//------------------------------//
// Praise Discord - [comedy] 
// Story: The Treasure Trove of One-Shots and Story Prompts 
// by MrPengu1n 
//------------------------------//

"DisCORD!" Twilight shouted out her window, "GEt over here rIGHT NOW!"

With a poof, a pop, and several other onomatopoeias, Discord appeared in the armchair behind Twilight, wearing a robe and sipping Earl Grey Tea out of a teacup adorned with a mustache. "Can I help you with anything, Twilight?" He asked, eyes closed as he enjoyed his improbable drink.

Twilight frowned loudly at him, then marched over to her front door and swung it open, revealing a rather numerous gathering of ponies. The pony at the front of the line, upon the door being opened, cheered loudly, "Praise Discord!"

His cheers were answered by many similar cheers from the crowd behind him. Twilight shut the door and looked at Discord with her eyes. "Care to explain?" she asked questioningly.

Discord wore a snaggletoothed grin as he set down his tea, now not much more than a solid lump of tea, as he had opted to drink the cup instead. "Well, I am an immortal being," he reasoned, "I see no reason as to why I should not behave like one."

"By starting your own religion?!" Twilight shrieked incredulously.

Discord vaporized and reappeared next to Twilight, resting a claw on her shoulder and gesturing grandly with his other appendage. "I call it, Discordianism," he boasted. "Modest, I know."

Twilight rested her head heavily on her hoof, shaking her head disapprovingly, "Discord, please, would you get these ponies off of my lawn?" she asked flatly.

Discord recoiled, aghast, "Twilight, I am shocked! An intellectual such as yourself, I would have never guessed you to be the intolerant type-"

"Discord!" Twilight shouted, "They have been out there all night! I haven't gotten aNY sleep, and I have WORK to do!" She explained dramatically, her eye beginning to twitch.

Discord pursed his lips thoughtfully, "Aren't you the least bit curious about my religion?"

"No."

Discord made a surprised face at her lack of hesitation. "Alright, fine," he conceded, "I offer you a deal. Become a Discordian and I'll tell the Discordian Society to move elsewhere."

"Discordian Society," Twilight repeated monotonously.

"That's correct."

Twilight buried her face in her hooves, "What does that...mean..." she spoke, dying inside.

Discord wiggled his finger at her, "The Discordian Society has no definition."

"Is that it's definition?"

"Yes," Discord smiled.

"And how does one 'join' the Discordian Society," Twilight said, desperate to get the ponies off her lawn and get some sleep.

"If you want in on the Discordian Society, then declare yourself what you wish," Discord quoted, "Do what you like, and tell us about it. Or, if you prefer, don't. There are no rules anywhere. Praise Discord," he finished, reveling in his poetry.

"Is that a quote from something?" Twilight deduced, slightly worried for Discord's mental being.

"Yes, it is!" Discord nodded proudly, "I wrote a book for my religion, called the Principia Discordia. Shall I order you a copy?"

"No."

"Wonderful," Discord ignored. "Now then-"

"Discord, please," Twilight begged, "Just, tell me what I need to do. I am not in the mood nor the mental capacity to tolerate your shenanigans, and I am this close to flinging you outside and telling your Discordian Society that you're an imposter of the Holy Discord."

"Well that seems a bit harsh," Discord remarked.