Sandpoint, 2 of Rova (Presumably 25 of October 1000 SR), Afternoon
"You know AJ, you don't have to prove anything. Especially not after yesterday."
"Ah know Twi, an' Ah ain't provin' anythin'."
"Doesn't look like it to me."
"Oh, hush you Rainbow Dash. Ah'm fine, Ah can help. 'Sides, that Father Zantus fellar said Ah'm as fit as a fiddle, an' seeing as he an' 'Shy were the ones responsible fer mah recovery Ah'm inclined ta believe it."
This sort of banter was our companion for the last few minutes, ever since Belor, or should I say Sheriff Hemlock, the chief of Sandpoint Watch, approached us with a certain request. Of course, Applejack didn't want to sit idly by and wait for us, so she offered to participate, and by offer I mean refuse to take no for an answer. Despite the fact Father Zantus had apparently discharged her moments before and in spite of all the protests the girls put up, including that of Fluttershy herself, she was hay bent on going with us.
"I still find it horrid what you had to endure for the actual healing process to begin dear. I simply cannot imagine what it must have felt like." Rarity commented, referring to an earlier topic while shuddering in disgust.
"You got that right. Having all your burnt skin and flesh cut off and then regrown through magic doesn't exactly sound like my idea of an afternoon." Rainbow agreed, though she could've spare us the recap. It's really not a mental image I need right now, even if it explained the shiny new skin on AJ.
"Well Ah can't say nothin' 'bout that, Ah was unconscious when that happened." Applejack herself seemed completely uninterested in that line of conversation, either not caring about the fact she had her flesh peeled off or figuring it for what it really was: an attempt to persuade her not to join us.
"Oh come on Applejack, you really don't need to do this. Leave it to us; we'll deal with this problem in no time and be back in a jiffy." If there's one thing I could say about Rainbow, it's that she's persistent. But so was Applejack.
"Ah ain't leaving y'all ta do everythin' while Ah'm layin' around doin' nothin'. Ah'm not a freeloader."
"Applejack, nopo… body here thinks you're a freeloader. You don't need to prove anything." And back to Twilight, the cycle starts anew. It's about the fourth or fifth time that happened the last few minutes, and it was getting old fast.
"Your friend is right, miss Apple. Nobody here will hold it against you if you decide to sit this one through." I'm guessing I wasn't the only one finding the circular argument starting to get boring. Sheriff Hemlock decided to voice his own opinion in hopes of stopping this meaningless discussion. "I wouldn't even be asking any of you to do this if it wasn't for the fact most of my men are still injured."
"Ah know that. Ah just want ta contribute some and not feel useless, if ya know what Ah mean."
"Seriously Applejack, you're more stubborn than a mule." Even Twilight seemed to have enough of this, and she started it. Goes to show how persistent (or stubborn as Twi said) Applejack truly can be.
At this point I should probably explain what all this was about. It all started when Sheriff Hemlock accepted my offer to lead him to the girls, or at least I first noticed something was wrong back then. I may not be as good at reading ponies (or people) through their body language, but I could safely say that there was something troubling the man. He seemed a bit tense, as if something weighted on his mind heavily, but it wasn't my place to ask so I just let it slide and led him to his destination.
By the time we got to Applejack's bunk we were met by Father Zantus, who seemed to had just spoken with the girls himself, probably discharging AJ. The moment the two men noticed each other they both seemed to tense, or in the sheriff's case get tenser, and looked each other straight in the eye. I managed to spot a slight shake of the lead priest's head, as if telling the other man not to do something, but he was rewarded by a flat stare and soon afterwards passed him by, making his way through the curtains, me and Trixie following suit.
At first Sheriff Hemlock didn't seem to really want anything from the girls, at least not in the way that would make somepony one like him tense. He introduced himself formally to the girls as the sheriff of this small town (making me automatically look for a badge on his chest again), and then informed us that his men mentioned our involvement in repelling the goblin attack on the east gate. He also mentioned that something like that was no small feat, especially for unarmed civilians, and that it demanded to be properly rewarded, courtesy of the Sandpoint council, at which point he produced a sizable pouch filled with jingling coins. Of course that promptly led the girls to protest, saying that no reward was necessary and that they were just happy to help and all that stuff heroes are known for. In the end however they accepted, mainly when Twilight realized that refusing a reward may be considered a faux pas in human society. That and when Rarity realized how much they were being offered succumbed to her inner greed. Not that I blame her of course, the vision of receiving 200 golden sails would make even the most self-sacrificing pony think twice. Now that I think about it however, I'm beginning to think this was a way to butter us up for what was coming next.
Having the reward-part of the visit dealt with, Sheriff Hemlock went to what he called 'more pressing matters'. Mentioning that he was doing this reluctantly and that if it wasn't for the fact a large portion of his subordinates was out of commission he wouldn't trouble us with this issue, he nonetheless asked the girls and I if we were up to helping him with a certain matter. Not wanting to go in blind, Twilight asked for details first, an action that seemed to please the sheriff. Clearing his throat, Belor began a recap of what happened.
Apparently on his way to check in on his injured men Sheriff Hemlock ran into a worried-looking Naffer. The priest-slash-gravedigger had been hard at work digging graves for the unfortunate souls that perished during the raid when he noticed something out of place. One of the crypts had its doors slightly ajar, as if someone opened it in a hurry and didn't care to close it properly. He also mentioned that he saw strange lights coming from inside. Worst of all (at least in his opinion), Priest Naffer informed that it wasn't just any old crypt that had been opened, but the crypt housing the mortal remains of the former head priests of the congregation, and only a handful of people had access to it, all of whom were accounted for. That left only one possibility: someone had broken into the crypt for some nefarious reason and whoever it was, he was probably desecrating the bodies of the most honored of Sandpoint's deceased spiritual leaders.
Priest Naffer did the only thing he could in a situation like this. Silently creeping towards the door he slammed it shut and locked it, trapping whoever was inside, and left to go get help. That's where Sheriff Hemlock came in, and by extension we did as well. Whoever was trapped inside the crypt, he was going to have charges of desecrating a gravesite and possible grave robbing placed against him, and as such, he needed to be apprehended by an officer of the law. Belor however was only one man, and he really didn't want to take any chances, so he figured we might be of some help, especially if he would lend us his men's weapons. If everything went smoothly this would be a simple arrest attempt with the girls acting as backup in the off chance the culprit tried anything. Belor never explained what would be the worst case scenario though, which unfortunately didn't help my imagination.
As could be expected of Twilight and the gang, they didn't hesitate for too long. Fluttershy of course didn't want to have anything to do with this and would be perfectly fine with waiting for us in the cathedral with Applejack, but that idea went right out the window when AJ decided she was going with us. Rarity… well, she didn't look too pleased about all this, but nonetheless decided to join us, if not for any other reason than to provide moral support. And then there was me. I really didn't like the sound of all this, and as I said before, my imagination was providing me with images of zombies and other living dead rising from the grave to eat our faces. Actually, now that I think about it…
"T-Twilight?" My voice was far more shaky than I would want it to be. "What if this isn't a grave robber we're dealing with? What if it's something else, like… z-zombies?" I managed to ask, only to receive a flat, unamused look from Twi.
