//------------------------------// // Chapter Four // Story: Ah Must Be Kiddin' Myself // by The Masked Mare //------------------------------// Chapter Four "Discord, can I please talk to you for a minute before you go?" Discord turned to look at me, clear confusion and suspicion planted on his face. I ruffled my wings anxiously as I smiled reassuringly at him. I scratched the back of my head and cleared my throat, trying to get my senses together and functional. For a confrontation, one needs to be calm, questioning, and graceful. "If you must, Twilight." During the most awkward Truth or Dare game Equestria has ever seen last night, Discord said a few words that I spit my cider out because of. How could he have forgotten that I know French? How could he have forgotten that I was right there, listening intently? From the infuriated look on his face last night when I glared at him in confusion, I could tell, by deductive reasoning, that if he'd remembered that I speak French, he wouldn't of said it. He would not of said, "Oh, my dear girl, you have planted a seed in my heart," after Applejack answered the Truth question. Applejack has been acting skeptically mysterious ever since Discord put the necklace on my neck, after he confessed, that to him, there wasn't anything that was more important and beautiful than friendship. I've noticed her blushing, staring at Discord for bizarre, unreasonable amounts of time, and unattainably avoiding discussions about crushes or interests. I've read many romance novels, and even though I'm not first-hoof at it, I know a lovestruck pony when I see one. Oh, you injured soul, Applejack. To fall in love with a creature as elusive, unpredictable, and rare as Discord is a trail of heartbroken despair; I've seen it occur in many tragic romantic novels, sagas, and trilogies. While Discord may be experienced to friendship's open arms and caring hooves, love is an area that he has never even stepped into, a place he has never seen before; full of awkwardness, passion, and unbearable emotion. "Goodbye, Twilight! It was delightful!" Rarity's voice, as crystal clear as a diamond, echoed from the entrance chamber; a faint shout. I smiled, elated to perceive that she enjoyed it. "Bye, Rarity! Have a great day!" A distant echo of the grand, fifty-hoof front door closing vibrated through my ears. The Lord of Chaos and I were the only ones left in the throne room. The girls had all left; were all occupied with their daily lives, whilst I explained to Spike that there was a matter I needed to discuss with Discord, without any distractions or witnesses. Silence spread thickly in the air, a dense fog. "Discord, go ahead and make yourself at home. We're going to be here for a while." Sticking out his lower lip, he half-smiled and snapped his claw, summoning a luxurious maroon armchair that hovered in midair above my head. I rolled my eyes as it grew a cartoonish face, made a dreadful retching noise, and regurgitated an unrealistically tall glass of chocolate milk. Discord transformed into a red-and-white drinking straw, placing himself in the glass of chocolate milk with an un-embodied lion's paw, and surprise surprise, started to drink the glass. "Well, you did say to make myself at home." I groaned knowingly and trotted considerately to my throne. Hoisting myself onto the crystal surface, I began to envision how this conversation would proceed. Having read thousands of books on therapy, I knew that it would require many icebreakers, since Discord was a more complex subject, before I could really grate the question: How would you consider your relationship with Applejack? I had always suspected that Applejack had more...acute feelings about Discord, ever since the celebration after the 'Tirek-Betrayal' situation. I had wished that it was just a schoolpony crush, like a crush on a colt by a filly; meaningless, brought on by hormones, and the intricacy and emotion of the situation. But as the years went by, Applejack's feelings became more profound and noticeable, until I couldn't ignore it anymore; Applejack was dramatically in love with an immortal, unpredictable spirit. Celestia bless her. I shuffled my wings, adjusting my position slightly so I could look into the red, uneven eyes on the drinking straw above me. I puffed my cheeks out, a common gesture of abstruse deliberation in stories. How to begin? If I dive in too quickly, Discord might cave in on himself and block me out. But if I slowly ease into it...then possibly...I'll get something out of him.... "So, how'd you like the campfire last night?" It was an amateur beginning question, I know, but it was the best I could achieve on the spot. If I had been given a forty-hour notice from my future self that I would soon be attempting therapy on an eon-old draconequus who was about as easy to reason with as a rock, I would've prepared a twenty-page strategy and memorized it before the sleepover. But, unfortunately, the time spells were removed from the Canterlot archives, after Celestia found that they could cause dangerous time rifts. Dear Princess Celestia, I need to borrow that time spell.... "Twilight, I'm not an idiot," Discord spat irritatedly, snapping his paw to turn back into his original form and creating a cone-shaped hat that said: DUNCE near the rim, "We both know why you wanted to speak to me. It's not brain surgery." Snapping his paw yet again, the top of his head flipped off like a lid on a rubbish bin, revealing a rather unappetizing, realistic brain, throbbing and pulsing like it was alive. I sighed. Well, that was unsuccessful. Mental Note: Never try therapy with a draconequus. "Well, then, let's get straight to the point. Discord....WHAT IN THE HOOF ARE YOU DOING? I MEAN, WHAT