Right now I’m looking at the next step that must be taken to advance the plan, and yet if I do this wrong then everything that has been accomplished so far will be for nothing. I’m looking at a package of identical black bandannas. They were just like the one I used when I covered my face for the Fluttershy assassination. More importantly I now need them for the Magic Mist shooting. They’re perfect for covering our faces and I think when they’re tied into a mask they look pretty intimidating.
After our little planning session last night we pretty much retired to our beds for the night. I slept like a baby, meaning I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep so everyone else had to suffer. Point is I’m a little bit sleepy and I’m not thinking straight which is why I’m thinking about stealing. It should be noted that I suck at stealing things. I learned that way back in a little town outside Atlanta, Georgia. It was the first time in my life that I was scared for my safety. But that is another story.
Right now I’m deep in the market district of Manehattan. But it’s not the rich market district that all the tourists go to which is advertised everywhere, but it’s the poor market district. This apparently is where humans that aren’t tourists shop because the prices aren’t outrageous like in the real market district. The place is a bit run down but like most Equestrian cities it’s nothing compared to the poverty of Earth. It’s set up like a big flea market with black tents covering tables that are full of whatever the stand is selling. There’s all sort of junk, most of which is food or clothing, which is why I ended up looking here. Actually this is apparently where Jess shops for the shelter which is another reason why I came here.
However, what really ticks me off is what I’ve noticed about the stands. Every single one of them is operated by a pony. I must have walked this whole market at least twice and I’ve only seen pony vendors. What the hell? It’s humans doing the shopping so humans should be doing the selling. And I bet these ponies are charging us way more than what this shit is actually worth. But there is one upside to the pony vendors. I’m not gunna feel guilty when I steal from them.
Way back when I was drifting it would come down to where I would have to steal to survive. I’ve done gas pump drive offs and stolen food on multiple occasions. The first time I did steal I was so scared I drove all the way to the next town over. Sure I felt a bit guilty because I knew I would be an inconvenience to someone but I did what I had to do to survive. It’s a hard life when you have no home so the conscience must be sacrifice so the body can survive. However I soon discovered that the guilt did not extend to ponies.
There was this one time where I was in a restaurant and I had just paid and was getting ready to leave. The whole time I was eating I had been watching this couple in disgust. It was a pony and this woman and they were really hitting it off. I remember being really angry and wishing I could do something but I restrained myself because it wasn’t worth it. Well they left before me and I had noticed that the stallion had left his wallet. Don’t know why a pony would be carrying a wallet since they have no pockets but I was quick to act. My first reaction when I see an opportunity to get free cash is to take it. It’s a bad habit I admit but it’s totally justifiable. So I walked over and took all the cash out of that wallet and sat back at my own table.
Now usually I would first look for anybody watching before and after the crime, but that day I was arrogant and just wanted it done fast. To my surprise nobody had noticed me, which was a first, and I was thankful for the lucky break, also made a pretty good catch on the wallet so I was happy. I even watched the stallion come back and take his wallet and he had no clue what was gone. I then had laughed to myself and hopped back into my car then drove off laughing until I was on the highway. That was how I learned that I can steal from a pony all I want and not feel a twinge of guilt. Guess it was a prelude to how I learned I can kill a pony and feel satisfaction.
Back to the subject at hand, I’ve been eyeing this whole scene for a while and I have a feeling that it’ll be a bit tough. I mean the pony vendor that owns this stand is way too close to his product for me to just take it and walk off. What worries me more is that someone will try and be a hero and stop me. Yeah that’s been a real problem in the past. I’ll just be trying to take what I need to survive and some “hero” would try and stop me when I’m just trying to not starve to death. There are some very heartless people I learned; people that would rather see someone starve to death just so they can uphold the law. Now where’s the humanity in that?
The only way I’m gunna get what I want is through chance. I’m gunna have to risk it because unless a conveniently timed meteor strikes and makes everything look in the opposite direction, I’m just gunna wing it. As soon as the pony’s back is turned, I’ll grab the package of bandannas and walk off. It’s harder than it sounds. I have failed multiple times but luckily I was faster than all my pursuers.
As luck would have it, another customer approached the pony and blocked his view of me. Obviously this was the chance I needed so I grabbed the package and briskly turned around so my back was facing the pony vendor. Then I began to walk away, slowly at first and quickly advancing my pace. I tucked the package into the jacket that Jess had loaned me and made my way out of the market. I must have walked past a hundred people but none of them stopped me. I guess maybe they’re stealing too. That’s happened before. Got into a fight with someone that was trying to take the same thing I was taking. Let’s just say we made a great distraction for a third guy to swoop in.
When I was sure that I was in the clear I took a moment on a public bench. I had somehow found myself in front of city hall. This was the place that I had first met Jess; that’s weird. Even weirder is I’ve successfully stolen from a crowded marketplace in broad daylight. Score one for humanity, I guess.
I stretched for a seconds and pulled the bandannas out. I looked over the package, slowly turning it over and reading what the labels said. There are apparently ten black bandannas here which are more than enough for our little operation. I grinned and opened them up. I took the first one out and laid it in my hand. I then proceeded to fold it in half and wrap it around my face and tie it around the back of my head. It formed a mask and I was swept by a wave of nostalgia. This felt like how it was when I was holding that sniper rifle. It was a protective feeling like being inside a snow jacket in the harsh winter. The wind may be pelting but the jacket is protecting so there is nothing to worry about. Now it was the bandana was protecting my identity from the outside world. Kind of felt like I was a different person.
After the effect wore off I took the mask off and laid it on my lap. For the next minutes I looked around at what I could see. Guess I’m getting a little sentimental. After all I’m not gunna see any of this ever again so I might as well take it all in.
I wonder how I’ll die. Will it be by some cop that gets a lucky shot or by my own gun? I wonder what death will be like. Will it be painful or quick? I hope the Grim Reaper isn’t gunna be a dick when I meet him. I wonder if there is a Grim Reaper. Hey I better be going to Heaven because I’ve suffered for a lot of my life and I deserve some kind of apology or reward for going through it all. Nah I’ll probably burn in hell for the shit I’m gunna do.
I continued to look at the bandanas. Because of them, people will never know who will be the ones that will change Equestria forever; well at least initially. Actually fuck it, the ponies and bronies need to have something to blame; really put fear into them. I’ve learned that remaining anonymous gets you nowhere. I can just ask Danny and Fluttershy. Both of them have no idea that I’m the true murderer but that’s good because I’m still here because of that. What’s not good is that was ineffective at causing any change. All everyone knows is the true culprit behind Fluttershy’s death is a human that is referred to as the “sniper” or the “yellow jacket”. Because of the ominous circumstances the ponies haven’t fell the full force of it all. My hidden input made it so the assassination could never have that Lee Harvey Oswald, Osama Bin Laden, or John Wilkes Booth figure that encompasses the crime that people could rally against. There was no effect that the assassination was something committed by a mortal human, so people couldn’t find a meaning and so they didn’t care.
What this new stunt needs is a symbol that encompasses the violence and hatred of what I’ll do. People need to be able to point and say “there he is; there is what we can blame”. After all, once they can blame something then they will feel the weight and then the world will change. And for better or for worse depends on who’s looking at it. I know that when that strip club dies there will be a little bit of evil taken out of the world.
A smile crept on my face as I proceeded to take all of the bandanas out of the package. I then stuffed them into my pocket and threw the empty package onto the street where it blew away. I began walking back towards the market. There was one more thing I needed to do.
By the time I made it back to the shelter it was already past dinner time. I know that Jess will be a little angry with me but whatever. When I got into the cafeteria I found Jones, Erik, Rodney, and Derek were together and looking at some paper Erik had. I walked over to them.
“Ah Jim, good of you to join us.” Erik greeted me. “How was your day?”