"That's not very likely Spike." She replied easily, standing with the others and waiting for Priest Naffer to open the main entrance to the graveyard. Her words weren't really that assuring.
"Not likely… but possible?" I pressed on, earning a roll of the eyes from Twilight.
"Seriously Spike, you need to cut on the comics. Some of them are just plain ridiculous and serve nothing but to rot your brain. Zombies, pff…" Okay, that was low. My comic book collection has nothing to do with zombies! I'm more into superhero stuff than the gritty trotting dead junk anyway.
"Your friend does rise a fair point though." My angry musings were interrupted by the voice of Priest Naffer, who finally unlocked the gate and let us into the boneyard. "While I wouldn't bet on there being actual zombies there, the one I managed to lock inside the crypt might be associated with necromancers. It wouldn't surprise me if he was trying to steal what remains of the former priests' bodies for some kind of godless experiment."
"Hold up, hold up… You mean to tell us that we might actually be dealing with living dead?!" I think Rainbow Dash voiced my concerns to a tee, and her earlier air of confidence seemed to waver when confronted with the possibility. But she wasn't the only one affected. Twilight looked like she just swallowed a lemon and stared wide-eyed at the priest, her face one of complete disbelief.
Priest Naffer shook his head and flashed us a smile that probably was meant to be reassuring. "I wouldn't worry so much if I were you. It's doubtful it even is a necromancer trapped inside there. And in the off chance that it is, I doubt the one inside the crypt is able to rise any monsters on his own. At most it's just an apprentice on a supply run."
"Apprentice… on a supply run?" Rarity asked slowly, slightly green to her face. "Do you mean by that what I think you mean by that?"
"As I said before –probably trying to steal the remains of our esteemed predecessors." That only served to make Rarity even greener.
By this point our group slowed down almost to a crawl. The revelation of zombies actually existing in these parts, as well as the notion that there might be those that I assume dealt in raising the dead from their graves was a real shocker to all of us, and seemed to knock confidence out of most of our systems. Suddenly the idea of helping out Sheriff Hemlock with this arrest business began to look like a really bad one. And when even your resident daredevil by the name of Rainbow Dash loses her spunk you know you're screwed. Just what did we get ourselves into?
We didn't have too much time to consider our life choices before we arrived at the spot. Surrounded by several gray headstones we found ourselves on a slightly less-packed portion of the cemetery. With the dark, overcast sky over our heads and the cathedral looming just to the side casting its shadow upon us, the place looked like something straight out of a horror novel. Several freshly dug graves only made it worse by filling the air with the smell of upturned soil. And of course there was the crypt itself.
It wasn't a big structure, far smaller in fact than what I expected it to be. It was actually quite modest when I think about it. With hardly any decorations but a small line of text chiseled above the entrance informing who rested inside it was a really plain structure. The most I could say about any 'extravagance' when concerning the crypt was that it was made out of white marble, but even then it was flawed at parts, making it look less like the grand resting place of a lead priest and more like a cheap imitation of one. It didn't make it feel any less creepy unfortunately, and the moment my eyes lied upon it I let out a strangled meep and gulped down hard, knowing that whatever was inside wasn't going to be pleasant.
We were startled by a semi-loud shriek, one that could belong only to Fluttershy. Turning around to face her, we were greeted by the site of the meek pegasus whipping her head around wildly, as if in search of a way out, her knees bent in preparation to bolt in a moment's notice.
"Fluttershy, sweetums, calm down!" Rarity, who was the nearest to 'Shy tried to, well, calm her down. "What happened?"
"S-something slid down the back of my neck." Fluttershy stuttered out, still looking around with her eyes almost bulging out her head. "I-it was c-cold and wet and…"
"Darling, please, take a deep breath and tell us what happened, slowly." Rarity said soothingly placing a reassuring hoof hand on her shoulder. Upon that physical contact Fluttershy seemed to calm down somewhat, and did as she was asked. Yet before she could even start to explain I felt something fall directly on the top of my head. Something cold and wet…
"Wha…?" I looked up, only for the same thing to fall directly into my eye. Blinking rapidly, I realized what that was, and couldn't help but comment on the sheer absurd of the situation. "You have got to be kidding me."
Less than two seconds passed and everypony body realized what had startled poor, meek Fluttershy. It was nothing more than a lucky raindrop that managed to find its way to the small exposed portion of 'Shy's neck, a herald of the downpour that decided it was a great time to shower us with cold, autumn rain. Within moments everybody's clothes started to cling to their bodies, and the girls had an additional weight in the form of wet hair on their heads, a fact that wouldn't go unnoticed by Rarity.
"Great, just great." She muttered darkly, brushing aside a stray lock of hair that stuck to her face. "Can we please get this over and dealt with? I would rather not stay a minute longer than absolutely necessary out in the rain."
"Um… sorry." Fluttershy added, eyes downcast. Even despite the veil she still wore one could see the embarrassed blush covering her face. Nopony seemed to pay her any mind though, expecting a reaction like this, or at least that's how the girls reacted. Trixie was a different story entirely.
"Pathetic." She muttered, shaking her head and looking back at the crypt. I was probably the only one to hear her say that, and I wanted to kick her for that or something so hard I had to physically restrain myself from doing just that. Fortunately I remembered what almost happened in the cathedral not half an hour ago; if not for that, I would've dug myself into a hole so deep I wouldn't be able to see the sun ever again. Man can Trixie be scary…
"Everyone, get ready. I'm opening the door." Sheriff Hemlock warned us over the sound of the rain. The downpour intensified even more in the last couple of seconds, becoming a literal wall of water and soaking us to the bone.
Sheriff Hemlock and Priest Naffer seemed content to wait for us to finish before getting to work. Once our attention was back on topic the disabled cleric handed a simple iron key to the guard captain and stepped back, his work here done. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself for what he was about to do, Belor approached the iron-bound door and placed the key in its keyhole. Looking back at the girls and I, our group forming a semicircle around the entrance, Rainbow and AJ gripping the handles of their borrowed swords and Pinkie, Rarity and myself doing the same thing with shorter variants of that weapon, the sheriff nodded approvingly. Fluttershy at some point managed to hide behind a gravestone and only a small bit of her pink mane was visible from behind it, and Twilight and Trixie seemed content to observe from a distance, both of them leafing through the contents of their books as if in search for any spells that could be useful in this situation. We were as ready as we would ever be.
The sound of the key being turned was barely audible over the ambient noise, yet it still managed to send a chill down my spine. Belor, loosening his own sword in its scabbard raised his free hand and knocked on the wooden door firmly, trying to convey as much authority as he could through this simple action.
