//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: Super Speedy Robot Rampage 6000 // Story: King Sombra's Robotic Retaliation [CANCELLED] // by Darrtaa //------------------------------// Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of the characters, nor do I own Team Fortress 2 or any of its characters. I do, however, own Copper Head. Frosty Winds belongs to TheBobulator. "This is stupid," Frosty Winds said with a heavy sigh as the armored pegasus finished his report all the while trying to catch his breath. Frosty squinted slightly as the harsh desert sun gleamed brightly off of the soldier's polished golden armor. The glaring sun coupled with the infrequent gusts created hot wind that blew dirt and sand into every crack and crevasse…and not just in the aging buildings that had been erected when the first ponies settled Appleloosa. The settler town had seen its fair share of hardships; countless droughts, sickness, disputes with the local tribes of buffalo, and now it was swiftly approaching its first encounter with a humanoid robot army. The bleak, orange wasteland was not camo-friendly for the teal Frosty Winds and her shiny prosthetic left foreleg, because of this, she was forced away from her preferred scouting position. Normally, she would have donned some black fatigues to match the black cap hiding her spiky white and blue mane, but the teal pegasus would rather NOT die of heatstroke just to make her snow cloud Cutie Mark a little less visible. "There's more; I spotted an abnormal group breaking off from the main robot forces. If I had to guess I'd say they might be regrouping with another platoon planing to strike us from the south." Frosty took a quick look around with her emerald eyes before rhythmically bonking her forehead against the table she had placed her maps upon. "Oh yeah, because attacking from one side wasn't already- wait. What do you mean 'abnormal group'?" The pegasus, who had removed his helmet and was busy wiping his brow, snapped back at attention. "That's just my take on it. I only spotted them as they were disappearing into the canyons and I was already heading back out of sight. Their snipers are more effective than I'd care to admit…" the scout unfolded his wings to reveal singed feathers and bloodied bandages along his sides. Frosty's wings gave a sympathy twitch. "Right right right. Uh, how long until you think we have until those walking trashcans arrive?" "An hour, maybe two if Heavy-bot is driving," came a tired, female voice as another gust of wind swept the dust around the owner's mint-green hooves, still dripping with freshly spilt oil as was the splattered cow skull. "Pyra?! If you're here, then that means things really ARE as bad as I thought." "They're worse, actually." She shook sweat and oil from her mane and mask, her lungs still burning a hole in her chest from her last encounter with the bots not long ago. Pyra really wasn't sure what to tell Frosty. She looked around from one tired pony family to the next; some of them had never left their respective towns, let alone travel all the way to Appleloosa with bloodthirsty robots hot on their trail, only to have somepony wearing a cow skull tell them that they'd have to pack up and keep running until they finally made it to Canterlot…or until the bots caught up with them. Pyra had to tell them, they had to know. "Moon to Pyra? Moooon to Pyra. You in there?" Frosty said after a long moment of silence. "We…we need to get these ponies out of here. Now." "Wh-what?! Now? Pyra, we JUST got here less than an hour ago. Shouldn't the Wonderbolts be clearing out the path anyway?" In her mind, Frosty knew that wasn't true. The Wonderbolts hadn't strayed far from Cloudsdale in their fleeting attempts to purge any and all mechanical threats that might breach the floating city, saying that they might out loud not only brought a false sense of hope to anypony who might be listening but helped her stay focused that she couldn't relay on them to just show up and save the day. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to get everypony here in the first place? I don’t have the logistical knowledge to do this again! Pyra, I don’t remember the last time I slept. I’m tired. We’re tired.” Frosty gestured at the equally bedraggled pegasus standing beside her. “And I’m the one that got sworded, so I’m going to be that pony and say that it's best of we continue to bolster our position here and not-" "ROBOTS! ROBOTS SPOTTED ON THE HILLSIDE!" the sentry's voice rang out over the dry town. "-run like we stole something. Everypony! This is what we've been waiting for! If we hold them here, we can rest easy tonight, and tomorrow, we arrive at Canterlot! After that, I'm thinking Pony Joe's!" The roar from the gathered fighters wasn't as booming as either mare