Chapter Two
Everything was so silent fer a moment, you could hear an apple fall from a tree a million miles away. There we all were, starin' at Discord, waitin' for somethin' ta happen, waitin' fer anythin' ta happen. I really can't believe I asked that question. Yeehaw, great job Applejack! If he doesn't answer this question the way ya want him to, then yer dreams will be crushed. Slow clap, Applejack. Slow, slow clap.
I stared at Discord, finally getting the first chance in a long, long time, ta stare at him without other ponies givin' me weird looks. I shivered, my heart racin' at the thought that he was in the same room, the same space, the same game, as I was.
Ta everypony's surprise (and my defeat) Discord's face was downright more impossible ta read than the thick volume Twilight lended me on organized orchards a while ago. Discord was just raisin' his uneven brow, lookin' at all of us as if we were the most unamusin' things he'd ever looked at. But his eyes kept flickering back to me, fer some reason. And fer some, odd reason...there was a littl'...pink in his cheeks....or was I just imaginin' it....
"Are you ponies serious? No, of course I do not take place in something as ponyish as crushing. I am the Master of Chaos. I have to have some dignity." Discord spat playfully. He snapped his finger, creatin' a tiny walnut in the middle of his palm. Ruthlessly, he crushed it, and ate the shells like the Mister Master o' Chaos he was.
I felt somethin' deep in my chest, like a pinch er a stab; probably the apple tree, startin' ta die. Well, Applejack, this has been fun, chasin' after the Lord of Chaos. Now put yer head on yer shoulders and find somepony else ta chase around fer the time bein', because it ain't. Gonna. Happen.
"Well, that was a bust, Cordy," Rainbow Dash snorted from 'cross the room, "I thought you really did have a crush."
Rarity turned her head ta Rainbow Dash and put her hoof on her chin, like she was thinkin' real hard. "Rainbow Dash, darling, you do realize that we are some of the only mares in Equestria that know Discord personally? So, if he did have a crush, it would have to be one of us, if not one of the Princesses." My ears, without my permission, perked up at this idea. I pray ta Celestia that nopony noticed.
Too bad I didn't notice the eyes of the draconequus locked on me, not movin' at all.
Holy Celestia, I hope he didn't see that. I really hope he didn't see that! I don't even know what would happen if the Lord of Chaos dated somepony. Maybe the world would explode! I really don't know!
"Perhaps, dear Rarity...perhaps," Discord mumbled, never lookin' away from my throne. Did I have somethin' on my face? Oh, please tell me I don't have somethin' on my face, especially when Discord's 'round. Please tell me I don't have...oh. O' course. O' course I'm blushin'. Celestia help me.
"Well, this has been fun," Twilight said suddenly, "but oh, would you look at the time? It's late enough for a campfire!" Smilin' a mighty fake smile, she gestured up ta the big window above her head. The sun was settin' majestically across the land, stretchin' from hill ta hill, from tree ta tree, with its beautiful colors. Sure as hay, it was time fer a campfire. Thank you, Celestia, fer lowerin' the sun early tonight. I didn't think I could take one more moment of bein' in this small room, close to that annoying, smart, handsome draconequus....
"Okay, then. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, you two are in charge of collecting firewood from the edges of the Everfree forest," Twilight pointed, not rudely, at the two mares. They laughed, plum-grateful that they were a team, and they high-hooved. "Fluttershy and Rarity, you two are in charge of making the campsite comfortable, so we don't get splinters and burs in our coats." The two mares smiled warmly at one another, also plum-grateful 'bout their team. Gee, Twilight really is the most organized pony in all of Equestria.
That only left a few choices fer my partner.
"Spike and I will take care of lighting the fire and protecting the area, and Applejack and Discord...." she trailed off. Gosh darnet, look what you've gone and did, Twilight! Now I'm stuck with Mr. Master of Chaos, the most handsome, amazin' draconequus in the entire world.... Discord looked at me, somethin' set, hidden, yet sincere, in those crimson orbs o' his that made my darn insides turn around and melt inta goo. I don't know how long we sat there, his eyes holdin' me in some kind of mental prison, but I sure as hay know that it was long enough fer Twilight ta clear her throat.