"This is the Sandpoint watch force! Step out of the crypt with your hands over your head! I repeat: step out of the crypt with your hands over your head! Failure to comply will result in the use of force!" If the knocking didn't convey his authority than his voice surely did. Sheriff Hemlock was all business right now, and his tone of voice left no room for arguments. Still, the crypt door didn't so much as creek open a tenth of an inch; whoever was inside wasn't intimidated by the guard captain. Muttering silent obscenities, Sheriff Hemlock pulled out his sword and grabbed at the door handle.
"Get ready, this may get ugly." He warned us just before he pulled the door open, weapon at the ready.
For a second we were expecting someone to rush out of the crypt, some sort of drab-clad individual to barrel past the sheriff, trying to make a break for it. That didn't happen though, and the girls and I were left in a nervous silence, the only sound being the constant of rain falling on the ground. We stayed like that, tense, even Pinkie Pie staying as still as she could possibly be, and waited, hoping that whatever was going to happen wouldn't end up in a fight.
Then, after several seconds of silence Sheriff Hemlock emerged back from the crypt, a confused look on his normally stern face. He cast his eyes over our little group and settled on Priest Naffer, who himself looked surprised at the appearance of the sheriff.
"Are you absolutely sure you've locked whoever was in the crypt Vosk?" Sheriff Hemlock asked suspiciously, slowly re-sheathing his sword. Priest Naffer nodded.
"Yes, I'm pretty sure whoever was inside got locked. Why?"
"Well then, either you've been seeing thing, old cripple, and wasting my time, or whoever was inside can turn into mist and just slip away through the cracks in the wall." The guard captain replied with annoyance, stepping from the threshold and folding his arms. "There's nothing in there besides coffins and bones."
"What?!" Naffer looked shocked and started to hobble closer to the sheriff. "That can't be right, I know what I saw! Whoever was inside couldn't just… wait." He suddenly stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening a fraction. "Did you say there are bones outside the sarcophagi?"
Belor seemed confused by the question but answered either way. "Yeah, they're littering the floor to put it bluntly. Why?"
Color drained from the priest's face as he looked intently at the guard. He immediately resumed hobbling towards the crypt, almost breaking out into a wobbly run. "Belor, shut the door, now!"
Naffer's warning came a fraction of a second too late though. Before Sheriff Hemlock had the chance to react something slammed into his back, sending him sprawling to the muddy ground, and with unnatural quickness it stepped outside the crypt, letting us see it in all its terrible splendor.
"T-that's impossible!" Was all Twilight managed to say as her eyes threatened to fall out of their sockets when she took in the spindly shape that emerged from the stone crypt. My reaction was, if not quieter than most definitely more expressive, as I stumbled back and fell on my butt, staring with fright at the sight. For there, from the crypt on hallowed ground emerged not one but two creatures defiling life itself.
There were skeletons. Two human-sized, definitely humanoid skeletons, standing on their bony feet and moving without the aid of muscles, animated by some unnatural power that defied explanation. Their bones, yellowed with age were covered in strange markings the meaning of which I couldn't even start to make out, painted on them with a substance so red it looked like fresh blood. But probably the most striking feature of them was the flames covering them whole, seemingly doing them no harm yet burning like if fueled by a flammable liquid. It almost looked like the fire was their actual body, filling them with burning insides and covering them in scorching skin, their smooth heads covered in flaming manes. The whole picture looked like something out of a horror story.
Everypony froze seeing those things emerge from the crypt. No one was expecting something like that to happen, even I only half expected to see an actual living dead here, but the truth on the matter was we were just faced with not one but two monsters that rose from the grave. A quick glance confirmed that Fluttershy was desperately looking for a way out of here and that Rainbow Dash, who I expected to get ready for a fight was just standing there, frozen in spot, with her eyes glued to the flaming creatures. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was terrified out of her mind. Not that I blame her; I was pretty much shaking like an autumn leaf at the site of them.
"Dagnabbit, and Ah were just treated fer burns!" I was brought out of my stupor by Applejack's comment. Unlike Rainbow she didn't seem to have frozen up at the site of flaming skeletons and was actually preparing to face them, tightening her grip on her sword. Taking a page from her book, Pinkie seemed to figure that taunting the skeletons was a good idea.
Seriously, don't ask.
"Hey guys? When was the last time you ate? You're so skinny it almost looks unhealthy. You should go see a doctor about it." She proclaimed, giggling, completely oblivious to the danger.
"Pinkie, please, don't agitate the…" Rarity tried to hush her, but that's about as far as she got before the skeletons turned to face them and not wasting a single second bound towards them.
It was a surreal sight, seeing two flaming skeletons of beings once thought only myths running towards your friends. Their movements, not restricted by tendons and muscles and not needing them in the first place were surprisingly quick and graceful, impossibly so for a living being to recreate. The heat of their surrounding flames was enough for most of the rain to evaporate before it even managed to touch them, enshrouding them in a barely noticeable mist. The two undead creatures raised their skeletal hands, their fingers ready to claw and rend the flesh of the living, their phalanges sharpened to wicked points as if specially made to resemble claws.
There was a moment of commotion as the two undead beings charged. They easily closed the distance between Applejack and themselves, and they both seemed to be determined to claw her face off, ignoring the others. One of them slashed with its claw-like appendages, forcing AJ to block the blow with her weapon. A reasoning clang of bone hitting metal could be heard as Applejack stumbled back, not from the force of the blow but from the near infernal heat emanating from the skeleton. Meanwhile the second undead managed to close its distance and before our farm-oriented friend managed to regain her footing clawed at her as well. She barely managed to avoid being hit, jumping to the side and losing her footing completely, ending up sprawled on the muddy ground a few hoofs from her assailants.
AJ's plight seemed to be what the girls needed to regain their senses, or at least the willingness to fight. After all, one can never say that Pinkie regained her senses the same way other ponies do. Speaking of which, our pink party planner seemed completely unfazed by the brutal assault and still grinning like a madmare pranced over to the nearest skeleton and slashed at it with her short blade. Unfortunately she missed, and her attack seemed to gain the attention of the undead she was trying to hit. But just as it was turning to face her, the fiery creature's skull did a complete 360 when it was hit by the flat of Rarity's sword, the beauty not wasting any more time to engage the monster and dragging off Pinkie who was rendered helpless by her own giggles at the admittedly silly site.
The second skeleton had trouble of its own. After he and his companion attacked Applejack it made the one mistake you do not do if you want your continuous existence assured: it started to advance on the downed mare while within Fluttershy's eyesight. Like in her confrontation with the goblins after they killed that poor dog she picked a number of pebbles from the ground and started to chuck them at the monsters, a slight bluish glow indicating they were filled with her newly discovered magic power. One of the pebbles hit their mark, striking the burning bone pile straight in the temple, shattering it and making a piece of the bone matter fall inside. It would be a deadly blow to a living creature to be sure, but the skeleton was far from living, and so it was only a mild inconvenience, and one that wasn't about to last for long.
