//------------------------------//
// Shipper's Law 
// Story: Why Carrot Top Should Never Ever Write FanFiction Part Two: A Forced Romance 
// by Marciline 
//------------------------------//

"Wait, what?"
Derpy gravely nodded. 
"Shippers law, in which, if seventy five percent or more, and one alicorn agree with a shipping, they are legally required to marry and have a child, under law. It's how I conceived Dinky."
Another whump was heard, but this time it was not Dinky. Octavia lay on the floor, twitching. 
"...And I arranged for a little accident, this time, on the Doctor. Then, I cloned myself, but added the nicer, sweeter side."
Ditzy smiled winningly.
"..And I must marry..."
"ME!!!"
Vinyl and Lyra were standing over her, peering into her shocked face. 
"Let me help you up, honey pie!"
"Don't. Call me that. Don't. Just..don't!"
"Whatever you say, sugarcube!"
"Don't call me that either." 
Derpy continued, oblivious to the argument going on, "So, your wedding is arranged for next week Tuesday. I will send Ditzy over to your house tomorrow to help plan the wedding."
Octavia grimly marched out the door, not giving a shit that the conversation was far from over. Octavia didn't know a lot about the situation, or what was going to happen, but she knew one thing.
"I need a drink."
At her house, she was in a semi-drunk state, and tried to play the cello. The beautiful strands of music surrounded her being and she felt, for the first time today, competently at peace.
A 70% proof drink didn't hurt either.
"Well done."
Octavia yelped and dropped her new cello and swung the bow around like a sword. 
"Derpy.'
"She's not all that bad, you know. She really wants to help."
"She ruined my life, and chances for a life of bachelorhood."
A long, awkward pause ensued.
"I'm sorry."
"Me too."
(At this point, the author realized that nothing funny was going to happen, so, here is Luna, for your entertainment.)
Luna crashed in with a t-rex, and asked Octavia if she could be the bridesmaid. Then, she threw alfalfa all around, just to see if Octavia would get mad. She didn't get mad, and said it was ok. Luna then left, and gave the t-rex to Octavia for an early wedding gift, but said that part two would come at the wedding party. (Don't overthink this.)
Derpy also left, and didn't reappear for three chapters.
Octavia lay down and the t-rex tore down the rest of the house. Octavia then cried and went to sleep, unaware that she was crying, because her leg was slowly being chewed off.