had hoped, but they still held their heads high as they headed to where the bots would be coming in from while everypony not fit enough to fight rushed to fortify what they could. As she flew, Frosty noticed something bouncing along on Pyra's back. It looked like a worn-out bronze shield with four domes placed around a larger center one and a spike on top. "Stop me if you've heard this one, but shouldn't that shield be a bit larger…and in front of you to be of any-" "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAA!!!" Pyra became a blur, surging forward faster than any pony Frosty had ever seen on land, the air behind the charging unicorn bending and swirling in a trail of raw power. Pyra swung her head to the left and made a sharp turn before slamming hard against an invisible wall with a thunderous crash that sounded almost like cheering. Frosty was so amazed that she almost didn't notice the now very visible Spy-bot leaking something similar to what had been splashed along Pyra's hooves earlier as it sputtered from the fresh puncture wound left in its chest before being tossed aside like a trash bag. Frosty landed beside her, but went unnoticed. Pyra was too focused on the line of robots swiftly making their way toward her to say anything while her brain raced to come up with a scenario that didn't end with her becoming a trophy for some mechanical murderer. "And here I was using the 'kick up dust and swing wildly' method. How'd you do that anyway?" Pyra shook her head, realizing that there was somepony talking to her. "It's all thanks to the Splendid Screen- er, my shield. It lets me 'charge' for a short distance and makes me hit REALLY hard. I had Twilight look at it once, but she said she couldn't sense anything magical in nature about it, even when I was using it." "Hm. You sure it's safe to use, then?" Pyra smirked under her mask. "You saw what it did to that Spy, dangerous or not it does what I need it to…although, I'm not sure it'll be enough to hold off all of that." Pyra looked out again, trying to single out any commanders or high-value targets she should focus on first. Among the rabble was a few towering Solder-bots and one Heavy-bot with a host of smaller Medic-bots zipping around behind it as if to braid the numerous Medigun beams connected to the hulk's back. She didn't have to try to count how many tanks they brought with them; the smoke that spewed forth from the rear line gave off their numbers and filled Pyra with a sense of despair since just one of them could detonate with enough force to reduce Appleloosa to nothing more than particles in the wind. With any luck, they might- "HEY YOU STUPID ROBOTS! WE'RE NOT AFRAID OF YOU, AND IF YOU KEEP COMING THIS WAY WE'LL SCRAP YA' JUST LIKE THE LAST BATCH!" She valiantly cried at the top of her lungs, rearing up on her hind legs and pointing at the robot horde with her prosthetic leg. Pyra was taken aback by Frosty's sudden battle cry, yet it brought a smile to her face. Frosty's right! If those bots think they can just stomp through here- "I really hope those big ones didn't hear that…" Frosty gulped, still holding her pose. -then they were completely right. Pyra steeled her nerves as the line of Scout-bots rushed forward, their metal bats waving wildly in the air with sun glinting off of the various dings that had accumulated from terrorizing so many different pony settlements across Equestria. Then something unusual happened. A large chunk of the slender running machines stopped in their tracks as sparks jumped violently from what seemed like random spots along its body, almost if though they were being ripped apart by some unknown force. Another group followed suit, collapsing to the ground with digital cries taken from the genuine article as fiery wads of cash scattered about. The last two shuffled back to back, scanning the area around them while the rest of the artificial army looked on, just as confused as the two mares upon the hillside. "OH CRAP, OH CRAP, OHHH DIS AIN'T GOOD." "WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS! WE JUST GOTTA FIND WHAT'S DOIN' THIS, AN' KILL IT. SUPER EASY." "My plan exactly." Before the second Scout-bot could react, a knife had already pierced the main circuit breaker between its shoulders and sent it crashing to the ground. The last remaining Scout-bot looked lifelessly down at its fallen comrade, its cold, orange glowing eyes flickering slightly. Pyra and Frosty almost fell from leaning so far over in a vain attempt to see just what the hay as going on out there. Were they taunting them? Did they send in malfunctioning robots just to scare them? Had the elements finally taken their toll? What? "Oh, c'mon! Did that last one pop smoke? I can't see!" Frosty bobbed her head impatiently trying to see what was happening past the