“Good.” I nodded and my eyes found their way to the paper Erik had. “What’s that about?” I pointed to it.
“Just notes that I took while Jones and I were at the club.” Erik slid the paper over to me. “Damn you were right about the smell.” He remarked. “I’ve never been to a more unclean and rank place in my life. Oh wait! I did go to Galacon once.” He laughed a bit at that one.
I sat down and looked at the notes Erik had taken. He had added considerately more to his previous notes. Now there was a rough sketch of the inside of the club. It was pretty straightforward. The club’s entrance will give way to a hallway that leads to two rooms. The first room is the main room where the strippers will be performing. According to Erik’s notes it’s a huge room with a stage, bar, and an upper area for VIPs. There is only one exit from the main room and that is also the entrance. This means that if we block the entrance they will have nowhere to go since the entrance is also the exit. How stupid of the architects to do such as thing. They must have been ponies.
The other door Erik marked as security. That is probably where the cameras are being operated. It makes me wonder what security will be like. I expect some big dudes with muscles to be guarding the place but I wonder if they’re armed. Erik made no notes on it.
“Hey Jim.” Jones said. “You never told us that people use that metal door.”
“Huh?” I looked up at him.
“Oh yeah that reminds me.” Erik piped up. “I continued the notes on the other side. Did you know that the staff there uses that door when the place starts up?”
I turned the paper over and began reviewing the flip side. “No I didn’t. But that makes sense that they’d use that entrance. Where do you think it leads to?”
“Either the security room or VIP area. I say the VIP area because we didn’t get a good look up there so we don’t know everything about it.” Erik explained. “But anyways, Jones and I were discussing it and we think that we might be able to use that door after all.”
“Yeah it’s just a matter of speed.” Jones added. “If someone were to overpower someone that was unlocking the door then we could sneak in the back without needing to fight past the front. I recommend Drake. He could incapacitate someone quickly like that. I know he has the experience.”
Just then Jess yelled for me. “Jim you want some food?”
I turned to look at where she was yelling from. “No I’m good.” I yelled back.
“Are you sure?” she yelled.
“Yes!” I shouted. Damn, what is she my mom? I looked back at my buddies to find them smiling like a bunch of damn clowns. Made me uncomfortable. “What?” I spat.
“So,” Erik had a smile like a snake. “When you two gunna fuck?”
That caught me off guard. “What the fuck!”
Then Derek got interested in the conversation. “Yeah when are you gunna slide into her DM’s?” Thank God I know what that slang means. I guess Darius was good for something.
“Why the hell would I do that?” I asked.
“Are you kidding?” Derek said irritated. “She talks to you the most and lets you in her room. And you’ve only been here for like three months. I’ve been here almost two years and I couldn’t get so much as a wink out of her. But you get her to pay attention to your ass. How come? My cock is longer than yours.”
I developed a competitive grin. “I don’t know, man. I do have a long dick.”
“Alright first off, you white.” Derek sneered. “And I’m black. Case closed.”
“But you know what they say about guys with small hands, right?” I leaned across the table to him.
“What? My hands are bigger than yours.” Derek held his open palm out. I grinned wickedly and held my hand to his. A look of horror spread of Derek’s face well my fingers extended about an inch more than his.
“Well, well, well.” I snickered and withdrew my hand. “Guess this breaks racial stereotypes. Hey you know what we should call you now? Lil D.” Rodney immediately burst into laughter while everyone else snickered a bit.
“You motherfucker.” Derek seethed.
“And what’s better is it fits you.” I laughed along. “I mean you’re name begins with D and you’re short. It’s perfect for you.” At that moment Derek lunged across the table towards me. I flinched as it is my usual reaction but he never reached me. Rodney had grabbed him and pulled him backwards.
“What the hell is going on here?” Jess stormed over. She must have observed the scene which I imagine must have looked pretty threatening from her perspective. I mean there was yelling and some guy tried vaulting himself over a table. Jess is used to breaking up fights and she’s very quick to resolve them. Strangely enough most fighting comes from the female residents and rarely do the guys start anything. Guess we’re just more chillaxed.
“Derek and Jim here were comparing their dick sizes.” Rodney informed her through a couple chuckles.
Jess stood there for a second. I stopped breathing as I waited for whatever wrath she would bestow on us. But to my surprise she just giggled. “Seriously you guys?” She waved her hand. “That’s sounds like something a bunch of gay little middle schoolers would do.”
“That’s what they are.” Jones said. “And they’re gunna be handling guns so let’s hope they mature.”
I feel a bit awkward. Something about Jones saying we need to act more mature makes sense. We are gunna be handling guns and we’re gunna be deciding the lives of a lot of club patrons. This is life and death and all I’m doing is trying to compare my dick size. Maybe I do need to act more mature. Nah, actually I’m fine.
“So, uh,” I looked at everybody. “What’s next?”
“Well,” Erik said. “I want to take another look at the club just to double check a couple things. Jones would you like to come with me?”
“Why not.” Jones shrugged.
“So I’m guessing that means we’ve made no progress yet.” I mumbled a bit disappointed.
“No not entirely.” Rodney spoke up. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a floppy black hat. “Look what Jess gave us.” He said twirling the hat on his finger. “We can use these to cover our heads.”
“You’re giving those to us?” I said shocked. Shocked because that means she’s helping us. Why would she do that?
“Yeah.” Jess nodded. “After last winter I saw how cold some of you were getting. The heat doesn’t really work that well in this building.” She’s right last winter had some very chilly moments. Why it had to get to almost below zero is beyond me. I guess the rest of this city doesn’t know there are some places in the city that don’t have heating like the upper class parts. “So I went shopping and was able to make a deal that gave me a crate full of them. I’ll give them out next winter.” Jess said.
“Wow, so basically you’re cool with us killing all those ponies?” I asked.
“I thought I already told you no?” Jess scowled.
“But you’re helping us!” I pleaded. “So you can’t really be against us.”
“Well I am, Jim.” Jess crossed his arms. “Accept it and move on.” She’s totally denying it; I know that for a fact. I just want to know why.
“Anyways!” Erik spoke up. “The hats are just part one of the disguise. We need something to cover our faces.”
“Oh wait a minute!” I exclaimed and reaching into my pockets. How did I forget this? I pulled out the bandanas and tossed them all onto the table in front of me. “Look what I got!” I said full of pride.
“Jim those are perfect.” Jones smiled.
“Where the hell did you get those?” Jess asked sternly. “Because you don’t have money so that narrows it down to one thing.”
“What, do you think I stole them?” I asked. The raised eyebrow Jess gave me said ‘yes’. “Ah come on.” I moaned. “I stole it from a pony. He was rich anyways. Well most likely rich. Their mint used to be gold for god’s sake.”
“Jim, you could have been arrested.” Jess frowned.
“But I didn’t.” I insisted.
“Yeah this time.” She said with her hand on her hips.
“Still that was a great find, Jim.” Erik said. “With those I believe we’re now only two steps away now.” He produced a pencil and crossed out the bullet that read “full face coverage”.
After that I handed the bandanas out to everyone. They all tried them on and started admiring themselves. Rodney and Derek seemed to enjoy them the most as they started pretending they were in a gang of some kind. When we put them on we looked so weird. We looked intimidating. I don’t know if it’s just the notorious look of wearing a bandana mask but we looked official. We looked like terrorists. No, anarchists. Yep, this is how Zayn probably pictured we would look like. This is how I pictured we would look like. This is our true identities.
Since it was getting close to bed time some of us decided to head in a bit early. So they left and I found myself alone with Rodney and Derek. They had insisted they have a chat with me and knowing what they wanted I stuck around. Yesterday I had made a deal with them and they are most likely anxious to complete it. So now they eyed my like wolves that hadn’t eaten in days and had just came across a lone elk.
