Twilight replayed the conversation through her head as Raindrops left the library. Thinking back on it, she never really knew where to place Spike in her life. On one hoof, she hatched his egg, and raised him alongside Princess Celestia and the castle staff. But on the other hoof, for the longest time she saw him as someone to do her work for her and make things easier in her life so she could focus on whatever she deemed more important at the time. Which unfortunately didn’t include Spike on that list of priorities most of the time.
Twilight looked at Spike and said in a soft tone, “Hey Spike, why don’t you take the rest of today off, and tomorrow as well. We’ll talk about stuff after Scootaloo has her little get-together. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do, all right?”
Spike, who’d been slightly thrown off after Raindrops came into the Library, gave a sharp nod, just as he was about to leave he looked at Twilight, “Hey, you know I’m not mad at you right? I’m still glad that you want me to be your number one assistant.”
“Spike, before you go… Have I ever treated you unfairly?” She asked in a voice that could match Fluttershy’s in terms of softness.
“You haven’t treated me any differently than you usually do. No, I can’t say you’ve treated me unfairly,” Spike answered, unknowingly confirming Twilight’s fears.
As he shut the door behind him, she plopped down on a cushion and thought back to when Spike first came into her life. To think that she had taken him for granted for so long, and had never really put any thought into where he fit other than for work.
Spike was feeling out of sorts following the conversation between Raindrops and Twilight. Sure, he might not have had the best childhood by pony standards, and sure he might’ve wanted to experience life more as a pony than a dragon sometimes, but that was the rub, no matter how much he wished he was born a pony, he was a dragon in body, and as such lived by as well as was treated by different standards.
All in all though, he had a pretty good life. Princess Celestia and some of Twilight’s tutors trained and taught him personally, as well as helped him learn to control his draconic magic, though that was mostly trial and error on Princess Celestia’s part. But he still got free food, a roof over his head, and he never really wanted for anything. Well if he was honest there was a lot he wanted, but with his last experience in going into savage mode he knew that wanting too much was bad for him, so he grinned and lived with it, being happy with what he had.
“Stupid Raindrops and her stupid questions. It’s not like it was a problem, I mean, nopony complains when I get carpel tunnel from writing city-block long lists, or dictating a novel's worth of words to Princess Celestia for Twilight. So what’s a few cracks in the scales matter? It’s not like it was killing me or anything,” Spike sighed.
A bump pulled him out of his meanderings. Looking up, he saw the pink flank of Holly Dash, “Hey, sorry for bumping into you Holly.”
“No problems, Spike, it happens to the best of us. So what has you lost in your thoughts?” Holly asked, offering him a hoof to help him up.
“Just stuff, you know?” Spike answered.
“Ha! I know stuff. That can be pretty heavy. I know you have a lot of friends around here in Ponyville if you ever wanted to talk about stuff,” Holly said with a wave, “ I gotta get going, Derpy just got over the Alicorn Flu and I promised to meet up with her when she got better. I’ll be seeing you, and don’t forget. You have friends to talk to if you need them.”
Spike perked up a bit and waved back, “Thanks, and say hi to Derpy for me.”
With that little talk, he stopped thinking about how much was going to change, and instead wondered who to talk to. The first pony on his mind, like always, was Rarity, but he couldn’t talk to her about all the things on his mind. After all, he had his studly reputation to look after. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were also out, they were too stallionly to talk about emotions with. And Pinkie Pie was Pinkie Pie, you never knew if you were going to get a serious response from her or a melting pot of general madness, tangents, anecdotes, and fantasy with only the lightest thread of reality sprinkled in there.
That just left two ponies he knew he could talk to, Fluttershy or Princess Celestia. Fluttershy was awesome in her own right, sure she freaked out at the flip of a coin, and she undersold herself on almost every awesome thing she did. But all in all, she was a good pony to talk to if you needed a good listener, and no matter what, she wasn’t the kind of pony to judge a pony, or his case a dragon, by what he was feeling. Then there was Celestia, ruler of a nation, a teacher, a kind, compassionate pony, and what sometimes felt like a second mom.
Thinking on it, he ended up choosing Fluttershy, since he didn’t want Celestia to be burdened with the same thing Twilight was dealing with because of him. With his mind made up, he waddled over to Fluttershy’s cottage to talk with a good, good friend.
Twilight Sparkle trotted around her usual thinking spot. That stallion bust had seen all of her thinking time freakouts. All six hundred and sixty five, as of this moment.
The more she thought of it, the more irritated she became. When she hatched Spike, and Princess Celestia turned him back to his normal baby size. She didn’t think of being responsible for a new life, and when she first had to deal with him a few weeks later, she treated him more like a pet than something she helped give life to.