dust that had swept around the bionic base-runner's form. Pyra's yellow eyes widened in realization: that wasn't dust, it was smoke! Smoke she had seen before, it had belonged to- "DAMMIT! PYROS, GET OUT THERE!" The call boomed across the battlefield from the Commander-bot sitting atop one of the lumbering tanks followed by a vast amount of movement. The next wave was coming with every intention of setting the town, and everypony in it, ablaze. Pyra and Frosty raised their hooves to block the hot gust as the winds changed direction. Once it had passed they were met with an interesting development in the bot's plan of attack. Instead of marching in a line like a deadly version of red rover, they began funneling towards a single spot where a cactus was standing. "A…cactus? Pyra, I think the heat's starting to scramble my tired little brain, but are they trying to toast a cactus? Pyra?" "S-Spy?" "Zat's it, you filzy machines. Come to Spy…" In the blink of an eye, Spy had dropped two of the oncoming Pyros with quick and precise shots from his revolver. The rest of them took exception to that and changed course towards the horribly outnumbered espionage specialist. Pyra couldn't just stand there! With a deep breath she charged a short distance down the hill before breaking into a gallop. "Pyra! What the hay are you thinking?! The cactus isn't worth it! Darn it, we can find you another cactus if you really need one! Rrgh, shoot…Captain! Keep these ponies safe until I get back with Pyra! If worst comes to worst…you know the escape plan!" Frosty hesitated just long enough to see an acknowledging salute from an armored guardspony before flying after the mint justicar. "And tell everypony I know that I hate them!" Frosty strained herself to keep pace with Pyra. Not only was she exceptionally quick for a unicorn, but the fact that she could almost continuously charge thanks to her magic/shield combo made her marginally faster. Frosty rose a bit higher, partly to get a better view of what they were seemingly blindly rushing into but also because she had seen firsthoof how devastating those flamethrowers can be if they made contact with exposed flesh. "Why the fiery ones? Out of all of the other types of robots she could have decided to save her pet cactus from, it just HAD to be these things…" the teal pegasus said aloud, secretly hoping that Pyra would somehow hear her complaint over the commotion and turn herself around without the need for Frosty to get any closer than she was. It was the mechanical cackling that unnerved her the most, the almost a laugh/almost a chant that emitted from their voice boxes when they were near; the sound invoked visions of flame-licked buildings, ponies running in a panic, the sickening scent of burnt fur on top of roasting flesh… Frosty shook her head. Now was not the time to be focusing on what could happen, but instead of what she could hope to spare the ponies she'd been watching over from. Suddenly, the cactus Pyra had been speeding towards vanished, and in that instant the Pyro-bots turned to the next available target: Pyra. Or, at least they would have. "What the-" Frosty started. "Who leaves a row of novelty tennis balls out here?" *KA-BOOOOOOOOM!!!* The force of the surprise explosion knocked Pyra off her hooves, and the resulting shockwave blew Frosty out of the sky resulting in a painful collision with an unaware Pyra. "Ugh…you sure are heavy for something that flies…" "You're right, it was totally selfish of me to break my spine on your thick, metal shield. Luna forbid I inconvenience you be bleeding all over that big spike in the middle." Frosty let her head flop across Pyra's shield only to come face-to-shins with another robot. "Pyra? What does a red robot mean?" she asked quietly, hoping the answer would shed some light about which lucky death machine got to finish her off. Frosty closed her eyes as she felt a tug on her forelegs and the sensation of raising up off the ground. Frosty hesitated. Did she REALLY want to see what abomination was holding her, or would that make things worse? Reluctantly, she peaked out from behind her eyelids to see an equally surprised eye staring back at her. "Sorry aboot tha'. Didn't think two wee ponies would come a'chargin' right up ta' me bombs." 