Berry Punch sat on her couch, reading a book and sipping a bottle of whiskey. All was surprisingly quiet and tranquil, something the mare had not expected from her new roommate. Nikolai had not made a peep for the past half-hour, so the pony decided that she would get some reading in.
She would never admit it publicly, but she loved Daring Do books. Yes, they may be for younger audiences, but the adventures of the pegasus explorer excited and enticed the drinking earth pony. Rainbow Dash was more open about her love for the series, but she was also in denial that the series was for young colts and fillies. Despite anypony who told her otherwise, Rainbow was adamant about this fact.
The earth pony was jolted out of focus from her reading by a knock at her door. She let out an audible sigh, annoyed by her sudden interruption. Nevertheless, she trotted over to the door and opened it.
Speak of the devil, Rainbow Dash stood on the other side, an irritated expression etched on her face.
"Oh, hi Rainbow Dash! What's up?"
Rainbow Dash glanced behind Berry, peering into her house. The irritation on her face changed to minor surprise.
"Wow, your house is a dump!" Rainbow blurted. "I mean. . . Hi, Berry!"
Berry's smile twisted into a frown. "Gee, thanks."
Rainbow snapped back to what she came her for. "Anyway, have you seen Nikolai around lately?"
Oh, this is what she came here for. Berry mentally kicked herself for not realizing sooner. She began to quickly think of an excuse for why Nikolai wouldn't be hiding in her attic.
"No, I, uh, haven't seen him since we went drinking last night. I wonder where he could be? It's not like I keep track of him or anything. . . Heh."
Rainbow did not look convinced. "I'm coming in."
"Uh, uh," Berry smiled and shut the door in Rainbow's face.
"She's hiding something, or someone," Rainbow said to herself.
. . .
"Is everything OK, Berry?" Came a voice from the attic. "Nikolai heard Rainbow Hair in the background."
"Uh," Berry started. "I think you've already been found out."
"What!?" Nikolai screamed. "It hasn't even been a day yet!"
"I know!"
"I thought you knew what you were doing!"
"I forgot!"
"Well, I'm screwed!"
"Why are we yelling!?"
"I don't know!"
"Well, let's stop, OK!?"
"OK!"
Nikolai walked downstairs, groaning all the way. "Forget it, I'll go get my execution out of the way. Nikolai hopes they will have vodka for their last meal selection."
"Oh, quit being dramatic," Berry smiled, rolling her eyes. "Execution hasn't been legal in Equestria for thousands of years," She was telling the truth. Not even Discord and Sombra had legalized execution under their rule, with Discord just not being that cruel and Sombra preferring life as a slave than death. "The only reason I panicked was that I didn't want any part of this drama. You might get hauled back to Canterlot, where Twilight will let Celestia deal with you, and Celestia will let you off the hook."
"Oh, so it's a fate worse than death."
Berry laughed. "You're such a drama queen."
"Well, I guess I'll just-" Nikolai went to the door, but was stopped from opening it by a sound coming from below the house. It sounded like a faint thump that was growing closer and closer.
"Do you hear that?" Nikolai asked Berry.
"Yes," Berry frowned. "And I hope it isn't what I think it is."
The sound of wood boards suddenly flying in different directions confirmed Berry's suspicions.
"HI! I finally found you! You're good at hide and seek!"
Pinkie had busted in through the floor, her head peeking out at Nikolai with a sly grin. Berry looked at the hole in her floor and facehoofed. Nikolai appeared terrified by Pinkie's sudden appearance, coupled by the fact that she was able to predict everything spot-on.
"So, are you here to take me to Twilight?" Nikolai asked, kneeling in defeat and holding out his hands. "I surrender."
Pinkie cocked her head. "What? No, silly! It's your turn to look for me."
And without another word or hesitation, Pinkie leapt onto the floor, creating yet another hole, and dug away.
"Are you serious!?" Berry gestured at the second hole. "Come on!"
"I guess I'll play her little game," Nikolai admitted. He then flopped all of his weight onto the floor below him, creating yet another hole in the floor.