After all, he was a dragon and she was a pony, they weren’t even close to the same species. Even a year later when he started babbling his words as infants are want to do, Twilight didn’t really see him as an equal until Celestia sat her down and told her all that she knew about dragons. Sadly for Twilight, it was relatively little. A small talk on a few of the dragon spells she knew that were compatible with unicorn magic, skipping over most until she thought Spike was ready, and the rise and fall of the few Dragon Empires throughout history.
The series of lectures ended with Celestia promising to help with his education, and helping integrate him within her life, since they shared a special bond that Twilight would one day see and appreciate. A comment that until recently had gone over her head.
Her eyes shrank to pinpricks as she hopped erratically as if the floor had became lava, “Oh! My! Gosh! I’m a mother! … Oh no! I’m Equestria’s worst mother!” She lamented, “What am I going to do?! What am I going to do!? Is there a punishment for being world’s worst mother? I mean sure, no parent’s perfect, and most don’t even pay that much attention to their children if they aren’t in eye sight... Which I guess counts for any foal. So yeah, I can’t be that negligent if other ponies are just as bad … Oh, that makes it even worse! I’m supposed to be Princess of Something, and I can’t even help out a filly who needs help while at the same time criminally mistreating my son, whom I’ve never even treated like a son!”
Just before she hit Smarty Pants Incident-level sanity slippage, she stopped herself, and took a few deep breaths as Cadence taught her. Looking around, she spotted her trusty ink pot and scrolls and began writing to her ex-mentor for advice.
“So that’s when Twilight gave me a two day vacation, and I ended up coming to you to get stuff off my chest,” Spike ended his recollections, “After all, I spent hours talking to you about my past when we first met.”
“I remember that. You were just as adorable then as you are now,” Fluttershy gushed, “and I’m sorry that me and the girls haven’t been there for you like we should have. Can you forgive me?”
“Thanks, and sure I forgive you,” Spike blushed, “But what do I do?”
“Well, what do you feel like doing?” Fluttershy asked.
“I don’t know. I admit that I wanted things to be different sometimes, but not this much, this fast! And I definitely didn’t want Twilight sad,” Spike sighed, resting his head on the table. He didn’t bother sipping his tea, as it had undoubtedly cooled by now.
“I know more than anypony how scary change can be. But it was my friends, including you, who showed me that sometimes change, while scary, can be a good thing,” Fluttershy said, stretching her wing over the table and giving him a comforting pat on the back.
“Yeah, you’re right, but what do I do about Twilight? I mean, I don’t like her being sad, and it feels crummy that she’s all worked up about this,” Spike said, leaning into the soft feathers. It in a way reminded him of when Celestia used to give him wing hugs when he was a little hatchling.
“Well, I’m sure things will work out for the best. The best thing you can do is be honest with her.”
“Alright. Thanks, Flutters,” He said, draining his tea before getting ready to leave.
“It was my pleasure, Spike. If you need somepony to talk to, all of us girls are here for you. But if it makes any difference, Raindrops’ worries were well founded. I know when some of my reptile friends get their scales broken, they can get really bad infections, and it opens them up to lots of disabling diseases. So if you don’t mind, I might be able to give you a check up when you think you need it.”
With that, Spike left Fluttershy’s cottage. As he neared Ponyville Proper, he saw Rarity barrelling towards him, mascara running down her face. Before he could say a word, he was glomped and found himself laying on his back looking up at Rarity who was weeping all over him.
“Um … Yeah, I could never hold anything against you, Rarity,” Spike replied in a confused daze. He didn’t like to see the ponies important to him sad, but he had so many fantasies of Rarity laying on top of him... Of course, those fantasies usually involved clouds raining candied gems, and a swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding.
She sat up and pulled Spike into a hug. “Listen, Spike, we need to have a talk later, and it’s a talk that’s long overdue. But I promise, as Celestia as my witness, I promise to make it up to you!” She said, nuzzling Spike lovingly.
Twilight looked over her letter for the fifth time after she finished. She was still reeling from the revelation that not only was she in a way Spike’s mother, but his life had been less of an equal citizen as a pony as well as what could at times be considered almost criminal negligence. Well what would be criminal negligence if it wasn’t for the fact that thinking about it the treatment of the young was at best negligent.
Thinking about it further, and how Scootaloo had been living without any adult help or assistance for several years. Snips and Snails when they brought over the Ursa Minor into town, causing thousands of bits in property damage and risking the lives of everypony in town. Even the crusaders caused havoc with their cutie mark-earning stunts, yet nopony bothered to supervise them or even take proper safety precautions.
That’s just how ponies are, as long as I can remember. Might need to add that question to Princess Celestia. But I want to be a good mother, I really need to make things up to Spike, but I just don’t know what to do.