“So Jim.” Derek whistled. “That deal we made.”
“I know, I know.” I shook my head. “And don’t worry because I do have it. Just stay here for a sec.” I walked out of the shelter and went to the side alley of the building. I went to the place that Frank parked his truck which was right next to that purple dumpster. I don’t know why he doesn’t park it in the parking lot since it must smell being right next to a dumpster. But Frank says that his car is too suspicious so he can’t park it in plain sight. I think he’s just being paranoid but I guess I would too if I was hauling guns around with me.
Anyways I headed straight to the purple dumpster and opened up one of the sides. I held my breath and reached into it. I fumbled around till my hand found what it was looking for and I pulled it up. I then cradled the little package and headed inside.
I put in a lot of work to get this thing. All I can say is I hope that Rodney and Derek appreciate it. I nearly busted my balls getting what they wanted and if I knew it would be so hard to get I wouldn’t have even bothered. But I have it now and that’s all that matters. I walked right back into the shelter and walked right back up to Rodney and Derek. They were anxiously awaiting my arrival.
“So,” Derek rubbed his hands together. “Got ‘em?”
“You’re god damn right I got ‘em.” I frowned as I sat down across from them. “They were a pain in the ass to get.”
“Well let’s see them then.” Rodney crossed his arms. “I hope you got the right ones.”
I laid the package on the table and pushed them across. “Yeah I got the right ones.” I spat. “You got the oxy?”
“Hold on whitey.” Derek scowled. “We need to make sure first.” He tore into the paper wrapping and opened up the package. As soon as they did their faces changed from hard and unreadable to almost crying.
“They’re beautiful.” Rodney mumbled. He held it in his hand. The emblem of Michael Jordan seemed to gleam in the limelight.
I rolled my eyes. “I should have known you guys would be sneaker heads.”
“We’re black, Jim.” Derek said in a hushed tone as he too admired his new sneakers.
“Yeah whatever.” I snorted. Figures they would be obsessed with shoes. They must be part girl or something. Actually I remember way back when Darius had gone through a sneaker head phase. That was when he was still trying to fit into his new neighborhood. He had wanted me to join him but I couldn’t afford the sneakers he was telling me to buy. Eventually he gave up the fad, claiming it was for rich privileged kids or broke kids that forget they’re poor. Rodney and Derek must be the latter.
By now they had them on and were looking at them and posing like models. At least they are appreciative. “You guys don’t have any idea how frustrating it was to get those?” I grinned. “So I was at the market and I spotted them right where you said they’d be. It was obvious it wouldn’t be easy but I wanted that Oxycontin so I was willing to take the chance. My chance did come when suddenly this kid walked up to the pony vendor I was gunna get the shoes from. He must have been helping the vendor out but the vendor was treating him like shit. Then the pony began yelling at the kid for no reason and it was making quite a scene. He even had the nerve to put his hooves on the kid. Well the kid pushed him off and began walking away which is where things heated up. The pony started barking that the kid hit him or something stupid like that. That’s when two police officers came and immediately tackled the kid to the ground. The officers were ponies, a Pegasus and a unicorn. They were able to overpower the kid because the Pegasus came from the air and choked the kid while the unicorn did some magical bullshit and slammed the kid onto the concrete. This whole time the kid was screaming that he can’t breathe, but the Pegasus just laughs and says if he can scream then he can breathe. The worst part was despite the chokehold the ponies still wanted to act tuff, so the unicorn pulled out a gun and yelled ‘move and die’ over and over to the poor kid. I didn’t even know ponies carried guns but apparently they do. I don’t know but from what I can infer, if it is possible for the pony to accurately use a gun then they can use it. This must extend to unicorns that can use telekinesis, maybe even pegasi because I know their wings can act like hands. Anyways the kid was hauled off and in the chaos I got the shoes. But, damn, seeing that makes me uneasy. If it’s that easy for a human to get arrested around here then what does this mean? It means Equestria is trying to erase human society. They’ll start small in their own country and then expand to Earth. Clever little bastards.” I looked over to Rodney and Derek who were now sniffing their shoes and making faces of pure ecstasy.
“Are you guys even listening to me?” I growled.
“Huh?” Derek grunted. “Oh yeah, Jim, sure. Something about police and can’t breathe.” I groaned. Figures they wouldn’t listen to me. They got their heads so far up their own ass that they forget to thank the one that got them those damn kicks.
Well I guess I might as well get what is owed to me. “Can I have my oxy now?” I asked.
“Sure heads up.” Rodney said and threw a pill bottle at me. I wasn’t even expecting it and it slammed into my face and then conveniently landed in my hand. Neat.
I left the table and started to examine the case. Inside were these little yellow circular tablets. They looked innocent enough. I wonder what’ll happen. I forget what these do to you. But the point is to feel good and that what drugs do right? Yeah they make people feel good and I could use a little feeling good right about now.
But if I am gunna do this I would like some water to help swallow these. Guess I’ll go ask Jess. I found her washing dishes and although it’s a bad time to approach her when she’s working, I decided to anyways.
“Hi Jess.” I greeted her.
“Oh hi Jim.” Jess said facing away from me while she cleaned. “Come to help?” She began to turn around and at the moment I realized I was holding the pill bottle in my hand. Quick as a fucking rabbit I hid the bottle behind me back. Jess looked at me. “What do you have behind your back?” She asked.
“Nothing!” I spat.
“Clearly there is something. Come on let me see it.” She moved to my right and I responded by spinning left. She continued right and I continued twirling left. Eventually she just pushed me against the counter.
“Hey Jess. Let me help you with the dishes.” I whimpered nervously.
“Oh alright.” She said giving up. “Glad to see that someone is willing to help me.”
When she wasn’t looking I stuffed the bottle into my jacket pocket. Lucky for Jess I don’t mind cleaning stuff. I’m very happy when it comes to cleaning. It must be my inner bitch but I feel that things must be clean to be appreciated.
It didn’t take too long since she did most of the work. When I was done my hands were clammy but on the bright side Jess was happy. Now to get what I wanted.
“Um Jess.” I said. “Could I get some water?”
“Oh sure Jim no problem.” Jess replied gladly. I grabbed one of the cups I had cleaned and went to get water from the faucet but Jess stopped me. “Don’t do that.” He said taking the cup out of my hand. “That comes from the city supply and wherever they get it is toxic to humans.”
“What!” I exclaimed. “They’re trying to poison us!”
“Not intentionally.” Jess said. She frowned at me. “Don’t give me that look.” I don’t know what she’s talking about. “You’re thinking that ponies are trying to kill us through unassuming methods. Well lemme tell you you’re wrong. They’re little things called pathogens, microscopic organisms, and they’re in the water supply. They aren’t harmful to the natives but they can be to visitors. Every region of the world has them both on Earth and in Equestria. If Europeans go to America they are advised to drink bottled water and that is true vice versa. In Equestria it’s the same as any other place. So that means if you want water it’ll have to be bottled. Hold on I’ll get it for you.”
Well that really answers a few questions of mine. Truthfully despite being at the shelter for a while I haven’t really questioned much and therefore haven’t learned much. Actually I’ve been in idyllic calmness the whole time as I imagined how I would destroy that strip club. So I never asked why I was always given bottled water even when I was an anarchist. All I knew was Zayn provided me with shelter as long as I was loyal to him. But I guess he was also looking out for me in some way.
Jess unlocked the refrigerator that held the waters. Alright I haven’t been questioning things so I might as well start now. “Jess why do you lock up the food and water?” I asked.
“Same reason people lock anything else up.” Jess replied reaching for a bottle. “To protect it from being stolen.”
