You know what we meant.” Luna chuckled as she took a seat. “I suppose I did. I trust the two of you are well?” “Yeppers!” Pinkie said as she played with a bowl of complimentary mints, which I hadn’t seen when I’d entered the room. In all honesty, she made it look really fun. “Things have been going pretty good. We’ve been working on some quality-of-life improvements for the pack, and the caves look much better than before. Trade is going well, and we’re thinking about increasing our raw-silver exports.” “While I am thrilled to hear the Gem Hills are thriving, I was asking about you, Sterling.” “Nothing really worth mentioning. Progress on the shield has been slow, but that’s why I’m discussing it with Shining Armor later. Smoky Sparks hasn’t shown up yet either, but I never got an estimate on when he or she is supposed to visit.” Luna sighed, rubbing her brow. “Unfortunately, we do not have a long time before the ceremony begins and there is still much to discuss. We can talk further at a later time, and I sincerely hope we do so tonight. There is something else I must give you.” I’d already had meetings planned with Shining and Twilight, but it wasn’t as if Luna was going to sleep before lowering the moon. Mornings were for sleeping anyway. “Yeah, sure. What do we need to do in this ceremony anyway? I don’t have to give a speech, do I?” “Not unless you wish to.” I blanched. There was no way me giving a speech could end well. Heck, if I were giving a speech at a “Nobel Peace Prize” ceremony, I’d accidentally start a riot. “No thanks, I’m good.” “In that case, there is little either of you have to do during the ceremony itself. After the ceremony however, you will be expected to mingle with other dignitaries.” “I’m really not looking forward to that part.” “With the positions both of you hold, it would be impossible to avoid them indefinitely. Here, you can meet them in a relatively controlled environment instead of when they knock on your door, looking for anything they can take offense to.” “Just how many are attending the ceremony?” A feeling in my gut told me I didn’t want to know the answer, but forewarned is forearmed—I idly wondered if the saying was different for the four-legged, but transdimensional word development was an exclusive field of study. “Around three score.” The feeling in my gut had told the truth—the night was not going to be fun. “That’s a lot more than I was hoping.” “I understand your discomfort. If it makes you feel better, nearly half of them are lesser nobles with enough authority to attend the ceremony but not enough to have any real power.” “And the other half?” “Heads of noble houses, government and military officials, and ambassadors.” That was just… wow. Tonight was going to suck more than a Dyson in a black hole. “I would have liked a bit of training in politics before being thrown to the wolves.” Then again, I doubted much of that training would help me against wolves. Pinkie looked up as she put the finishing touches on the house she’d built out of the mints. “We’ll be fine, Gears. Just keep your ears open, don’t promise anything, and don’t leave tape over any door latches.” Luna nodded towards me. “My sister and I would not ask something of you if we were not sure you would succeed.” I sighed, wondering how my life had gotten to this point. “Well, I’ve always learned better from practical experience.” The entire thing was a disaster waiting to happen, regardless of what Celestia and Luna thought I was capable of. “Hooray, I don’t have to pull rank!” Pinkie threw her hooves into the air as she cheered, utterly demolishing her mint house. “Aww, that’s not going to be good for property values.” Luna chuckled as she used her magic to return all the mints to their bowl. “As I said earlier, your role in the ceremony is minimal. Celestia will begin with drawing everypony’s attention by announcing the reason they have all been invited. Meanwhile, you two will be waiting outside the throne room until the appropriate time, at which point a royal guard will tell you to enter. “When the doors open walk to the dais, making sure to keep your eyes forward at all times. Pinkamena, make sure you match Sterling’s pace, remaining slightly behind and to her right. Once you have reached the dais, Sterling, step onto it and stand halfway between the edge and my sister and I. Pinkamena, it is imperative you do not step onto the dais with her. Your place is on the right side of the carpet, just before the dais and opposite Prince Shining Armor. “Once both of you are in position, I will step forward and bestow the award upon Sterling. After I have finished, Celestia will give another speech, which will be followed by my own. With our speeches finished, the ceremony will be brought to a close and Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza will escort both of you out of the throne room and to the banquet hall. Do you have any questions?” “What am I supposed to do with the award? I don’t want to have to hold onto it all night, and my clumsy hooves would make it even more difficult.” “I could always hold onto it for you, Gears. I’m never carrying much anyway.” Right, other than disguises, baked goods, and various party accessories that may or may not require a demolitions permit. “You need not worry about such a thing. For your induction into the Order of the Ash Heart, you will receive a neck order.” “That actually sounds kinda neat. It’s not some exclusive club membership with meetings and stuff, is it?” I’d thought I would be getting a medal—I’d never even heard of a ”neck order.” “The Order of the Ash Heart is for civilians who have been seriously injured or slain during exemplary service to Equestria.” I didn’t feel right accepting