//------------------------------// // Contumacy // Story: The Diamond Exchange // by angelbunny //------------------------------// With hearts as heavy as horses, the Cutie Mark Crusaders sniffled and sobbed as they trudged down the street side by side on their way to their respective homes. Prior to their departure from the schoolhouse, Sweetie Belle suggested that they follow Mayor Mare all the way back to Cheerilee’s house but that idea was shot down by both Apple Bloom and Scootaloo who knew that Cheerilee’s road to recovery would not benefit from the addition of a trio of fillies hovering over her. This was an adult problem that required an adult solution and knowing that they could do nothing to help somepony they loved only furthered their grief. “I didn’t know that Miss Cheerilee couldn’t have foals,” said Sweetie Belle. “Nopony other than her doctor an’ her immediate family was supposed ta know about that,” said Apple Bloom. “I never saw Miss Cheerilee cry before,” whimpered Scootaloo. “It was the saddest thing I ever saw. It broke my heart.” “Mine, too,” whimpered Sweetie Belle. “Mine, three,” whimpered Apple Bloom. “And now she’s gone for good,” said Scootaloo. “Right? I mean, there’s no way that she’ll be allowed to teach in Ponyville again after this, is there?” “Not a snowball’s chance in Tartarus,” said Apple Bloom. “Easy, Apple Bloom,” said Sweetie Belle. “With the kind of luck we’ve had, I wouldn’t be surprised if Granny Smith was just around the corner and heard you swear.” “Ah know. It just flies off mah tongue when ah’m mad.” Apple Bloom cleared her throat and swallowed. “Did y’all see all that blood tricklin’ down Diamond Tiara's butt when she got busted open?” “Yeah.” Scootaloo wrinkled her nose as she recalled the attack. “I wanted so badly to see Diamond Tiara get punished for being so mean... and when Miss Cheerilee started to whip her, I was all ‘You go, Miss Cheerilee!’... but then she kept on going and going and then I saw the blood and I thought to myself ‘Stop. Please stop’. I don’t get it. Even after everything that Diamond Tiara did, I still felt sorry for her and I don’t know why!” “It was because you had a conscience,” said Sweetie Belle. “It bothered you because you’re a good pony. Don’t be hard on yourself over that.” “I... I was even gonna step in like Silver Spoon tried to do... because it felt like the right thing to do – like something that Rainbow Dash would do, y’know? And then when Miss Cheerilee hit Silver Spoon in the face with that pointer, I got so scared that she might hit me if I stepped in that I froze up.” “Same here,” said Apple Bloom. “An’ it woulda killed me if she’d’ve hit one o’ us.” “I thought the same thing,” said Sweetie Belle. “So did I,” said Scootaloo. “Have you guys ever noticed how often we have the same opinion?” “What are you talking about? We disagree on stuff all the time.” As Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo took the conversation in a different direction, Apple Bloom seethed with anger as she focused on the pony responsible for this whole mess: Diamond Tiara. “We agree on things way more often than we disagree on them.” “No, we don’t.” “Yes, we do.” “No, we don’t. Do you know how many ‘me too’s and ‘me three’s I’ve said? That we’ve all said?” “When was the last time we disagreed on something?” “Just yesterday.” “We didn’t disagree on anything yesterday.” “Did too.” “Did not.” “Did too.” “Did not.” “Here’s a different thought for y’all,” blurted Apple Bloom. “Ah’m gonna beat the manure out o’ Diamond Tiara next time ah lay eyes on her.” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked at each other and then looked back at Apple Bloom. Anypony who witnessed Diamond Tiara's whipping knew that the pink filly was going to need medical attention for her injuries. She had received the wages of her sin twenty times over. “You're not serious, are you?” asked Sweetie Belle. “Ah'm super serious,” said Apple Bloom. “The biyutch couldn’t be satisfied takin’ our dignity from us. She had ta go an’ take the best teacher in the world away from us, too.” “Yeah, but beating her up...” said Scootaloo. "I don't think that’s such a good idea. After what happened today-” “Ah think it’s a great idea especially after what happened today. She got Twist killed, she made Miss Cheerilee cry, cost her her job, insulted Scootaloo and mah family... and she spat on my flank! Well, now it’s high time ta see how good she is at spittin’ teeth!” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were silent for a while. “But you will stop beating her up, right?” asked Scootaloo. “I mean, you're not planning on pulling a Miss Cheerilee on her, are you?” Apple Bloom didn't offer a reply. “Apple Bloom,” called out Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looked at one another with no small amount of concern over the determined look upon their friend's countenance and the disturbing silence that accompanied it. “Yeah, ah'll stop,” replied an irritated Apple Bloom. “But not until she begs me fer mercy – an’ then apologizes ta everypony fer being such a ruttin’ cuntwagon.” “Language, Apple Bloom,” warned Scootaloo. “Aren't you gonna wait until she’s healed up from her injuries first?” asked Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom stopped walking. She walked ahead of Sweetie Belle and turned to face her, blocking the unicorn’s path and bringing their journey to a halt. “Ah'm sorry,” said Apple Bloom snidely, “but that’s twice now that somethin’ soundin’ like sympathy fer Diamond Tiara is comin’ out o’ yer mouths.” “W-Would it be so bad if that’s what it was?” asked Sweetie Belle as her eyes grew glossy with tears. “Weren’tcha payin' attention?” Apple Bloom frowned at Sweetie Belle. "Didn’tcha hear the way she spoke ta Miss Cheerilee? She drove her ta attack her! She was practic’ly beggin’ fer a lickin’ an’ she got one! An’ now Miss Cheerilee’s been fired an’ might even go ta jail fer all we know. So ah’m gonna show Diamond Tiara-” “MERCYYY!” cried Sweetie Belle. She threw herself at Apple Bloom’s forelegs and held them as she wept on her friend's forehooves. Apple Bloom was struck speechless by Sweetie Belle’s plea. Begging on behalf of Diamond Tiara was something that she never thought she’d witness from Sweetie Belle. The little unicorn’s tears had a way of softening her heart more than her own anger had a way of hardening it. “Please don’t beat up Diamond Tiara, Apple Bloom,” whimpered Sweetie Belle. “Cheerilee did – and look where it got her. I don’t want violence to take you away from us, too. Beating up Diamond Tiara is either gonna get you expelled or arrested or both and it won’t get Miss Cheerilee her job back. And what if Silver Spoon decides to get back at you for it by attacking you, huh? Or what if she attacks Scootaloo? Or me? If Silver Spoon breaks one of my legs, are you gonna break two of hers? And then will Diamond Tiara break three of Scootaloo’s? Violence only creates more violence!” “Says the filly who gets violent with me every other day,” said Scootaloo. “I’m talking, dodo!” growled a frowning Sweetie Belle as she turned her head to face Scootaloo and shook her forehoof at her. “Interrupt me again and I’ll wallop you.” She relaxed her expression and returned her attention to Apple Bloom. “You’re hurting. I’m hurting, too... probably worse than either of you guys. I love Miss Cheerilee. She was the best teacher ever and I'm gonna miss her... but no matter how much any of us loved her, she crossed a line that nopony should ever cross. I won’t let anger take control of somepony else I love if I can help it. I don’t want to see anypony else get hurt. After sitting through that horsewhipping, I’ve had my fill of violence.” “You had your eyes covered during the horsewhipping almost the whole time,” noted Scootaloo after waiting for Sweetie Belle to finish her thought. “So?” asked Sweetie Belle, turning her head once again to face Scootaloo. “I still sat through it.” Apple Bloom averted her eyes, inhaled deeply and released her breath with a huffy sigh. “If you’re asking me ta forgive her,” said Apple Bloom, “then you’re wastin’ yer time. But... if you’re askin’ me ta let her off the hook... then... ah’ll do it just this once – fer you.” “Thanks,” said Sweetie Belle. She stood up and gave Apple Bloom a warm hug which was returned in kind. Scootaloo’s sappy sentiment detector went off and she slowly sidled out of reach so as not to draw attention to herself. “Sometimes ah think yer love could prevent a war,” said Apple Bloom, grinning as she still held Sweetie Belle in her forelegs. “How do you know that that isn’t what just happened?” asked Sweetie Belle rhetorically as a smile lingered on her face from the compliment. She caught sight of Scootaloo out of the corner of her eye and she frowned at her emotionally distant pegasus friend. “Well, this sure feels depressingly familiar. Get over here, poodle noodle!” “I don’t do happy hugs,” said Scootaloo, closing her eyes and stretching her wings. “They clash with my awesomeness.” “I'll remember to tell Rainbow Dash that the next time I see her.” “That was so funny I forgot to laugh.” Sweetie Belle released Apple Bloom and continued her walk down the road that would lead them to the fork where Apple Bloom would turn to head back to Sweet Apple Acres. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom followed. “Hey,” said Apple Bloom. “What if we start a petition ta raise awareness o’ what happened ta Miss Cheerilee? The outpour o’ support might help ta get her cleared o’ criminal charges. Ah know it’s a long shot but ah can’t just sit around doin’ nothin’.” “Nothing involving Diamond Tiara will get printed in the Ponyville Express, remember?” asked Scootaloo. “Miss Cheerilee’s firing involved Diamond Tiara in a big way.” “Ah know that. Ah was thinking o’ goin’ door-to-door.” Scootaloo shook her head. “They’d want to know what got Miss Cheerilee angry enough to snap,” she said, “and we’d have to explain how Diamond Tiara spilled the beans about Miss Cheerilee’s surgery. It would get everypony on her side but then we’d be the ones spilling the beans about her surgery. I don’t think that’s our story to tell any more than it was Diamond Tiara’s.” “And I don’t think public opinion even matters in cases like this,” said Sweetie Belle. “Filthy Rich will press charges against Miss Cheerilee no matter what anypony says.” “Dang it,” mumbled Apple Bloom. “Well, it’s a last resort... but ah think it’s time we swallow our Crusader pride an’ talk ta our big sisters and honorary big sister. If there’s a solution ta this problem, ah want it no matter where it comes from.” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nodded. They frowned as they caught sight of one another. “We do not agree on things more often than we disagree on them,” said Scootaloo. “Yes, we do,” said Sweetie Belle. “No, we don’t.” “Yes, we do.” “No, we don’t.” “Guys! Can’t y’all just agree ta disagree?” asked Apple Bloom. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle replied to Apple Bloom’s question simultaneously with a yes and a no respectively. Apple Bloom hung her head and pined for the company of her favorite cousin Babs, the least annoying Cutie Mark Crusader. Mayor Mare peeked through the window blinds of Cheerilee’s house for the hundredth time, wondering how much longer the covered wagon that she had sent her pegasus associates to summon for her would take to arrive. She was looking after Cheerilee who was lying motionless on the couch. The former teacher stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. “Well,” said Mayor Mare as she walked away from the window, “Filthy Rich will definitely be withdrawing his contribution for my reelection campaign next year for not having his daughter’s attacker arrested – but I don’t care. Right now, you need counseling from trained professionals more than you need a holding cell.” “Actually,” said Cheerilee grimly, “I need food more than anything. I skipped breakfast and now I’m starved.” “You just lie there and relax. I’ll make you something to eat with what you have available here in your kitchen.” “Don’t bother. I’m in the mood for a Hayburger.” Cheerilee sat up slowly. “And you’ll get what I make for you.” Mayor Mare approached Cheerilee and held out her right forehoof. “Please lie back down. Mayor’s orders.” Cheerilee frowned. “So I’m under house arrest, am I?” asked Cheerilee as she returned to the couch. “Try not to think of it that way. Think of it as... a daytime slumber party for two.” Cheerilee closed her eyes. “Oh, how wonderful!” she declared sarcastically. “A slumber party! We can have s’mores and give each other makeovers and tell scary stories. Have you heard the one about the terrifying teacher who assaulted the children of two of the wealthiest ponies in Equestria, did seven years of hard time and had no job, family or residence waiting for her when she got out?” “Cheerilee...” “Well, it’s very scary; the scariest one I know.” “You’re not going to jail.” “So you say. Who are these trained professionals that are supposedly going to help me, anyway?” “There’s a top notch facility by the name of Bluegrass Groves. You’ll have counselors keeping an eye on you twenty-four seven. I took a tour around the grounds myself. It’s absolutely gorgeous; as green and peaceful as a public park. You’ll receive the finest treatment available. They’ll give you the help you need... and best of all, it won’t cost you a cent. I’ve got you covered.” Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been in Ponyville all my life,” she said, “and I’ve never heard of a retreat called Bluegrass Groves.” Mayor Mare hesitated. “I’m... not surprised that you haven’t heard of it. It’s in... Hoofington, actually.” Cheerilee’s eyes grew wide. “Hoofington?” she asked. Her brow lowered as she understood what was going on. “A nuthouse. Bluegrass Groves is a nuthouse. You’re having me institutionalized. I can’t believe this.” “What do you want me to do, Cheer? Pretend that I didn’t witness you asphyxiating a foal whose behind you beat bloody? I am your friend... and I am trying my best to help you but, dear Celestia, you sure as manure did not throw me an easy one. You assaulted Diamond Tiara with an intent to kill and you injured Silver Spoon. That poor filly was frantic with worry when I found her. Some ruffians even took advantage of her impaired vision by touching her inappropriately.” “More action than I’ve had.” “That is not even remotely funny. The Cheerilee I knew would be ashamed of herself for making light of a filly being