“Stolen by who though?” I continued. “I understand some people here are shady but I’m sure most of us wouldn’t cross you. Wait are you keeping it safe from ponies?”
Jess just shook her head. “No because I doubt I’ll see a pony in here.” Huh, that sentence strikes me as odd. Why wouldn’t a pony be here? I mean I’ve never seen a homeless pony but I see no reason a homeless shelter in Equestria wouldn’t have any Equestrians in it.
“Why?” I muttered. “Why wouldn’t a pony be here?”
“Ah it’s complicated Jim.” Jess said. “Don’t worry about it though.” She may tell me that but I still wonder. My view of Jess is she’s willing to help everyone. But I wonder exactly who that extends to. Apparently she’ll tolerate men which she thinks are evil but not ponies. That’s good in a way. She turned around and gave me the bottle of water.
“Thanks.” I said and walked away. Immediately I headed to the men’s bathroom. There was another homeless guy in with me. I flashed him a smile and took the bottle of pills out of my jacket. He just looked at it and nodded before leaving. I unscrewed the pill bottle and shook out four pills. This should be enough I assume. I uncapped the water and in one big gulp I swallowed all four of them.
After that nothing happened. I shook my head and put the pill bottle back in my pocket. I looked at myself in the mirror. The person staring back looked tired and weak. It was sad to think that was my reflection. In my prime years I’m just some sad and weak man that is at the bottom of life. This reminds me why I took these drugs. I won’t change how I look but I’ll be happy. And that’s what drugs are for, being happy.
I walked out of the bathroom and into the men’s quarters. I slumped down into my bunk. Still don’t feel anything but I bet it’ll kick in anytime soon. Guess all I have to do is wait.
I sat up in my bed and looked around. I found Erik was lounging in the bunk in front of me. “Hey Erik.” I prodded him.
“Yeah Jim?” He asked turning around to face me.
“Erik, I just swallowed four oxies.” I grinned giddily.
“Oh that cool, Jim.” He said laying back down with his hands under his head.
“You ever done oxy before.” I asked. “How long does it take?”
“Hold up.” He growled. “I’ve never done drugs in my life. To tell the truth I’ve always been happy so I see no reason to take them.”
“Really?” I eyeballed him. “I figured that after your career was destroyed you’d be depressed and maybe get hook of something.”
“Hah!” Erik laughed. “Is that what it’s like in America? No we just move back in with our parents. However I decided to move here to escape the shame. That’s all it is really.”
“Oh okay. Hey hold that thought Erik.” My stomach was beginning to feel funny.
Erik turned to look at me. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t know. My guts just feel weird.”
“Oh that must mean it’s working.” Erik grinned. “Describe it for me.”
I held onto my stomach. “Well.” I started. “It feels kind of uncomfortable. Like a butterflies in your stomach kind of feeling. Actually my head also feels like it’s swimming. Oh wait hold on.” I belched but it didn’t relieve anything. “Excuse me but yeah.” I waited a couple seconds. “Oh wait the feeling is going away.”
“Really?” Drake asked.
“Yeah it.” I stopped.
“What is it?”
My stomach had just gone from butterflies to hornets and they were making their way up. “I need to get to the bathroom real quick.” I said standing up and briskly walking for the door. As the feeling intensified I started to run. Just as I made it into the bathroom stall I felt it coming in my throat. Soon I was puking my guts out.
If I looked weak before then now I really feel like it. I don’t know what’s happening but I can’t stop. It’s terrible with each time I get to take a breath another convulsion occurs. By the time Jess walked in I was praying hard to the porcelain god.
“Jim, Erik told me you weren’t feeling good. Are you okay?”
“No girls in the men’s bathroom.” I managed to choke out before going through another convulsion.
“Really Jim? I own this place.” Jess retorted. “Hold on I’m gunna get you some water.” She began to walk away but then stopped. “Wait a minute. Water. Oh shit!” She walked back to me. “Jim I think this is because of the water. Damn it all must be infected or something.”
“Yeah that’s it.” I nodded still on my knees. Jess briskly turned and walked towards the door.
Well it looks like I just dodged a bullet there. I don’t need to guess what would’ve happened if she found out I took drugs. So glad Erik didn’t tell her because I’ll bet she would’ve killed me by now. Guess good things do happen to the worst of people.
Only thing is now my conscience is messing with me. So it thinks that I should come clean to her. Its reasoning is that if I don’t do something then Jess will throw away all the water thinking it’s contaminated. Then the homeless here won’t have anything to drink all because I wanted to feel good. Also it thinks that I’m stupid and should confess because it’s the right thing to do. Well I say fuck the homeless; they can die of thirst for all I care. But I do think Jess should know about what I’ve done.
“Jess.” I moaned. “Jess come back here.” I heard her quickly run over.
“Yes? What is it?”
“So you think that maybe the water poisoned me?” I grinned.
“Yeah it must have been those pathogens.”
“Yeah.” I reached into my jacket pocket. “It could have been that. Or…” I took out the bottle of pills. “It could have been these.”
“What? What are these?” She asked snatching the bottle. “Oxycontin? Jim, are these yours?”
“Uh huh.” I nodded sullenly. “I got them after I made a deal with Rod and Derek. Please don’t punish them for this.”
“I knew it.” Jess hissed. “I knew it couldn’t have been the water. I’ve been getting shipments from them for months and haven’t had a problem.” She unscrewed the bottle. “I should have figured something like this would happen. You know I’ve told them to never sell to anyone here. I guess they thought they’d make an exception.” She grabbed my head and pushed it to the side. Then I watched as every yellow pill dropped into the water and then was flushed away. She let go and I returned back to the bowl to have another session with it.
I felt terrible and it wasn’t just from vomiting. I feel guilty I guess. Guilty that I’ve basically made someone worry for me. I mean I’m not alone anymore. I’m under the care of someone and to harm myself must tear her up inside. Heh, funny how I can feel bad for this but I can feel good for killing a pony. I just might be crazy.
“Jess.” I said weakly. “You never told me what happened to your father.”
“And I never will.” She shot back.
“No you have to.” I coughed. “I told you about my friends and the agreement was you have to tell me about your dad if I told you about them.”
I heard her sigh. “Alright, fine, you’re right. Just give me a minute.” She left the stall we were in and I heard the sound of water running. She returned soon after and leaned against the wall. “So you want to know about my daddy?” She asked.
“Yeah.” I murmured.
“Well it’s not the brightest story but alright.” She started. “I grew up outside the bad part of a city. Basically it was the suburbs and then the ghetto.”
“Wow we have something in common then.” I grinned. “I also lived in suburbs that were not too far away from a hood.”
“Well look at that, Jim. We have something in common.” Jess smiled. “Anyways, every once in a while the city boys would hang out in the suburbs and soon the place was getting to be bad like the city. I lived with my dad and just my dad. My mom was a felon and was in jail for life. She apparently had me only a couple weeks before she was put into the big house. So my dad raised me by himself and he was damn good at it. Problem was he was a police officer so he was usually never home. I was alone most of the time. I had to deal with all the hoods roaming around my neighborhood.”
“I know what that’s like.” I growled. “I used to hang around the bad neighborhood and the hoods would try and harass me. But I had a big black friend to protect me.”
“Yeah and the hoods used to harass me.” Jess added. “It was scary when they were around and my dad was gone. But it was okay because he taught me how to survive on my own. Everything I know is because of him. He taught me how to fight and how to take care of myself if he wasn’t home. Because of him I became known as a tough girl around town which landed me respect.”
“So your dad was the one that taught you how to fight?” I asked remembering all the times Jess had immobilized me or knocked me down.