Berry sighed. "I need a bucking drink."
. . .
"It's showtime!"
Dempsey was running on the stage with his M16, keeping a large zombie train occupied while Takeo and Richtofen were off doing their own things.
Several rounds had passed, with no attempt at saving Nikolai. Takeo was arming up after some bad luck with the box, and Richtofen was searching for meteorite fragments. Dempsey wondered how long they would take. He was getting a good cardio workout right now, that was for sure.
Suddenly, a guitar solo began to play, causing Dempsey to look around for the source. There was none. The music was literally coming out if thin air.
The doors to the dressing room suddenly flew open, revealing Richtofen doing the chicken dance to the music.
"I love musical Easter eggs! They tickle my special place!" He shouted over the hard rock.
Dempsey ran by, still training his horde. "I bet that's not the only thing you let tickle your special place!" He mocked. Unfortunately for Richtofen, Dempsey had sprinted away too fast. The zombies that had chased Dempsey now shifted to Richtofen, eyeing the newer, closer source of meat.
"NEIN!" Richtofen screamed. "I HATE YOU DEMPSHEY!" The German quickly found himself downed, and the zombies turned back to Dempsey, who quickly wiped them out. He ran up to the downed doctor, and a syringe appeared in his hands.
"Can you inject it into my inner thigh? Please?" The doctor begged.
Dempsey rolled his eyes, and injected it into his arm.
"You're no fun," Richtofen frowned as he stood back up.
"Whatever, I only revived you because I needed the points."
Richtofen opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off by a Ray Gun blast. A third human walked onto the stage, a small smile on his lips.
"That's the second map in a row that the box gave you a Ray Gun," Richtofen jealously frowned.
"My ancestors are arming the honorable with the best weapons," Takeo grinned. He nodded at the other two. "You must improve your discipline."
"Anyway," Dempsey changed the subject, turning back to Edward. "How is the saving Nikolai thing going?"
The German rolled his eyes. "Saving your friend from another dimension takes time, Dempshey. Verdammt, you're stupid."
"We haven't done anything for a few rounds. We should be coming up with plans, not let the zombies keep coming!" Dempsey insisted. "I say we-"
"American," Takeo cut off.
Dempsey turned to Takeo. "Yes?"
"We should be more concerned with our survival first. We cannot rescue the dishonorable Russian if we die. We should get prepared first."
"But, but, you have a Ray Gun."
"Yes, I am ready," the Japanese man assured. "But General McDerp over there is not."
Richtofen muttered something in German that neither understood.
Dempsey turned back to Takeo. "I know you and Nikolai don't get along, why are you helping us?"
"Honor."
"Come again?"
"Honor."
"But why do you insist on maintaining your honor?"
"Because honor is honorable."
Dempsey frowned. "I am surrounded by lunatics," he muttered as Richtofen skipped over to the Juggernog machine.
. . .
Bon Bon sat alone on a park bench, listening to the tranquil sound of birds chirping and the friendly chatter of townsfolk. It was a bright, sunny morning, with a rain scheduled for tomorrow. The atmosphere was one of peace and quiet.
She hated it.
Lyra's arrest had turned the relatively rational earth pony's life into a boring one. The mint green unicorn, annoying as she was, had made Bon Bon's life so unpredictable that it was actually exciting, though she would never say it to Lyra.
But, trying to "unhand" a human was a crime. Lyra had gone way too far off the deep end. At least Colgate was still sane. Maybe the two of them could hang out more often. She smiled at the thought.
She was jutted from her thoughts by rumbling earth below her. Something was coming. Something big.
The earth near her suddenly became a hole that was soon filled by Nikolai's head. He scanned around, as if looking for something specific. When he caught eye of Bon Bon, he gave her a smile.
"Hey, you," he paused, trying to remember her name. "Candy pony. Have you seen Pinkie Pie?"
"Umm. . . No?"
"OK, sorry for wasting your time then."
