//------------------------------//
// Short: Discord vs. The Spartan 
// Story: The Speechless Spartan in Equestria 
// by marking 
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Short: Discord vs. The Spartan



Discord the god of chaos was by no means a coward. Having a few millennia of experience, chaos magic, and immortality allowed him to get away with basically anything except world domination. That’s why he had been shocked when that creature he practically saved from space turned out to return his little attack with a punch that by any other means would have practically ripped his head clean off. Discord was only lucky that he had decided to figure out how it would feel to have rubber bones this day rather than crystal ones. Nevertheless the problem still remained, that the alien had punched him out of town and out of service for a full day. This only warranted a rebuttal of the chaotic kind of course.

Meanwhile the Spartan had done his final rounds around the treehouse in order to make sure he had gotten the last of the bastards that attacked him. Well, attacked seemed too generous, that would mean they posed a threat to begin with. Twilight, instead of chewing him out, just sighed as she watched the last bounty hunter getting picked up in the wheelbarrow and transported to the hospital. The Spartan on the other hand was happy that she was finally getting an idea of how things worked with him. Besides, nobody that knew what a Spartan was capable of was stupid enough to charge at a Spartan with the intent of killing him. Twilight had simply gone to bed and hadn’t woken up since, Black Mist was still out cold, and Spike had spent his entire time pestering the Spartan for details of how the battle went.

In the end everyone was asleep and the Spartan could finally get some rest after dealing with the colorful blobs that probably crapped rainbows and sunshine. The Spartan armed the security system and went to his bedroom and lay on his ridiculously small bed. He had been on the planet for a while now and the whole idea of dreams had been a difficult one to get used too. Usually one didn’t dream when suspended in cryo-sleep. All of his dreams were the same, either he found himself back in a battle fighting the Covenant or he would simply relive his training days. On more than one occasion he had woken up as he felt as if an AI was trying to get inside his mind. Of course whenever he woke up the feeling was immediately gone, but it usually served to keep him up after that.

This night though something else woke the Spartan up as his visor began flashing warning signs in his HUD which brought the Spartan to wake up. As he opened his eyes he found the genetic monster he was sure he had killed a few hours ago looming over him. The creature touched the Spartan’s helmet with a talon which gave the Spartan the window he needed as he grabbed onto the draconequus’s arm.

“My, my, up already? I’d expect you to be somewhat of a light sleeper but you were practically just searching for something to disturb you weren’t y-“ Discord was interrupted mid rant as the Spartan’s fist collided with the being’s face a second time which sent him flying out of the room. The only difference was this time the Spartan hadn’t let go of his arm.

The Spartan looked at the arm he held within his grasp expecting to see it oozing blood from being ripped off. Instead what he got was just an overstretched claw as it seemed be made out of a taffy like substance.

‘What the fuck is this guy made off?’ the Spartan questioned as he began hearing sound in his comms. 

The Spartan immediately dropped the arm as it retracted into the library’s lobby while he tried to reply to the signal. What he got was not what he expected as instead of hearing the garble similar to his that would identify the people on the other line as English speakers he got a tune slowly coming into his headset. The volume turning higher and higher as the music could now be heard even through his helmet and out into the library. The Spartan tried everything in his control to stop the music but it didn’t relent as the dance-pop song continued it charade.

“What, you don’t like my little gift? You need to relax and go with the groove buddy!” Discord said as he appeared unscathed in the lobby dancing to the beat of the music in a frilly getup and using maracas.

‘I’m going to break every single bone in your body and then rip you to shreds only to burn you in a bonfire!’ the Spartan thought as he grabbed the taser he left on the nightstand. Though instead of charging at the draconequus he used it on the knocked out night guard.

“OUCH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?” Black Mist yelled as the Spartan tossed him the taser and pointed upstairs where Twilight was before smashing his fists together in a threatening manner towards the dancing draconequus.







(Twilight Sparkle)

Twilight was having a very good dream that involved her finding a never before read book inside the cave of ancient tomes inside the Canterlot Library. The Daring Do outfit she was wearing only aided in giving the dream that adventurous aroma she totally had no matter what Rainbow Dash, Applejack, or Pinkie Pie said. The dream was at once destroyed as a big explosion brought her to the land of the living in a rather unpleasant way. What seemed to only weird her out even more about the situation going on downstairs was the song that could be heard. It was odd yet lively and somewhat funny as the saxophone gave it a fast pace. 

She looked over from the second floor only to see Discord flying comically around the treehouse as the Spartan chased him with a kitchen knife. The music didn’t help as the overly comical scenery in front of her made her want to laugh but the Spartan obviously trying to murder Discord made her want to stop it. Of course seeing that Discord was rather relaxed and running away now using a unicycle and juggling balls destroyed the seriousness of the situation. The two of them ran all over the place as the Spartan kept throwing flashbangs to stun and disorient the draconequus. At one point Twilight would have sworn she saw Black Mist pop out of the guest room wearing a tutu. 

Twilight found herself silently rooting for the Spartan before Discord grabbed a book from a shelf and tossed it at the super soldier. This woke up Twilight’s sense of responsibility as she ran down the stairs and yelled, “DISCORD! WHAT IN TARTARUS IS GOING ON!?”