“Yep.” Jess replied. “He enrolled me in several self defense classes and taught me whatever he learned as a cop. Eventually people looked up to me to protect them and I graciously accepted. I loved that and that’s where I learned how to care for people. See I had trouble with the city boys harassing girls so I had to step up and show them they can’t mess with us. That’s when my dad had a talk with me and said how proud he was of me. But he told me to be sure to never use my strength and power to abuse others even if they abuse you. He said people that have power or are in power should use their power to help others because if we didn’t then we’re using our power wrong.”
“Sounds like you dad was a pretty stand up guy.” I said.
“Oh he was.” Jess continued. “He was a cop sure but not one of those mean ones that abuse their power or are just rude. He did care about his community and wanted to heal it not imprison it. I remember how he used to get in trouble with his department because he was too lenient. He was always letting people go that he shouldn’t have. Not like murderers and such but just kids that had made a mistake. He told me that there were two criminals he met. Actual criminals and kids. The criminals he would arrest with extreme prejudice because they would never change. But the kids could change so when he came across one of them he would just stop them. Instead of threatening them with jail time he would take action. Once he took away some drug dealer’s gun and threw it down the sewer. He then asked if the drug dealer though blasting some kid that got on his nerve was really worth life imprisonment. The thing was my dad didn’t mind the city kids; he just didn’t want them to be hurt others or themselves. Because of what he did he was hated by other cops but loved by his community.”
“I would have liked to see that.” I mused. “I grew up avoiding cops. Still do.”
“And you should.” Jess said. “I grew up around cops. Sure there are a lot of good but there are a lot of bad. A good cop just does his job while a bad cop just tells you he’s doing his job. The difference is one doesn’t understand what it takes to keep the peace. But my dad did. He tried to maintain order and make sure that is was safe to go outside. Sure he made misjudgments but it wasn’t like he did them on purpose. He just tried to make everyone happy.”
“Hmph.” I was listening but at the same time I was in a staring contest with the toilet water. I think I still have one more in me. “So how did he go?”
“I don’t know Jim.” Jess muttered sadly. “Well I do know but I was never given a straight answer. I started this shelter two years back. This was when land was selling quickly in Equestria. Back then border control wasn’t what it is now and buying property wasn’t so strict so I got this place for a steal.”
“Where’d you get the money?” I asked.
“Loans, Jim.” Jess rolled her eyes. “I’m up to my tits in debt. However, because Equestria is so new to this economic system, I’m skating by while slowly trying to pay everything off and support everybody here.”
“So at any moment they could shut this place down?” I asked looking up at her horrified.
She nodded sadly. “I’m afraid so.” Then she grinned. “But it’s been two years and nobody has come to foreclose, so I think I have someone looking out for me.”
I chuckled a bit. “So how does your dad fit into all of this?”
“Oh right.” Jess nodded. “So about a year into the shelter I was doing pretty well. I was nervous that the debt collectors would come but I was confident that I could have just enough time to help a couple people even for just a couple months. It was early in the morning when a pony walked through the doors. I was surprised since he didn’t look homeless and I wasn’t expected there to be a pony that needed my help. When he approached me he was very shady like. I know a pony acting shady sounds odd but if one of them was acting shady then it must be important. He told me that they had been trying to contact me for the past week but since I didn’t have a phone at the time it was impossible. Somehow they did track me down which I felt was kind of weird. But slowly the pony explained to me that there had been an accident. He didn’t specify what, but he did say that my dad had died. Apparently he had been in Equestria and was the victim of bad architecture although they expect foul play.”
“Foul play?” I asked intrigued.
“I don’t know the exact place but the building he was in was really weak.” Jess explained. “They found him crushed but they determined that it couldn’t have fallen randomly. It had to be someone. Since they found nothing they suspect it was magic. And, well, we know who had magic.”
“Damn.” I murmured. “So ponies murdered your father?”
“Y-yeah.” Jess muffled a cry.
“That’s really sad Jess.” I said. “I know what it’s like to lose people to ponies. Heck I’ve lost four. Tell me, is your dad the reason you’re letting us shoot up that club?”
“I don’t know Jim.” Jess admitted. “I feel that my dad wasn’t given a proper farewell. No he wasn’t given any justice. That is fucked up for a man that had given his life for the law. He deserved better. Not to be killed in a foreign land by some pony.”
“What was he doing in Equestria?” I asked.
“I will never know that answer.” Jess shook her head. “If I had to guess he was either looking for me or maybe he was here after the cop transfers.”
“Cop transfers?” I cocked me head to look at her.
“Yeah, remember they sent thousands of police to Equestria a while back.” Jess said. “Most of them were volunteers but some veterans were sent to provide an example to the fresh blood. They were supposed to keep order as Equestria learned how to cope.”
“Woah.” I gasped grabbing my side.
“What?” Jess perked up.
“You do realize if what you say is true, they basically sent your father to his death.”
“That’s not…” Jess paused. “Actually maybe you’re right.”
“Hehehe.” I chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” She asked.
“I think it’s funny that out of all of us you have the most reason to hate ponies.” I laughed. “Your own dad gets taken away from you, ponies protest this shelter’s existence, and you live in fear of them taking all this away. Rodney and Derek only hate them because they have more than them. Heck those two hate anyone with more than them. Jones hates them because they took away his war and his family. However I doubt that a man that loves the battlefield and killing so much is that in touch with reality. Drake doesn’t hate anybody; he just likes to kill. I’m not too sure about Erik since his only quarrel is they ruined his career but maybe he’s crazy. As for me, ponies ruined my life. But I can’t really blame them completely since, let’s face it; I’m so fucked in the head that I just do stupid things. But you, you have credibility. You’re helping people and you own property. Nobody else here has that so nobody else has much to lose.”
Jess blinked. “Did you just analyze everyone’s motives?” She asked.
“Oh it’s just something I think about.” I huffed. “You see Jess I’ve been left alone to think for a really long time. And when the human mind thinks it drifts off into places that may be a bit ugly. If left to think for too long, we humans can become quite nasty. It’s why solitary confinement prisoners are so crazy. We think about things and forget about reality. Everything is better in our minds so it is hard to come back to the real world. And when we do come back to the real world we bring our new mindset with us and we find that it may or may not work so well. So we get frustrated, and when we get frustrated we get angry, and when we get angry we hate, and when we hate we get violent, and when we get violent we lose control, and when we lose control then others lose control, and when others lose control then the world loses control, and when the world loses control , we die.”
Jess looked at me mysteriously. “O-okay.”
“That’s why it’s better to just act and not think.” I finished. “If we act more and think less we’ll probably not be in this situation with ponies. Or is it feel more and think less? I actually feel like throwing up right now.” This time the convulsion wasn’t that bad.
“Uh Jim what am I gunna do with you?” Jess shook her head.
“No let’s think about it,” I said continuing on with my thoughts. “What if when the portals first open, instead of the soldiers welcoming the ponies, they instead shot them by accident? What do you think would’ve happen then?”
“I don’t know?” Jess sighed. “Probably would hurt our relationship with the ponies. I don’t know, maybe war?”
“Exactly!” I exclaimed. “And how would ponies fare in a war with us?”
“Well considering they were initially armed with magic, which had little effective offensive capabilities, and spears, and we are armed with rifles, tanks, and planes. Also considering that the population of Earth dwarfs the population of Equestria. They probably would have been wiped off the map.”
“Yes.” I grinned. “There would have been a war and none of this would have happened. Think about it. If there was a war then the bronies wouldn’t have gotten the power they have now. Earth wouldn’t be tied to whatever Equestria does. And on an individual scale, all of us here would be happy. You, Jess, would still have a father and probably wouldn’t owe money to these ponies. Rodney and Derek wouldn’t be stuck here hating everyone and instead would probably just be hometown thugs, not really harmless to anyone but their own community. Jones would have his war and be a happy little soldier. Drake I’m guessing would have been caught and brought to jail, just another killer off the street. Erik would’ve become an officer like he wanted. And Darius and I would’ve been United States Marines. Then I could have gotten my legs blown off in Iraq instead of being stuck here.”
