Have you ever heard of thing called lucid dreaming? I just read about it in one of Luna's books on the nature of dreams, and I must confess that there is just so much neat stuff she has in her room. All these neat bobbles, bits and hidden treasures just waiting to be discovered! And the best part about it is that the moon has just risen, and Luna won't be here all night.
So this thing I was telling you about, lucid dreaming... It's basically when you're having a dream, and you realize it. You become aware of your own dream. What this allows you to do, is basically live out your wildest imaginations, with almost zero limitations. Luna wrote that when she first began to visit ponies in their sleep, her magic was far more untamed. As a result, small tendrils of her power had been cast into the minds of ponies she visited, giving them a piece of the dominion that Luna herself had over their dreams.
Yada yada yada, the rest of it was boring and trite, and I simply couldn't bear to read anymore, so it's a coaster for my drink at the moment.
Many of you may be wondering what became of Cadence and my own's little escapade that took place. Let me tell you, she was more red than she was pink. First thing she did was confiscate the riding crop, which I think was unfair because they were the ones who threw it away in the first place. Secondly, I got a browbeating about invading other pony's privacy, and that it was wrong to coerce love for my amusement.
So it is here in Luna's room I find myself, as I rummage through her priceless relics and personal belongings like it's nobodies business, which in many ways is a pun.
That's when I came across a funny little box stowed away in a secret compartment in her bed. It was pitch black with symbols and spellbindings engraved all over it. I took it out and laid it on her bed sheets, taking a careful examination. The box was rather dusty, which meant that it hadn't been touched in a very long time. What was so important for Luna to keep away hidden in her room? Couldn't be the elements, that tree thing took those back...
I've been alive for quite some time, and I would be lying if I said I didn't know what this was. The box has been pocketed with a myriad of hexproofing spells and lock charms, making the small chest into pretty much a prison for whatever's inside. I don't know what she's keeping in here, but I have to tell you, I am absolutely intrigued. So I snapped my fingers, dispelled some of the spells and undid the latch. Suddenly, there was an enormous dark mist that erupted from the back, blinding me for a second, before dissipating into the air.
That's all she was keeping in there? Smog? How petty. I know they want to keep their kingdom in tip top shape, but I mean that's just a little over the top.
Well, I've just about exhausted all of the fun in Luna's room. Time to get moving!
Where should I go today? I probably shouldn't show my face in the Crystal Empire for awhile, same goes for Los Pegasus. But then I thought, I haven't bothered Applejack for a long time, so I decided to pay here a visit!
"Surpriiiiise!" I yelled in her dark room, causing the orange farm pony to fly from her bed in a startled heap of drowsy fright.
"What in tarnation?!" She said as she fell from the side of her bed. She struggled to throw the bedsheets off of her, before catching sight of my face.
"Discord? How in the- what are you doing in mah room!"
"Just saying hello to a friend," I said, giving her a funny look. "We are friends, right?"
"You're beginning to wear the term a little thin,"
"I just thought maybe I could help you do something around the farm. Friends help each other, right?"
Applejack wiped her eyes wearily, before giving me the most irritated look I've ever seen. "You want to help me farm Apples," she said flatly.
"Why of course! I wouldn't bother you if I wasn't serious,"
Applejack buried her face in her right hoof. "Discord, if I take you apple bucking, will you leave me alone?"
"Cross my heart, hope to fly, jam a muffin in my ear hole or however the thing goes."
So Applejack dragged herself out of the bed, opened her door and headed downstairs. "C'mon now, let's hurry up and get this over with."
So I eagerly followed her out into the hallway, and down the stairs. That's when I heard the most menacing snarl I had ever heard in my life. Suddenly I had a flashback of Peanutbutter, as he mauled me mercilessly with no regret. My tears flowing profusely as I was bullied and abused by the canine... Why I had no control of myself by the time Winona started barking at me.
With a shriek of terror and reflexive kick of my foot, a brown and white ball of dog went hurdling out of their kitchen window.
Applejack looked at me with a look of surprise before she galloped out of the front door.
"Winona!" She shouted, her voice cracking with the strain. I could hear her searching for the puppy I had accidentally punted like a hoofball.
"Discord what in Equestria is wrong with you!" She said, her eyes wide with what looked to be surprise and sadness
"Just making sure you're awake," I said as I pulled the dog from out of my sleeve and place it on the ground.
I'll skip the string of profanity that Applejack said to me after that, but rest assured she wasn't happy.