"Okay, everypony! Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, stay out of the center of the forest, and off you go!" Rainbow Dash saluted, bein' the jokester she was, and grabbed Pinkie Pie by the hoof, jumped outta her throne, and the two trotted happily down the hall ta the front door.
"Fluttershy and Rarity, no cushions or objects that weren't created from nature. Off you go!" The two mares nodded once, stood gracefully, and followed Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie's hoofsteps, until they were all but a mere memory; ponies who just ain't there no more.
"As for you two, Discord and Applejack..." she paused fer a moment, as if she didn't know what ta say, which was highly darn unusual for Twilight Sparkle. I downright refused to look 'im in the eye again; I'd be trapped in a weird world o' mushy insides, awkward emotions, and swirlin' pupils.
"Erm...just...just be careful with the knives." I glanced at Twilight, my eyebrow raised. What in the name of Celestia's Tiara was happenin'? I already knew that. I mean, what kinda cowpony would I be if I didn't know not ta play with knives in the kitchen? I mean, Ah don't know about Mr. I-Juggle-Knives-Daily over there, but I sure didn't need caution 'bout bein' careful with knives.
"Er...okay then, I guess."
"Alrighty then, that's settled. You two, go into the kitchen and start preparing the food to be taken outside. Make sure to remember the the chocolate for the s'mores; you know how nightmarish that was last time. Pinkie Pie went completely berserk," Twilight ruffled her wings, a grimace on 'er face from the memory. I sympathized; Pinkie Pie went absolutely chocolate-insane at our last big slumber party, when Twilight and I had forgotten ta buy chocolate...I still have the scars from hidin' in that thorn bush feer three hours.
"It was actually quite amusing to watch," Discord said. He snapped his lion paw, creatin' a floatin' movin' picture of Pinkie Pie throwing hoof-fulls of dirt at Twilight's face. Twilight gave him 'nother good, hard stare. What was it with these two? Were they sharin' some sort of secret? Friends ain't supposed to keep secrets from one another! I felt myself gettin' hot from anger, furious littl' parasites leechin' onta my coat.
Applejack, are ya'll actually getting jealous of Twilight? Ya silly pony, there ain't nothin' goin' on between those two.
"Well, c'mon Spike, we have a couple books to find about what type of fire to build. Normally, I could remember which fire is ideal for cooking, and how we can shift it to a fire that's ideal for heating, but I guess today is just one of those days," Twilight glanced accusingly at Discord and I as she heaved herself from her crystal throne, and gestured ta Spike, on a lower throne, to follow 'er inta the library.
Holy Golden Delicious, I completely forgot that Spike was here.
He stood up from his throne, his face completely confused, straightened his littl' spikes, and turned to follow his...er...ya know, I really can't say I have a great definition of what ta call their relationship. Mother an' son? Sister an' brother? I reckon it's a mix of both, ta tell ya the truth.
And then, guess what happened?
I was alone with Mister Master of Chaos himself, the draconequus who annoyed me, yet interested me, like heck.
"Well, Applejack, looks like it's just you and me, in the throne room, all by ourselves," Discord snapped his eagle claw, the result bein' that we were suddenly in the kitchen, the silverware and pots gleamin' and shinin' like Hearth's Warmin' Eve. I froze, starstruck, as he patted my Stetson and ruffled my mane, kinda like somethin' Big Mac would do when we were cookin' breakfast.
Snappin' the end of his tail, he summoned a ragged ol' chef's hat an' an apron that said Kiss the Cook in big, swirly letters.
Which was, I have to admit, exactly what I wanted ta do.
"Well, time to get cookin', Sugarcube!" he mocked my accent, snappin' his fingers and addin' freckles, just like my own, to his oddly attractin' features, with a goofy look on his face. He strutted over to the pantry like some big shot as a Stetson appeared on his head.
I reached up to my own and growled at his back when all I felt was empty air.