Before Bon Bom could get out another word, the drunk Russian disappeared into the hole again, and more digging was heard. Bon Bon could only wonder how he was digging so efficiently with his bare hands. The pony then shrugged and went about her day.
Nikolai popped up in town, once again looking around for Pinkie. His eyes froze on a bouncing pink figure heading straight for Twilight's Library. Nikolai, having the attention span of a goldfish, soon followed, forgetting that he should be staying away from Twilight. Pinkie entered the library, without a moment's hesitation.
"Ha, Nikolai is stalking pink pony. Pink pony cannot hide!"
He threw open the door, revealing only an angry Twilight.
"Oh. Crap. Nikolai forgot."
"Nikolai, you sure made this difficult, didn't you?"
"I don't know, what do you think?" He quipped.
Twilight rolled her eyes. He reminded her so much of Pinkie. "Listen, I was going to lecture you on how to behave, but Rainbow Dash reminded me that I have flight lessons with her, and she wanted to know if you would come."
"Rainbow Hair teaches you how to fly? I thought you knew."
Twilight began having flashbacks if her many crash landings. Her face winced just thinking about them.
"Are you OK, Twilight? You look constipated. Nikolai suggests some laxatives."
"Huh?" Twilight shook her head, coming out of her thoughts. "No, I'm good. We should get going, the train to Canterlot will be leaving soon."
"OK, lead the-" Nikolai was stopped by his own thinking. "Wait a second, I just thought of something."
"What, exactly?"
"We just came back from Canterlot this morning. Why are we already going back?"
Twilight had not thought about this before, but she quickly realized that Nikolai was right. She had gotten so distracted by his attempt at revolution, that she had forgotten the other reason she had come to Canterlot. The Summer Sun Celebration was almost here, and the Ponyville Princess had been summoned to Canterlot to be with Celestia and Luna. Nikolai's presence was meant to be there too, as the princesses wanted to get to know him.
"I guess in this whole fiasco, I forgot that we were supposed to be there for the Summer Sun Celebration."
"Summer Sun Celebration? Oh, don't tell me I have to be there."
Twilight sighed, her anger drained. "I'm afraid so. It was on the princesses' behalf, not mine. Celestia's intentions were for you to mingle with the ponyfolk at the main event."
"So, the last chapter had absolutely no purpose in driving the plot whatsoever?"
Twilight shrugged. "Basically."
"Well, I feel bad now."
Twilight managed a small smile. "Don't worry about it," she then dropped her grin and turned serious, "But we need to round up our friends, they probably want to see us off."
Nikolai nodded. "Yes, of course. I'll go inform Pink Pony and Fluttershy."
Spike came down the stairs, having heard the entire conversation. "Are we going back, Twilight?"
Twilight turned to Spike, smiling at the dragon. "We have to, Spike. Celestia and Luna need us to be there. There's no way out of it."
Spike knew Twilight was being reasonable, and have a shrug. "Alright, I guess I'll go tell Rarity," he grinned, happy that he would see his crush again.
Nikolai silently thought of what dragon-pony foals would look like, sincerely interested about it. Maybe one day Spike's charm will get Rarity to fall for him. He inwardly chuckled, that would be a surprise. Maybe Richtofen would experiment on them.
Shortly after, the group had come together again at the train station, just as they had before. Some ponies that were there before eyed them with confusion and suspicion. After all, they had departed for Canterlot just this morning, and hadn't returned by train. The ponies paid no mind to the attention they gathered, and simply chatted among themselves as they boarded the train. Nikolai, the last in line, turned back and glared at the ponies, who quickly glanced away awkwardly.
"I swear," Nikolai muttered as the doors shut and he took a seat next to Spike. "If I see another pony stare at me, it will be too soon."
Spike remained optimistic. "Eh, don't worry about it. You'll fit in soon. After all, they accept me now, and I'm a dragon."
Nikolai pondered this. "Yes, but dragons are natives of this world, no?"
Spike nodded. "Yeah, but how-"
"And humans aren't, correct?"
