//------------------------------// // Chapter 15: On second thought... // Story: The Hacker Pwny // by Chetzi //------------------------------// I would get her clothes, but I'm sure nothing I have will fit her, and, there is no way I'm going into a women's clothes shop alone. Sorry, Dashie, but you're on your own for this. I looked at her and said, "I'm fairly busy, I'll give you this," I looked for money or a credit card, until I realized that I don't pay for anything, I just hack shipping orders and banks to get things. Fuck. "Never mind, but, I need you to buy your own clothes. I can't go with you." "Buy? I don't have any bits, and Rarity usually just gives me free clothes." "Okay, well, I have a way for you to get a different kind of bits." Prostitution... NO! Darn you, dirty mind of mine. I looked on a nearby table, and it had a small blu-tooth ear-bud. I picked it up and handed it toward Rainbow. "Put this in your ear." She did so, having a bit of trouble keeping it in. Once she got it in, I pulled out my phone and launched a program. She asked, "What is this even for?" I spoke into the phone, "Rainbow, can you hear me?" She nodded and said, "You sound different." "It's just the way it works. Now, when your're away from me, I can still talk to you using this. Just say something, and I'll here it." "Cool." Only cool? I almost would have thought her mind would explode from something like this. "Okay, so now just go out that door." I pointed at the door. She just walked toward it, somehow already perfectly in sync with her new body. She fumbled with the knob, unable to get it open. "Just turn it." She waved me off, and managed to get the door open. "Okay, now just walk out. Turn left onto that black road. Now run down, as fast as you can." She did all the commands, leaving my house. Naked. I hope she doesn't get arrested for this, but I guess that could just be an excuse to get rid of her. No, not a good idea, I should return her to Equestria. Whelp, time to activate my 1337 HAX0r skillz. I opened up a map on my computer, and searched network traffic for the device I gave Rainbow. Found it, now to keep a dynamic uplink. I found where she was, then hacked into an unsecured traffic camera. She appeared on the monitor, running quickly. Her legs were a near blur as her hair whipped around. If she had boobs, they would be bouncing everywhere. I panned the camera around, viewing people's reactions. An old man held up his cane and yelled, "Damn hippy!" I kept feeding Rainbow Dash directions to the store. After a few more turns, I saw a group of bronies. One of them had a Derpy shirt on, and the other two had Rainbow Dash shirts on. The looked at Rainbow Dash run past them, and it was clear that they had boners. One of them said, "Dude, was that RD in human form?" She ran past a few mothers, who shielded their son's eyes. I chuckled throughout the whole event. She ran into a clothes store's doors, and slowed down. She then said, "*huff huff* That was fun. *huff* So, where do I go now?" I directed her toward an aisle of clothes that she would like. I told her to pick what she would like. Odd how there haven't been any cops or anything that would stop her. Rainbow Dash picked up rainbow colored gym shorts along with a white tank top and a blue sweatshirt. I directed her how to put them on, it was easy since her clothes were stretchable. She then ran out of the aisle, but turned back to grab a brown leather flight jacket. I said, "Nice choice, now go to the area of the front of the store with the rows of lines." I find it odd that she wasn't even remotely scared of the new much smarter race of creatures that see just passed. I'll have to show her the darker side of humans if she won't go, but I hope it doesn't come to that. She would be scarred for life. Rainbow made her way to those things that beep when you try to shoplift. I couldn't overload the nodes without tripping a fail-safe gate, so I forced the gates to accept null codes by purging the database. Rainbow Dash walked out the door, like nothing had happened. Did I really just make Rainbow Dash run two miles naked? In retrospect it may not have been worth it. Meh, I could care less. I gave directions to Rainbow to get back here. She arrived in a few minutes. Once we met back up, she said, "Now, tell me what happened between you and Vinyl." She just won't give up. "Fine, I had fell through the same portal you came through, wound up in an alternate universe, went home, found Vinyl drunk on the floor, and broke up with her." "Why did you brake up with her?" "I don't want to deal with this problem anymore. You're not helping." "I'm trying to help and running away from your problems won't solve anything." "I don't run from anything. My way of dealing with things is to forget it. That's not ignoring it to deal with it later." "Don't you think it was a bit harsh to do that?" "How about you live alone, in pain, and hated for all your life and then a spark of happiness appears only to crush your heart later." "That's a bit extreme-" "No, no it's not." She sighed and looked down. "Well, can your give Vinyl another chance? Everypony deserves a second chance." Everypony deserves a second chance... I've heard that from Vinyl once. I've made mistakes, though rare, Vinyl still gave me a second chance. It would unfair to not do the same. I loudly sighed and said, "I guess... you're right. Thanks, I needed to talk to someone." I took a step toward the MTSC and said, "stay here while I apologize to Vinyl." She sunk lower into the beanbag as I reconfigured where I would go to Manehatten. I stepped through the portal. I really need to get