//------------------------------// // 19) Don't Be Cruel // Story: The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King // by Dan_s Comments //------------------------------// The Conversion Bureau - The Return of the King Don't Be Cruel by Dan's Comments Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc. Godzilla is the property of Toho Company Ltd.         Appleling watched the Changelings helping the Newfoals set up barricades and traps for the invaders. There's gotta be a better way, she thought, But Celestia jist won't listen ta nopony else. The workers sang, giving a rhythm to their work, but it chilled Appleling how deep the hatred the Newfoals weren't allowed to express ran. Oh, I'm an angry human, now that's just what I am, And for this pony nation, I do not give a damn. I'm glad I fought agan'er, I only wish we'd won. I ain't asked any pardon for anything I've done. I hates the pony nation and everything they do. I hates her little sister and Queen Celestia too. I hates Hearthwarming's Evening, it's dripping with our blood. The lyin', thievin' ponies, I fit'em all I could I rode with human armies, for three years, thereabout. Got wounded in four places, and I starved at Point Lookout. I caught the Rheumatism a'campin' in the snow. But I killed a chance of ponies and I'd like to kill some more. Three hundred thousand ponies are stiff in Terra's dust. We got three hundred thousand before they conquered us They died of Terra's fevers and human steel and shot I wish there were three million instead of what we got. I can't pick up my rifle and fight 'em now no more But I ain't gonna love 'em now that is certain sure And I don't want no pardon for what I was and am I'm not no 'little pony' and I do not give a damn Oh, I'm an angry human, now that's just what I am, And for this pony nation, I do not give a damn. I'm glad I fought agan'er, I only wish we'd won. I ain't asked any pardon for anything I've done. I ain't asked any pardon for anything I've done.         "Three hundred thousand?" Twilight asked in horror as she approached, "Even if that's a gross exaggeration, it would have caused riots if Celestia had let that out."         "Now y'all know why she didn't," Appleling said, feeling an eerie connection with all the workers and soldiers, as if in an odd way, they were all her.         Better keep some of my opinions ta myself. There's lotsa stuff I cain't stand that other folks slip into like a comfy pair a work duds, speakin' of duds, Appleling thought as Rarity sailed in and came to a landing.         "I must say, Fluttershy is an excellent teacher," Rarity said and folded her wings, "If either or both of you would care to turn those into something other than a fashion accessory."         Twilight smirked. "I'm still getting used to feeling Rainbow and Fleetfoot in my head. I think flying would push me over the edge." Twilight reeled slightly. "Like her and Tank having a flying competition. Rainbow may be used to those maneuvers, but I have to keep telling myself it's not me doing loop-de-loops. Excuse me!" Twilight covered her mouth and rushed off.         "Oh dear, so much to get used to," Rarity said and put her tail in Appleling's way as she moved to follow Twilight. "There are some moments a mare wants to keep to herself. Oh, I thought of a new flag for the nation. It's a map on a field of teal. I must say I wanted stripes, but this has some precedents."         Appleling peered at the cloth banner. "I never have figured out how they get seven outta that. I always counted five, now there's eight. Making it 'more fabulous'?" Appleling asked.         "I did use the diagram Discord gave me. You suppose he wanted me to do something embarrassing?" Rarity dragon asked.         Appleling just stared at her.         "Yes, well, maybe I'll ask someone else," Rarity said, skipped a few paces and flew into the air.         Appleling looked at her own wings. "Yeah, need some training on using these." ------------------------------         The team were spread thin. Half the satellite's crew were redistributing Discord's 'Care Package', even the six crates of whoopie cushions were being repurposed to patch the micrometeorite holes. The rest had long since given up on the 'that's a space station' jokes and all their variations. The thing was too damned big, and until a few moments ago, had been on a collision course.         "Confirmed, it is now approaching at 1 meter per second. Wait, decelerating again. Point 3 meters per second," the radar operator reported. "Distance two four zero meters and closing."         "I've got what looks like a standard docking ring on the approaching surface," crackled over the internal communication from one of the repair and restocking teams near one of the satellite's few windows.         "Distance two zero zero meters, closing," the radar operator reported. The rest of the eight humans of the command crew looked at each other. All had lost family on Earth, and had feared the ponies would either swat them out of the sky, or let them run low on food, air or spare parts and watch them die on reentry or be waiting with potion.         "Bozye moy!" came the cry over the intercom.         "Piotr, S Vami vsye normaljno?" the commander called, to find out if the crewman was all right.         The string of Russian baffled even the radar operator who was a native speaker. "Something like extra continents, beats me skipper. Distance one five zero meters and closing."         "Piotr," the commander said, "Try it again in English."         "Sir, we are going to need new maps. There's more of Equestria down there, I think. Tak nye bivayet!" came the reply.         "Collins get down there," the commander said, "Piotr, Collins is on her way."         "Object now six zero meters and slowing, point one meters per second. Looks like we aren't going to be smashed to flinders," the radar operator replied., "We wait."         "Skipper," came Collin's voice over the intercom, "Looks like more of Equestria showed up, Lemuria and Mu are real now. I have no idea how the planet and the planet's orbit haven't been affected."         "Not our problem unfortunately. Maybe Discord actually read all those text books on geology Nabi lent him and they sunk in," the commander said, "I'm more worried about what or who is aboard that mini moon trying to dock. Okay, Collins, get back up here. We have to figure out what to do next." ------------------------------         Without word from the crown, the fleets surged forth. Most ponies noted their stronger magic, but took it as exhilaration on crushing the enemy. Eyes scanned the skies, and from the airships above, they watched the water. The spotters in the air saw the fins, and sent the warning.         "Fins, lots, from the north west and south," the signal officer watched the flags from the airships.         "Did they say what color?" the captain of one of the swift scouts asked.         "Black and white," the pegasus said, the dread the pair of veterans shared swept through their boat. "Orcas."         None of them understood how the monsters of Earth's seas had gotten to Equestria, but terror swept the fleet from the old swabs to the Grand Admiral. Orcas hunted ponies. They could overturn smaller ships. They took a malicious pleasure in 'playing' with their food. And the worst, they could sense the difference between Newfoals, and regular ponies. The captain remembered an attack she'd witnessed, a scout like this one overturned, and the orcas had dragged all the ponies under, but then flipped the terrified Newfoals onto the overturned boat, like a spider-toss game. But none of the native Equestrians had surfaced.         "Those poor bastards," another officer pointed to a column of pegasi and other fliers, accompanied by an unbelievable number of birds of prey. Maybe the Newfoals couldn't attack, but they could screen the birds, and they could carry incendiaries to damage the airships.         For the first time, making the humans more attuned to their environment seemed a really bad idea. ------------------------------         The Grand Admiral of the Los Pegasus fleet saw the columns. "We're on Earth, somehow. If the VanHoover force is with us or not is immaterial for the current crisis. It means those approaching Newfoals have every advantages we had, and the potion won't make them switch sides." He lowered the binoculars. "Battle turn, the entire fleet, get us back to harbor."         "We can take them," one of his aides cried.         "They outnumber us thirty to one, and that's just the ponies. The sea will consume any who fall into it. Have the cutters and shallow freeboard vessels go ahead, they are the most vulnerable." The admiral watched his orders take the fleet out of harms way. The columns in the air, and the massive pods of whales in the sea seemed willing to simply assert their authority. A hot-headed pegasus or two raced out from the airships to try to dominate the Newfoals. The birds of prey would swarm the fool, and neither they nor the Newfoals would allow them to regain the refuge of the airships. Whether they were consumed in the air, or they fell into the hungry maws in the sea mattered little. The Grand Admiral needed orders before he'd commit his force to the meat grinder of that force.         He had received no reports of the giant monsters, but appreciated their strategy. ------------------------------         Someone had posted a note on each of the two small portholes on the space station's access hatch. One was filled with the most precise small hand writing and purported to describe the conditions on the other side of the hatch. The other was an admission she was an alicorn, and a plea, that even if they didn't want to open the hatch, could someone just talk to her.         The entire staff had assembled in the command center the last humans in the entire star system. "And we have a royal pony right outside the docking hatch. One powerful enough to burn through that hatch in about two seconds," the commander said.         "Or reverse the push her moon has been giving us," the radar operator said, "It's only a tenth gee, but it is pushing us to a more stable orbit. It's well within the safety margins for all systems and it's being applied to one of the systems best able to handle the load."         "We need to check all systems," the commander said and turned to the draconequus munching popcorn in the command chair, "Are you going to help us with this Discord?"         The draconequus paused and put the bag aside. He moistened a finger and held it aloft, then told them, "I know you'll do the right thing."         "Can we fire him out a torpedo tube at the sun?" Collins asked.         "What has sun done you wrong?" Piotr replied and walked over to help himself to some of Discord's popcorn. "Already told us he lies, he tells half the truth, and we are entertainment. So whatever says he, it raises complications, not lowers them."         "I'll call you Ivan-Luka," Discord said and grinned, then he considered, "Look, she's a member of a herd species who has been locked up alone by her beloved sister for 14 months before the war started. The threat of just being alone forever sent her sister off the deep end. She may be just a clingy cuddlebug for a few days, she may do a complete rewrite of King's Misery, I don't know, but I do want to watch."         "And you just left her there, or did you visit?" Collins asked, he looked around, "Look I taught kindergarten for three years. And I've had plenty of refresher time dealing with all of you, so I'll go talk to her, if that's what we decide."         Discord sat back and continued munching his popcorn. "I knew all this would be worth it!"         "Not to deviate from the question at hand," Nabi said, "But why are you carrying a mouse?"         Discord froze, picked up the very angry mouse and stared at it. "Oops, your right, I have to give this back to Sparkley Poo!" he vanished.         "Piotr, start building a torpedo tube," the commander said, "Collins, get whatever you think you'll need. Everybody's personal effects are open, even mine."         "Then I'll need your Slinkie," Collins said as she stood.