//------------------------------//
// A Fashionable Pony and Mind Controlling Drugs (Rewritten) 
// Story: Why Carrot Top Should Never Ever Write FanFiction Part Two: A Forced Romance 
// by Marciline 
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Ditzy came trotting along the road.
"La la la la! Oh my, what a beautiful day in Equestria! Don't you agree, Mr. Muffin?"
Sadly for Mr. Muffin, she bit off his head, tore off his paper shirt and pants, and raped him while disemboweling him. When the gruesome muffin murder was done, she threw the evidence onto a passing cloud.
Needless to say, Mrs. Muffin was brokenhearted when he did not come home that night, but moved on into a relationship with Miss Cupcake.
Ditzy landed into the remains of Octavia's house, and noted the strange presence of the raging T-Rex. And the fact that Octavia was missing a leg. Ditzy grimly murdered the T-Rex and used it's flesh to serve as a new leg for the sleeping mare. As any smart pony knows, the body and weapon must be disposed of promptly, so, Ditzy did so, which was why she was twenty minutes late.
Octavia woke up to the smell of a bonfire and faintly saw a pony dancing around manically while screaming, 
"Burn! Burn you squirming bringer of death! You shall not feast on the flesh of anypony ever again! By the power vested in me by the hell-reigning Derpy, your soul will serve as an endless feast for the being Tirek! Never again shall you taste ponyflesh! Instead, be tasted by the jaws of evil itself!"
"Good morning, Ditzy. You're particularly bloodthirsty today."
"Oh, it's nothing. You should see Derpy when she goes off to fight the evil OC's that man all around the world inflict onto us."
"Ah. What happened to my leg?"
"The T-Rex ate it. Don't worry, I've got a replacement here."
Twenty seconds later, Ditzy managed to screw on a metal leg, covered in T-Rex skin, but dyed grey.
"Gee, thanks."
Bon Bon walked up  and yelled at them for not moving their lazy plots, because she worked late last night trying to land an appointment at the Carousal Boutique, and even though it was a walk in, she felt that it was the only way to be polite, after Lyra used her home as a testing site for a human revival invention. Besides, Mrs. Cheerilee didn't make an appointment at her marriage, and look at her! A jilted lover who now spent twenty years of her natural life working away at a second rate school, while the fiancee is married to the lovely unicorn, Fleur De Lis. And even though she was offered a job in Manehattan, she chose to stay in Ponyville. Silly mare. (For a split second, Bon Bon's white coat faded to black, but back again.)
The trio made their way to the Carousal Boutique. 
"Hello, darlings, and welcome to the-" (To be honest I got tired of typing out the name. Deal with it.)
"Yes, well, this mare here is looking for a wedding dress."
"It that-"
"Yes. Yes it is."
"Well, I will be very happy assisting the lovely Octavia in her marriage."
"Wonderful." 
For two hours, Rarity fussed over Octavia, flipping her mane this way and that, and at one point, even applying various, but pointless tattoos onto her flank, versus the natural cutie mark. (It's all the rage in Canterlot. Yes, even from the ponies that thought it was fashionable to stitch pieces of dead meat onto their bodies, so that they would get cool looking battle scars, from the scuffles with the pig knights afterwards. PIG KNIGHTS FOR LYFE!)
"Well, that was a huge waste of time," commented Octavia when she left the -.
"Oh please, the synthetic leg, leg markings, eye markings, and the voice enhancer was a much better improvement than your original being. No offense."
"None taken," growled Octavia.
They arrived at Lyra's dorm house, where they were greeted by a blue pony with a toothpaste mane.
"She's at the eighth door to the right, but mind the crossbow."
"SHIT!"
"Sorry."
A bleeding Octavia, a confused Ditzy, and a strangely evil Bon Bon knocked at the door of Lyra.
"Hello, and welcome one and all!"
"Whatever."
"Oh, I have to poison you now."
"Hoo boy."
"Love poison. We decided it must be done after you left yesterday."
"Great."
"Okay...well....here."
Octavia angrily chewed on it, like she had a death wish against the sweet piece of candy, but soon calmed down when she ingested it. 
"Happy ending, here we come!!"