"So, Tavi..." Vinyl Scratch began as she finished her eighth shot of the weak liqueur. "How're ya feelin'?"
"Aw I'm gonna-er, oh right where was I?" The now drunk Octavia replied.
"I asked you how you're holding up and you were gonna answer, Tavi."
"You know what, Record Album? You were right, I'm feeling pretty radical right *urp* now."
Octavia rarely ever drank and when she did, she would be lucky to have finished a single glass of wine. Now here she was with her best friend Vinyl, who had twice as much to drink but was acting as if the alcohol had no affect on her. Octavia on the other hoof was already starting to forget names.
"Bwahahahahaha!" Vinyl laughed hystarically as she pounded the table. "Did you just call me 'Record Album'?"
"Now, Bass Note, you've been my best friend for like...a lot of time..." Octavia began. "But you aren't gonna call me a liar and get away with it!"
"You didn't even answer my question, Octi."
"Damn right you're not gonna vote for that Gorge Tush! He's a dick!"
"What the fuck are you talking about? Who's Gorge Tush?"
"He's running for some position just under Celestia or some stupid shit. Pffffffft hahahahahaha! A position 'under Celstia'! Oh man, that sounded wrong!"
"Ha! She could put that little dweeb in a wheelchair!"
"Oh yeah? So it's true then? She's been around?"
"Are you kidding me? Sure she's an immortal being but she gets the urges too. She's not the pure goodie four-horse shoes everypony likes to think she is."
"Do you have a bathroom? I think I might pee sometime."
"Did you really just ask me that? Damn Tavie, we've got some work to do. If it takes only four shots of the weak stuff to get you smashed, then you've got a lot to catch up on."
"But I need to use your bathroom. Pleeeaaase?"
"It's our bathroom, Tavi and in case you really forgot where it is, just go upstairs and follow the glow of that gnarly lava lamp."
Octavia then stumbled up the stairs in search of the restroom, leaving Vinyl to smile to herself about her best friend's first step towards having fun for once. Most of the time, she would come home from a night of partying at the clubs and trotting from bar to bar and see the heartbreaking sight of Octavia sleeping or playing video games. Now she was on her way to living life to the fullest.
I'd better catch up with her on the drink. Vinyl thought to herself as she looked around for the bottle to realize that it was nowhere to be found.
"Well then, maybe I am caught up. It's not like me to forget where I put my booze"
Crash! Thud!
Vinyl was jarred out of her focus on finding her bottle by the sound of a window upstairs being smashed followed by a loud thud of something large hitting the ground outside.
"Tavi?!" Vinyl yelled as she bolted up to the restroom to check on Octavia.
As Vinyl quickly made her way down the short hallway, she noticed the now empty bottle laying on the floor apparently having been finished off by Octavia as she went to use the facilities. After just a few split seconds of which seemed like an eternity, the concerned friend entered the restroom to find the window smashed out and Octavia nowhere in sight. Fearing the worst, Vinyl ran over to the window and saw that her nightmare had come true.
"Octavia!" Vinyl screamed to her friend who just fell out of a two story window and was now lying on the ground. "Oh shit, are you okay?!"
"Heyyy, Compact Disc!" Octavia replied. "Oh man, this is really gonna tickle in the morning!"
"Octavia, don't move! I'll be right down!"
"I don't see what the big deal is, Cassette Tape. I feel *hic* I feel just fine!"
Wasting no time, Vinyl began her sprint down the stairs in order to go outside and assess the damage to her longtime friend. This however did not quite go according to plan as Vinyl soon found herself having tripped on an object and tumbled down, hitting each step on the way. She lay at the bottom of the stair case in a daze for a moment until she shook herself out of it and looked at her right back hoof to see Octavia's cello bow clinging to her.
"Dude, what a bunch of horse shit!" Vinyl yelled at me as she plucked the bow off her hoof and got back to her task. "Octavia never leaves her stuff lying around! Thanks a lot, dick!"
You're welcome!
"Smartass motherfucker!"
After her brief argument with the author regarding the inconvenient placement of objects on the stairs, Vinyl proceeded to burst out the front door and galloped to where she had seen Octavia fall out the window. To her unpleasant surprise, her drunken comrade was no longer there, apparently having gotten up and wandered off. Further observation revealed hoof prints in the yard leading away from where Octavia had fallen and into the general direction of the town.
"Gah, the one fuckin' time I get you drunk, Tavi!" Vinyl yelled out of frustration as she returned to the apartment to use the phone to call for help.
Vinyl Scratch then dialed the one number she hated having to call the most. Unfortunately for her, she had little choice but to call the Ponyville Police Department in order to track down her inebriated friend before she could injure or make a fool of herself any further. The party girl that is Vinyl never liked the police as she was usually one to get on their bad side by having too much to drink and causing a ruckus. Regardless, she swallowed her pride and waited for an answer on the other line.