an award when there was somebody who deserved it far more than I did. Rising from my seat, I asked, “What about D—” Luna held up a hoof to cut me off. “Rest assured that we did not forget him. Such a thing would be unspeakable.” With a nod, I sat back down. I let out a sigh, wondering if I’d have time for a break before the ceremony. The night was taking to my nerves with a power sander. “If he were still here, I’m sure he’d be proud of you, Gears… and asking for more cupcakes.” Pinkie smiled as she released me from the hug, which I hadn’t even noticed in the first place. Was it just me, or was she getting sneakier? Luna stood up, looking as if she’d rather stay seated and chat with the two of us. “If there are no further questions about the ceremony, I must depart and take my place in it.” “I’m good.” I was sure it was all simple enough that I could keep track of it. Wait for the cue, walk up to the princesses, and wait impatiently but quietly for it all to be over. Pinkie nodded. “Me too.” “Farewell, my friends. And, Sterling? Congratulations.” “Thanks. I’ll see you in a little while, I guess.” That is, unless some evil force invaded and she had to arrange a defense. Knowing Equestria, there was about a fifty-fifty chance that Canterlot would be attacked that night. Pinkie spoke up as the door closed behind Luna. “So, Gears, what do you want to do while we wait for the fun to begin?” “Did you bring any board games?” Pinkie giggled. “What kind of silly question is that? Of course I brought board games. One of them is even about boards.” She had barely set up all the pieces before a royal guard told us it was time to get ready. It was a shame—the board game about boards actually looked interesting enough to keep us from getting bored. Ponies were weird. Pinkie was weirder. I fidgeted as we stood outside the double doors throne room, both of us flanked by a royal guard in polished, filigreed armor—likely the dress armor for formal occasions. Nothing from inside the throne room could be heard, not even the conversations of the dozens of officials I wanted to spend the night ignoring. Pinkie fidgeted more than I did, bouncing in place as one of the guards tracked her movement with just his eyes. Suddenly, I heard Celestia’s voice as clear as if she were standing in front of us, and the guards’ postures straightened. “Esteemed guests, I thank all of you for your attendance tonight. We are gathered here to honor one of the heroes responsible for ending Equestria’s recent troubles.” Wow, she was really building up my importance with the audience. Now I was really regretting the lack of time to take a break. “With great risk to her own life, she saved one of our own from a terrible fate, but her actions were not without a dire cost. Tonight, we thank her for her sacrifice. Without further ado, I present to you our honored guest, Sterling Gears, Beta of the Gem Hills pack, and her peer, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Alpha of the Gem Hills Pack.” Wordlessly, the guards opened the doors in synchronization and took their places on the other side as Pinkie and I began walking. Applause accompanied us, the thundering stomps of a few enthusiastic individuals drowning out the polite “I’m only doing anything because there are four princesses looking in my direction” hooffalls. Though there were confused expressions on both sides, only the left side exchanged murmurs as I passed by. None of it sounded derisive, so that was a plus, but all the attention was making my gut feel like a motorized butter churner. Much to my surprise, I made it to and up the dais without tripping. I caught Twilight’s eye and arched an eyebrow, receiving a subtle smile and nod in return. Luna stepped forward with one of the biggest smiles I’d ever seen on her, a case floating next to her in her magic. “Sterling Gears, it is my great honor to present to you an award befitting your actions.” A beautiful necklace with a thick band floated out of the case, which promptly vanished. At the end of the chain dangled an ornate medal encircled with entwined bands of gold and silver. The center was a lighter material polished to a sheen, though I couldn’t identify what it was with a quick glance. I only caught a glimpse of the engraving, which was the Equestrian coat of arms with some flowers above it. I was no expert at horticulture, but bleeding hearts have a distinctive shape—also, they were pretty tasty. “This badge signifies your position as a Knight of the Order of the Ash Heart. Wear it well.” Wait, had Luna just called me a knight? “Equestria thanks you, Dame Sterling Gears.” My dislike of honorifics was promptly upgraded from “who used up the last of the milk?” to “stop trying to sell me magazine subscriptions at two in the morning.” I dipped my head to allow Luna to slip the medal over it. The whole thing was heavier than I’d expected, and the metal felt cool against my neck. The chain wasn’t long enough for it to dangle like a medal usually did, but it wasn’t short enough to choke. To be honest, it was pretty comfortable, though I could have done without the precious metals or being knighted. Knights were cool and all, but I still preferred to think of them as fancy medieval warriors. I was aware that knighthood had still been awarded in modern times back on Earth, but I’d always thought of it as a silly distinction in that day and age. I shouldn’t have received a fancy title just because I’d lost a leg while saving Twilight. An award, sure, I could understand and appreciate that, but knighthood was a bit much. Luna returned to her initial position while Twilight stepped forward, beaming at me. I’d never understood why the princesses always had their wings open when