Griffon the Heave-ho
by CrowMagnon
"So I hopped on the train here to Pansyville--"
"Ponyville," Twilight corrected, sitting back in her seat with her forelegs folded across her chest.
Gilda just shrugged it off. "Whatever. Anyway, I see Old McDustbowl over there with her lizard, and--"
The griffon was cut off again when Rarity shrieked at a volume that forced Spike to bring his little hands up over his ears. "Old?! I'm not old! I just... I've been working very hard this past week, finding good 'seed' rocks for my crop, and haven't been getting as much sleep as I'd like..." Worry filled the white unicorn's face, and she started fretting with her braid before she shook her head and re-focused her anger on Gilda.
"A-anyway, Spikey is not 'my lizard'; he is a baby dragon, and he is my son! Not some sort of pet," Rarity continued, her voice full of righteous indignation. From atop her back, Spike smiled and waved to Gilda and the other mares. Turning to Twilight and Rainbow Dash, she explained, "She just came right up, asked if Spike knew any tricks, and then put a biscuit on his nose!"
"An' I coulda got it," the baby dragon proudly announced.
Rarity's mood wasn't improved any when she heard an unrepentant snort of laughter come from the griffon, who started whistling innocently as soon as she turned her glare back on Gilda.
"Ah, come on, how was I supposed to know?" Gilda eventually asked while Rarity continued trying to shoot death beams out of her eyes. "Hey, if I'd known you were married to a dragon, I'd have congratulated you, instead. That takes guts."
Rarity let out a frustrated grunt. "I'm not married to a dragon! I--"
"Oooh, deadbeat dad? That's rough," Gilda interrupted. She then looked and pointed between Rarity and Fluttershy. "So, are you two in some sort of 'getting freaky with monsters' support group or something?"
"Will. Isn't. A monster. He's a MINOTAUR!" Fluttershy seethed with an intensity that her friends weren't used to seeing in the normally-upbeat pegasus. "Rainbow Dash, you wouldn't believe what your 'friend' here said about me and Will! She said... that... uh..." She trailed off, stumbling over her tongue as she remembered that Spike was in the room. "That ponies and minotaurs aren't... umm... naturally compatible."
Gilda looked around. "Oh, come on. Like I'm the only one here who's ever thought that? Dash, back me up on this one."
Twilight and the others reflexively glanced toward Rainbow Dash, who slouched down in her seat in a futile attempt at camouflage. Seeing her brash prankster of a friend rendered so mortified, the Ranger had to force herself to keep her earlier promise to give Gilda the benefit of the doubt in mind. She let out a sigh and asked the last remaining pony, "Alright, Applejack... why are you so mad?"
Applejack narrowed her eyes.
-----
Earlier...
Applejack smiled widely, her heart ready to explode with pride and joy as the Manehattan mare watched her little sister share fresh apple fritters, muffins, and other Apple family goodies with the Snowheart refugees. Not that they were starving or anything. The princesses had been generous with providing the time-displaced griffons with food and temporary shelter, but the treats that the two sisters had brought were filled with love, which the Snowheart clan clearly appreciated.
Even better was how the experience had given the sisters a chance to get to know each other better through working together. Applejack felt her Apple family pride blossom anew after spending some time with her earnest and guileless little sister, and Apple Bloom was getting a better idea of what Applejack was really like through seeing her big sister's charity work in action. It might not make up for years of absence, Applejack knew, but it was a fresh start.
"Sis! Sis! We're almost out o' turnovers an' fritters," the filly exclaimed, bounding toward her with a grin so wide and beaming, it was like looking at the sun. Applejack knew that her joy wasn't in that they were running out, but that the fruits of her family's labor were in such demand.
Applejack smiled back as a small pride of griffon cubs who hadn't gotten treats yet let out groans of disappointment at the news. "Don't worry, my little griffons. We've got a fresh batch cooling off in the baking tent, so just wait a minute and we'll be right back." With that, she started leading Apple Bloom back to the tent on the outskirts of the camp that they had borrowed for their baking.
Along the way, Applejack felt her little sister clinging to her side as the two walked, and she couldn't imagine the day being any more beautiful. As a result, the rumbling of thunder took her by surprise.
