//------------------------------// // Diamond Tiara Buys a 3D TV // Story: Diamond Tiara Buys a 3D TV // by Mattricole //------------------------------// “Careful! I said ‘careful’!” Diamond Tiara yelled at her husband, Apple Bloom. “Do you realize how much that 3D TV cost?! It’s more than what your sister makes in a year! A YEAR!” “Blah blah blah, I git it,” Apple Bloom muttered in annoyance. Despite that, she listened to her wife and carefully set their brand new television down. “Ah don’t even know why ya got a 3D TV. Just a stupid gimmick.” “I don’t want to hear that from somepony who wants a banjo!” Diamond Tiara yelled as she pushed Apple Bloom away from the TV. “Now stay out of my way! I don’t trust you plugging my new TV in.” “Just ‘cause ah accidentally blew up the toaster doesn’t mean ah can’t hook a TV up,” Apple Bloom growled, but did as she was told. In this world their were two different Diamond Tiara’s. The first one was the nice one that allowed you to cuddle with her at night. The second one was the angry Diamond Tiara that liked to bite and kicked. Apple Bloom usually preferred the former (the exception would be when she felt particularly kinky). “And… I’m… DONE!” Diamond Tiara cried out with glee. “Great!” Apple Bloom said as she made her way to the door. “Be back in a little bit. Ah gotta go and rub Granny’s… hooves,” Apple Bloom said with a shiver. “Have fun!” Diamond called out to her husband. She turned back to her TV with a smile. “And now to watch some horror movies!” she said as she looked at her Blu-ray collection. “Silent Hill? Tch, games were better. Ponyville Chainsaw Massacre? Why would I want to watch a documentary on Rumble’s brother? Tommy Wiseau in ‘The Room’?” At that Diamond Tiara shivered. “That’s scary for all the wrong reasons.” Diamond Tiara continued to go through her collection, until finally she came upon a blank Blu-ray. She raised her eyebrow in curiosity. “I don’t recognize this,” she muttered. After silently debating with herself for a few minutes, she finally decided to put the disc in the Blu-ray player and made her way to the couch. “Can’t be that bad,” Diamond Tiara said as she sat down and put on her 3D glasses. She picked up the remote and pressed ‘play’. At first the TV remained blank, then all of a sudden the TV turned glaringly white, making static noises for a good ten seconds. Finally, a picture came up. “Oooh, retro!” Diamond Tiara gasped as she watched the black and white film. There, in the middle of the woods was a rather large well. Soon a hoof rose from the well, pulling up a disfigured young mare in a white dress. “Ugh, creepy.” Diamond Tiara muttered. It was then that she noticed the mare crawling towards her. Soon she reached the screen, and began pulling herself through. Diamond Tiara gasped as she leaned in. “WHOA! THESE 3D EFFECTS ARE AMAZING!” she cried with glee as the monster slowly made her way towards her. It was as if the thing was right in front of her, in her very own home! “And Apple Bloom said this was a ‘gimmick’! What a moron!” Diamond Tiara giggled as she leaned in closer. “It’s almost like I could touch it,” she muttered as she reached out for the thing, her hoof booping it on the nose. “...” “...” the thing stayed silent, breathing it’s disgusting breath into Diamond Tiara’s crinkled nose. “W-wow,” Diamond Tiara muttered as her hoof retracted. “F-for a sec there I thought I actually touched…” Diamond Tiara trailed off as she reached out, and once again felt the skin of the strange creature. She retracted her trembling hoof once again, this time using them to remove her 3D glasses. In front of her stood the water-logged mare, glaring at her with ghostly eyes. “...AAAAAAAAAGGGH!” Diamond Tiara screamed as she reached for her father’s cane and began wacking at the beast. “BEGONE YE! BEGONE BEGONE BEGONE!” “AAAAARRRGGH!” the thing screamed in pain as it backed away from the wailing Diamond Tiara. It attempted to run back to it’s home in the TV, trying with all its might to escape the deranged mare. “Daddy!” Diamond screamed, wacking the mare on the flank once more. “I don’t like 3D TV’s anymore!” It was at that moment she missed her target, and instead slammed the cane into the TV, destroying it. “...” the ghost mare starred in shock. Her one escape from the fearsome child was now gone. She slowly turned to Diamond Tiara, fear in her eyes as she resigned herself to her fate. “...Damn, how am I gonna return it now,” Diamond Tiara muttered as she looked at her destroyed TV. “...Eh, whatever,” Diamond said as she turned her attention to the scarred ghost. “Now...what am I going to do with you?” “...Ret me gou?” the mare gargled, causing Diamond Tiara to giggle. “Oh, I don’t think so,” Diamond Tiara said as she pointed her cane at the thing. “You think you can just waltz into my home and scare me half to death?” “...Hai?” the ghost replied, causing Diamond Tiara to raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Uh… yeah. Hi to you, too,” Diamond Tiara muttered. “Now, answer my question!” Diamond Tiara demanded as she once again slapped the ghost on the flank. “No, Diamond-sama! Yamete!” the ghost screamed, causing Diamond to stop. “Y-yamete?” she muttered, now understanding. “That’s what they say in my Japonese hent-I mean, anime! Y-you’re a ghost from Japony, aren’t you?” she asked, earning a nod from the ghost. “A ghost… from Japony!” Diamond squealed in delight. “I always wanted a Japonese pet!” Diamond said with a smile, earning a shocked look from the ghost. “Pettu?!” the ghost screamed, a look of pure horror upon her face. Diamond Tiara slowly put down her cane and grabbed the ghost mare by the mane. “I’m gonna name you...WET NOODLE! And you are now our pet!” Diamond shouted as she grabbed a nearby collar and hooked it around Wet Noodle’s neck, causing the ghost girl to cry. Diamond rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Well, if you didn’t want to be my pet, maybe you shouldn’t have tried to kill me.” “Hey, Mom?!” Scootaloo called out as she entered the living room. “Have you seen my- OH SWEET CELESTIA, WHAT IS THAT?!” And that’s how the Rich family obtained a Japonese yurei spirit as a pet.