“None of that really sounds better.” Jess muttered. “And who’s Darius?”
“8-set,” I stated. “He was my childhood friend. Remember he was killed by bronies pretty much the day after I got here. And I know it may not sound much better to you but to me it is. This shelter is a testament to how bad everything has become since ponies. Heck being human is the worst thing that you can be right now.”
“I would have to disagree, Jim,” Jess spoke. “We’re still kicking. It’s just, in Equestria at least, we have limitations now. And all we have to do is work with these limitations. We’ll be stronger in the end.”
“No you’re wrong.” I growled. “These limitations are choking us, making it so our species will soon die a slow and painful death. And it’s not just here in Equestria. I’ve been across the U.S. and I’ve seen acts of ponies controlling us. You haven’t been homeless before and seen the acts of kindness that have been bestowed to a pony because of their limitations. They aren’t as strong as us and because they are on four legs they can’t work as efficient as we can. So we help them build cities and manage their shit. All of this happens as there are crippled men sitting in the hot sun who have nothing, yet they aren’t given a lick of help. Everyone is too distracted by the ponies to care. In fact, shouldn’t the fact that they’re segregated us to this poor part of the city be proof enough? We’re like goddamn work animals that are only useful until we can’t work anymore and then they kill us, or they send us here to wait our lives out.”
Jess didn’t respond. I guess she didn’t know how. I wouldn’t either if I was in her situation. Her problem is she’s looking for a nonviolent answer to this torture. But I learned that they only answer is violence. I spent years driving around in my Jeep trying to avoid the problem and it only made the problem worse. This time we take action.
But I can understand the hesitation. After all I took my time to try and retaliate against the ponies, and I did at Bronycon. I can guarantee that after Jess witnesses the aftermath of our mission she’ll change her mind. Again, violence is the only answer. It creates reactions that will lead humanity to a better future. I know it will.
I was back in a staring contest with the toilet when I heard the sound of a door open. I looked up but didn’t bother stand up. I’m still nauseous and I don’t want Jess to clean up my mess if I happen to puke on the floor. Jess stood up to see who it was.
“Oh, um, hi Jess,” I heard a nervous voice speak.
“Hey Peter.” Jess greeted him.
“Uh, this is the men’s bathroom.” He said cautiously. I know I can’t see him but he sounds like he’s edgy as fuck.
“I fucking own this place. I can go where I want.” Jess snapped. She must be mad that we guys assume that she’s not allowed inside a place she owns.
“Alright sorry I said that.” He stammered. Oh God I forgot he used to be an awkward brony caricature.
“Well if you want to know why I’m here, it’s because Jim had a bad reaction to some Oxycontin that he bought from Rodney and Derek.” Jess explained. “I don’t know if you’re acquainted with them but just know that drugs are strictly prohibited here. Do you understand?”
“Y-yes ma’am.” Peter squeaked.
I grinned. I haven’t really spoken to Pete since I saved him from the street. I think it’s time to catch up.
“Jess.” I called out. It came out as a croak because I’m still sick.
“What?” Jess asked poking her head into the stall.
“Bring Pete in. I want to talk with him.” I moaned.
“Uh, alright if you insist.” Jess turned around. “Peter, Jim wants to see you.”
“I heard.” Peter said. I heard him walk into the stall with me. I turned my head to see him.
“Hiya Pete.” I smiled.
“Jim.” He nodded. “Man you look… bad.” I frowned at him. “Oh not like that I mean you look like hell. You’re eyes are all bloodshot and there are dark circles around them. Not to mention you’re really pale. I wouldn’t have pointed it out, but man you look like you’re dying.”
Something about what he said scared the living hell out of me. Dying? I can’t be dying! I still need to get transport for our plan. There are still things that I need to do. I stood up and hurriedly walked out of the stall. Sure I’m still nauseous but I need to see what Pete’s talking about.
I stumbled to the sinks where the mirrors are and slowly gazed upon my reflection. To my horror, Pete was right. Most of the white of my eyes were covered by red veins until they was a light pink look to them. To top it off there were dark circles around my eyes like I hadn’t had enough sleep. Then of course was my pale skin. It was almost grey which is scary. I spent a lot of time outside in the sun over the years while I was homeless so I’ve developed a darker complexion. My skin tone is usually nowhere close to be considered pale. However right now I looked like, as Pete put it, I’m dying.
I grabbed my head in panic. “Is this what happens when you do drugs?!” I exclaimed.
“Oh course not, Jim.” Jess stated. “You’re probably just tired and dehydrated. Let me get you another water.” She walked out leaving me alone with Peter.
“Hey Pete,” I smirked wrapping my arm around my buddy. “You know what I’m gunna do?”
“Uh no Jim. I don’t,” Peter replied.
“Heh, well have you ever heard of the Magic Mist?” I asked.
“No.”
“Have you been to a pony strip club before? Be truthful now,” Pete’s face scrounged up.
“I thought about it once,” He admitted. “But I’ve never gone.”
“Well the Magic Mist is a pony strip club about a mile or so from this place.” I explained. “And I and a couple of buddies want to go. Wanna come with us?” Pete stared slack jawed at me.
“You want to go to a pony strip club?” He asked.
“Of course.” I boasted. “We’re gunna go in there and have a good time. It’ll be a blast especially when we shoot every last slut in there with twelve gauge shotguns. Blow a few whore brains out of whore heads. Show ponies that we don’t want their bodies. The only thing we want with their bodies is to put them in graves.”
“Wait a minute,” Pete struggled out of my hold. “You’re saying that you and some friends are gunna get some guns and go kill hookers. Are you mad? Where are you gunna get firepower around here?”
“You know that man?” I poked a finger into Pete’s chest. “That man named Frank. He sells guns. You couldn’t buy from him since he’s not allowed to sell to people in the shelter, but I cut him a deal. Now he’s giving me and a couple others the means to wage war on ponies perverting themselves. We’re gunna shoot them into ribbons. Their club will flow red with a river of blood and guts from goddamn fucking whore… slut… bitch… I’m gunna be sick.” Once again I found myself racing to the stall. This time the convulsion was rather enormous. I grabbed the toilet lid and waited for it to be over. When it was over I suddenly felt much better. Guess my reaction is over. I stood up just as Jess walked into the stall.
“You feeling better, Jim?” she asked handing me a bottle of water.
“Yep,” I nodded taking the bottle and chugging it. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was until now. I basically downed the whole thing in one shot. “I was just telling Pete here about me and the boys’ plan.” I motioned to our audience of the former brony.
Immediately Jess frowned and crossed her arms. “Oh really?” She hissed. “What does he think?” We both turned to the flabby eighteen years old. He was practically squirming under our gaze.
“Well, his plan’s crazy!” He said.
“Yeah,” I retorted. “But he likes it and he’s joining us. Right buddy boy?”
“Um, well, I, uh,” Peter stammered. A wide grin appeared on my face. I knew he would consider my offer. After all who wouldn’t want a little revenge after what he’s been through?
“See!” I exclaimed. “He’s totally in.”
“No he’s not,” Jess said.
“Oh come on,” I shook my head. “He’s got a score to settle. Right Pete?”
“Well I, let me think about it?” Pete squeaked out.
“See he doesn’t want to go.” Jess said.
“Aw come on man,” I walked over to Pete. “Are you seriously forgetting?” I looked at Jess and pointed at Pete. “This kid has personally met Twilight Sparkle and her lackeys. So he’s been closer to the source of the problem than any of us.” I’m gunna leave out my own meeting with Twilight just to be safe. “He knows what I’m talking about. Come on.” I walked over to Pete and grabbed his arm. “Remember how Twilight Sparkle treated you? She treated you like an inferior. That’s how all ponies treat us. So that’s what I’m gunna do. That’s why I’m gunna go in there and put holes in everything. Join me, Pete. You can be part of the greatest thing to happen in Equestria since Fluttershy got popped.”