It didn't take even a second before something disturbing happened. The red, blood-like markings on the skeleton, the ones on the skull at least seemed to glow a sickly crimson, expanding like an inkblot on paper and reaching for the hole. Once it reached it, the shattered part of its skull seemed to slowly reattach itself to where it belonged, as if a piece of a macabre puzzle was fitting itself to its brethrens. It happened maybe in the span of four or five seconds, but it happened nonetheless, and the broken off piece of the skull seemed to reattach itself, mending with the undamaged part through the spread out red markings and regrow. Before it was even complete though the monster's head turned to regard Fluttershy, the normally meek pegasus both angry and surprised at the being's regenerative properties, and it turned its steps from Applejack towards her.
Have I mentioned the skeleton really sucked at decision-making?
When the flaming amalgamation of bones directed its steps towards her childhood friend, Rainbow Dash seemed to finally snap out of her stupor, at least partially. She positioned herself between the advancing skeleton and Fluttershy, albeit reluctantly, and readied herself to confront the undead if need be. She still looked as if she would gladly be anywhere but here though, a site I would never have associated with her if I didn't see it for myself. Was she… was she scared of the two living dead? Well, whether or not she was afraid didn't matter right now; RD had Fluttershy to protect.
The damaged skeleton didn't even acknowledge Rainbow Dash stood in its way, its hollow eye sockets fixed on Fluttershy and its stride not faltering in the slightest. That fortunately was all the better for Dash. Using the fact the monster didn't seem to even notice her she gripped her sword more tightly and swung it wildly at the undead, aiming for its already damaged temple. Her unfocused state however made her blow inaccurate and she barely scraped the skeleton in the forehead with the tip of her blade, producing a barely noticeable scratch mark that was quickly melded by the crimson markings. In the end all Rainbow managed to accomplish was for the skeleton to notice her, and that was either a good thing or a really bad thing, depending on what way you looked at it.
This was beginning to look worse and worse with each passing second. Not only were the girls competing against the living dead, but whatever fueled their unlife also made sure to repair any damage they sustained, and the sheer heat their flames radiated prevented anypony from getting near enough or stay long enough within range to actually deal any substantial damage to them. As if that wasn't enough, the only local with any substantial combat experience, Sheriff Hemlock to be precise, had problems with getting back on his feet. It seems the armor he was wearing was weighing him down enough for the mud he fell into to suck him in. Even with Priest Naffer helping him up it still would leave us alone to deal with the two skeletons for some time. In other words –we're bucked.
Swallowing down hard, I steeled myself for what I decided I had to do. With Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, Dash and Fluttershy already having their hooves hands full and Twilight and Trixie still staring in shock at the unusual show of magic the animated flaming skeletons were I had to do something. Recalling the feeling that accompanied me using my magic I forced it to exit my outstretched right claw hand and form an inverted bowl shape in front of me. It… was easier than I thought it would be to be honest. Maybe I'm getting the hang of this, who knows? Either way I managed to create that transparent shield of mine and did the first thing that came to my mind.
I charged the one advancing at Rarity and Pinkie.
I really should've thought this through first.
I'm not sure what I was thinking when I decided tackling the flaming skeleton was a good idea. I was probably expecting the magical shield I produced to block off heat as well as physical contact. As it appeared however, the spell didn't work that way. I may have knocked the undead over, yes, and I did it without directly coming into contact with it (which didn't mean I didn't feel the collision in my arm), but in the process I had the dubious pleasure of getting my newly acquired eyebrows singed. Not to mention I'm pretty sure that my hair would catch on fire if it wasn't thoroughly soaked, but I digress. What matters was that I knocked the skeleton on the ground and into the mud, momentarily extinguishing the fire it produced.
"Spike?" Stand straight, chest forward and try to play it cool buddy. Rarity just took notice of your intervention.
"Oh, eee… hey Rarity, you doing fine?" Sometimes even I'm surprised how much like a dork I can behave. Stupid, stupid, stupid…
"I'm… good, thank you darling. Now quickly, before that ghastly excuse for a clothes hanger gets up." She helped me to me feet and momentarily rushed to the downed skeleton, the bony abomination already having its hands full with… trying to get Pinkie Pie off of him?
I saw a lot of disturbing images living with Twilight over the years, most of them her own doing, especially in moments of great stress. But watching Pinkie sit on the back of a walking (now more like lying) skeleton and beating it with its own hand (she obviously pried it off of it earlier with her short sword) definitely took the cake. It was even stranger once I noticed the muddy hand she was using seemed to still act like it was attached to the skeleton and was clawing at the air in a vain attempt to hit her. And then there was Pinkie being, well, Pinkie, which consisted mainly of one thing:
"*smack* Stop hitting yourself! *smack* Stop hitting yourself! *smack* Stop hitting yourself! *smack*" I'll… refrain from commenting on that and just say that despite it being seemingly completely nonsensical it was actually working. The bludgeoning trauma her blows were dealing were at the very least far more significant than whatever cuts the girls' blades were dealing.
Taking a page from Pinkie's book Rarity decided that dealing bludgeoning damage to the skeleton was a better way of taking care of it. Although if circumstances were different I'm sure a sophisticated and beautiful mare like her wouldn't do such a thing, Rarity skidded to a halt in front of the downed undead and began brutally hitting it's exposed spine with the pommel of her short sword, trying to shatter it. Figuring this was as good an idea as any I quickly joined in and tried my best to ensure the bony abomination wouldn't walk again.
We weren't even a few seconds at work when something started to happen. At first it was barely noticeable, like a feeling that there was something we've forgotten about, but that started to rapidly change. Pinkie was the first to truly notice it however, and reacted to it in a manner true to her personality.
"Is it just me or is it getting hot out here?" She asked, using the skeleton hand to scratch her own head. It seemed to have become strangely limp for some reason.
Rarity and I exchanged confused looks. Only after Pinks mentioned it did we actually notice, but it was getting increasingly hot despite the downpour, and…
Uh-oh…
The limp, actually motionless form of the skeleton seemed to radiate an increasing amount of heat with each passing second. The mud that covered the undead started to rapidly dry, encasing it in a thin layer of earth, which started to dry even further and crack like scorched soil. The temperature however didn't show any signs of stopping there, and after a short moment the skeleton seemed like it would burst into flames again at any second. The realization came a second too late however.
"It's gonna blow!" I bellowed, trying to jump off of the undead and gain some distance. Rarity figured that out a second earlier and was already off the monster, making an undignified leap away from it. And then it happened.