sexually molested.” Mayor Mare fiddled with her collar as she averted her eyes. “She... told me why you snapped. I had heard that Filthy Rich’s little girl had a mean streak in her but I had no idea. There is a bright side to this mess, however. The hospital has a responsibility to protect a pony’s personal medical information so as to keep somepony from using it against them maliciously the way Diamond Tiara did. I know a very good lawyer. He’ll serve the hospital with a lawsuit on your behalf. The case is too open and shut for it to go to court. You’ll receive a settlement for your pain and suffering. I couldn’t tell you if it will be large enough for you to be set for life but it should be substantial enough to-” “Substantial enough for me to start a new life in Hoofington and disappear from the collective memory of Ponyville voters,” said Cheerilee. “Bluegrass Groves doesn’t sound like an inexpensive establishment. You say you’re helping me but who are you really helping by sending me there?” Mayor Mare swallowed and shifted her jaw. “You want me to give it to you straight? Fine. I’m a public servant, Cheer. I mean no disrespect by saying so but my job is a little more high profile than that of a schoolteacher, even one as decorated as yourself. You know I can’t be seen sipping tea and eating cakes with a known out-of-control foal abuser. You’re a careermare-” “Correction: I was a careermare.” “Fair enough. You were a careermare. You know that my image is crucial to my position. When my constituents find out that I spirited you away rather than contact a law enforcement officer, it would be a modern day miracle if they don’t move to impeach me. By showing you favoritism, I may have already put my political career in jeopardy. I couldn’t stop you from throwing your career away but please don’t fault me for wanting to protect my own.” “I'm not leaving Ponyville, Anita.” “Yes, you are. And when you finally grasp the reality of this situation as any adult would be able to do, you’ll see that you don’t have much choice in the matter. The voters have had a pretty firm stance against having a prison constructed in Ponyville even before my first term so I’ve vetoed the construction of one every time it passes my desk. When you’re tried, I'll have no choice but to appear on the witness stand and testify against you. And when you're convicted, which I guarantee will happen, you’ll be taken from Ponyville and sent to a prison in either Baltimare or Fillydelphia. So, yes, Cheerilee, by hook or by crook, you are leaving Ponyville. It’s just a matter of how you want to do it." Mayor Mare abandoned her sterner tone in favor of a gentler one. "But I don’t want you to go to prison and I doubt that you want to go there. The Bluegrass Groves staff are on their way to this house as we speak. It would break my heart to see them have to subdue you and put you in a straitjacket so when they arrive, please just go with them peacefully. Once you’re in their custody, the Ponyville police won’t be able to extradite you. In time, you might be given a clean bill of mental health and they’ll release you.” “And how long will that take? A month? Two? Five? A year? Several years?” “Your recovery time is entirely up to you. The doctors there have the most successful track record in all of Equestria. I just know they’ll have you back to your old self in no time. But once you’re released... I’m afraid that Ponyville will be off limits to you. I’m paying the bill for your recovery out of my own pocket. If you start over in a new town, I would consider that debt paid in full.” Cheerilee closed her eyes. Before long, she would either have to surrender her freedom or have it taken from her by force. She took in a breath of sweet free air, held it for a moment, and then released it. “Will you at least visit me while I’m in recovery?” she asked. Mayor Mare hesitated. “I... don’t know,” she said. “Maybe I can later. I want to say yes but I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep. But I’ll write you every day. That much I can promise.” “Ah, the stage magic of friendship,” scoffed Cheerilee. Mayor Mare snorted. “That’s not fair, Cheer! You know that I wish I could do more – I truly do – but under the circumstances, this is the best that I can manage without soiling my own nest. To be perfectly blunt, apart from prison, you have no other options. So. You and I are going to sit here like two civilized mares and enjoy each other’s company until the Bluegrass Groves wagon shows up to escort you to their facility. End. Of. Discussion. Now, how about that food? I’m getting a bit hungry myself.” Mayor Mare opened up Cheerilee’s refrigerator and rummaged through the food items to see what she could make. She found a loaf of bread and a carton of duck eggs. She removed it from the refrigerator and held the carton up for Cheerilee to