How Piccolo Became a Brony: A prequel to How Vegeta Became a Brony.
The fighting tournament was in just one day and none of us were prepared. We were using the same old warm ups, training methods, and stretches all week. I can do about fifty reps without even breaking a sweat. The worst part about it was when Goku would count all of his reps out loud.
"Is there anybody else getting sick of these exercises?" I asked.
"We have to keep practicing if we want to win the big tournament." Gohan said rubbing a towel on the back of his neck.
"It just doesn't seem to be as effective as it used to be." I said folding my arms.
"What's the matter? Is this training too tough for you?" Vegeta asked tauntingly.
"Actually I was looking for more of a challenge." I said. Goku and Krillin exchanged glances. Out of nowhere they howled with laughter.
"What's so funny, Kakorot? I will be the one laughing when I throw your butt out of the ring tomorrow." Vegeta said arrogantly.
"Give me a break. You're more likely to find eight Dragon Balls than win against Goku." Krillin said.
"But I thought there were only seven Dragon Balls." Vegeta said.
"Give it a minute to sink in." Gohan said. The two fools couldn't compose themselves long enough to tell us what all the laughing was about. Goku started digging through his gym bag. Krillin peeked over his shoulder and giggled. Goku hushed him.
"Here's a video that will teach you some of the hardest combat moves. Although some of these might be too tough for even you to master." Goku said. I don't enjoy being belittled. So I snatched the DVD out of his hands.
"Take it easy, Piccolo." Gohan said.
"Give me that! Unlike you I take my training very seriously. I don't want to waste any more time with you slackers." I said. For some reason that just made them laugh harder. Vegeta randomly punched Krillin in the face. Krillin doubled over in pain.
"Ow! What was that for?" Krillin moaned.
"I just got that eighth Dragon Ball joke. What do you mean by that?" Vegeta asked letting his temper get the best of him again.
"Sheesh, Vegeta. Lighten up. It was just a joke." Krillen said. As entertaining as it would have been to watch Vegeta blow a fuse, I decided that I needed to learn those secret moves for the tournament.
As soon as I got home I put the DVD in. I was preparing to push my body to the limit with a new training video. Instead, a bunch of neon horses prance across the screen. None of these brightly colored ponies looked like they landed a single punch in their entire lives. At first I thought Goku put the pony DVD in the case by mistake. It didn't take me very long to realize that it was another one of their practical jokes. But what would Goku be doing with a My Little Pony DVD. He wouldn't waste his money on a pony DVD for the soul purpose of pranking me, would he? Why would Goku enjoy something as infantile as a show with the target audience of five year old girls? I didn't really care enough to find out. I popped out the DVD and opened up the garbage can.
"You're going to throw me away?" A soft voice asked. What was that? I hope she didn't see me looking at ponies a couple of minutes ago. A pastel yellow pony with wings peeked out of her hiding spot with sad blue eyes.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I'm… I'm Fluttershy." The pony said hiding behind her light pink mane. I could hardly hear a word she said.
"Go back to wherever you came from!" I shout. Fluttershy squeaked. Her ears went down to the side of her head as she flew behind the couch. I couldn't believe I was talking to a horse.
"Please don't throw me away." Fluttershy said.
"Fine." I said putting the DVD back in. Her tail was sticking out from behind the couch. "You could come out now." I said.
She slowly came out and sat on the couch. "You don't seem like such a bad guy, Mr. Green Monster." Fluttershy said staring at my antennas.
"I'm not a monster. I'm a namekian." I said feeling slightly offended.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Fluttershy mumbled staring at the ground.
"Don't get too comfortable. We're only going to watch one episode." I said.
"Yay!" Fluttershy said in the most pathetic cheer I've ever heard in my life. That lasted for about five minutes. I was going to turn it off, but I lost the remote. Ok I'm lying. I didn't lose the remote. By the time the fifth episode came on Fluttershy fell asleep on my lap. That's when it hit me that there's more to life than fighting. All I ever did with my friends was train. Things were different in My Little Pony. Everypony is treated kindly no matter what they looked like. Although I wish there were other green ponies besides Granny Smith. How on earth could I have remembered her name? This pony obsession was getting out of control.
A little meditation would clear the thoughts of ponies out of my head. I'd be right back to the tough warrior I used to be in no time. I closed my eyes and tried to fill my mind with hardcore thoughts.
"Um, excuse me. Mr. Namekian?" Fluttershy asked tapping me with her hoof. She snapped me out of my meditation.
"What?!" I asked feeling disappointed that this wasn't all some kind of a dream. It was about to get a whole lot worse. Apparently while I was meditating, Fluttershy let every woodland creature and their mother into my yard. It looked just like a zoo. There were flamingos, otters, seals, and even toucans.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"I was trying to meditate. My name's not Mr. Namekian. It's Piccolo." I said as a bunny hops across the floor.
" I'll call you Piccolo. If that's okay with you. I hope you don't mind my friends coming to visit at such short notice. The poor little thing broke his wing just three months ago." Fluttershy said stroking a robin with her hoof.