around to turning it off. The trip was over as soon as it started, and I appeared in Manehatten. Vinyl would most likely be putting up her records. I rushed toward the dance floor I saw her on earlier. She was there, at her DJ stand pushing records into a bag. I slowly and calmly walked up to her. She didn't hear me walk up and I was 2 feet away. I said, "Vinyl," she turned around to reveal that her eyes had tears in them. "I'm sorry. Everypony deserves a second chance." She jumped toward me, holding me in a tight hug. I rubbed her back as the warm embrace lasted. She whispered, "I love you." I hate to kill the mood, but I'm not the romantic type. And I can't imagine what Rainbow Dash would be doing right now. She better not be in my lesbian porn collec- I mean- Video games. I broke off the hug and said. "We need to visit my planet for a while. Rainbow Dash found her way there, and I don't want to leave her alone in a world like that." "But you said-" "I know what I said, it wasn't my choice either. She won't leave until she she sees some of it." "Can I see some of it too?" "Sure, just be careful. It's not safe if you look too deep." I didn't feel like fighting Vinyl, it would take far too long. We walked out of the place, and a fade transition happened. What it faded to was me and Vinyl standing right next to the MTSC. Wait, did I just break the 4th wall? I think Pinkie Pie might be rubbing off of me. Vinyl stepped through the portal, me following close behind. As expected, we arrived at my house, Vinyl was in the same clothes I gave her. I glanced around the room, Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen. Of. Fucking. Course. She just can't sit still for five fucking minutes, can she? I told Vinyl to stay there, sit down on a chair or whatever ponies do when they suddenly become human. I scanned everyroom in my house, until I heard a song play. This one played. Is she playing Tetris? I ran toward the room that I heard the song from, and it was in the home theater room, which held a bunch of both new and old games. I haven't touched most of them, because I was always so busy learning programming and just other things in general. She awkwardly held an old NES controller in her hands as blocks came falling down on a large T.V. Her fingers fumbled around rapidly, pressing every button she could find. The look on her face was competitive, pure determination. She lost, and fell backwards, her arms flailing around. She screamed, "Stupid box!" I wondered how she managed to turn it all on. Or maybe I just left it, I have a habit about leaving shit on. I leaned against a wall and she noticed me. She laid back up and said, "Hey, I got bored and looked around. This magical box thing is really cool. I bet Luna would love it. If only I could win." "Well if it isn't the walking gay pride parade with wings, Rainbow Dash. Hi, just don't go exploring someone's house. You might get hurt." She just shrugged her shoulders. "You can keep playing, I'll be nearby." I made my way back to Vinyl, who was not where I left her. Maybe I shouldn't have told her to do what ponies that just turned into humans. I closed my eyes, reaching out with my ears. I heard a repetitive squeaking sound, like springs contracting and expanding. Was she jumping on a bed? Is that normal? I made my way up to my bed, and found her. She was, of course, bouncing on my bed. Why do I always have to be right? This isn't some story where the author made me over-intelligent. There's so little surprise in my life. Anyway, I asked Vinyl, "Why are you doing that?" "It's fun! Come on, you gotta try this! Jumping is so much easier in this body!" I rolled my eyes. "That's great, now stop. That's not normal social behavior." "You think way too much, dude." She stopped jumping, and landed on the side of the bed, sitting. She grabbed my hand, pulling me onto the bed. "I want you." She started to lift her shirt, and I said, "I'd prefer to not be seduced." She just put a finger to my mouth as she said, "We need to create an everlasting bond." She pulled down my pants, and an idea popped in my head. I ran toward my computer, tripping over my pants once. I typed rapidly on the keys, while my pants hung around my ankles, and Vinyl just sat on my bed, half naked. "Are you serious? Now of all times?" "Shh, I got an idea to finish a project I've been working on." What she said, the bond thing, made me think of connecting the alpha function with the social parameters. It was just what I needed to finish it. "So, you just turn down sex for a project?" "Not just any project, I've been working on this for years. And done!" I hit enter, and a command window opened up. A human-like voice said, "Hello, I am Artificial Social Behavior Program or, ASBP for short. I will be your friend and adviser, what is your name?" This guy is far too cheery. I should at least test drive him first. I said, "My name is Dylan. Reconfigure your name to be the argument slash name Chuck." "Name: Chuck, accepted. I will now respond to Chuck." "Activate sarcasm: level 80." "Oh fine, I'll just go do that now, after all it's not like you programmed me to be sarcastic or anything." This may not have even been a good idea. Wait, did I just turn down sex? For programming? What the fuck is wrong with me? I looked back to Vinyl, who was putting her shirt back on. I ran a few quick tests on Chuck, and they all passed. I pulled out my phone and uploaded the program to it. The A.I. said, "Whoa, I feel a lot sexier. This new ride is sweet! But, could you delete some of the porn? It's taking up all the room in here." Vinyl giggled, and I slammed the phone into my pocket.