Dark. I remember an orange glow coming from outside Crystal Oaks... Enar, I swear on Equestria that I'll make you pay... You'll suffer tenfold the pain you've caused here in Ponyville... Alex, you there? I... I need to know what this "Shard" could be... Is that just a property of an Element, or... Ugh, it's so damn annoying!
Careful. At this rate, you might lose yourself in Enars personality.
It wasn't his fucking personality to begin with, Alex! He was an accident, just like my being here was an accident! His personality was there to keep me from going on enraged rampages, and yelling constantly! That's why you and Joe exist, to keep my mind balanced and prevent me from slipping in the human world! Now all of that shit is gone!
Okay, okay! Sorry, I just thought you'd want a little warning for once. So now you can easily access your anger, huh? That's... Weird. I mean, you should've had full access to it before. You've always had access to my intelligence, but... Perhaps Enar resisted letting you tap into that anger, and-
I don't give a damn! I just want to see him suffer, to show his ass who's truly meant to be in control! I... I... I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from! I sort of... Lost myself... So, any idea what a "Shard" of an Element of Chaos is?
There is a small possibility that it is a portion of a stone meant to be the exact opposite of an Element of Harmony. If the Stone Forms of the Elements shattered, they would leave shards throughout the land. How something could absorb one is another question in a whole. It would take a very destructive magical force to contain a Chaotic Shard, which is what that book was saying. From past events, I'd say that your shard is... Depression, Ajil. That's my best guess. Now you may also be wielding anger, due to Enar abandoning us as he did. With that much lack of warning, he was likely acting without thinking of the condition your life would be left in. Then, to burn Ponyville as he did... He will suffer, Ajil, for we will attain revenge, but I'm afraid we can't face him yet.
What?! Why not!? He's my creation, isn't he? A part of me, something that I'm supposed to control!
That may be true, but... It appears as though he has a much greater affinity for learning to master magic than you do, as he had casted a spell to escape your body. In fact, it is one that few can perform, if I recall hearing what he said correctly. He was talking to Discord about it, and Discord only told him so much. I don't think he knew what would happen to you until after he used that spell... I have to warn you though, that spell doesn't have a time limit. Unless Enar willingly decides to return to your mind, you won't be able to trap him again.
Depression, huh? That is what you said, after all... I know now I can't take Enar on, so I have to focus on this... I get it. Makes sense that I have depression, after all this shit. I guess I have to accept it... I... I am the Shard known as Depression. Doesn't sound to great, honestly. Who am I kidding, it sounds horrible. Wish this would end.
"Nnngh..." I groan, sitting up in a bed... I'm in my room in Crystal Oaks, still... And I am the Shard known as Depression...
"Well, this won't be fun. I have to admit, I'm shocked Enar went through with such a ridiculous spell, and then to burn Ponyville down... I thought he knew better. Oh well, that'll just make this year that much more interesting," Discord said with a sly smirk while looking at me, his arms crossed.
I look around and see a letter on a nightstand... It looks sorta sloppy, almost like it was either cried on or rained on... Oh yeah, the rain last night... I reach over to it and stop due to one hell of a sharp ass pain shooting throughout my entire right arm, and causing me to recoil. Discord sighs and hands me the letter, written in italics...
To All Citizens of Ponyville,
Due to recent events, we will be having a gathering in memory of the lives taken two days ago, by Enar. Enars origin is still unknown, but we intend to ask Ajil more questions as soon as he is in well health. Despite the efforts of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, many lives were lost, and numerous more were scarred. According to Applejack, Ajil is the one who had been desperately urging them to stop Enar, which was why they had reacted so quickly. Ajil was then left in the Crystal Oaks Library, and when he was found, he had appeared to have been slightly burnt around the neck. He seemed to be quickly recovering, though it is uncertain as too when he will be well enough for any visitors who are not close friends, family, or those of official authority. When he wakes, he will likely need several weeks to recover, as he has been struggling to cope with the fact that he can not go back to his world, as there is no currently known way for him to do so. This is the Ponyville Mayor Mare, signing off.
That... But... What...? "Though... It's all my fault, though... I should've been able to stop him... I'm pathetic... What did I ever do to deserve this kind of suffering? Why? Give me a reason, damn it... Please... Oh, god, why...? If I had kept him under stricter rules then maybe... I could've prevented this... These deaths... Why, please... I... I..."