Worry set in as the crackling rumble of lightning didn't fade. In actuality, it seemed to draw closer. Applejack stopped, putting a foreleg out to stop Apple Bloom and hold onto her before the filly could either run off ahead or take off in the opposite direction. Lacking the wings of pegasi or the griffons around them, the two earth ponies found their view blocked by the tents until, with a deafening boom of lightning and thunder, they saw the shape of an darkly armored griffon shooting up the mountain, bolts of lightning arcing harmlessly away from their body.
"What in the hoof was that?!" Apple Bloom asked, clutching even more tightly to her sister's side while Applejack let out a sigh of relief.
"Nothing to worry about, sugarcube," the city mare promised, her smile returning as she did so. She didn't use that particular term of endearment very often since leaving the farm, but it felt very, very right. "It's how the Griffon Empire makes an entrance. They show respect to their host country by showing off what they can do in an intimidating but harmless display. Everything is just--"
Before she could finish, the acrid scent of smoke and burning apples touched her nostrils, and a griffon near the outskirts of the camp shouted, "FIRE!"
-----
"Nearly an entire batch, ruined! Whatever didn't burn got frozen and soggy when the Snowheart Knights put it out with their ice magic."
Gilda gulped. "Oh come on, how did you even know that was me? That could've been anygriffon!"
Applejack's head snapped to face Gilda so fast that everypony else winced, afraid that the businessmare might give herself whiplash. Instead, Applejack simply stared in wide-eyed shock. "That was you?! I can't believe it!"
Rainbow Dash groaned, slumped low in her seat. "You mean there's more? Sweet Celestia, what were you angry for?"
-----
Applejack hugged Apple Bloom as the two sisters waited at the station at the base of the Canterhorn for the train which would take them back to Ponyville. Apple Bloom was sobbing, devastated by the loss of all the treats they had been planning to give out, along with the ingredients to make more. The only thing that they had been able to salvage in any kind of edible state was a single pie that Apple Bloom had set apart from the others with the intent of sharing it with her big sister after a day's work. That sat on the bench beside them while Apple Bloom sniffled against Applejack's chest.
"There, there, sugarcube," Applejack whispered soothingly. "We did the best that we could, but sometimes accidents happen. If Granny and McIntosh will allow it, we can come back after you're done with school tomorrow and make sure that there's enough for everygriffon."
Apple Bloom hiccuped softly and looked up at her big sister. "Ya mean it?"
Applejack smiled warmly. "Of course, dear. Until then, why don't we enjoy that pie that you made, and we'll just--" She reached over to her side, but instead of finding the pie tin, her hoof blindly found only empty space. Realizing that something was amiss, she looked up to see a ragged-looking griffoness holding their pie in her talons.
Without even looking at them, the griffoness asked, "Hey, you're those ponies hoofing out free goodies, right? Thanks, I'm starved." She didn't wait for an answer, though, before she started scarfing down the pie while the Apple sisters could only look on in horror. That horror and disgust only grew when the griffon spat out a large bite of pie, coughing and spitting. "Gah! Ptooh! Ptooh! Blech, apple? I hate apples!"
With that, she dropped the tin, along with any remaining pie within, so that it splattered across the train station floor.
-----
Rainbow Dash groaned. "Oh... G... you didn't..."
"Ah come on, it was just a pie," Gilda protested.
"My little sister put her heart and soul into that pie! She broke down in tears, and you didn't even have the good graces to apologize," Applejack replied, poking a hoof against Gilda's chest. "You scampered off into the train while I comforted her, apparently so you could go around and harass my other friends!"
Gilda looked down at the orange hoof and snarled, "Put that away, or you'll be pulling back a stump, uptown-girl."
"Just try me, you hooligan," Applejack sneered back.
"Please, don't fight," Pinkamena said quietly. Gummy was now riding inside her turtleneck, his head sticking out to blankly stare at the goings-on. "Not inside, at least. I live and work here."
Twilight sighed and felt a headache coming on as she used her magic to form another barrier, this time to gently push Gilda and Applejack apart. "No one is trying anypony right now," she said firmly as she tried to assert control over an increasingly unstable situation for Rainbow Dash's benefit. "Let's just calm down, and handle this reasonably. I think we can all agree that some apologies are in order."
Gilda nodded along with everypony else, followed by almost half a minute of awkward silence as the mares all stared at her expectantly. Eventually, Gilda asked, "Well? Which of you is gonna go first?"