I felt it before I heard it; a wave of intense heat washed over me, a concussive blast hitting my hastily oriented shield with enough force to send me flying. Then the loud bang hit my eardrums, muting every other sound and replacing it with high-pitched ringing. Lastly I saw myself being raised into the air, flung away from what once was the skeleton we were bashing, fragments of the living dead's bone structure clinking against my see-through shield. It was in that moment I realized what had happened; the undead flaming skeleton, once damaged enough, was rigged to explode in a fiery blaze.
I didn't have time to ponder the implication of this discovery, nor did I have the time to wonder what happened to Rarity and Pinkie, for I wasn't out of the woods yet. Reality had decided that it really didn't like me and decided that it would be fun if I ended up in an early grave, and that's just what happened to me. Like literally. I mean the grave part. I mean… ugh… I ended up falling into one of the freshly dug graves that Priest Naffer was working on earlier. And let's just say that packed earth tends to behave like a ceramic bowl when it comes to holding liquids.
Is it weird that I almost drowned in less than two hoofs of water at the bottom of a grave?
Coughing up a storm I managed to get on my feet and take stock of the predicament I found myself in. Human graves were, let's just say, deep. Like twelve hoofs deep, which's twice my new height. And with the constant heavy rain the bottom of the grave was filling up nicely with water at a steady pace. In other words if I don't get out of here I'll probably drown. The only option that I had therefore was to try and climb out. But you know how it is when your normal natural equipment in the form of your claws is taken away from you and you have to try and scale the wet, slippery walls with your bare hands. Let's just say it took me a little while and that I was thankful nopony had seen me fumble.
When I finally managed to get out of the grave, however that may sound, I immediately looked for Rarity and Pinkie Pie, hoping they managed to get out of the explosion's reach in time. Rarity I found without much problem, and I was relieved to find she was okay, if not a little bit ruffled. Figuring the explosion was the last we would see of the skeleton she moved to help Rainbow Dash and Applejack take care of the second one and in doing so protect Fluttershy. Pinkie was alright too, though judging from the state of her clothes she wasn't A-okay a few moments earlier. She was with Priest Naffer, helping the man of faith finally dig out Sheriff Hemlock, and it was obvious that she had been magically healed. Sighing in relief that both of them were good I was about to join the fight with the second undead when I noticed something strange.
By complete chance my eyes fell on what remained of the exploded skeleton. A still steaming pile of bones lie clattered on the ground, darkened from the sudden explosion. It seemed almost like a poetic end for a creature like this, that is until I noticed something. The red markings, the same like the ones responsible for healing whatever damage the second skeleton sustained seemed to glow a faint crimson, immediately sending a chill down my spine. The undead couldn't possibly regenerate from something like this… could it?
I watched in silent terror as my fears were made reality. As the faint red glow intensified with each passing second, the bones making up the skeleton seemed to shift and shake under the fell power. Those that were scattered and broken by the explosion seemed to mend together and roll to the main pile, those that were already there brightened and seemed to fit into place, as if an invisible hand was placing them in the correct order. Finally, when the last of its ribs sprung into place and its skull rolled into place on top of its neck the skeleton stirred and started to rise to its feet, seemingly no worse for wear, once again covering itself in a cloak of flames.
"Oh come on!" I finally managed to utter, frustration overriding my fear. How were we supposed to deal with something like this? You beat it until it explodes and it still regenerates? This was not only looking bleaker and bleaker by the second, but also was so utterly unfair that I wanted nothing more than to tear the guy responsible for this mess a new one. Actually, that feeling might prove useful now that I think about it.
I once again concentrated what little magical power I could in the palm of my hand, this time trying to fill it with what anger I could. Letting my frustration guide me, I managed within seconds to produce a ball of green, seemingly-flaming magic to hover over my palm. Wasting no time I willed it to strike the newly arisen skeleton, hoping to at least slow it down.
It appears that the regeneration magic working on skeletons needs some time to fully kick in after the undead monster reforms itself. When my bolt of magic hit the creature, I was expecting it to annoy it maybe or damage a bone or two if I were lucky. I wasn't prepared for the damn thing to once again explode in a fiery haze. Blinking owlishly at the site that brought forth the attention of a few of the girls I slowly lowered my claw hand and cleared my throat awkwardly.
"Okay, that happened." I muttered to myself, looking at the pile of bones once again lying on the ground. As before it started to glow a faint red and the bones started to shift and shake, making me realize this was nowhere near the end.
Figuring I had a few moments to spare before the skeleton was back in working condition I decided to help out the girls with their own living dead. Once again concentrating on producing a bolt of magic I turned to face them, only to be greeted by a rather amusing site. You see, when the two undead first attacked her, Applejack was outnumbered by them, and her near nonexistent experience with swordplay also put a wrench in her ability to effectively deal with them. But now the tables have turned. With the aid of Rainbow Dash and Rarity (who out of the two was probably there only as a sort of distraction) the skeleton didn't know where to focus and who to concentrate its efforts on, and in doing so left itself open to attacks, a fact Applejack was keen on utilizing to the best of her abilities.
When I turned in their direction Applejack was in the process of smacking the skeleton in its… wait, what's that bone even called? A collarbone? I'm pretty sure ponies don't have that. Then again, these weren't pony skeletons, so yeah. Either way Applejack smacked that with the flat of her sword, shattering it and rendering its left arm useless. For about three to four seconds, which was how long it took for the bone to snap back into position and mend itself with that dark magic or whatever it was that healed it. Fortunately, that was more than enough for Rainbow Dash to give it a smack of her own, her strike shattering two of the monster's ribs, and then jumped away from the heat it radiated. Just as the skeleton was about to turn around and retaliate another hit from AJ reopened the not-entirely mended hole in the side of its skull, jumping away from the infernal heat soon after her swing landed. And it went on like that, neither of the girls managing to damage the undead enough for it to go into overload and explode. And I aimed to change that situation.
I was about to let my magic bolt loose when I spotted from the corner of my eye movement. Against my better judgment I hazarded a peek in the general direction of the commotion, and found something that made me pause, a grin spreading on my face. It seemed my earlier stunt with the exploding skeleton was enough to either snap Twilight out of her awe-induced stupor, or played on her ambition in the right way, for she finally decided to get involved in the fight. Took her long enough; the girls and I could've been seriously injured by now, not to mention… And there I go again. We really need to work on our tempers.
As I was about to say Twilight decided it was a good idea to finally get involved in the fight. I noticed how she was furiously leafing through her book, searching for what I assumed was a fitting spell, and after a few moments found what she was looking for. Wasting little to no time she started to chant an arcane formula that to me seemed like nothing more than gibberish and drew her free hand back, palm open and fingers slightly apart. At first it didn't seem to be working, all Twi did was just make that weird gesture and chant, but after closer inspection I noticed something odd that must've somehow been connected to her spell.