“Oh it seems the gig is up, anyway Silent Warrior it’s been fun but I believe Fluttershy will be quite scared to find me missing if I don’t-,” Discord realized that he would be unable to finish his explanation as the Spartan grabbed the draconequus by the head and pried his mouth open before placing a live stinger grenade inside.

‘You’re done motherfucker!’ the Spartan thought as Discord tried to fight against the Spartan’s grip before the grenade went off.
Instead of his head blowing up and covering him in brain matter it only bulged out like a balloon before Discord let out a gasp of smoke.

The Spartan didn’t take any chances as his mission was now clear, he would be killing this piece of shit. He slammed his fist against Discord’s face and kicked him out of the library. A new song was now playing in his helmet as he approached the open door of the library before looking back at Twilight and lifting up the kitchen knife as if asking to borrow it. Twilight was speechless as she could almost feel the evil aura coming from the Spartan.

“What in the Equestria happened?” Twilight asked as she could only fathom what the Spartan had in store for the god of chaos.

“What’s going on?” Black Mist said as he waddled towards Twilight while wearing a frilly pink tutu and corset.

“I think Silent is going to murder the god of chaos,” Twilight said before looking at Black Mist, “And what’s wrong with you?”

“The crotch is too tight,” Black Mist said before waddling back to his room to take off the ridiculous get up.







(Discord)

Many things used to go through the draconequus’s mind at once, like what water tasted like. Or why foals loved cinnamon toast crunch. In this case what was going through his mind was more or less a fist. The thought of how things had turned out so wrong was also in there. 

The new song playing was not one Discord had thought about playing, it seemed like the whole enchantment he had placed on the metallic being was being affected by him. It didn’t help that no matter what the god of chaos threw at him the super soldier always came back and with a vengeance. Most of the time he would be able to change his body’s properties right in time before the Spartan struck in a way that would surely dismember anything short of a god.

Discord didn’t just run away either, he would make rocks and trees alike turn to life and attack the Spartan as well as throwing bombs at him in the varied forms. The battle had been dragged out of the town and into the clearing outside of town which served as an excellent battlefield. Explosions and wild maniacal laughter rang out from both fighting parties as destruction only followed them.  Discord was exceedingly happy that he was an immortal or else the fight would have ended before it started, the Spartan proving to be a lot more chaotic and destructive than any other being he had the pleasure of meeting. 

Of course Discord found himself slowly getting weaker and having less focus than when he started while the Spartan seemed relentless. The battle slowly began to turn into a one sided annihilation as the barriers Discord brought up were crushed, the monsters he spawned were destroyed and any excuses he said would be shoved right back into his mouth.







(Spartan)

This was the most fun the Spartan had been having since he came to Equestria. The genetic monster in front of him proved to be at the very least capable of surviving his attacks. This only instigated the Spartan to attack more fiercely and use tactics he hadn’t learned unless he had to fight against a Hunter. The trees that seemed to catch life and attack him were a little tricky to kill but nonetheless none of the little minions Discord sent at him was capable of stopping him for long. The Spartan would always find a window and with a crack smashed Discord’s face into the earth.

He was getting a real workout as the fight seemed to be at a stalemate, that was until Discord’s movements seemed to be slowing down which gave him the green light to finally give the bastard a lifetime’s worth of punishment. In the blink of an eye the Spartan was upon the draconequus while inside his helmet his face was contorted into that of pure unfiltered evil.

The Spartan began to systematically beat the living crap out of the god of chaos. Whenever he was capable of teleporting away the Spartan was already upon him and bashing his body faster than he could heal himself. Discord was a wreck as the Spartan brought the hammer of destruction upon him; something about the music only gave him more motivation as if an inner demon inside him had been awakened. 

Soon the day’s light reached them as the dawn made its appearance and the smoke, splinters, scorched ground, destroyed vegetation, small fires, and multiple craters gave an idea of what happened. The Spartan grabbed Discord by the throat and hoisted him up as he took the out the now bent and jagged knife he borrowed from Twilight and placed it to the bastard’s throat.

Discord didn’t seem sorrowful or scared, only tired though he still kept a small smirk of amusement. The Spartan didn’t have a temper for his little jokes but he could respect a warrior that could look into the face of death and smile. Discord placed his talon on the Spartan’s helmet and the music stopped.  The Spartan smiled as it seemed they had reached an agreement, besides killing a punching bag that could sustain his wrath was hard to come by. Discord would be a great dummy to take his frustrations out on. 

The Spartan retracted the knife and let go of Discord as he turned away, heading towards the library. Discord only stared at the Spartan as his wounds and bones slowly healed, before the Spartan turned around and ran towards him like a freight train and kicked him so hard in the gut he was sent flying right into the Everfree forest all while leaving behind a small stream of blood. It would take a good long while for Discord to heal up but the message was clear.

‘And don’t you ever mess with my armor again,’ the Spartan thought as he ran diagnostics and saw that not only no foreign programs were installed but the suit seemed to be in a lot better condition as well as having the temperature regulation system back online, ‘Not bad.’

And with that he returned back to the library in order to attend his lecture on the consequences of terrorizing the town in the middle of the night and making a battlefield out of the town’s outskirts. He would also have to see if he could make some more advanced weapons in Twilight’s library.