'So the robot's apologizing? No, it has to be a trick. Can I talk my way out of this? Why doesn't this prosthetic have any weapons in it? Darn it why didn't I get any speech perks?!' Frosty looked down to Pyra for help, but to her dismay, the other strange robot was crouched over her. It was up to Frosty Winds to save the day! She took a deep breath through her nose…and almost threw up in her mouth. "Gahk! Your breath! It's like somepony blended a Quarry Eel, poured it into a sulfur pit, and then let it bake in the sun!" "DEMOMAN!" Frosty was suddenly dropped as Lyra, her gear discarded off to the side, tackle-hugged the scottish bomber to the ground with a light thump. "You're here too?! How did- Spy, an-an-and YOU- you're both…" "Yes, zis iz all very touching but we should probably pull back before ze rest of ze robots advance. Move!" Lyra nodded, summoning her gear to her magically as she galloped behind the two mercs already making tracks back to the "fortified" town. Frosty followed as well, wondering if she had missed something important, like, why there were two fleshy robots helping them out and why Lyra seemed to light up when she saw them. Why was there never time to explain now instead of later? Lyra's mind was a rapid blur of thoughts and emotions, not something she strived for while in the midst of combat. How did Spy and Demoman get there? Bad things usually followed whenever they show up, were they going to have to fight off something else on top of the robots?! Lyra didn't know if she could handle anything el- *Thock thock thock!* The two humans skidded to a halt in front of the freshly planted ice arrows sticking up before them. "Pyra! Get out of the way so we can get a clear shot!" "No! They're not robots! They're what the robots are trying to be, and they're on our side, so let us through!" "I…but they look just like-" "To be fair, I have no idea what's going on anymore. I'm not dead yet so I like these odds," Frosty offhoofedly added. The words seemed to strike deep into all of the unicorns who heard them. The genuine articles for the bots? If that were true, then they must be a hundred times better in a fight! Or so they hoped. The C.O. waved them through, pushing the wimpy barricade aside to let them in. "Whadda' think our chances are against tha' kind of firepower?" Tavish asked as he reloaded his stickybomb launcher. Spy was silent for a moment while he scanned the horizon. "Not ideal; assuming zat ze ponies zat were shooting…ice at us, are ze main force we're working with, zose Soldiers are going to blast us apart before ze tanks can." "I can keep one side covered, but I cain't fight off tha' many if they bunch up." Pyra tried to interject. "I can distract them. The shield lets me-" "It won't be enough. Ze Soldier's rockets will blast you skyward before you know it." Spy sneered, remembering all of the times he had been tossed about by explosives while trying to sneak by the trigger-happy american. "Ring of bombs?" "Wha'? Eight bombs fer the whole town?! One can hardly cause dents against these bloody things." Pyra wished she could help. While she was eternally grateful that they had arrived when they did, she had forgotten how much they bickered with each other. Her ears pricked up as her head swiveled to follow the sound. Her yellow eyes widened with fear at what she saw. "Guys! GUYS! They're here!" The two REDs whirled, and much to their dismay, she was absolutely right. The Soldier-bots, much like their flesh counterpart, had developed a strange yet surprisingly effective method for travel: the rocket jump. Effortlessly bounding over the roadblock understudy and becoming infinitely more evasive for the undertrained unicorn archers the Soldier-bots landed heavily behind enemy lines, and began to open fire. Discord would have been proud; complete and utter chaos with only two rockets and one obliterated outhouse. Ponies ran about in a panic, rounding up loved ones and things of value while screaming at levels not thought possible for such exhausted refuges. Spy, Demoman, Pyra, and Frosty did what they could; Spy waded into their ranks before laying down as many sappers as he could before disappearing again, Demoman launched pipe bombs where their numbers were thickest sending sprays of bot parts and money flying through the air, all the while Pyra and Frosty did what they could to draw as many away from the ponies and into traps being rapidly set by the merc duo. Despite their best efforts, more and more rocket jumpers made their way over the walls with increasing distance, one almost landing on a family before Pyra tackled it away at the last moment. Frosty had been able to delay a few of them by swooping down at the height of their arcs and bucking them back to the unforgiving ground. "DAMMIT!" the mechanical voice exclaimed with a crunch. Frosty looped back up to position herself again when a shadow blocked out the sun in front of her. Before she could react, Frosty felt the rib-cracking grip of robotic arms wrap around her followed by the sensation of falling. Falling VERY quickly. She looked down at the spiraling ground rushing up to meet them as her suicidal captor spun itself into a fatal corkscrew. Frosty Winds struggled with all her might against the piston-powered arms but to no avail, all she could do was watch as she…shot back into the