"Hello, you have reached the village of Ponyville department of police." The voice recording said, sending Vinyl into further frustration. "We are currently unavailable to take calls as we are all attending the department's gala of which is funded by your tax bits. Please leave a detailed message with your name and telephone number and we will attend to the issue when we get around to it. Thanks"
"Shit!" Vinyl shouted. "Why can't there be a three digit, universal emergency number run by operators twenty-four seven?! I guess I'll have to find Octavia myself!"
Without any help from the authorities available, the slightly buzzed DJ entered the large sedan that her and Octavia shared, cranked the engine over and began to back out of the driveway. After accidentally taking out a neighbor's mailbox, she was now cruising down the street, her focus sweeping from side to side in order to spot the drunken Octavia.
Over the course of an hour, the entire residential part of the town had been searched with no sign of the usually quiet, more responsible mare. At this point, Vinyl was now completely sober and getting very, very, worried. Having combed through the residential section, Vinyl knew she would have to start checking the more busy side of town. Vinyl was stopped at a red light when she noticed a familiar pair of ponies standing at the corner, each of them enjoying a cigarette. The usually calm and now nearly frantic Vinyl then decided that it was worth asking them if they had seen Octavia.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" Vinyl called out the window of the sedan.
"Yo whassup, P3?" Rainbow Dash replied.
"Hi Vinyl!" Fluttershy greeted. "Guess who had her first time yesterday?"
"Sweet! Way to go, Flutterbaby!" Vinyl replied. "How was it?"
The normally quiet and shy pegasus then rose to her back legs and inhaled a deep breath, seeming as if she was about to yell as loud as she could before letting out a faint "Rad!"
"Cool. Hey listen girls, I'm in a bit of a jam here. I thought it would be a good idea to get Octavia drunk and now she's wandered off. Have you seen her?
"No way!" Rainbow Dash said in sudden realization. "It was her! I didn't think she was such a party animal so I thought I was trippin' when she went by!"
"You saw her then? Where did she go?"
"She went straight through this light on to Kirby Hoofer Street. She said something about trying to find her friend nam-"
Beep! Beep!
"C'mon! The light's green!" Yelled an impatient motorist waiting behind Vinyl. "Move it!"
Being in absolutely no mood to deal with a traffic dispute, Vinyl then turned her attention back to her two friends on the sidewalk.
"Excuse me for a sec, girls." Vinyl said as she exited her carriage, nonchalantly trotted over to the other vehicle and delivered a firm punch to the mare's face through her open window. After the assault, the now calm and collected Vinyl re-entered her sedan and started the conversation where they left off.
"Okay, where were we?"
"Fuck!" Vinyl yelled as she raced in the direction where her other friends had pointed her into. "If she's drunk enough to call me 'music note pony' then she's had way too much to drink! I've gotta find her before she kills herself!"
Vinyl had driven down the entire block and with still no sign of Octavia. She then stopped at the next intersection to think of where Octavia could have possibly gone. She was reading each nearby street sign when she suddenly got an idea.
"Of course!" Vinyl exclaimed. "The Golden Oaks Library is on East Dorknerd Avenue! They're open till midnight during the summer so she must have gone there!"
Before the light could turn green, Vinyl floored the pedal and made a quick right turn onto the other street. The DJ pony took her eyes off of the speedometer for a mere split second and when she looked back down at the dashboard, she realized that she was going seventy miles per hour in a thirty-five zone.
"Shit, This thing's pretty swift for a big granny sedan!" Vinyl said as she tapped the break to slow back down to forty. "Damn it! I passed the library already! This boat's got some balls! No wonder the cops used these!"
After whipping around to make the world's fastest U-turn, Vinyl then found herself pulling into the library's driveway. She parked the vehicle, looked at the clock on the radio at which point, her heart sank.
"Crap, it's 12:06!" Vinyl exclaimed. "I hope Twilight's at least still he-oh wait, she lives here. Heheh"
Vinyl knew that Twilight Sparkle was never hesitant when it came to helping friends with their problems so in turn she would not mind a knock on the door a mere few minutes after closing the library. Just as she was making her way over to the front entrance, she would soon find out just how little of a problem Twilight would have with being interrupted.
"Okay Spike, you and Sweetie Belle have fun with your play date!" The lavender unicorn said as she exited the front door before Vinyl Scratch reached it. "I'm gonna check out that tubular new club that just opened on Debauchery Road!"
"Twilight!" Vinyl Exclaimed. "Thank Celestia I caught up with you!"
"Oh, hey Vinyl." Twilight Greeted. "Is everything alright?"
"I wish I could say it was, Twi. Have you seen Octavia?"
"No I haven't. Isn't she usually at home reading this time of night?"
"I was gonna ask you the same thing. You go to clubs?"