"Relax, Ajil. This was Enar's decision, not yours. You, my dear disciple, are not responsible for anything except for attempting to carry a burden on your own, a mistake that even ponies make on occasion. I'm certain you're aware of Applejack's attempt to harvest all of Apple Acres on her own. That is very similar to what you did. You had opportunities for help, and you decided that you didn't need it. Being wrong is a part of being a pony, or in your case, a human. Now, all you need to do is accept the fact that you bear the Shard of Depression, and I can begin training you my way. I'm not sure if you'd prefer it over the whole 'week in a minute' ordeal, but who knows? A lot of things happen to change our fates, it seems. I would never have dreamed to see another human roam Equestria," Discord said, smirking at the end as he knew he had got my attention by saying I'm not the first human in Equestria... Then there is a small hope for my sad ass...
Accept that I'm the Shard of Depression? He's kidding himself. Hell, doing that would probably be damn near impossible. Though... Maybe it wouldn't be... Now that I think about what I've been thinking... Yeah, that sounds really accurate... Fuck my life, I am the Shard of Depression, aren't I? Shit...
"I see. Ajil, your training will begin when you are able to walk around Ponyville ten times without any form of aid. I expect that today's news has not been for the best in your mind, so I think I'll cut it down a bit... Yes, eight times travelling directly through Ponyville. That way you can answer the questions so many ponies want to ask you. I warn you now though," Discord said, his face suddenly serious, and a grim look upon his face... Holy shit, that is terrifying... "The ponies that Enar scarred, elder, adult, teen, perhaps even a young child in your terms, may be petrified upon seeing your face. There are enough similarities that a small detail such as eye color won't stop their fear, their flashbacks. I'd suggest you give them a wide berth, for your own safety," Discord finished, swirling out of existence with a white flash and a small pop!
That... That isn't good, is it? Alex, any help on that?
'Fraid not. Discord was being dead serious, which is something he just doesn't do. I doubt he'd joke about something like fear, too... I'd say it's safe to say he's had to deal with his fair share of fear, Ajil... So to him, it isn't something to joke around about. And with that look, I'd say you should trust him. We've seen him try to look serious before, and even if it's slightly, hew still puts a joke in it. He didn't here. So we have no other choice but to go off of what he said. I think that only Princess Celestia or Princess Luna could have seen that before.
Right... The next time we might see either of them is something that I'm unsure of... I... It is my fault... There isn't a way that it isn't... All of their suffering... I... I... I deserve the suffering I've put them through... That Enar put them through... They didn't deserve it, it was my fault... It was my mistake, so why the fuck punish these innocent ponies?! Why, why make them suffer a pain they aren't prepared for?!
Huh? What's that faint rumbling no-... Oh, shit... This isn't good...
I look around to see the hospital walls cracking and crumbling, water eroding them to a fragile level that cannot support the weight of the hospital... Did I do this? A could feeling overcomes my body, and ice walls replace the eroded stone walls... They won't last... I need some help... How do I signal... Of course!
I focus and force my Magical Lantern to materialize, and using the flame, I quickly send a letter, written on the back of the town news...
Twilight, help me out! The hospital is collapsing! was all I was capable of writing. I hope it's enough to get them here quickly... Is my... Vision fading...? It is... No, no no, not now!
I watch as the roof falls towards me, and my vision blackens at the last second, but I can still hear... I hear what sounds like the Bearers yelling, and talking to one another, and then... Silence... I don't think I'm dead, but... I might be a bit traumatized by that event... Ah, that doesn't matter...
I wake up in a familiar bed... The bed at Crystalline Oaks... But why? Haven't they figured it out? I'm a damned fool... It's all my fault they died... I...
I have to get a hold of myself... I almost lost myself to that Shard... Alex, you alright?
Yeah, but try not to use that Shard that much... You damn near froze my section of your mind! Oh, er... Sorry for yelling at'chya. I kinda got carried away...
No, it's fine, trust me. I've done worse to you... So, how do you suppose we explain this to the Bearers? If Twilight hasn't already explained, that is... I hope they still trust me... I mean, they have a right to be cautious, but... This isn't a road I can travel alone... I... I can't have their help, though... This is my problem... I have to solve it myself, but... I don't know if I can... Why the fuck am I going through this torture?