air? "Wh-what?" "WHAT?" The Soldier-bot seemed about as equally confused by the sudden updraft, temporally releasing its grip just enough for Frosty to snap out of her stupor before the bot could and fly to safety on a nearby roof. The Soldier was not so fortunate as it seemingly shattered upon impact with another of its kind. Frosty shook her head, flecks of cold sweat flying off her mane as she did so. What happened? The only thing she could remember was the sound of a heavy gust and a temporary pause in the sensation of falling. Frosty didn't have much time to contemplate as another two Soldier-bots made their way up onto her roof. Frosty tried to take to the sky, but the vice grip of the previous robot had nearly crushed her wing, forcing a pained gasp as she unconsciously tucked her wing to her side. Frosty felt a great heat building up behind her, not unlike a dragon gathering breath for a tremendous fireball. The two Soldier-bots looked above her and fired their launchers. Frosty hit the deck, while the rockets, that a mere instance before were sailing towards her, arced back around a hundred and eighty degrees and returned to their points of origin. Explosively. The blast shook the wooden roof, leaving only two scorch marks where the robots had been standing. "I gotta stop having these near-death experiences in this sun," Frosty panted looking up at the blazing ball of light beating down on her. "They're starting to get weirder and-" A large shadow loomed over Frosty, blocking out Celestia's heavenly body with its up-right form, "-weirder. You know what, just put me out of my misery. This is stupid." "Mmmph?" -x-x-X-x-x- Shaking with rage wasn't something the Commander-bot thought it was capable of, but there it was, practically shaking its bolts loose atop its tank upon hearing that every single one of its bots had just been wiped out by a third of the original members of RED Team. "THAT WAS AN AMAZING KILLING SPREE…" "REALLY? HUH, I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTIN' OUR ASSES KIC-" the Scout-bot's commentary was cut short by a interjectory comment via shovel. "BY THE OTHER TEAM! IT'S TIMES LIKE THESE WE USE THE ANCIENT TACTIC FROM SUN-ZU'S PLAYBOOK; KEEP THROWING WARRIORS AT THE ENEMY UNTIL YOU WIN OR CLOG THE CRAP OUT OF THEIR CANNONS! DO NOT FAIL! NECROMANCY DOES NOT WORK WITH ROBOTS, THE RESULTS ARE TERRIFYING!" With the clunky and horribly uninspiring speech about literally body slamming the enemy fortifications until they were unable to attack with all of the bodies blocking them ringing in their audio receptors, the rest of the robot army charged forward like an earth-shattering stampede. -x-x-X-x-x- Lyra felt her heart pump a hole through her ribcage. Even though the smoke still trailing from the desolated Soldiers blocked the full view of the thing standing behind Frosty, Lyra already knew who it was, and it brought her to tears. The tall figure scooped up Frosty and dropped down behind the wall of smoke without effort with a light thump. Frosty emerged first with a cough as she flapped away some of the smoke with her good wing to reveal the mute, rubbery arsonist with the black mask. "Pyro…? Is- Is that you?" Pyro nodded, hoisting his signature flamethrower up over his shoulder with one hand, while reaching for something in his belt with the other. He produced the Detonator, a modified flare gun with an extra trigger and pointed it at the horizon. Lyra and the other ponies who had since stopped panicking turned to where he was pointing as they collectively became aware that the very ground was quaking with the terrible force rampaging toward them. Panic among the ranks quickly resumed as the first of a few stray rockets exploded near the town. "Pyro! We need to get these ponies out of here! There's no way we can fight them off…" Lyra felt a hand on her back, a feeling she had been wanting to feel for so long, and now that it was here, she couldn't enjoy it knowing that she was about to die alongside her friends. Pyro just shook his head, and although she couldn't see his face, she could almost feel the warmth of a smile beaming down at her. Pyro stood and fired a flare high into the sky, his thumb hovering over the second trigger on the back until it reached the peak of its height and then- *Bang!* "A~TTACK!" Lyra jumped. The gruff voice that boomed louder than the rockets had startled her, and she could have sworn she had heard it before! Like a song being played in a new key or with a different instrument altogether. The secret defender of justice looked for the source but couldn't see anything regarding it, however, her sharp eyes did catch a few Soldier-bots launching themselves over the walls ahead of the main attack force. 