A lot of the other Diamond Dogs complained about their new jobs, but I was happy when I got mine.
Back before I became a guard dog, I used to watch the pigs and rabbits and chickens on one of the farms at the edge of the kingdom. It was nice out there, but lonely. Usually dogs only get sent out to the farm when they’re too old and weak to mine anymore. I was born there, though, so it’s always felt like my home.
Miss Fluttershy’s home reminds me of the farm. It was so quiet, except for the animals. The pony herself barely speaks louder than a whisper most of the time.
At first, I didn’t understand why a pony would bother with animals when she couldn’t even eat them. And there were so many different kinds too! The pony had a few chickens in a coop, but there were also every other bird you could imagine. There were all sorts of animals that usually live in forests, or in swamps or way out in the wilds. The smells were amazing! I wish I could have bottled some to take home.
The animals all hid from me at first, but she talked to them, and I guess they all understood somehow because they became as fearless of me as they were of her. I had a pair of squirrels running around and chasing each other over my back and paws and some birds kept on landing on my head all day. They tickle!
There was also a bear, but I don’t think he ever really liked me. He was always looking at me like the pony was his cub and I’d better not try anything or he’d make me regret it. He even tried to show his teeth at me a couple times. When Fluttershy wasn’t looking, I showed him the claw necklace I wear under my breastplate and licked my chops real slow and easy. He still gave me the stink-eye after that, but he kept his distance. Bear is real easy to hunt even with a small pack if we have armor and good noses, and it tastes great.
Well, there was work too. She said she needed help with animals. I showed her my best herding skills even before she asked, running real close behind the animals and just sort of showing them where I wanted them to go, but giving slowbies and rebels little barks and nips at the heels when they broke away from the rest. It didn’t work so well with most of them, especially the birds. The pony kept flying over my head, making squeaking noises and telling me to be careful and to be a little gentler and to stop biting and so on until she was just sort of holding her hooves over her face and saying ‘stop’ over and over again.
She told me to leave the herding to her and put me to work moving things that weren’t alive, like food and after-food. This wasn’t as fun as herding, but Boomer said to do whatever the ponies wanted us to do, so I did it.
Everything went well until the pony came to check on me at the end of the day. She said I did a good job and that I was a nice Diamond Dog and she would tell all her friends. Then she asked if I wanted to know anything so I could understand ponies better.
I asked her why she took care of wild animals.
She said they needed her help to make sure they were safe and fed and knew how to do things.
That made no sense to me. If animals needed all that help, how were they wild? The animals around her were like the livestock we kept on our farms that couldn’t get by without us.
The pony showed me the pictures of bugs on her hips and said the pictures told her that helping animals was her job, and they made it so she could understand what animals were thinking.
I understood. She was like the Diamond Dog who got sent out to the farm because he thought mail carriers were giving him secret messages that told him to bite everyone. Poor crazy pony, no wonder she lives way away from the others.
That dog always got angry when I told him he was crazy, so I didn’t mention it, and after it was quiet for a while she asked me about how I learned to herd, and said I reminded her of some lady dog named Winona.
I told her about how I had worked on a farm most of my life, and I don’t think she understood me, because she said it made her so happy to know that dogs looked after animals the way ponies did.
She asked me if I missed being around my animal friends and I said yes, so she told me that she’s always trying to find ponies to take animals away from her, and she would like to give me one because I was such a good worker and to help my pack and her herd to be friends.
I was about to ask for that bear, but I remembered Boomer’s instructions and pointed to one of the fish in the pond instead. She thought a little and said Rainbow Splash was very special to her, but I could have her if I really wanted to. Then she laughed and said she used to be too overprotective of fish, and even once sailed across the sea with a pirate just to find a lost fish one time. She said she was better now about letting things go.
Fluttershy went off to get a bowl, and she just laughed again when I told her I didn’t expect ponies to have bowls for fish. She was quick, too. I was still waiting for Rainbow Splash (and a few other frogs and things who got in the way) to stop thrashing on the end of my spear when the pony got back with the bowl. I didn’t mind too much that she dropped the bowl and broke it when she started screaming. It was way too deep to eat from, anyway.
I don’t remember too much after that. Fluttershy’s eyes went weird and she started getting a lot louder and scarier-looking than I thought ponies could get, and then the next thing I know I was running back into our camp as fast as I could go with my tail between my legs.
I think that maybe that pony is still too attached to fish.