The royal kitchen in Twilight's castle was nothin' short of breathtakin'. It had expensive, granite countertops, a few impressive stoves, modern appliances, a huge selection of cabinets and pantries, and a refrigerator-sized cooler fer keepin' the food fresh an' nutritious when we weren't usin' it. There were grand windows 'bove the sink, and the cooler, providin' a beautiful view on my hometown, Ponyville.
Us eight friends rarely used the kitchen. It was more of a place ta get food, not ta cook it. An' usually, when we did cook food, it was Spike, Twilight, and I ('cuz I knew 'bout bakin' and temperature) orderin' the rest 'round while we checked things over and did some of the more difficult jobs. But besides that, we only used the kitchen ta store food; like marshmallows, chocolate, an' hayburgers.
"Discord," I said irritatedly, tryin' as hard as I could not ta lose my lunch, "we ain't cookin' the food. We're just gettin' the materials ta cook food at the campfire. Then we'll cook the food. Now gimme my hat back." I started ta walk towards the other side of the kitchen, where the cooler was. The hayburgers oughta be in there, 'cuz if not, I'm a flyin' apple.
"Applejack, do you know what a joke is?" Discord replied from the other end, as I felt a ligh' weight drop onta my mane, just behind my ears. I turned my head ta see him twirlin' the bag o' marshmallows on his finger like a basketball, his face jokin' and silly. I made a rude sound and rolled my eyes, turnin' back ta the cooler. Thank Celestia he didn't see the blush, like pink paint, on my cheeks.
"Yes, yes I do, thank ya very much."
"Really? Because you've never laughed at one of my jokes; not one."
Now, now, that ain't true. Ever since he said those words, I've secretly laughed at every single one of his jokes, suddenly findin' them more funny than I'm willin' ta admit. But I guess, lookin' at it from Discord's point of view, it sure does look like I've only chuckled weakly at one from time ta time.
I sighed as I grabbed the handle to the cooler. "Discord, why do ya'll even care? It's just jokes; everypony has different humor, includin' me." I leaned forward, my frontlegs bent, and started ta rummage threw the various food items from our many gatherin's, dinners, and slumber parties, lookin' for hayburgers, buns, and tamata ketchup.
Discord gasped as if that were the most darn offensive thing I could possibly say. "Dear Applejack, I care because you are my friend. Friends are supposed to make other friends laugh, yes? Or is that yet another thing about friendship that is incorrect?" I turned around ta see Discord, still wearin' his ridiculous chef's outfit, with some fancy monocle and a comically large stack o' documents, the top page marked; Things About Friendship That I Thought Were True But Aren't.
"Discord, yer jokes are hilarious. But I'm just not a pony fer showin' her emotions too much," I replied, shovin' aside a packet o' Pinkie's famous candy-coated popsicles from our last slumber party. I chuckled in triumph when I saw the hayburgers and buns, stacked on top of the chocolate-covered apples that I had brought a while back. Gosh darnet, Twilight, ya'll really need ta clean out this fridge. I reached for the two packages, strainin' my back muscles in the process.
"Applejack, has anypony ever told you that you look pretty when you stretch your back like that?"
I hit my head on the top o' the cooler the minute he said it.
My cheeks done went as crimson as an apple blossom as I answered, my voice shakin' a lot more than I would have allowed it. Celestia, thank you so much for makin' my face bein' in a cooler. "Say what now?" I wasn't sure if I heard right. Did Discord, as in, Discord Discord, really just say that to me? That I look pretty when I stretch my back? Naw. Naw, it's just the fumes of the rotten candy apples.
"I said, has anypony ever told you that you look pretty when you stretch your back like that?"
Oh. Alright, then. Maybe it ain't the candy apple fumes.
Maybe it's just that I'm darn losin' my mind.
"Er...no. But thank ya, Discord," I thanked him, my brain as numb as the candy-coated popsicles. Could it really be true? Could Princess Luna finally be answerin' my prayers, at last? I tilted my head just a fraction, so I could get a decent view of Discord without him seein' the direction of my eyes.
Could Discord really find me...attractive?
"No problem, Applejack. After all, it is a friend's job to compliment, correct?"
I paused fer a second.
"Friendship is whatever ya make of it, Discord. Friendship is whatever ya make of it."