"Of course! I may be the towns's super book worm but that doesn't mean I don't go out and have fun. So what's the deal with Octavia?"
"She finally agreed to have a few drinks, fell out of the window of our apartment and now I can't find her anywhere!"
"Yikes! Well I'll help you find her. I'm not about to let a friend of ours get hurt on my watch!"
"Oh Twilight, thank you thank you thank you! I'm so sorry I ruined your plans for tonight but thank you!"
"It's no problem, Vinyl but you can stop kissing my hoof now. It's not like I'm a princess or anything."
Vinyl and Twilight were now scanning each and every street in town in search of Octavia. After over an hour of searching, their efforts seemed futile until they passed by the club that Twilight was planning on going to. Vinyl suddenly noticed some red and blue lights flashing in the rear view mirror heading towards the bar.
"Hey Twi, looks like there's some funky shit going down back there." Vinyl Said.
"Vinyl, just to be on the safe side, I think we should check it out." Twilight replied. "As crazy as this sounds, the cops could be going to find exactly what we're looking for. It's worth a shot."
"Okay, I'll turn around and have a look. Fuck, if only they could come around when you actually need them."
After Parking the carriage and leaving it with the engine running, Vinyl and Twilight made their way to the front entrance of the club. They both then trotted past the parked black and white DisKord Tiara Victory sedan that was left there by the police. Just as Twilight was about to enter the club, she noticed that Vinyl was no longer next to her.
"What th-Vinyl!" Twilight called out. "Where'd you go?"
"I'm over here!" Vinyl replied as she waved her hoof from behind the cop coach. "Gimme a sec."
"Are you crazy? Don't screw with their cruiser! If they see you, they'll bust your flank!"
"Chilax, Twi! I've got this all figured out."
Upon entering the hip and happening club, it did not take long for Vinyl Scratch and Twilight to find that their hunch was correct. With all the strobe lights and smoke making it difficult to get a clear look at a face, Vinyl knew the voice and silhouette of Octavia's hair anywhere. The figure of their attention was running around the club causing a ruckus with the silhouettes of two larger ponies wearing police hats in pursuit right behind her.
"Catch me if you can, big boy!" Octavia said to mock the officers, confirming that it was indeed Octavia who was being chased. "C'mon, you gotta want this flank more than that!"
"Twilight, grab her with your magic after I get the bacon off her tail!" Vinyl said. "Let's get her outta here!"
With no hesitation, Vinyl put her plan into action. She used her magic aura to levitate a glass off of the bar and throw it right into the path of the small town police stallions. She knew that she had hit her mark when the cop just behind Octavia slipped on the glass, causing the second officer to run into him sending both of them crashing to the floor.
"I got her!" Twilight yelled to Vinyl as she carried the wasted Octavia in her aura. "Let's blow this joint!"
"Aw yeah!" Vinyl replied. "And when this is all over, we can blow some joints of our own!"
"Woohoo! I'm flying!" Octavia yelled out in her drunken stupor.
The pair of ponies with their completely sloshed friend in tow, made a dash to the waiting vehicle. It did not take very long for the two officers to get back up to their hooves so Twilight and Vinyl had to get to the vehicle and get out of the area before the cops could get a look at their faces.
"Hey you, take a red!" One of the now irate police stallions shouted at the trio.
Having no time to waste, Vinyl and Twilight jumped through the open windows into the sedan and tossed Octavia into the back seat. Having left the engine running to buy some time, Vinyl shifted into drive and floored the pedal, leaving a thick cloud of dust and smoke behind from the screeching tires. With nothing for the officers to see but the taillights of the powerful sedan fading away in the distance, they returned to their own V8 powered land yacht and began the chase. Fearing that the police would get close enough to read the plate, Twilight turned her head back to assess the distance they had between them. That distance was decreasing at a very quick pace, their flashing red and blue lights seeming to come up like rockets.
"Aw crap!" Twilight yelled. "They're gaining on us fast! Even if we can outrun them, they'll get your plate number if they get much closer!"
"Give it a few seconds, Twi." Vinyl calmly replied. "I planned for this. They'll be eating our dust in five, four, three, two-"
Bang! Putt Putt Putt! Pow! Putt Putt Putt! Hisssssssshhhhh!
"Hahaha! There we go! Remember when I was messin' with their squad coach?"
"No way!" The flabbergasted Twilight said. "Vinyl, you didn't!"
"Awww yeahhh! I shoved some rocks in the tailpipe! As soon as I get off this street and start driving like I'm sane, we're home free!"
"Oh sweet Celestia! This is...totally fucking radical! The rush! This fucking rush! Woohoo!"
"Tubular! How ya feeling, Twi?"
"I have never felt so...so...Aw fuck, Vinyl we just ran from the cops! Iv'e never felt so Alive!"