Bright lights flash, and a symbol of Equestria appears on the screen. Black curtains open up to reveal a green chair and a purple sofa. Pinkie Pie sat in the chair, while our mystery guest was hidden by a curtain. Pinkie smiled as the screen and a fake applause came.
"Good day everypony! Are you ready for another episode of Random Events? Our mystery guest today is....."
The curtain lifts up to reveal Gilda the griffin. She had her usual scowl on her face as she glared at the pink earth pony.
"Ya, hi."
"So how's it feel to be back in Ponyville, Gilda?"
"Oh, just swell," She said with a note of sarcasm, "Where's Twilight?"
"She had an injury in the last episode, so she had to sit this one out."
A ding sounded and a large screen appeared. It had the picture of a single song note, though this one had a chat box around it. Pinkie gave a large smile at the sight and turned to face Gilda. The griffin bit her tongue, not wanting to do a loud roar on television with so many people watching.
"For your first challenge, you have to hold a conversation with me."
"That doesn't sound so hard."
"But every time you speak, you have to sing the words."
"Ugh, fine!"
"Great, let's begin. How are you?"
"Good."
Gilda had a rusty voice, probably because she never sang.
"What do you want to do today?"
"Punch you in the face!"
"Oh isn't that nice."
"I wish you would just shut up you pink nuisance!" She finished, not even bothering to finish the rest.
The fake crowd booed her so loud, nothing else could be heard. Pinkie turned it off and shook her head in disappointment. Gilda just gave her a death glare.
"You cracked at the first challenge silly. Now you can't win the grand prize."
Another ding sounded and the screen popped up. It had the picture of a cat fighting a dog. Gilda felt confused, but it was just like Pinkie to explain everything.''
"You have to fight a rabid dog to win!"
"But I lost the first challenge."
"It doesn't matter," She said with a laugh.
The screen flashed white, then cleared up to reveal Gilda facing a crazy looking pooch. She gave a quick hiss at it, but it ignored her and leaped. She clawed it with her talons, but barely hit it's side. It barked and went to bite her on the leg, but she dodged it just in time. She saw a kennel on one side of the stage. She leaped for it, attracting the dog with her. It ended up running into the kennel. Gilda shut it quickly and the screen flashed. It went back to it's original setting.
"Okay Gilda, now you can have a break since we need to put up a commercial."
A giant cat appeared on the screen and meowed. It was looking at a fish floating in the air.
"Don't give me chicken, or even liver. Just get me some fish for dinner!" Sang the cat.
That was the end of the commercial. Gilda was astonished, not believing that was the whole commercial. Pinkie just giggled and bounced around, singing the annoying tune. She stopped for a second and grabbed a clock out of nowhere.
"Oh wow, this is a short episode. Time we took a break to do something extra. Please stand by as we play this video."
"That was, uh....." Gilda began, lost for words.
A ding sounded, signalling the final event. The screen appeared, showing the picture of a toxic sign. The fake crowd did a laugh is the griffin fell over.
"It's time for you to take a jump in the toxic waste!"
"No, no please! I, I'll do anything!"
Pinkie ignored her and ejected the seat. Gilda fell into the toxic waste at top speed. She screamed as it took off all her feathers, making it burn like fire. She was only in there for a few minutes, but she was already totally balled. Pinkie laughed, and so did the fake crowd. The griffin did her lion roar so loud that it cracked the screen.
"That's it for today folks." Said Pinkie.
The screen faded black, the anthem playing in the background.