While the rain was still falling as strong as ever, dousing everything as far as the eye could reach with water, Twilight seemed to stand in a dry zone of sorts. No rain was falling on her, and the ground around her seemed to quickly dry out, as if under the baking light of the desert sun. The first part I could understand; Rainbow once left an opening in the sky so that Twilight could eat without getting wet (a 'favor' she wanted to use to get a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala), who says something like that wasn't just happening right now. After a simple glance upwards though I could file this idea between my 'yeah right' folder and my 'nope' folder. Rain was still falling on her, but it just didn't reach her. Curiously enough though it did seem that the water was behaving as if it hit an invisible barrier and… wait. Is it trickling in to Twi's drawn hand? Well color me gray and call me Rocky, it is trickling in like that!
Only when I noticed the rivulets of water trailing to her hand had I noticed what really was happening. Twilight, or rather the spell she was about to cast was drawing all the water from her nearby surroundings and concentrating it into a levitating blob of muddy-brown liquid. The gigantic droplet was already the size of a watermelon and it just kept getting bigger and bigger, and I had no doubt in my mind that it would hurt like hay to get hit by that.
When Twi decided the water bullet was large enough she finally let it loose. Bellowing a loud warning she pushed the sphere of water in the direction of the skeleton, sending it on its way. The gigantic droplet possessed pretty neat acceleration, reaching the speed of several dozen miles per hour within just a second, distorting and elongating itself as it went, still sucking out moisture from its surrounding and still growing as it went. Barely four seconds after Twilight gave the girls the heads up and not a second after the last of them managed to dodge to the side did the now literal spear of water hit the unsuspecting skeleton straight in its center of mass.
The staggering force of the speeding mass of water was enough to send the relatively light undead flying several hoofs back, sprawling on the muddy ground in a heap. The creature looked almost miserable, its flames extinguished by the mass of liquid, its bones dripping with mud as it tried to get back on its feet. It looked even more pathetic after a second spell hit it.
I was so focused on what Twilight was doing that I almost forgot she wasn't the only one with a spellbook in our group. It took me hearing her voice chant a series of unintelligible syllables to remember she was even there. Trixie, who up until now seemed to be content to just watch us deal with the undead on our own decided that she would not be outdone by Twilight. When she noticed her cast a spell she quickly leafed through her own collection of magic, and finding one that seemed to fit her desires she pulled out that star-tipped wand of hers and started to make a series of complex motions with it, ending it with an impressive flourish.
The tip of the wand seemed to glow a faint blue for a second, the star producing a small amount of heavy mist, quickly cleared out by the rain. Then, as if just waiting to be discharged it produced an almost invisible pale-blue ray, one that Rainbow Dash made acquaintance with already. The ray of magical frost closed the distance between Trixie and her target in moments, leaving the skeleton barely any time to react. The undead amalgamation of bones seemed to understand (don't ask me how anything without a brain can think) what this was, and it seemed to actually fear it. It tried to shield itself from the ray with its bony arms, an effort both valiant and completely ridiculous since it would get hit either way. Still it tried to protect itself somehow and ended up getting hit square in the skull for its efforts.
The moment the ray hit the skeleton I knew this was going to be good. The monster was still covered in mud and water, and since the spell was strong enough to leave a sizable patch of frost on a wall in a warm inn it was bound to have dramatic results in these conditions. And let me tell ya –boy was that a result worth witnessing. The skeleton, almost every inch of it, was covered in a thick layer of frost within seconds, freezing in place in its defensive stance, losing its balance and dropping to the ground seconds later. As it hit the muddy earth it shattered into pieces, each bone separate from the other, like if whatever glue was holding them together just disappeared. And then, in a fireworks-like show of coordinated pyrotechnics each bone burst into flames, one after another, each separately. It was truly a magnificent sight to behold.
I'm not sure if that was what Trixie was going for: was she willingly working with Twilight, deciding that her help might be vital to our success, or was it just a vain attempt to show her up and prove she could be as good, if not better than her? That didn't matter. What really mattered was that her little show got rid of the undead, and that despite being a deadweight up until now in this fight she managed to contribute. Now if either she or Twilight could find a way to make the skeletons actually stay down, that would be sweet.
Seeing that the girls had things under control I concentrated again on the second skeleton, or rather on the pile of regenerating and reforming bones. As I expected, the undead was slowly putting itself together from my earlier magical blow. In fact, it was almost done with it and would any second now burst into flames and rise to its feet again. I was however prepared for that, my bolt of green magic (still sounds weird saying that) hovering over my right claw hand, ready to be used in a moment's notice.
Just when I was expecting the undead to reach the point it regained its fighting capability I had been forestalled from letting loose my little ball of frustrations by someone I almost forgot was there with us. It seems that Sheriff Hemlock finally managed to free himself from his miry trap, his armor as well as most of his face covered in a thick layer of mud, and decided he didn't want to be seen as a deadweight. Wonder if Trixie's example had anything to do with that decision… Either way the guard captain charged the reforming skeleton full speed and did something I wasn't quite expecting.
The moment he was within reach of it, Sheriff Hemlock quickly bent down and grabbed at the reforming skeleton's ribcage with his gloved hand. Then, in a show of just how strong he really was the man chucked the whole amalgamation of magically-bound bones several hoofs in the air, in the general direction the one frozen was lying. The skeleton sailed through the air, flailing limply as it went, the few fragments of its structure not yet in place falling from it yet still rolling in its direction, trailing after the main 'body'. But as it hit the ground with a wet splash I couldn't help but wonder what this was supposed to accomplish.
As it would seem, I was about to find out.
"Naffer!" The sheriff shouted urgently over the sound of the downpour. "Now! Do it now!"
Priest Naffer seemed to be waiting just for that. With a well practiced, almost methodical motion he pulled out that small bauble from beneath his garb, the one that now I realized represented his goddess, the Celestia-like Sarenrae. I was confused by that at first. Last time he grabbed that symbol it produced that healing light-thing, the one reminding me of the thing that brought us here in the first place. I couldn't figure what healing magic was supposed to do to a creature that was already dead. My confusion started to dissipate when I heard the chant the man loudly uttered while rising his pendant high over his head, a chant starkly different from the one used when he tried to heal Rarity.
"May the searing light of the Dawnflower cleanse you!" Okay, so it wasn't meant to heal but to hurt this time. Interesting.
Even more interesting was how the magical light emanating from the necklace looked like. Gone was the bright yet soft glow that seemed to have a mind of its own. Gone was the light that reminded me so strongly of the being that was the reason we were here. In its place was a different kind of illumination; a sharper, more blinding type of shine, like a sun glare that actively tried to blind you. It seemed also to be more precise than its healing counterpart, zeroing in directly on the pile of undead bones that were moments from reforming completely. And when the beam of light hit them directly…
It's fascinating how magic, even one that seems so similar to a beneficial effect can in fact be quite the opposite. When you witness light, seemingly a harmless thing in on itself burn deeply into bones, with a power both incredible and terrifying, you can't help but feel respect towards the arcane. As the rays of the admittedly searing light fell on the bones they singed and smoked, a whispery dark vapor lifting from them like smoke from an extinguished campfire. Yet the most prominent feature was that the crimson markings on their surface, the same ones that seemed to control the regenerative properties of the undead flaked off their surface like old scales from a dragon's hide, lifting into the air like sawdust only to evaporate into nothingness. It was truly an incredible site.
