Derpy Writes A Novel

by Murp


Derpy's idea

Derpy Whooves sat at her little, wood table munching on her morning blueberry muffin. It was a bit burnt at the top, but Derpy liked it a bit crispy. At least, that was the story she stuck to. She didn't want other ponies to think she couldn't even bake a muffin correctly.

Because as it seemed, nopony liked Derpy. She was always being told she was doing something wrong, especially by Rainbow Dash, even when she tried desperately to suck up to her. The blue pegasus was always yelling at her, bringing her down. Sometimes she wished she could just-

The grey mare tried to push these thoughts out of her brain. She didn't like having negative thoughts about anypony in her head. She was nice, and that's the way she wanted to stay.

Before she knew it, her yummy treat was gone, and Derpy found herself biting the plate. She spit it out, a little saliva on it. She stood up, walked out the door, and flew up to Rainbow Shine, who was tampering with a heavy rain cloud.

"Hi RS." Derpy smiled, bits of her breakfast still in her teeth.

"Hi Derpy," the purple mare replied, pushing the cloud to one side to get rid of the cross eyed pegasus following her.

"What are you doing?"

"My job, like you should be doing as well." Rainbow Shine scanned her eyes across the sky. They finally met with a black stallion who was clearing some clouds that were blocking the sun. "Thunderlane looks like he could use some help."

Thunderlane's ears pricked up. He groaned as Derpy made her way to him.

"Hi, Thunderlane! Ya need some help?" she asked.

"Uh.. Um.. Fine Derpy.." He sighed and began to blow the clouds out of the way with his wing flaps.

Derpy put her back to the clouds, as was Thunderlane, and started to wildly flutter her wings.

The clouds swirled up and stack on top of each other.

"Um, Derpy, I think that's a rain cloud," Thunder informed, annoyance in his tone.

"Do we need rain this morning?" Derpy asked thoughtfully.

"No.. Well, Rainbow Dash didn't schedule one this week, but you better ask her."

"Oh, what's a 'lil drizzle gonna do?" Derpy got on top of the thick, black cloud, and started to hop furiously on it. Hard rain poured down, slamming Firefly, Fluttershy, and Cloudkicker to the ground.

"Derpy! Stop bouncing!" Thunder yelled, his voice muffled due to the intense amount of precipitation coming down.

"What? I can't here you!" Derpy called back, her voice also being lost.

"Stop the rain!" Rainbow Dash screeched.

Derpy heard that. She stopped bouncing and looked at the blue pegasus who was flying over to her.

"What in Celestia's name was that?" Rainbow snapped.

"Rain," Derpy bluntly replied, and under her breath, she muttered, "Duh."

"I meant, why would you do that?" Rainbow's voice was getting angrier by the second.

"I thought a drink would help the earth pony's plants grow larger," Derpy truthfully explained.

"Derpy, I think you should just go home. Right now."

"Bu-But."

"Now!" Rainbow didn't look happy at all.

Derpy looked at her, her gold eyes wide, as she hung her head and flew home.

"Oh, I'm so stupid." Derpy flopped down on her couch.

Dinky came up to her and rested her head in her lap. "What's the matter, Mommy?"

"Your mommy is an idiot, that's what." Derpy sighed, depressed.

"You're not dumb, Mommy." Dinky crawled up her mother and pecked her on the cheek. "You're just special."

"Thanks sweetie," Derpy sarcastically remarked, walking to her room.

Dinky looked at the door oddly. "Was it something I said?"

***

"In recent news, Twilight Sparkle, author of five best-selling novels, has released a new autobiography called Mare on Fire. I'm sure it'll be a great read." Trixie smiled at her companion, who was Dr. Whooves.

"A great read, indeed, Trixie. I'll be sure to pick up a copy," Dr. Whooves replied.

"I'm so tired of this Twilight girl," Derpy grumbled, breaking her "nice-to-everpony attitude". "It can't be too hard to write a book. I don't know why everypony pays so much attention to her."

Then, an idea popped into her head, "I can be an author! Not everypony might like me as a weather pony, but they can't hate me as a book writer."

The grey pony rushed downstairs. She went into a drawer and took out paper, pencils, and a box of crayons, a lot of them broken in half with the skin peeled off so only the wax was showing.

She sat herself down at the breakfast table with a pencil in hoof. Tapping her chin, she jotted things down on the paper while saying them aloud.

"What about.. A spider! Yeah! And the spider eats a pie. No wait, a muffin! But first, the spider has to bake the muffin," Derpy decided, scribbling it onto the sheet of notebook paper.

Dinky walked in, hearing her mother's voice present. "Hi Mom! Are you feeling better?"

"Better than better, Dinky!" Derpy didn't look away from her paper. When she was done writing, she proudly showcased her sheet. "I'm going to be an author!"

Dinky scrunched her nose, blinked twice, and fainted.

"Oh silly, Dinky. You don't understand how famous we're going to be." Derpy giggled, talking to her fainted filly. "We're going to have more bits that Celestia herself, and millions of ponies will kill to have a strand of our manes, just like Twilight Sparkle."

"We'll have our own t-shirts, and video games, and documentaries, and toys, and posters." Derpy fantasized.

Dinky twitched her back leg.

"Well, off to bed for you, young filly." Derpy walked over, picked her up, and brought her into her room.