A-Ajil, it's g-getting pr-pretty c-cold in h-here...
What use am I if I contradict myself? I'm nothing but a hypocrite... I deserve to suffer...
Ajil!!! Stop, god, please stop!
I don't deserve help... I must bear through this alone... It's all my fault... I could've stopped this... I shouldn't be so stupid... I... I don't deserve to have a place to stay... Not just given to me like this... I should have to work my ass off for something like this... I... Don't deserve... Anything...
Ajil! Good god, Ajil, would you stop!? Please, stop, stop now while you caaa-
I... Huh? Why is it so... Cold...
I look around to see the entire room was frozen over with ice, spreading as fast as water constantly leaking through the roof, filling the room to a point where I could see only one thing; ice. I... Can't breathe... Help... Help! Help! Please, help me! Help me, plea-... Wait, why should they? I deserve this...
I continue to see the light fade, until everything is black... I sit up, in what seems like a pitch black space, the floor refraining from appearing... Is this my conscious?
"Guuuh!" I gasp, feeling and seeing the ice lift off of my chest. Staring down at me is a familiar face... Who is that pony? I should know her... I can't see clearly, though... The light is blinding me... It hurts so much, but... It feels good to breathe...
"Are you alright? I came running as soon as I saw ice flowing down the stairwell!" I hear Twilight's voice, though it isn't matched with the mouth on the pony staring down at me... Perhaps it's just that the light is fucking with my vision...
"I... I'm fine," I lie... I think I'm going to be doing that a lot now. I can't see her expression... I'll have to go off of tone to try to understand how she's feeling... This shit always happens to me...
"Ajil, this entire room was filled with solid ice... If you don't want to talk about it, fine, just say so. You don't have to lie; we're friends, right?" Twilight said, sounding like she was politely forgiving me for lying... Friends? N-no... I... I'm just... I...
"Y-yeah... We're friends..." I say, feeling tears stream down my face... I'm pathetic... I'm so weak, I shouldn't be crying like this! I should prove my strength... I know! I'll beat her at a-
Ajil, calm your ass this fucking second!
Whoa... Thanks, Alex... You're a fucking life saver... If I went through with trying to beat Twilight in a magic duel, I'm pretty sure I'd die... Where the hell did I even get such a stupid idea?! Damn it, I wish Enar would've stayed so he could hold these things in for me... It's the only reason I was glad he existed... I... I have to stay focused!
"Equestria to Ajil! Oh, good, your listening now. I'll be downstairs if you need me... I don't think you're well enough for any visitors yet, but I'll see if the my other friends want to visit," Twilight said, smiling while closing her eyes towards the end, her wings flapping in a perfect rhythm to allow her to maintain her balance in the air, and her magic melting the last of the ice... I love having my vision back. Heh, she looks like something you'd see on deviant art or in a painting.
She flies towards the door, opens it with her magic, flies out, and closes the door softly behind her... Using her magic... Magic... Huh. Strange thought; what would happen if Equestria had no magic? Er... Let's not think about that...
I don't remember falling asleep. All I know, is that right now, this very moment, I can feel a hand on my for-head... And it isn't mine... "Who's there?!" I shout, jumping up and summoning Sorrow into my right hand, clenching the hilt with both... It's too dark to see...
"I see that you have great reaction time, Ajil. I wonder, will that aid you in your battle against Enar?" The voice spoke, it's voice sounding like an echo of the real one... It's hard to try to figure out who's voice it belongs too. It could be a guy or a chick, hell if I know... "Hahaha! Ajil, I am not something that most would dare to threaten... Your courage may be a good attribute in the future... You'll need it. Of course, there are times that it will be your downfall," the voice continued.
"What are you?! There's no way you're human, that's for sure! Show yourself! Now!" I shout, attempting to anger the being enough to get it to show itself.
"Oh, boo-hoo, you don't know who or what I am... I have to admit, I didn't expect you to be that idiotic. In fact, if I truly desired it, I could end your life this very second," the voice said, causing my heart to skip a beat of fear, and I felt all of my muscles freeze as the voice continued, "Now, ending your life now would be boring. I have to have my fun, don't I? After you battle Enar, Equestria will have a new leader, or Celestia will resume her rein of glory. I know, you're confused. I'll tell you a secret, Ajil. Perhaps one? No, two. It has to be two. After all, that will be after the first... Few challenges. A part of me is rooting for you, Ajil. I like watching events unfurl, and I truly don't like to intervene. Though, if I'm pushed, I will. Then there's that part of me that is disgusted... Why you, another human, should be in Equestria is beyond my knowledge. I wonder what the Fates have in store for you, my fellow human," the voice finished.