“Stop it, Jim!” Jess suddenly spoke up. Before I knew it she had grabbed my free arm and was twisting it. I winced and let go of Pete’s arm and grabbed for my own. Jess let me go after a few painful grunts on my part.
“That hurt.” I grumbled massaging my sore wrist.
“Quiet you.” Jess hissed. She looked at Pete. “Listen Peter, don’t listen to this madman. What he tells you isn’t because he’s looking out for you, it’s because he wants revenge for whatever so badly that he’ll pull anyone down with him. His plan is literally a suicide. Tell me Jim, do you think you’re coming back here alive?” I didn’t answer and Jess smirked. “See,” she pointed at me. “he wants to throw away his life and apparently he doesn’t care whose life he throws after with. Listen, you’re eighteen. You have a lot of your life ahead of you. You haven’t gone off the dead end. Heck neither has Jim really but he on the edge. You’re young and you have more potential than most people here. I know you aren’t crazy. Don’t be like him; he’s just a mean man.”
I know I should be used to Jess’ harsh truths about me but she’s just too honest about me. Was it really that easy to figure that I plan on not surviving? If that’s true then I wonder why the others are tagging along with me. I mean we have to know that it’s hopeless to try and run. I think I’ll ask them later.
“I think the kid’s got the message.” I growled. But she continued.
“Wanna know something about Jim?” Jess asked. “He used to be an anarchist. Yeah he wanted to tear down society, and he could have done it too. Did you know he had Discord ready to help him? Think about it. He had the power to completely usurp control over Equestria, but he was stopped. He even lost three friends. So you know what I think? I think Jim’s after revenge, and he doesn’t care who gets hurt even if they’re on his side. Does that really sound like a man that is trying to help you? Face it, he’s so fixated on revenge he’s lost touch with reality.”
Peter stared at us for a moment. Odd thing was he didn’t look shocked or disgruntled like before. Now he looked confident and almost smug. He clenched his hands.
“You know revenge sounds pretty good actually,” He said surprising both me and Jess. “Don’t get me wrong I see the risk, but that doesn’t bother me. Before I’ve been really gullible, I handed my car over to someone that was shady as all hell. I looked over it because back then I truly believed in the philosophy that the ponies spread. They believe that everything is okay even if it’s not. I thought this was just optimism but it’s not. It’s weakness. Ponies know that humans are better and stronger than them so that’s why they keep us down. They want to see us suffer because they know that if we really tried we’d be the ones on top. I failed college because I didn’t try. Heck I’ve failed life because I didn’t try and only placed my faith into a culture that’s not my own. Well I think it’s time to be human again. Equestria thinks it can hypnotize us with its culture and apparently its sex appeal. It needs to be reminded that humans have never wanted to be controlled. Our history is us resisting something controlling us, just asked any country that has had a revolution. Besides, I’ve been told that the most regretful things in life are not what you do but what you don’t do. If I pass up this opportunity I’ll never know what could have been.”
Both me and Jess stared agape at Pete. I can’t speak for her but I’m just amazed at the transformation. To think that he went from love to hate after one bad encounter is incredible. And he couldn’t have put it better with what he just said. I think that deserves a round of applause.
I started a slow clap and walked towards him. “That a boy,” I said. I put my arm around him. “Trust me, you won’t regret this.”
Jess spoke out. “So you’re really gunna throw your life away?” Pete looked down at the ground. I’m guessing he was still on the ropes about that. Well I’m not letting Jess diminish his confidence. I locked eyes with her.
“I’ll admit that I do have doubts about returning,” I started. “However, we are preparing a lot for this, and with each step we take it looks less like a suicide and more like a walk in the park. We most likely won’t meet too much resistance from any of the club patrons. So that leaves the cops but remember that there are few Equestrian cops that carry guns. The ones that do are mostly rookies and you told me yourself, Jess, that most cops here are rookies.” Jess’ eyes darted away for a quick second, an indication that I had punctured her little bubble of reason. “Point is we probably are gunna be the ones with the most firepower so we basically have the advantage. And I’ve been thinking.” I released my arm from around Pete. “Do you really think that it will be posted on the Equestrian news that in Equestria, a place of moral goodness and purity, a strip club was shot up and pony prostitutes are now dead? As if!”
“Oh my god. You’re right!” Pete exclaimed.
“Of course I’m right!” I smirked pleased with myself. “I am a genius.”
“You sure are.” Jess hissed at us. She looked ready to kill someone. “I guess those drugs must have worked because you’re even more mentally brain damaged than before.”
I grimaced. “You want to know something, Jess?” I muttered suddenly feeling very lost. “I took those drugs to feel good but instead I felt bad. I don’t feel stupid for taking them. I feel scared. Remember how I told you that when people think they lose touch with reality? Well I know I’m crazy but that’s because I’ve been thinking for too long. I’m stuck in this fake reality and I want to escape to the real world, but I can’t. So I’ve been trying to escape to other worlds. Those drugs were supposed to bring me out of my world and drop me somewhere else. Instead I was punished. Guess I’m stuck here.”
I looked at the ground and I noticed something. My feet were firmly placed on floor. It was funny because despite this being true in reality, I know it’s not true at all. I should be floating. I’m so far gone from this Earth that when I come back down my body won’t survive.
“Jim.” Jess suddenly had her hand on my shoulder. “Listen I’ve given you the chance to improve, that was a mistake. But I see now that maybe you need guidance instead of relying on you to change.”
I frowned. “You know you sound like my psychiatrist. I hated that old bitch!” Jess returned my frown.
“Well you need help.” She tightened her grip on my shoulder. “What you need is to spend more time with friends. The experience will get you right in line with reality.”
That made me flick her hand off me. “You sound like some kind of pony conformity program. Did I ever tell you about that time?”
Jess’ hand reached her mouth. “Oh my god. That explains everything. You went to one of those.”
“No.” I shot at her. “I’ve just visited one of them once. But I think it’s a story for another time.” It’s probably best to leave out my Rainbow Dash experience though I bet Pete will want to hear that one. But what pisses me off is that to survive in this world I have to be someone I’m not. I want to be myself, I want to be human. However to be human means I have to lose. I’m not gunna say that’s not fair because when the odds are stacked against you like this then saying it’s not fair is an understatement.
“Well I imagine you probably have something that drove you over.” Jess said her hands now on her hips. “You ever to listen to Drake when he’s talking about his life? Scary shit.” I would love to hear what made him lose touch with reality. He’s a category on his own. “Anyways, back to you. Listen I’m not saying you have to change your lifestyle, behavior, or personality. I’m just saying you have to stop doing this crazy shit, because one day you will hurt yourself and there won’t be anyone that can help you then. Spend some time with people instead of running off to be alone like you have for two months.”
“I’ve survived on my own for years, lady.” I retorted. “But I guess I can tone down a bit.”
“That’s the spirit, Jim.” Jess said. “Do something that’s not stupid. I don’t care what it is. Get a hobby, make art, find God, do something.” She looked at Pete. “You have any suggestions?”
“Well if you wanted to find God.” Peter squirmed around a bit. “You could always go to that church that’s down the road.” I glared at him.
“There’s a church down the road?” I exclaimed. “There’s a church in Equestria?!” I grabbed Pete’s arms. “Answer me damn it!”
“Ah!” He wailed. “It’s about three blocks down the road. Take a left out of here and start walking. It’ll be a place called Equestrian worship of God. I’ve never been there before I just know about it because they were handing out free crackers once.”