The girls and I stayed silent, eyes glued to the smoking pile of bones as the light from Priest Naffer's bauble receded. Twilight had a glint in her eyes, one that I learned to associate with a will to research the hay out of whatever she just witnessed. Was it directed at the unusual show of magic performed by the holy man or rather at the prospect of living dead being real was secondary at best. The rest, and it's safe to assume I too had varying expressions of relief on our faces, especially Rainbow Dash seemed to be thankful this whole mess was over. I even let my magic-ball-wielding hand drop to my side, the magical missile just disappearing into thin air. We stayed like that for a moment, letting it sink in that yes, this really did just happen, and letting ourselves come to terms with the fact we ended up in a world where even the dead could still be dangerous. And then all that was shattered by one, simple phrase.
"Whelp, that was one heck of a bonefire." Pinkie never was one to stay serious for long, but this was ridiculous. She was already her perky self, smiling brightly at her own joke and nosing around the pile of bones that for once looked like they weren't going to come to life again.
Priest Naffer was the first to shake off the effects of her little pun. He approached the steaming pile of human remains and kneeled in front of them, taking out something I couldn't quite make out from my position from his colorful attire.
"Sacrilegious rituals, desecrating the remains of our forefathers… Is there no bounds to what evil men can do?" He said, mostly to himself if his tone of voice was anything to go by.
"Anything you can tell us about the bastards' origins?" Sheriff Hemlock asked approaching the priest. Naffer sent him a cold glare from his kneeling position.
"Show some respect Hemlock, these are the bones of the head priests of our congregation." He reprimanded the guard captain coolly, an action that made Sheriff Hemlock roll his eyes.
"Yeah, and they're the same thing that could have killed the girls here if they didn't prove capable enough to handle them. Your point?" Priest Naffer looked like he wanted to argue, but he couldn't find the right words. Sighing in defeat he looked back at the pile of bones.
"There's not much I can tell. I'm not a necromancer, I don't know even remotely enough about it to hazard any sort of guess about their origins. The most I can tell is that they were some strange variants of a common animated skeleton, and that whoever created them wasn't an amateur."
"Hold up a second." Twilight decided to hop into the conversation, the same curious glint in her eyes still present. "If you don't know enough about whatever magic fueled these creatures, than how were you able to make sure they won't get up again? Surely you must know something." Priest Naffer gave her a scrutinizing look for a second before he answered.
"Truth be told, I'm not sure if they won't regenerate again." He answered sincerely, making Twilight (and the rest of us for that matter) take a cautious step back from the pile. "Channeling positive energy from the godly realm of Sarenrae has a large chance to permanently destroy any type of undead however, and I am willing to take the risk and say they won't be getting up again. But just to be on the safe side…"
Priest Naffer grabbed the object he pulled out earlier again, letting me take a closer look at it. The object seemed to be a small bottle with some sort of shimmery liquid, seemingly shining with an inner glow of itself filling it. The priest uncorked the bottle and carefully poured its content over the bones, allowing it to mix with the rainwater and mud and seemingly disappear.
"There, done." Naffer declared, hiding the empty bottle back from where he pulled it. "If there still was any dark magic fueling these abominations it should be gone."
"I hope you're right Vosk, I wouldn't want them to wake up while in the evidence cellar." Sheriff Hemlock commented, earning himself an immediate glare from the priest.
"You want to take them to the garrison?" He asked sharply, and after he received a nod in confirmation he continued. "You know I can't allow that. They're still the remains of our most esteemed dead, I cannot possibly allow you to take them just like that."
"And I'm not taking them as you put it 'just like that'." Belor replied unfazed by the protest. "Like it or not, the bones are evidence in a case of the praxis of necromancy in Sandpoint, and as such I have to confiscate them and let a professional conduct a magical investigation to figure out who could've done this. And you know I have full authority to do just that."
Priest Naffer fell silent at that, trying to figure out something to say to that and failing. For my part I didn't know what all the fuss was about. Why not just give the sheriff the bones? I mean sure, they were the remains of someone important, but that shouldn't stand in the way of finding out who did this to them, right?
Finally, after several moments of silence Naffer came up with a response, though he said it with a defeated tone of voice.
"You'll need to bring this up with Abstalar. I'm not entitled to make decisions about exhuming anyone on the cemetery."
"This hardly qualifies as an exhumation attempt, but have it your way." The sheriff finally gave in, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'll talk with Zantus about this. In the mean time…" He trailed off and cast his gaze on the girls and I, carefully examining us, as if he was trying to come to some sort of decision. "I'll admit –I was expecting something more from you after the way my men talked about how you helped them out, especially after Caletti put in a good word about you. He's really hard to impress."
Okay, I don't follow. What was he talking about, and why do I have the strange feeling we were just insulted? I wasn't the only one feeling that way though; Rainbow Dash too picked up at the not-so-subtle critique from Sheriff Hemlock.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, immediately getting defensive. The sheriff gave her a pointed look.
"Freezing up during a fight, staring at your opponent in fascination, fleeing from a fight, overall messing around… amateur mistakes at their finest." He counted out on his fingers, looking at each of the girls that could be held accounted of doing those things but in the end settling on Rainbow Dash. Of course, this didn't sit well with her.
"Oh yeah!? Well… at least I didn't get trapped in a puddle of mud like you did! What sort of professional does that?"
"And it didn't once occur to you that I may have refrained from intervening for a reason?" He countered Dash's heated arguments calmly, looking at her coolly. That little confession did warrant a curious look from the girls, and after a second or two Trixie seemed to come up to a surprising conclusion.
"You were evaluating our skills?" She asked, eyeing the guard captain warily. Sheriff Hemlock instead of answering directly turned his attention to the shadowy shape of the cathedral and started:
"The goblin raid from yesterday showed just how green my men really are. With a few exceptions they really can't handle a situation worse than a simple robbery. And then a few of them died. This leaves me in a very bad position as the one responsible for security and upholding the law. I have vacancies, and I need to fill them up as quickly as possible.
"If the situation was any different I would just send for a detachment of guards from Magnimar to help fill up the gap and train a new batch of my own men, but I can't. We're stretched thin as it is. I even had to put out fliers that we're searching for help, and that's one way to let the lowlife scum know we're knee-deep in shit. I'm sure you saw those by now." I was the only one to nod at that, knowing full well what the man was talking about, though I still had no idea where he was going with thi… Wait a moment. Does he…? Is he…?
"This is where you come in. My men told me about how a group of young women managed to help them repel a wave of goblins despite being unarmed and for all they knew just simple civilians. I wanted to see how much of that was true, so I asked for your 'help' when an occasion to do so arose. I decided to let you handle whatever the disturbance was here on yourself, providing only minimal help."