'Wait, why is that one going the other way?' she wondered. The answer surprised her more than the robot who found itself on the business end of a Market Gardner. "Let's give these soup cans hell!" Jane Doe bellowed, grabbing the ankle of another Soldier-bot on his down, laughing all the way into a tool shed with his captive. "Was that the real Soldier?!" Lyra blurted out, tugging on Pyro's arm. He nodded happily and pointed out toward where Gray's army was advancing, namely at the two red specs standing in their way. One of the two was much larger than the other, that much was clear even at this distance, and in his hands he wielded some large cylinder while the slender of the duo appeared to have a faint red glow swirling around him. Lyra squinted in defiance of the sunlight but was unable to make out anything more. "Here, try this." "Oh, thank you," Lyra smiled as she magically gripped the device handed to her and peered through the glass tube at the top. The amplified vision gave her the information she needed about just who she was looking at; the large man spraying lead and rapidly thinning the robot forces was Heavy, and the other wearing a long lab coat was Medic! Lyra watched in awe as the people she had heard countless stories about from Pyro were really here to save the day! Heavy stopped firing after about twelve seconds with an angered look before beckoning the Medic as they both retreated back toward them. The team made it back with surprising speed, Heavy tossing the german doktor over the wall first before smashing his way through an already damaged portion as though it were straw. "Wow! You guys were amazing!" Lyra exclaimed. Heavy and Medic were both taken aback from the sight of a talking pony, something they were still getting used to, but they both nodded their thanks before regrouping with their peers. "Thanks again for letting me borrow your, uh- sniper rifle?! Who-" "One moment, love." Rough hands that knew every inch of every part of said gun gripped the wooden frame as they had done an infinite number of times before. "Steady, steady…" The thin man took in a breath and held it for a moment. His eyes scanned every robot charging forward from behind both his scope and his lightly tinted glasses before picking a target: the center-most Medic-bot trailing behind the giant Deflector Heavy. He exhaled slowly, squeezing the trigger as he did so with a loud bang from the end of the long barrel. The bullet raced across the field, zipping through impossible gaps among the robots before burrowing right between the chosen Medic-bots visual receptors. The resulting surge of power from the explosion jumped a short distance to the others with similar effects. The Deflector Heavy, turned as his precious healers crumpled with synchronized/synthesized screams, it looked back around to where the shot had come from just in time see the very same caliber bullet slice through its eye. Lyra could do precious little but stare as an almost evil smile crept across the man's face, his eyes were the same; intense, focused, and almost soul-piercing. These traces of something darker quickly faded as he turned to Lyra and took off his hat to bare his slick black hair to the light. "Name's Mr. Mundy, professional assassin," Sniper said doffing his hat back on his head. "I know who you are! You're RED Team's Sniper, the best shot in the world! I remember hearing stories of how awesome you are from Pyro." Lyra blushed a little at that last part, she knew she blurted things out when she got excited. Sniper looked puzzled. "He did, did he? Well, that's a bit of alright! Good to know my reputation travels this far across, uh, wherever we are. Heh." Sniper realized that there was something truly outstanding standing on four legs before him; not only was she a talking, magical unicorn…but she could actually understand Pyro! "I'm sorry, but did you said that Pyro, PYRO, told you about us? How the hell did he manage that with the, uh…mask?" the australian asked making a circular motion around his questioning face. "Huh? Do you guys not have access to Pyroland?" Mr. Mundy almost dropped his jar filled with some strange liquid. "Pyroland?! Bloody hell, just thinkin' about that place gives me the creeps. I suppose that makes sense, 'bout the only licka' sense to come outta that train wreck," Sniper admitted uncomfortably. Lyra felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and left her up just in time for Soldier, Heavy, Medic, and Demoman to come rushing by before making their way to the wall to face the robots head-on. Lyra looked back at the one who had scooped her up, no surprise, her savior was once again Pyro. "Murrph murmur, hudda murah." "That's okay, I didn't plan on risking my neck out there anyway," she said with a smile. Pyro carried her a ways, finally plopped her down next to where Sniper had taken position in one of the