they were trying to look important. Twilight was the only one without an impressive height, but her wings were still obvious enough that I couldn’t see the point of impersonating an avian mating dance. Maybe I was just grouchy over getting gobsmacked with the whole “Dame” thing. “Friends, allies, esteemed guests, courage is something we all must strive for. It is not something you can simply test for, something to be quantified and used when the need calls for it. It is not determined by bloodline, passed down from parent to progeny.” Was I just supposed to keep standing where I was? If I were in the audience, I’d get tired of seeing somebody’s rear end fairly quickly. “Courage is not strength during adversity. Courage is strength despite adversity. Any of us may say that we possess it, that we are ready to accomplish what is necessary in a crisis, but when danger looms, only the courageous stand true. They do not flee. They do not give up. They do not abandon the helpless.” She wasn’t using the Royal Canterlot Voice, but there was no doubt in my mind that her voice carried clearly to every corner of the room. “I would not be here today if it weren’t for the courage of Dame Sterling Gears. I was incapacitated during our most dire hour, yet she stood firm and ensured my safety despite the anguish caused by her wounds. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Dame Sterling Gears. I owe you a debt I can never repay.” The room erupted into applause again, though this time, it sounded like a stampede of panicked wildebeests, a few of which whistled. I continued to stand where I was, feeling very awkward about all the attention. Still, I was proud of Twilight for actually following through with a speech, and she got bonus points for doing it without notecards. During the applause, Twilight went back to her spot, and Luna stepped forward again. Instead of asking for silence, she waited for it to die down. “The merits of Dame Sterling Gears extend beyond her courage and tenacity. Through Pinkamena Diane Pie and Sterling Gears’s efforts and leadership, Equestria has forged friendly relations with a diamond dog pack for the first time in recorded history. Through trade, the silver and topaz shortages have ended, and we look forward to continued contact.” Even the first bout of applause had been better than what followed Luna’s words. Sure, a few applauded in earnest, some did it to be polite, and what could only be Pinkie did it hard enough for a quarter of the room, but I was sorely tempted to turn around and see if the rest were too stunned or confused to do anything. If Celestia was disappointed by the audience’s response, she didn’t show it. “Thank you, all of you, for being here tonight to honor the deeds of one of our heroes.” She smiled and her eyes glinted playfully. “Now for the part many of you have been waiting for—do not deny it, some of your stomachs are quite loud.” The audience responded with chuckles. Celestia continued, “Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, would you please escort Alpha Pinkamena Diane Pie and our guest of honor to the banquet hall?” Finally! My legs were starting to get stiff, and it felt oh so good to get them moving again. I could only imagine how Discord must have felt when he broke free. He hadn’t been trapped for ten thousand years, but his imprisonment had to have given him such a crick in the neck. The two princesses nodded at me as we started walking, and Pinkie quickly took her position next to me as soon as I’d stepped off the dais. “She better not have been lying about the cake,” Pinkie whispered. Cadence must have heard too, as she quietly giggled. The two royal guards from earlier opened the doors for us, and Twilight and Cadence steered us to the left. Well, they steered me at least—with cake at the center, Pinkie could find her way through a maze so quick that Daedalus would have said “fuck it, I’m done” and gone home. “So, haven’t had a chance to meet you before, Cadence,” I said. Since there hadn't been a prize for meeting all of the Mane Six, I doubted there would be one for meeting all the princesses. “Sterling!” Cadence chuckled. “It’s alright, Twilight. It’s not like anypony is close enough to hear us. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dame Sterling Gears. Congratulations.” “Just ‘Sterling’ or ‘Gears,’ please. No, seriously, just either of those.” Continued exposure still hadn’t acclimated me to “Dame.” It was like going back to the beach to get rid of your sunburn. “I can understand that. As this is our first meeting, I haven’t had the chance to thank you for saving Twilight. She’s lucky to have friends like you.” “She’s the only purple pony I know. The color wheel would have been lopsided without her.” Pinkie nodded like she'd just heard a vague, inspirational saying. “It’s true. Wheels that aren’t round don’t work very well.” Twilight smirked. “Gee, thanks.” “Sterling, I’ve heard that you have a meeting with Shining Armor later tonight,” Cadence said. I nodded. “Yeah, I figured that he’d be the pony to talk to about shield spells. I was lucky that Twilight was able to set up a way for me to meet with him.” Cadence smiled. “Shining does know shields better than most ponies alive today. I hope you can learn something from him.” “I’m a quick study, even if my note-taking skills offend Twilight.” Twilight opened her mouth to object, but instead of speaking, she sighed and nodded, drawing laughter from the rest of us. “The two of you would probably get along. Still, don’t get too cozy tonight. He is a married stallion, after all.” Wait, what? “Excuse me?” “Oh look, we’ve arrived at the banquet hall,” Cadence said with a smirk, opening the doors and strolling inside.