see. “How do you like your eggs?” Cheerilee flinched. Eggs. “I wouldn’t know,” said Cheerilee pointedly. “I’ve never had any before.” Wounded by the verbal jab that her friend took at her, Mayor Mare’s eyes opened wide and she blinked as she stared into Cheerilee’s eyes. In all the years they had been friends, Cheerilee had never once blamed Mayor Mare for the injury that claimed her fertility. Until now. “Would you like to know what I have had?” continued Cheerilee. She rose from the couch and walked to the kitchen where she opened the door to one of the higher cabinets. She removed a small orange vial with a white cap from the shelf. She placed it on her kitchen table and looked at Mayor Mare. “These. I have had to put one of these horse pills down my throat every morning since I was a foal just so that I could grow up with a libido like any other normal young mare. Without them, I would have no sex drive and my vagina would be as dry as the San Palomino Desert.” “Cheer, I-” “But this is just the star of the show.” Cheerilee’s voice took on a chipper tone which was obviously staged for sarcasm. “Let me introduce you to the supporting cast which I’ve also had to swallow ad nauseum.” Cheerilee returned to her cabinet and gathered over a dozen more vials of various sizes, examining them as she cradled them in her forelegs before setting each one on the table as she spoke. “Let’s see,” she said. “This one’s for the headaches that the first one gives me, this one’s for nausea, this one’s for lowering my high blood pressure, this one’s to fight osteoporosis, this one's for my iron poor blood, this one’s for the depression that comes from taking all of them, this one’s for helping me get to sleep and this one – you know, I don't even remember what this one is supposed to do but I’m told that I should take it... so I do. Why not, right? What’s one more tablet? I’m Cheerilee, the happiest, sweetest, most accommodating mare in Ponyville. I do what I’m told.” Cheerilee growled as she flipped the table, sending the vials of medicine flying through the air and clattering on to the floor. Mayor Mare grimaced and stepped out of the way of the table as it rolled across the kitchen floor on its edge. “Bluegrass Groves will provide these for me during my stay,” shouted Cheerilee, “but once I’m released and my settlement money runs out, how the rut am I supposed to afford all of these Celestia damned drugs without my insurance or my job?!” She walked back to the couch and laid back down with a worried scowl on her face. Her chest rose and fell as ragged breaths raced through her nostrils. Her eyes began to glisten with tears as she pouted. “My meds make me miserable – but I’m not a mare without them.” Mayor Mare walked over to Cheerilee. “Cheer,” said Mayor Mare. “I know that you’ve had an extremely stressful day but please listen to me.” The mayor spoke slowly and carefully. “I was once a very immature and ignorant little foal who carried a chip on her shoulder the size of Equestria because she didn’t have a mother or father. I hated myself. I didn’t know how to cope with my anger and sadness so I picked on you and anypony else I thought I could get away with pushing around. After the accident, when you and I buried the hatchet thirtysomething years ago, you swore to me that you wouldn’t hold your injury against me. I don’t mean to throw this in your face but since you insist on digging up the past, I distinctly remember you saying that it was your own fault for attacking me first and sending us tumbling down that hill. With all due respect, it is unrealistic and unfair of you to hold something against me to this day that happened back when we were eight years old! I will always regret my actions during that time in my life as well as what those actions wound up costing you – but I am through apologizing for them. The filly responsible for those actions is long gone and in her place is a mature adult who loves you and cares about you. So I beg of you... please don’t try to hurt me with guilt... and for Celestia’s sake, please don’t refuse the help that I’m offering you.” Cheerilee sniffled. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered as she wiped her eyes. “Don’t listen to me, Anita. I’m just being a big baby. You’re right. I have had a stressful day. I’m scared. I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel I’m in and I’m scared to death. You win. I'll do it your way. I could use a respite to get my head together... and Bluegrass Groves does sound lovely. I appreciate you sticking your neck out for me as far as you have. I should be showing you some gratitude and here I am taking out my frustrations on you. I had no right to bring up my injury to try to hurt you. I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?” Mayor Mare grinned. “I already have, Cheer,” she replied. “I only want you