"I'm going to get something to eat. You better get all these vermin out of here by the time I get back. Do you hear me?" I asked slamming the door.
I stopped at a nearby restaurant that sells Eggrolls. The sayans are always talking about how good the food is here. It would be a good thing to keep my mind off of ponies. The very second I walked in the door I heard people shrieking.
"A monster!" The waitress screamed dropping a stack of plates on the ground.
"Would everypony- I mean everybody get a grip?" I ask.
"Get out of my restaurant! You're going to scare away all my costumers!" The manager said. I guess that's the thanks I get for helping Goku save the world. He's always the one getting all the credit.
"You got thrown out too, I see." The Supreme Kai said showing up out of nowhere.
"Yeah." I sighed.
"I sense that you have a very deep dark secret inside of you." The little lavender twerp said. I hate it when he tries to read my mind all the time. I just wish for one second he would mind his own business.
"Can't I have any privacy?" I asked.
"You like ponies. Am I right?" He said taking away my last shred of dignity. Now he'll go blabbing it out to the world. I might as well have kissed my masculinity goodbye with some pretty lip gloss.
"Yeah, well you wear girly earrings!" I said twitching my antenna.
"There's no need to be ashamed." The Supreme Kai said with a big smirk on his face. I clench my fist. Before I get a chance to knock his brains out he bumps my fist with his. "Brohoof!" He said.
"What the heck is that?" I asked moving my hand away.
"I suppose Fluttershy hasn't taught you as much as Zecora taught me." He said.
"Are you going to help me, or are you going to laugh at me some more?" I asked.
"Here's some Sensue Beans. You'll be needing them after the tournament tomorrow. Try to get some rest, Piccolo." He said.
The next day Goku beat Vegeta in a close match at the tournament. If Vegeta wasn't such a hot head and used some strategy he would win for once. He would stop at absolutely nothing to defeat Goku just once. Goku walked humbly out of the ring.
"Hey, Piccolo! How was the training?" Goku asked winking at Krillin. Krillin fell out of his seat from laughing so hard.
"That video was a waste of time! I'm never borrowing anything from you again." I said trying not to blow my cover. I swallowed a lump in my throat. Tienn was waiting for me at the ring. I could see Fluttershy hiding in the back of the crowd.
The referee rang the bell. He ran up and swung his foot at me. I quickly blocked it with my elbow and punched him in the jaw. Tienn flinches. Fluttershy hovers over me. Nobody else seemed to see her.
"You aughta be ashamed of yourself." Fluttershy pouted putting her hooves on her hips. She flew in between us. "That's not nice. Tell him you're sorry." Fluttershy yelled narrowing her light blue eyes at me.
"He signed a contract saying he was willing to get maimed for these peoples' entertainment. Besides, he tried to hit me first." I said.
"Well two wrongs don't make a right." Fluttershy said bitterly.
"We're in the middle of a tournament." I said as Tienn got up off the ground.
"What's this? It appears that Piccolo is talking to himself." The announcer said.
"I don't care. You hurt that poor little three eyed man. Now what do you have to say for yourself?" Fluttershy asked.
"I'm sorry." I said reluctantly to Tienn. He seemed to be very surprised.
"Um, Who were you talking to?" Tienn asked kicking me.
"The yellow pony right in front of you. How can't you see her? You have three eyes!" I yelled. Tienn grabbed me by my cape and punched me in the torso.
"Did he just say what I think he just said?" Krillen asked.
"Why isn't he fighting back? He's going to get creamed out there if this keeps up." Gohan said.
"Beats me. Maybe it's because he didn't use the old techniques." Goku said.
"You're freaking me out." Tienn said kicking me.
"Oooh! That is one hard kick to the face. I don't know folks. Tien might have this fight in the bag." The announcer said.
"What are you waiting for? Punch his lights out!" Vegeta shouted over the crowd. Bulma puts a Sensue Bean in his mouth to shut him up.
"Honey, hold still." Bulma said.
"Why can't you enter nice tournaments like the 'Who Could Stay Quiet the Longest Tournament' or something?" Fluttershy asked distracting me from the fight again.
"You're really off your game today." Tienn said kicking me in the shin and blasting me with a yellow ball of light. I calmly walked out of the ring. The audience gasped.
"Piccolo has forfeited the match without even landing a single punch. Tien will be going on to the next round." History was made. This was one of the first time a fight lasted less than one episode. I have to say it was pretty embarrassing. I really can't complain though. I could have turned into a monkey and woke up completely naked like the other sayans have.
"You happy now, Fluttershy?!" I asked.
"Yes." Fluttershy said quietly as she flapped her feathery wings. After listening to ten minutes of people hounding me for quitting the match, Goku beat Tienn in the next round. I predicted that was going to happen.
"I can't believe he actually watched the show." Krillin whispered to Goku as he admired his new trophy.
"I guess we have one more member in our herd." Gohan said.
"Now all we have to do is get Vegeta to join us." Goku said.
"Yeah, like that'll ever happen." Krillin said.