"Uh, right, but-"
"Nikolai's just saying, at least they know what to expect. They know nothing about me. . . Except Pinkie, but she's psycho."
Spike shrugged. "Believe what you want. But this is Equestria, cause no trouble and you'll fit right in."
"What about the communist uprising?"
"Celestia will forgive you for that, trust me."
Twilight and Applejack trotted back to the two non-ponies.
"Howdy, Nikolai."
"Uh, howdy, pard'ner," Nikolai put on the best cowboy accent he could, which sounded like a drunken Russian trying to sound like an American. Quite frankly, it was insulting.
"You know, ah' speak Equestrian' just fine."
"Equestrian? Sounds exactly like English, but what are the odds of that?"
Twilight reached into a saddlebag and pulled out a calculator, causing Nikolai to put a hand to his forehead.
"No, it's rhetorical. Waitress!" He flagged down the server pony, who rolled her way over there.
"Do you have any vodka?" He asked. She replied with a nod. "Good, go fetch me some," he dismissed rudely. She huffed and sped off.
"So, will I need to actually help with anything?" Nikolai questioned the princess. "Nikolai is tired of helping."
"Well, no, just don't say something in front of Celestia that you would regret, and be very careful around Luna, her self-esteem hasn't been so great since the whole Nightmare Moon incident."
"Wait, she had a nightmare where she got mooned?"
Twilight facehoofed. "No, forget it. I'll explain later," she promised as Nikolai's drink arrived. He immediately uncapped the bottle and gulped it down, causing the waitress to gasp in shock. Twilight was covering Spike's eyes, despite the fact that Spike had witnessed drinking before.
Eventually, the train arrived in Canterlot, and the eight travelers stepped out of the train for the second time that day.
"Alright!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she hovered in the air. "Time to see what you're made of, Twilight!" She bursted ahead of the group, heading above the many large buildings in the mountainside city. The other seven were left in the dust to catch up.
. . .
Finally, the group managed to arrive at the park, where Rainbow Dash glared at them.
"Finally," she scoffed. "What took you guys so long?"
"Um, you kinda abandoned us," Fluttershy admitted.
Rainbow Dash floated down until she was back on the ground. "Oh, right," she then turned to Twilight specifically. "Alright, let's get these puppies in the air!"
The two began to flap their way upwards, Rainbow Dash flawlessly soaring while Twilight struggled to get high in the air.
"You gotta really flap 'em hard!" Rainbow offered a tip. Twilight nodded and put on a brave face. The alicorn strained herself and flapped her wings with all of her might, only to crash right into a tree. Nikolai couldn't help himself and burst into sharp laughter.
"Nikolai, that's not nice. She's still learning," Fluttershy scolded.
The drunk Russian wiped a tear from his eye and shut himself up, but he was still grinning. Twilight was still struggling in the air, and she began to fall to the ground like an aircraft shot out of the sky.
Applejack trotted over to her friend and offered a well-intentioned "Lookin' good up there Princess Twilight!"
Twilight shook off her crash landing and smiled at her friend. "Applejack, you know you don't have to call me that."
Rarity stepped forward. "Why do you protest so? You've already given up wearing your crown all the time, the least you can do is embrace your new title."
Twilight shrunk back slightly. "If other ponies want to address me that way, I suppose it's fine. But, not my friends, it just doesn't feel right," she glanced to her backside at her wings. "And neither does all this flying business. The Summer Sun Celebration is only two days away, and at this rate I'm never going to be able to perform my part."
"Eh, drink vodka, it always solves my problems," Nikolai offered, actually trying to give good advice.
"Not if you spend all your time down here, you won't!" Rainbow Dash encouraged, ignoring Nikolai's suggestion. "Now get out there and show everypony the big finish!"
Twilight managed another determined face, spread her wings, and flew. It started out well enough, with Twilight soaring well into the sky. Then she saw the clouds, smashing into the three of them, she then screamed as she fell from the sky, gaining just enough wingpower to keep from crashing. However, she then did a loop and crashed head-first into the ground.