to get better.” The two friends hugged as Cheerilee sniffled. “Tell you what,” said Cheerilee, clearing her throat and swallowing. “Why don’t I make us some food while you pick up the mess from my temper tantrum?” “Sounds like a plan,” said Mayor Mare with a grin. “What would you like to eat?" asked Cheerilee as she walked toward the stove. "I’ve got cereal, toast... I could even make an omelet.” “Ehh... Surprise me.” After setting the table back on its legs, Mayor Mare started picking the vials up from the floor with her mouth and set them back on the table top one by one. By the time she had placed the sixth vial on the table, the back of Mayor Mare’s head met suddenly and violently with a heavy iron skillet that Cheerilee swung at her. The mayor collapsed onto the kitchen floor with a thud. Cheerilee returned the skillet to the nail sticking out of the wall next to the other skillets she had suspended there. “Surprise,” said Cheerilee with an ice cold frown. “I’m. Not. Leaving. Ponyville. I’m not going out with a whimper; not when I can go out with a...” Cheerilee cut herself off. “...stallion...” The word left Cheerilee’s mouth with a moment of clarity behind it followed by a dollop of inspiration. Her mouth hung open and she furrowed her brow as her eyes darted about, looking at nothing in particular. She shifted her jaw and her eyes slowly grew wide as though she had just stumbled across an idea and was working out its logistics. A mischievous smile kidnapped her features, making her look cherubic and devilish simultaneously. “It could work,” she said. “I've certainly got nothing to lose. Enjoy your nap, Anita. I think I’ll go for a walk. Don’t wait up for me.” Cheerilee galloped for the door, opened it, and ran out as fast as she could. Helping Hoof, assistant manager for the Ponyville location of Rich's Barnyard Bargains, was taking down an empty freestanding shelf display in the middle of the store as dozens of customers passed by. He had worked with these displays hundreds of times and they never got any easier to disassemble for some reason. He looked to his left and saw the familiar face of a stallion who was approaching him. “Mr. Rich!" said Helping Hoof. "Hi! It’s good to see you, sir.” “Likewise, Helping Hoof," said Filthy Rich. "How are you?” “Good, and you?" "If I was any better, I'd be twins. Heh heh heh heh." "I didn't know that we were on your visitation list today.” “Oh, I’m not, officially. I just thought I’d step out of the office and drop by to see how things were going... maybe help out a bit. The Ponyville location was my first store so I have a soft spot in my heart for the old gal. It can get annoying to follow a tour schedule so rigidly. None of my secretaries or office employees even know where I am right now. I kind of like it that way sometimes; know what I mean?” “Of course. We all like our independence.” “I took a look at your last quarter’s reports and I saw that your sales figures and customer satisfaction rates are still way above our minimum requirements. The highest in the region, to be exact.” “Yes, sir. I’ve got a great crew, Mr. Rich. They’re happy to be here and I’m happy to have them.” “That’s splendid. Say, I don’t suppose you’d happen to know if any of your crew are lactose intolerant.” “I don’t believe so. Why do you ask?” “Because I placed an order for ten pizza pies for everypony’s lunch. The delivery pony should be by with them come noon.” “Wow, that’s awful generous of you, Mr. Rich.” “It’s nothing, really. It’s just a small token of my appreciation for the fine job you all do for the company.” “Well, thank you very much, Mr. Rich. I’m sure we’ll all enjoy them.” “Good, good. You know I’m always happy to boost morale whenever I can. Keeping my employees happy is an important part of creating a positive shopping experience for our customers.” “I just wish I knew that you were coming so that I could have gotten an earlier start on this revision. Right now, it looks – well, messy.” “Oh, you know, that’s all right. Here, let me help. I used to manage a retail outlet myself for my father’s store back in my younger days and I know how things can get. One can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs." The store's PA system paged for Helping Hoof to help out at the registers. "You go ahead and get that," said Filthy Rich. "I'll take this beast apart for you." "Thanks, Mr. Rich. I'll be back soon." Filthy Rich slowly removed the last bit of stubborn framework for the display and when he removed the paneling, he saw none other than Miss Cheerilee, his daughter's teacher, standing behind it. She was smiling and Filthy Rich returned that smile the best that he could. “Why, hello there, Miss Cheerilee!" he said. "Welcome to Rich’s Barnyard Bargains. Uh, isn’t... school still in session?” “A substitute teacher is taking over for me," said Cheerilee. "I’m