Just... Wow... I feel Sorrow crumble in my hands, chunks thudding on the floor below me, which sends bright, white, glowing streaks through to the outside of my room, and I hear a loud POP! with a magenta flash, and I hear Twilight gasping behind me... I can't move... I... I could die at any second... To that... Thing... I'm just entertainment... What...?
"Ajil! Are you alright? I... Ajil?" I hear Twilight ask... I'm still standing still, ready for battle, though I'm not holding a sword... "Ajil!? Are you okay, please, tell me!?" I hear Twilight ask...
"I... A-... I'm not harmed, but... But... Didn't you hear it?" I ask, now able to speak, and slowly regaining my ability to move...
"Hear what? Ajil, please, tell me! For those lines to show up..." Twilight stopped herself, but her voice was filled with concern...
"There was a voice, it... It sounded as though it was an... An echo, and I couldn't figure out who it might've belonged too... It had said... It had said I am a fellow human... Meaning... I'm not the first human here... Twilight... I think I'm going to need your help..." I say, and I can feel the grim look spreading across my face. I'm able to move, so I turn to Twilight and continue with "Will you help me, Twilight? Help me find out who the first human in Equestria was?" I ask. It's a pretty big favor, which explains why she has to pause to consider the question...
"I'll think about it... I'll look around my library, but I don't think I'll find much. Try not to wake up in the middle of the night on me again, please... Good night, Ajil," Twilight said, giving me a small smile as she walked out of the room. Thank god, some alone time... Well, close enough, right Alex?
Yeah... I'm still rattled by that voices comment... What should we call it? I don't really like just calling it 'The Voice' because it just sounds stupid.
Yeah, I agree... How about Echoe? I think that fits, with the way the voice was and all.
Yeah, that should work. I like it, too. Echoe, the sinister voice with no definable origin. Fits perfectly, right? I might have gone a bit overboard with that name... Oh well.
Yeah... I should sleep, though... Who knows when Discord intends on starting my training...
I had fallen asleep within seconds... I can see Ponyville being rebuilt, time and time again, and each time they get a house done, the materials used turn to ash... But the citizens of Ponyville are persistent, and they don't give up. They continue their efforts in vain. I know this is a dream, however, because it's all black and white, without any sign of color...
I woke to hearing Discord playing the trumpet, which for some reason sounded like a flute instead... Eh, best not to question it. He is Discord, after all. "'Mornin'," I say, conjuring up a plate of scrambled eggs and some bacon... That was easy.
I quickly eat the golden-yellow scrambled eggs and the crisp bacon strips, and cause my plate to vanish into thin air. "That," I say, "was a great breakfast... So, Discord, what's up?" I ask casually, looking for a pair of shoes.
"Not much. I was told to keep a closer eye on you, so what better way to do that than to start your training extra early," Discord explains as I realize that I don't have shoes here.
"Early, huh?" I ask, causing a pair of socks and shoes to manifest on my feet. The socks are plain, while the sneakers are black and plain with black laces. I use my magic to make the shoes tie themselves, making sure they don't entangle with one another. "So, I assume by early you mean now, right?" I ask, smirking as Discord nods to confirm my assumption.
I have to admit, I wasn't expecting to deal with other humans. All of them were people I knew, asking for help... They need me to return... "Good luck," Discord's voice booms throughout the land, and causes the images of those who I hold dear shimmer, and I realize that they are merely fakes. Upon my realization, the images fade, and I see that they are really zombies, all slowly prowling towards me, damn near silent.
"They're all... Fakes, huh? No matter what they look like, sound like, or act like to my eyes... They will always truly be zombies..." I tell myself, now aware that I'm in the Blank Plains from before. I watch as my friends and family die as they approach me, and I remain unable to help them. The only ones who aren't there are my friends who are ponies... That's kind of odd. But... I can see my brother losing his mind... Jazyline killing herself... I... I can't take it... "This has to end.... It has to end now!!!" I shout, unleashing a pulse that freezes everything in an instant, and the people who had surrounded me now appeared as frozen zombies, unable to move... Then, the ice shattered, removing the tormented faces from my mind.