taller buildings that still had an un-demolished second floor and pointed at the floor in a "stay" type of motion before heading out to join the others. "Don't look so glum, Lyra? Is that your name?" Lyra nodded. "Right. We have a plan for this kind of scenario, works like a charm." "Ooh, what is it?" Lyra cooed. "A Level Three Sentry Gun, by yours truly." Lyra looked up at what she was sure was a member of the Apple Family only to see a short man wearing a yellow hard hat and goggles. "Howdy, little filly. Name's Dell Conagher, but you can call me what the rest of these yahoos refer to me as: Engineer. Or 'Engie' for short." "Charmed. I'm Lyra, always a pleasure to meet one of Pyro's friends." Lyra extended a hoof that was gently yet firmly grasped by Mr. Conagher's gloved hand in a term Lyra had coined as an "arm-crank." "Yeah, 'friend.' To be honest, I'm sure he's talked quite a bit about you too, but between the mumbling, gunfire, and the undeniable fact that we all thought Pyro was playing with fewer cards than he usually does when he told us 'bout this place, we know very little about you. No offense, miss." Lyra tilted her head to the side and let the corresponding ear flop while perking the other in the air, something the two mercenaries both thought was adorable but would have never admitted that fact without hours of torture. "Oh? Aren't you guys…friends? I mean, you've all worked together for years, so shouldn't you be friends?" "We're not so much friends as we are professionals. SOME of us are, anyway…" Sniper grumbled under his breath. "That reminds me." The Engineer wondered over to a red toolbox and gave it a light kick. The box didn't open the way Lyra thought it would, instead it unfolded into a small metal platform that quickly began to spin until a disk of red light began to shine. A moment later, a bright flash erupted from it, and there stood the youngest looking human Lyra had ever seen up close. "'Bout freakin' time, hardhat. I was waitin' out there fer- is that a green unicorn sittin' right there?" Lyra trotted over happily, excited that she was able to meet yet another- "Can we ride him?" Lyra's enthusiasm quickly died. And while she as able to maintain her smile, her eyes flashed bloody murder along with the vein in her forehead. "I'm a mare, thank you very much. From your appearance, and seeing as you're the last one I haven't met, you must be the Scout." "Ho-ly CRAP! Engie, it talks! It freakin'- so that means Pyro wasn't just blowin' smoke out his ass! Whoa wait whoa; LAST one? Is everyone else here?!" The other three nodded. "I gotta run!" Scout ejected a shell from his scattergun and just as soon as he'd arrived, he was gone, already halfway across town and closing fast on the rest of his team, even at this distance they could still hear him shout something about Heavy beating him there. Engie hefted another toolbox over his shoulder with a grunt. "I'm gonna move this gear up, care to join, Lyra?" Lyra's eyes sparkled with delight at the thought of helping Pyro and crew in battle, but… "Pyro told me to stay here, where it's safe. He worries about me." "Trust me, with this helpin' out, you'll be safer than Australium bar in Hale's vault." -x-x-X-x-x- Gray Mann threw down his glass, anger flaring in his eyes at what his daughter was telling him. "What do you mean 'the RED Team left,' where could they have possibly gone?!" "I-I don't know, daddy! One day they were here, and the next thing I knew, BLU Team had taken their place! I even had to repaint all the robots…" Gray could feel a migraine kicking down his door. 'What could this mean? Did they somehow find out where I went? No, no that's impossible. They would have had to have a contact here and I seriously doubt those morons could figure out para-dimensional travel. Wait, their Engineer is a Conagher, Radigan's grandson! Damn…' Gray stood, pacing about in front of the massive screen portraying his daughter's worried face. "Commander, what is the situation on your end?" Static was all he could hear. "Commander, WHAT is your status?" The silence was deafening. "Commander, you piece of scrap; THIS IS YOUR MAKER! ANSWER ME!" After a few more agonizing seconds, a crackle came over the radio. It sounded like one of his bots trying to say something, but it was garbled and drowned out by what sounded like a chinese firework factory being rented out by the N.R.A. "MERC- *ZZZZTZZZ* -RIES! GAAAA~*" Gray slammed his wrinkled fists against his desk and was silent. Olivia, not sure what to say at this point, slowly inched her way offscreen before reaching over with her little arm to hit the disconnect button. "Alright, Hale. I see your little game; you want to put a Mann Co. expansion here, don't you? Well, we'll see how your little bastards hold out against my newest creations."