Nikolai pretended to pull out a radio. "Commissar, this is Nikolai, we have a downed horse, repeat, a downed horse. Searching for survivors, over and out," he glanced up to see Fluttershy giving him 'The Stare', causing the drunk Russian to go silent.
"Wow, that was a big finish!" Pinkie cheered, earning a groan from the injured Twilight.
. . .
It had been agreed that Twilight's flying practice was finished after that, and the eight made their way to the castle. As they made their way down the large, empty hall, they noticed a new, stained-glass window, showing Twilight becoming a princess. The ponies all stared in awe, the only ones unimpressed being Nikolai and Twilight.
"You look amazing, darling! They really captured your regality," Rarity swooned over the art. Twilight was visibly uncomfortable. It wasn't like her to be in the spotlight like this.
"I suppose."
"Oh, don't be so modest, it's everypony's dream to wear a crown and have their coronation ceremony preserved in stained glass for all to see!"
"I don't know if it's everypony's dream," Rainbow Dash commented.
"Most of my dreams are about frosting!" Pinkie drooled, fantasizing over the substance. The other seven could only give confused glances.
"We better get going, we don't want to miss our train," Fluttershy spoke up as she remembered what time it was.
"Fluttershy's right, ah' still have bushels to do to get ready. The official celebration may be in Canterlot, but hoo-wee has the mayor put us in charge of one heck of a party back home!"
Twilight looked disappointed when she realized that it was already time to depart with her friends. Nikolai and Spike made her way over to her, and the baby dragon did what he could to reassure her.
Applejack was a pony with a good heart, however, and she trotted over to the princess. "Oh, don't worry, sugarcube, you get to be with all of the other princesses as Celestia raises the sun."
"And I'm honored, really, I am. It's just, the Summer Sun Celebration is what brought us all together, spending it apart just doesn't feel right."
"It doesn't feel right to us either, darling," Rarity began. "If the mayor wasn't in such desperate need for our help, we'd most certainly stay here in Canterlot with you. And of course we know that your royal duties must come first."
"The Summer Sun Celebration was what brought us together, but it is something much bigger that will always keep us together. Exhibit A!" Applejack gestured at another stained-glass window, showing six ponies with strange amulets on around their necks. "The six of us are united by the elements of harmony, no amount of royal duties is going to change that. Right everypony?" The others nodded in agreement. "Right, Pinkie Pie?" Applejack questioned the party pony, who was still off in her imagination.
"Creamy creamy frosting," Pinkie drooled as Fluttershy wiped her mouth with a cloth.
"You should take that as a yes," Fluttershy confirmed, causing everyone in the room, even Nikolai, to smile.
"Why does this seem like an exposition scene?" Nikolai questioned Spike, who simply shrugged.
. . .
The train horn blared loudly in the distance, signaling its eminent departure.
"We're going to write you and give you so many details, it will be like you're in Ponyville yourself!" Pinkie promised. "Right girls?"
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," the others recited simultaneously.
Spike leaned over and whispered in Nikolai's ear. "Lame code if you ask me."
"Agreed."
"And you will be with us right after the celebration, we already have a plan to upgrade your loft with more royal decor."
"ALL ABOARD FOR PONYVILLE!" The conductor announced.
The friends all pulled each other in for a tight hug, a sight that made even Nikolai go "D'aww!" Eventually, the friends had to let go, despite none of them wanting to. Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie soon found themselves on the train, waving goodbye to the princess, Spike, and Nikolai. Twilight sighed.
"I can't help it, guys. They've only been gone a minute and it already feels like I'm missing something."
Suddenly, a mail-pegasus flew by, dropping a letter into Spike's hands and quickly explained. "Message for the princess!"
Spike opened up the letter and read it for Twilight. "Dear Twilight, you aren't missing anything. Love, Pinkie Pie."
All three couldn't help but crack a smile at Pinkie's impossibly speedy letter delivery.