"Oh lighten up AJ!" I said, trying to calm her down. "Just because I pulled one harmless prank doesn't mean you have to call me a fragment of fornicating excrement,"
"Don't do that t' me! Ah've had Winona since she was a puppy," she said, holding onto the dog tightly. "That ain't funny Discord!"
...
I'm all for senseless pranks, but there is a boundary you can't cross... Like when I let loose the Orthros in Ponyville. Sure it was dangerous, but I made sure no one got hurt. Same with Los Pegasus and The Crystal Empire. Well, I suppose Cadence got spanked, but that was Shining, not me.
"Listen AJ, I'm sorry, that was too far... I wasn't trying to do that," I said, my face contorting into a small grimace as I scratched the back of my head uneasily. I even snapped my fingers to fix her window.
So I silently followed her out of the house. I suppose I could give her the solace of not messing with her for a few minutes.
Applejack lead me to the barn and silently fastened a wagon to her back.
"Go on and grab one," she said in a low grumble.
It was obvious she was still upset... But I took the wagon, just like I was asked to.
The fields near the house were bare. I assumed they had already bucked the ones closest to home. Applejack and I travelled for about 10 minutes into the orchard, before she pulled a few wide brimmed buckets and placed them in a circle underneath the tree.
"Okay, it's real easy Discord. You just put the buckets 'round the trunk and you kick the tree real hard. You shouldn't have a problem kickin' things," she said.
I could feel the venom in her voice, and well, I wasn't trying to do that.
I watched as Applejack kick the tree, and watched as a small rainfall of apples fell in the buckets. She picked up the ones the hadn't quite made into the basket and threw them in the wagon, before maneuvering the apple buckets into the back of the cart.
"Go ahead and empty the buckets and so your own so I can go back to sleep," she said before leaning herself against the wagon.
I did as I had been told and placed the buckets around the next tree like I was asked. I wound up my leg and gave the tree a nice kick, and watched as ten or twelve apples slowly fell into the bucket. I was rather surprised by this, I put quite a bit of force into that kick. Nothing that a little magic couldn't solve, so I wound back up and hit it harder. I felt the tree shake with the impact, and to my delight, I managed to fill the buckets quite nicely.
Applejack came over and took the buckets without a word, before placing them back into the wagon. She fastened it before walking off, leaving me in the orchard.
I must say, I did not feel good about this at all.
"Applejack!" I called to her.
"Dear Celestia, what now?" she said, throwing her head back in frustration.
I shuffled after her, before I finally came to a stop beside her.
"I just wanted to say I was sorry. I didn't mean to be a jerk," I said, as sincerely as I could
Applejack looked off in the distance, thinking for a second.
"I forgive you, Discord, just please don't do this to me again," she said, continuing with the wagon.
"Oh, Applejack... I couldn't help but notice that you didn't have your hat,"
"What about it?"
"Well... Here," I said, snapping fingers. Suddenly, her Stetson materialized above her and fitted itself onto her head.
Applejack took the hat off and fixed her hair before putting it on, and taking a tired look at me.
"Thank you, Discord Sem-Pai" she said, before exploding into the sky in a trail of Apples. I then took off on my hover board, turning to my right and noticing a giant chimichanga with a pony dressed in red and black sitting on t-
"Discord! What art thou doing in my bed? And why are my belongings scattered about my chambers!"
"Gah, what?" I said, rising from Luna's bed. I looked outside and noticed that... It was sunrise?
"Answer me when I'm speaking to you!"
"What happened?" I said wearily, looking around. I was still in Luna's bedroom... Why?
Luna looked around the room, before catching sight if the lockbox, which had fallen to the ground.
Suddenly, Luna began struggling to keep a straight face, before she broke into laughter.
"Stop laughing at me! I think I've been Hoofied!"
Luna didn't stop laughing, she put a hoof to one of her sides as she tried to calm herself down, but she didn't stop laughing. She kept giggling for a good minute, before she calmed down enough to address me.
"You sprung a booby trap," she said, picking up the lockbox. "I figured I might lose this, so I filled it with a sleeping smoke powerful enough to put a regular colt to sleep for 50 years. Luckily for you, it lasted one night."
I took a look at the lockbox, and remembered the black smog... And suddenly, it all made sense.
I, the self proclaimed king of pranks, had been beaten by a box. And to add insult to injury, there was another lockbox in the lockbox.
I can hear you laughing, Sunbutt.