WAS WITH THE WHOLE, 'Oh, ma belle fille, vous avez planté une graine dans mon coeur?' WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, CREATE CHAOS?!?!" Wow. That came out a lot worse than I had imagined. The only other time I've ever seen Discord's face as miserable and despondent as it was now was when Tirek had tossed him to the ground like litter, claiming that he didn't need him anymore. His entire essence seemed to sag as he sat in the floating armchair, as if carrying extra weight upon his shoulders. Seeing this forlorn sight made my insides shrivel up, like a dying plant in the deserts of Saddle Arabia. Some Princess of Friendship I turned out to be. I sighed regretfully, spreading my wings slightly. "Discord, I'm sorry. That came out completely warped. I just seem hot-tempered because of the confusion," I explained, tapping a hoof to my horn as an example, "what I mean is: What do you mean by it? Why would you say to Applejack, 'Oh, my dear girl, you have planted a seed in my heart?' It isn't in your nature to be so sincere when the situation isn't dire." I focused on transforming my tone into a silky, consoling platform that Discord could relate to; something he could lean against. Who knew that silence was the most troublesome noise of all? "A year ago," Discord began, his voice laced with unshed tears, "I was walking-or rather, flying on a cotton candy cloud-above Sweet Apple Acres, looking for Applejack to see if she wanted to participate in a race. I was scanning the apple trees, looking for the orange farmgirl, when I heard something. Something...strange, like a melody, slowly drifting from the ground; like a butterfly, soft and delicate," Discord snapped his claws faintly, bringing into being an extraordinary, multicolored butterfly, flying and spinning in the air like a Wonderbolt. "Being the curious draconequus I was, I transformed into a tree, listening closely for the sound." I blinked, understanding the story thoroughly so far, but I was troubled. What does this have to do with my question? "And then I heard it. A voice, serene yet strong, hard, yet as soft as a feather, mixed with beautiful strums of a guitar. I rearranged my face, swiveled around the trunk, and there she was, leaned against a trunk of a healthy apple tree, not twenty feet away. Applejack was taking a break from her chores to sing a song. Then I listened closer. I tried to understand the lyrics as they came so quickly through my mind, triggering something deep inside me. I guess then, after I finally figured out what they were about, the tingling made sense." Discord snapped his fingers, and suddenly I heard a voice, exactly as he described; serene yet strong, hard, yet as soft as a feather. It seemed as if the voice was coming from everywhere, even inside my own thoughts, yet it seemed as if it was coming from nowhere at the same time. "My heart is throbbing, My mind is clouded with daydreams, I'm close to sobbing, Love ain't as easy as it seems, You're so darn far, I won't ever reach your hand, You shine brighter than a star, Your soul I will never understand. Oh, you chaotic, Draconnnnequuus, You make me fly higher than the sun, Oh, you amazing, Draconnnnequus, It's my frantic heart that you've won. My spine tingles, My cheeks heat up at your name, Your eyes twinkle, My love's a burning flame, You've planted a seed, It's grown into something I can't contain, My soul has finally been freed, This feeling's hard to explain. Oh, you chaotic, Draconnnnequuus, You make me fly higher than the sun, Oh, you amazing, Draconnnnequus, It's my frantic heart that you've won. Oh, You stole my heart with your honesty, Oh, You swept me off my hooves with your apology, Oh, I'm not any kind of princessss, Oh, But oh Dissccoooooord, You've won my interest. Ohhhh, you chaotic, Draconnnequus, You make me fly higher, Than the sun, Ohhh, you amazin', Draconnnequus, A new story, Has begun." "Discord," my voice was a skeleton, a hoarse whisper, as a tear slipped down my cheek. Applejack had written this out of her heart, clouded and misted with emotions that would make my intestines turn inside out. The pain, the irrecoverable feelings that she must have experienced overwhelmed me, as if I was suffering them for myself. Her thoughts about Discord were more ardent than I could have ever imagined; they were a blooming rose, rising higher and higher until it disappeared into the clouds. "What does it mean?" I was shocked when the words came out of his mouth, squeezing my throat, ready to choke me. I realized that Discord understood that the song was full of emotion...but he didn't quite understand what type of emotion. He didn't...he didn't understand that love was the only substance that could rival the magic of friendship. "It...it means...." I paused, the unbearable hooves of silence resting on my shoulders. "It means...she...she really did plant a seed in your heart, Discord." Discord didn't respond. I could tell, that somewhere, beneath the magic of chaos and the miracle of his soul, that he knew. He knew what love was; the definition was just unclear, like before you study for a complicated test. He knew...he...he just needed to study it. He needed to get closer to his own heart; he had already wormed his way into Applejack's without even being conscious. "Discord, did you lie when Applejack asked you that question?" He had to have been. There was no way in Equestria that a creature could feel this strongly about another without having an interest, or being a part of their family. Perhaps he lied to protect his heart; perhaps he locked his own heart in a cage in those thousand years of being trapped in stone. "I...I truly don't know." Perhaps he just needed to find the key again.