“Is it Christian?” I asked. “I’d prefer to visit a Christian establishment, although Muslims are fine too. It better not be Jewish. I hate Jews.”
“Huh?” Pete grunted. He must have caught the last thing I said. “You’re anti-Semitic?”
“What? No.” I brushed it off. “I just grew up with a lot of people that didn’t like Jews. And when I say they didn’t like Jews I mean they made so many negative Jew jokes that I couldn’t go into a Jewish temple with a straight face.”
“Let’s add that to the list.” Jess said. “You’re racist, anti-Semitic, and anti-pony.”
“I think that last one is actually anti-Brony.” I corrected her. I began walking past Pete when I was suddenly yanked back.
“So where are you going?” Jess said with a tight grip on my shoulder.
“To church.” I said nonchalantly.
“Church? Have you ever been to church before? They only open on Sundays.” Jess informed me.
“I think I’ll show up anyways.” I said ripping myself free.
“Um Jim.” Jess stepped in front of me. “What did I just tell you about leaving to be by yourself?”
“Yeah I remember. And I will spend time with people. Tomorrow. Right now I’m going to church.” I tried to walk past her but she blocked my path.
“Do you even know what time it is?” She asked.
“Fuck!” I looked at Pete. “What time is it?”
“Oh uh.” Pete took out a phone. “It’s about ten.”
I scratched my head. “When you’d get a phone?”
“Like forever.” Pete replied. “Which reminds me that I need to get a job soon to pay for it.”
“Good.” Jess pointed at him. “Get a job so you can get on with your life.” She looked at me. “Don’t be like Jim here. He’s been here for about three months and he hasn’t even tried to find a job.”
“Hey don’t bother with a job.” I said to Pete. “There really aren’t that much and the ones that are open only want pony employees. My advice is to be a drug dealer like my two black friends.” I felt an acute pain to my side as Jess jabbed me with her nails.
“Don’t tell him that!” Jess growled through gritted teeth.
“Why the hell not?” I grunted. “The boy deserves to know.”
“Oh please Jim. You’re just feeding him your own prejudices.” Jess shot
“What? No I’m giving him a heads up.” I shot back.
“I think I’m gunna leave before things get too heated.” Pete squeaked and sneaked past us. I didn’t see where he went after that because I was in a staring contest with Jess.
“You’re such a bastard, you know that?” Jess said. “You don’t have a job, you convince others to support your ideals, and you don’t listen to me.”
“I don’t do any of that,” I defended myself. “I mean I totally listen to you. But I don’t do any of that others stuff.”
“Really, because your actions say otherwise,” Jess remarked. “You’re making people that have never done anything violent in their life commit a horrendous crime.”
“Are you crazy?” I growled. “There is no crime in what we’re doing. The real crime is how the ponies put us here. They forced us to live with scraps while they live in luxury hotels not even a mile away. And let’s not forget that they aren’t afraid to use violence themselves when they want. So I see no crime in doing it back to them if they’ve done it first.”
“You realize by that logic that anyone could get away with anything ever.” Jess crossed her arms.
“Aaaah!” I groaned. “It ain’t about getting away. It’s about making an example. So that when those damn pony senators look to why their human population is so angry all the time, they’ll have an example of what happens if you push our species around. Everything feels pain, and everything reacts to pain. This is our reaction.”
“Pain!” Jess growled. “What pain?”
“Pain.” I repeated. “Without love. Pain. I can’t get enough. Pain. I like it rough.”
“What are you talking about?” Jess took a step back.
“Cause I rather feel pain than nothing at all.” I noticed that Jess had conveniently moved away from the exit. “See ya.” I said before vaulting past here and sprinting down the hallway. I was in full sprint, not looking where I was going, when suddenly I slammed right into someone. I know it was a person because I heard them grunt. I fell right back on my ass which hurt really bad.
“Someone’s in a hurry.” I heard Drake laugh. He bent over and picked me up by the collar. It was very uncomfortable.
“I am.” I replied. “Sorry for running into you.”
“Oh I barely felt a thing, Jim.” Drake giggled. “We’re too weak to hurt me. Actually you need to eat more.” He grabbed my wrist. “You’re so skinny.”
I ripped my wrist from out of his grip. “Look who’s talking.” I retorted.
“Oh please I’m thin but I’m all muscle.” Drake bragged. “You on the other hand need to work out more.” He smirked. “Then maybe Jess will stop kicking your ass so much.”
“I let her.” I said. “But it’s not my fault that she has training. I learned how to fight on the street.”
“Probably had your face down the whole the time.” Drake joked.
“Let’s see you fight three guys bigger and stronger than you and come out on top! I dare ya!” I exploded.
“Alright fair enough.” He nodded.
“By the way, where were you all day?” I asked.
“Oh just sightseeing. And by that I mean stalking people.” Drake smirked.
“Thinking of murdering someone?” I asked.
“Oh I’m always thinking about that.” Drake giggled. “But lately I’ve been looking for a place to hide.”
“Hide?” That caught me off guard. “Hide from what?”
“Come on Jim.” Drake crossed his arms. “You think that we’re gunna be safe after what’s gunna go down? Equestria will crackdown hard on us humans after this. They did it in New Canterlot after Fluttershy got shot, so they’ll do it here. I’m just looking for a place to lay low.”
“Then why not here?” I asked. “This place is plenty safe.”
“Sure it is.” Drake agreed. “But when the crackdown comes they’ll look for places where humans are gathered the most. They’ll looked for humans with records and let’s just say there are a lot of people here with records. Jess included.”
“Oh right.” I nodded. “She told me about her debt. I see. So after this the ponies are gunna come for revenge.” I shrugged. “Guess that leaves us with one solution.”
“I know what you’re thinking, Jim.” Drake said. “I for one am hiding after this blows over. I’ve survived this long as a serial killer by lying low and not being too cocky. If you were smart you would too.”
“Eh.” I grumbled. “I’ve lived my life hiding for too long. I rather die than go back to that. So thanks for the heads-up but I’ve made my decision.”
I began to walk past him but he grabbed my arm. “One more thing.” Drake looked down the hallway and then back at me. “It’s been on my mind for a while but, when are you and Jess gunna fuck?”
I was taken aback by the comment. Not because it was wrong but because I was thinking the same thing. “What?” I croaked out.
Drake let go of my arm and put his hands in his pockets. “I was just wondering. You guys hang out a lot and she comes to your rescue a lot, like today. Everyone’s wondering it. I just have the balls to say it to your face.”
I frowned. “Well thanks for having the courage to speak to me, but tell everyone else that if they want to talk behind me back then I’ll talk behind them.” I hate it when people talk behind my back. It reminds me of high school. “Also I’m not really planning on getting it on with her.”
“Why not?” Drake cocked his head.
“Just not on my list.” I shrugged. “I’m too preoccupied with this whole pony ordeal that I don’t want to think about getting it on. Besides I don’t have a chance with her.”
“Bro, you got a better chance than anyone else here.” Drake said. I know he’s trying to be helpful but he’s pissing me off. There is no way I’m gunna even try. A bitch ain’t worth it now.
“Why do you care?” I glared at him. “You’re a little faggot.”
“So?” Drake shrugged. “I’m just looking out for you, little man. I know that you think we won’t make it back after the shootout, but I still have hope. And besides it would be a shame if you wasted all this time without at least getting to second base with her.”
“Alright you know what?” I snapped. “I’ll discuss this with you later. In the meantime I’m going somewhere.”
“Alright Jim.” Drake said. “But seriously consider what I said. You’re probably mad because you have some tension you need to relieve. Well, if you know what I mean.”
“Whatever you say, Drake.” I turned around and began walking away. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“Where you going?” He called after me.
I opened the door. “To become a saint.” I yelled before leaving.