feeling a little... off today.” “Oh, I see. I’m sorry to hear that... but it is such a pleasant surprise to see you here.” “Thank you. You know something, Mr. Rich? It would have been inappropriate of me to tell you during your visit at Family Appreciation Day a while back but I find you to be a very handsome stallion.” “Why, Miss Cheerilee, I do believe that you’re trying to make me blush.” Cheerilee giggled in response. “I understand that you’re a bachelor,” she said. The vitality drained from Filthy Rich's face as he recalled the details surrounding his bachelorhood. “Yes, that’s right," he said in a less enthusiastic tone than before. "My uhh... my wife and I separated just a few years after Diamond Tiara was born." He cast his eyes downward as he spoke. "It’s still a bit of a sore subject, actually.” “I’m so sorry," said Cheerilee. "I didn’t mean to upset you.” “That’s all right." His mood picked up from where it left off earlier. "My marriage may have been a bust but because of it, I’ve been blessed with a lovely daughter.” “Ooh, yes, she’s... quite lovely.” “Listen, Miss Cheerilee..." Filthy Rich looked from side to side to see if anypony was listening to the conversation. "I hope you understand that I did what I had to do to get my daughter out of trouble with the law. I heard that the girl who lost her life in the train accident was very special to you. I trust there are no hard feelings?” “Oh, no, I understand completely. It’s what I would do for my own child if I... had one. I'll miss her but I still have plenty of other wonderful students such as your daughter to nurture into bright, promising young adults. You must love her very much.” “Keeping her happy is why I work so hard every day. Everything you see here is all for her. Now, is there anything I can help you find? I’d be happy to help you myself. I’ve got all the time in the world. I haven’t got all the money in the world – but I’m working on that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!” “Ha ha ha ha ha! Ahhhhhhh. You are so funny. And yes, I would love your help. I’m looking for an earth pony stallion.” “Is he employed here? I can page him for you.” Cheerilee shook her head. “He’s not an employee,” she said. “I’ll describe him for you.” Cheerilee placed her right forehoof up to the top of Filthy Rich’s head. “He’s about this tall...” She placed both of her forehooves on either side of his shoulders. “He’s about this wide...” She set her forehooves back down and brandished a pair of disarming bedroom eyes. “He’s very handsome... he’s a bachelor... he’s got all the time in the world... and he’d be very happy to take a lonely, single mare to a hotel for a few hours and show her a good time. Do you have an earth pony stallion here matching that description, Mr. Rich?” asked Cheerilee, batting her eyelashes and grinning like a vixen in a chicken coop. Filthy Rich gulped and cleared his throat. “As a matter of fact, I do," he replied with a wide smile. "We here at Rich’s Barnyard Bargains aim to please our customers any way we can.” “Satisfaction...” “...guaaarannnteeeed.” Cheerilee and Filthy Rich headed toward the exit when Cheerilee suddenly stopped short. “Oh,” she muttered as she looked behind her with a look of concern. She patted her saddlebag as if to assess whether or not it contained something she needed. “Is something wrong?” asked Filthy Rich. “You know, I meant to pick up a few things for the house... but I seem to have left my wallet in my other saddlebag at home. Is there any way that you could spot me for them? I’m good for it – and I’d be ever so grateful.” She nuzzled Filthy Rich's neck affectionately with her snout. “W-What kind of gentlestallion would I be if I didn’t help out the occasional damsel in distress? What did you need?” “A livestock shackle, some duct tape – and a croquet mallet.” “I happen to know exactly where all three of those items are located. Wait right here and I’ll be back in two shakes.” Cheerilee grinned as Filthy Rich galloped off to collect the items that she requested. When he was out of sight, the grin melted from her face. If all went according to plan, this would be an afternoon that the father of the filly who ruined her life – as well as the other residents of Ponyville – would not soon forget. “Is Mr. Rich here?” asked a Barnyard Bargains employee. “He was but he just left,” said Helping Hoof. “You missed him by a few minutes.” “Do you know where he went?” “No. I think he left with some mare. Why?” “His daughter was attacked in school earlier today. She’s been injured and the authorities have been trying to get in touch with him to let him know.” “But she’s still alive?” “Yeah. I think so.” “Too bad. That brat of his is a spoiled rotten bitch. If I wouldn’t get fired or arrested for it, I’d kick her plot myself. Oh, hey, we’ve got free pizza coming at noon.” “Sweet!”