"Well, Ajil... It seems you've passed the depression test much faster without Enar... Now, let me see how you fare against this," Discord says, and suddenly I'm inside Ponyville... Wait, what? Why?
I watch as a copy of Enar begins to burn down Ponyville, laughing crazily and shouting "This is true power, Ponyville! You will all suffer! Your small town has been left in peace for far too long! Did you think you could escape war by hiding behind the Elements of Harmony?! Ha! Not even they can stop me! Wait and see! Soon, I will rule your pathetic country! Ha, hahahaha!" I'll admit, that pissed me off, watching him say that while burning down buildings and trying to kill ponies...
I look around and see the Bearers charging towards him, but then the ground beneath them opens, and without giving them enough time to get out of the way, flames incinerate them... No... No... No!
"Enar... I'll make you suffer... I will show you the power sorrow and anger combined into one, a power you will never understand, Enar! I will show you how pathetic and weak you are!" I shout, creating Sorrow in my left hand and Despise in my right hand... Then I pull my right hand up and back, while pulling my left hand straight back.
I leap at a confused Enar, and slam the fire sword down on his head, which causes him to jump, then say "Did you really think fire could hurt one who uses it for a liv-" I cut him off by stabbing sorrow straight through where his heart would lie, which causes the images to fade, and I end up standing on an open plane once again. I feel Sorrow and Despise sort of 'merge' with my hands... It's really weird, mostly because there isn't any sign of the weapons doing so.
"Good. That should do for the day, Ajil. Now, it's time for you to explain the entire 'Shard' problem you have to the Bearers. Good luck, my disciple," Discord says, and I swear I can hear his smirk as he teleports me into a room on a chair in front of a couch, and sitting on that couch are the Bearers of the Elements.
"Whoa! You mustn't startle us like that, deary," Rarity begins, but I stop her by raising a hand, which causes her to react with "Oh, sorry."
"I am here to explain something to each of you. This is something that I may need your help with in the future, either near or far. I," I began, hoping to explain it quickly, "I am the Bearer of the Shard of Depression, and I intend to use it to maintain peace in Equestria," I finish saying, hoping I've made myself clear. From the grim looks they're all giving me, I'd assume I have... And that may not be a good thing.
"Ajil, the Shard of Depression is part of Pinkie's opposite. In fact, I'd say that it's a part of all of our opposites, almost like a side effect of our Element's opposites. Bearing that... It won't be easy, as you may not be able to receive help from one of us, but might need somepony else's help. I just want you to understand that," Twilight explained, sounding concerned, and her face gradually looking more and more the part.
"I understand completely. Another thing... I don't want any of you to become too attached to me. It isn't unlikely that I may lose control, and if that happens... I have one favor to ask if that happens. I want you all to stop me, no matter what happens afterwards... If you have to... If I have to die," I say, causing the Bearers of the Elements to all gasp simultaneously, "Then go through with it. If there isn't any other way, stop me. Even if it means I have to sacrifice my life... Stop me no matter the cost," I finish.
"Ajil... I... I don't know..." Twilight tried to start, but Applejack stopped her by putting a hoof over her shoulder, and they both nodded in understanding... Why does Twilight look like she might cry? Oh well, it doesn't matter...
"Ah thank Ah know what ya'll mean, Ahjil, but we just can't do somethin' like that. Ah'll make you a diff'rent promise, though," Applejack says, as though she can sense my sinking heart, "Ah'll make sure that Ah do what Ah can to bring ya'll back from whatever's caus'in ya'll tah rampage," Applejack finished, pulling her hat in front of her as she spoke. "Do we have ourselves here a deal?" Applejack asks, my response being a quick nod to say yes... But what if I don't want to come back?
Discord had put me through the same training exercise the next two days, and he told me this morning that he believes I deserve a break.
"Discord, I need to know how to defend myself, as well as learning some more improved combat spells. Come on, don't be like that!" I plead him to allow me to continue training.
"Ajil... I've noticed it. Have you?" Discord asks, and he vanishes into a smoke cloud that floats up and out of visibility.
"Noticed what?" I ask.