"Wait… so you purposely set us up against those skeletons?" Rainbow asked sharply, glaring at the man accusingly. Applejack didn't look to pleased about this as well, and even Rarity seemed to support RD in this wholeheartedly. Sheriff Hemlock however shook his head at that and explained.
"No, I really didn't know there would be skeletons here, especially flaming, regenerating skeletons. At most I expected a grave robber or a lost goblin or two. As it is however I didn't see the need to intervene directly until the very end. Despite your shortcomings and mistakes you managed to handle the situation admirably, and none of you suffered any serious wounds in the process, a feat quite impressive, especially for people without any sort of armor on. There is potential in you."
"So in other words you used this whole situation to evaluate our performance." Trixie pointed out again, still eying the sheriff warily. "You wanted to know how Trixie and her lack… companions would fare when confronted with typical guard work, but got a show of our prowess when faced with an unexpected assailant. This whole thing was to gauge our skills to see if we would…"
"…if we would be suitable to work as town guards." Twilight finished for Trixie, her eyes widening at the realization. "You want to hire us as town guards!"
"You're intelligent, that's a plus." Sheriff Hemlock said, nodding slightly. "Yes, you're at least partially right. I do want to make you an offer."
"Whaddya mean we're 'partially right'?" Applejack asked, suddenly more invested in the conversation. "What kinda offer ya have for us?"
"For starters, I don't want to hire all of you." He stated bluntly, his dark eyes landing on the shaking, completely bedraggled form of Fluttershy. "I most definitely don't want you in the guard force, but that goes without saying. You're just not cut to be a guard, and no amount of training would change that. And I don't want any casters too; Sandpoint has limited use for magic users, and aside from consultations we don't need spellslinging guards around. Which doesn't mean I'm not willing to cut a deal with you too."
"Yes, well, that is all quite a generous offer but could we perchance talk business somewhere else, preferably with a roof?" Rarity interjected, looking positively miserable in her thoroughly wet condition (man that sounded wrong). "I can already tell I'm going to get a cold."
Sheriff Hemlock didn't see any problem with that and quickly agreed, saying that we could talk more in the cathedral, after he takes care of business with Father Zantus. We were about to go on our way back to the temple when Fluttershy noticed something was wrong.
"Um… girls? Where's Pinkie Pie?" We all stopped at that simple little question. We haven't noticed that before, too preoccupied with what the sheriff wanted from us, but Pinkie really disappear somewhere without us noticing. While most of the time that wouldn't be that big of a deal, we were kind in a hurry, and in a completely alien environment. Who knows in what trouble she would find herself in. So with that in mind we were about to start searching for her, until something piqued our interest.
The iron-bound doors to the crypt were shut, or at least close to being completely shut. But if memory served me right, the doors were thrown open when the skeletons leapt out and stayed that way ever since. I wasn't the only one to notice that however, and soon our group gathered around the entrance, ready for anything. But just when Applejack gathered enough courage to open them up, the doors did that themselves, and we were greeted by… something only one pony could hope to come up with.
"Hey guys, check this out! Who's the greatest juggler around? I am, ha!" As could, and really should be expected, Pinkie Pie decided to amuse herself somehow, and picked the strangest way imaginable to do that. Not to mention creepy.
She was juggling, as she said she did. Only problem is, she juggled the skulls and some of the bones from the skeletons that darn near killed us not five minutes ago. And let's not forget she was inside a crypt vault, effectively desecrating their resting place. I didn't need to see his face to know Priest Naffer was completely aghast by the site.
"Pinkie, darling, what do you think you are doing?" Rarity, who was of course the most appealed by the site stepped inside and, though I can tell it was with great reservations, grabbed one of the bones from the party pony's grasp. "Stop this this instance! That's no way to treat the… *gulp*… dead."
"Aw come on Rarity, don't be such a party pooper!" Pinkie immediately protested, though a grin never left her face. "All I wanted was to have some fun and play, 'is all."
"Fun and play, inside a crypt, playing with bones." Rainbow seemed perturbed by the notion and seemed to pale a bit for some reason. "Pinks, I have no idea how you can put all that into one sentence, but that's just wrong." Pinkie cocked her head to the side at that, and then smiled even more brightly.
"Well that's simple. Let's take for example this bone." She said pulling out one of the long bones and pointing it at RD, to her ever growing chagrin. "This is my favorite kind of bone. And you know why's that? Because it's humorous."
Humorous? How can a bone be humorous… wait a moment. Is that a… pun? Is that bone a…
"Humerus? Really Pinkie, you used that?" Twilight almost facepalmed once she figured that out. And Pinkie was still smiling that overly wide smile of hers.
"Oh come on Twi, the funny bone's a classic." She replied, and soon after that pulled out one of the skulls. "So, who's up for the next riddle? In terms of hints I'll just quote another classic. Ekhm… 'To squee, or not to squee, that is the question'."
I'm fairly sure even Fluttershy at this point gave Pinkie a flat stare. There was just something wrong with this whole situation. Shaking her head, Rarity took the skull from Pinkie's hooves hands and gently placed it on one of the three sarcophagus inside the vault, soon after taking the pink mare by her forearm and leading her forcefully from the crypt.
"Come now Pinkie, this sort of behavior really does not befit a lady."
"Okay!" Surprisingly our resident party planner didn't oppose and followed Rarity without a complaint. She did however mentioned something odd. "Besides, it's not like I managed to pull of what I wanted to. I was one skull and two funny bones short of a world record."
"You were juggling two skulls and four humerus bones Pinkie, I think that's plenty enough." Twilight commented and soon after went back to her attempts at appeasing Priest Naffer, who seemed to be on the verge of moving to blows.
"But that's just it Twilight, that's only two skulls and four funny bones. To beat the record I need three skulls and six funny bones." Pinkie explained patiently, completely oblivious to the silent 'shut up Pinkie' look she was getting from Twi. "I figured there would be an extra skeleton inside one of the stone tomb-thingies, but they were all empty."
"Wait, what did you say?" Suddenly Naffer's demeanor changed from one of complete fury to unspoken dread. He looked probably even worse than when he realized the vault was filled with undead earlier today. He then pushed his way inside the crypt and checked all three sarcophagi, falling to his knees as he did so with the last one. "Holy Sarenrae… Father Tobyn's body is missing." He managed to fearfully breath out.
The girls and I exchanged looks, wondering what that was supposed to mean. Figuring we wouldn't get any answer from Priest Naffer we directed our inquiries towards the only other local in our midst.
At first Sheriff Hemlock didn't seem to even acknowledge our question. He followed the priest silently inside the vault and peered inside the sarcophagus that was supposed to contain the body of this Tobyn fellow. Only once he made sure what Naffer said was true did he finally answer our question with one simple, defeated sentence.
"This means my work just got that much harder."