Chapter 16
Snake In The Grass
Man if feels like I have been walking for like three months and have gotten nowhere. All I have seen for who knows how long have been trees and shrubbery. I guess it was too much to ask for this to be a quick mission so I could get home and relax.
It seems that I have finally started to make some headway in my travels since I now can hear the sound of flowing water. I continue down the path towards the source of the sound. The river soon came into view and I have to say that it is a pretty nice fishing hole they had. The river was a decent size and depth I could see a vast amount of fish traveling along with the current.
‘Okay well I finally made it, let’s see if I can find this Boitatá guy and talk him into relocating or even just sharing.’ I thought to myself trying to keep my spirits high hoping that this doesn’t end up like every other thing I try...A cluster buck.
I walk along the river bank hoping to see some kind of sign of him. After a few minutes there was no trace of him around and I started to get bored. I wonder if calling him will be able to draw Boitatá out to play.
“Hey, Boitatá are you around? I just want to talk,” Still nothing man ether he can’t hear me or he is just being an ass. “Boitatá I have some filly scout cookies for you! Hmm they’re coconut!!” Still silence. Well if that didn’t work nothing will. I mean anyone that has had those cookies would chew off their leg to get just a crumb of one.
As I continue looking for him I started to hear something alittle ways off from where I am. Figuring it was the best lead I had I started to head towards the sound.
As I wander towards the unknown sounds I start to think how I was going to convince him to leave in the first place. I mean what I could offer him to get him to move? I could promise to help him find a better place to live. If that doesn’t work I could try talking him into sharing the stop with the wolves, which would probably be my best chance. Worst comes to worse I will have to fight him and scare him off. I was able to beat a timberwolf alone how hard could a Boitatá be?
The noises lead me to a large dark cave. All I could think was ‘well this doesn’t look menacing at all’. I walked slightly closer to the cavern but not getting to close to it just in case. Figuring this is where Boitatá has been holding up. Well might as well get this out of the way and see if he is in there.
“Hello can Boitatá come out and play?” Man I just know one of these days my mouth is going to get me into trouble. Before I could berate myself for my stupid comment I hear a voice come from deep within the cave.
“Who has the nerve to awaken me from my slumber?” The voice was deep and carried a tone of authority to it. It clearly had a ‘don’t buck with me’ kinda feel to it.
“I am sorry for waking you I am looking for someone name Boitatá I have something important to discuss with him. Would you happen to be him?” I am doing my best to be polite now to the disembodied voice I am talking to. Kinda rude to stay hidden in the cave and not come out to talk to me but whatever.
“Oh and what would you want to discuss with him? You really think you are in the same league to speak to someone like Boitatá?” Wow I could almost taste the smugness rolling off his words as I am once again talked down to again. Really is it my fur cut why does everyone see me as low class?
“Well that is something that is between Boitatá and me. I don’t think someone as ‘mighty’ would want to discuss his business with a random voice in a hole in the wall.” I am fully aware that there is a ninety-nine percent chance that this is Boitatá I am talking to but this will ether make me look good in his eyes or piss him off that I am dismissing him… I am really hoping for the first one.
“I see your point. Well then why don’t you come on in? You and he can talk about whatever you want to talk to him about.” Now the voice is trying to sound civil with a more friendly tone.
Now in my mind all I can hear in my head is, “ Mmm don’t go in their! Do. Not. Go. In. There! He gonna kill you!’ Like how Pinkie yells at the TV when we have our movie night and Dash bring over one of her horror movies. I can still see Shy shivering in her seat with her face buried in a pillow.
“Yyeeahh. Here is an idea. Why don’t you come out here? It is a great day out here, a pleasant breeze, the sun shining down, I mean look you some flowers right here,” I walk over and sniff the flowers. “I like your flowers, these are some nice flowers. Come out here so we can talk.” And so I can run my ass off if need be.
“Are you trying to tell me what to do? You think you are my equal to order me around?!” Oh no I really don’t’ like the way he said that.
The next thing I know I see a pair of eyes glowing in the cave. They slowly get bigger and bigger as they come closer. My instincts tell me to get away from the entrance of the cave and I tend not to argue with them. The moment I dive out from the mouth of the cave I see this huge creature come barreling out of it. As I pull myself up and shack my head clear after dive and I see the creature I have been conversing with this whole time. The only thing I can think to say is …. “Oh Buck”.
There in front of me was a giant snake, now when I say giant I don’t mean like your friend’s mom that is too big to go down the stairs without a spell to carry her. I mean giant as in will eat the house and your friend’s mom along with it. This fearsome reptile is at least as large as the library. Its eyes where a fierier yellow and orange, it had to long horns that came from the top of his head like a bulls. Its underbelly was this bloodshot red like it just slithered over a pile of bodies. The scales that covered its body where the same fierier color his eyes are. So the short version is he looks like a huge bucking snake that just slithered his way out of Tartarus.
Boitatá slithers closer to me as I looked at him still slightly stunned by the reptile that I just so happen to have pissed off a few seconds ago. He lowered his head to look me straight in the eye, which would be a lot better if his head wasn’t the size of my whole body.
“I am out here, so tell me what do you want before I devour you like the pathetic morsel you are?” Well that is kind of mean, I happen to think I am a nice hunk of hot dog…. Did I just think that? I got to stop hanging out with Pinkie so much. After my unfortunate ‘Pinkie pun’ I was able to come back to my senses and find my voice to respond to the huge pair of almost glowing eyes in front of me.
“Buck m.. I mean I take it you are Boitatá? I am Spike and I am here for the wolf pack that uses this area for their hunting.” I am doing my best to not piss off the giant mouth and stomach that is right in front of me.
“Oh and what do those furry bags of meat want?” Wow that is a very creepy way to describe them. This guy might need some professional help… or a lot of electroshock therapy.
“I am here to talk on their behalf on trying to see if you are willing to move to a different location so they can come back here for the fish or if you would be willing to share this spot with them without incident.” I am getting the feeling that this guy will not want to be reasonable about the situation.
Boitatá broke his stare on me to lift his head up and bellow out a thunderous laugh. Well I guess I called it that, anyone that laughs like he just got out of super villain school with honors will not want to coexist with anything.
“That is rich. Tell me you purple meatbag why should I let them into my territory much less leave so those pathetic predators could come here to eat fish? So they can honor some pact made to protect weaklings like them from true predators like myself?” Boitatá says with a level of smugness that makes BlueBlood look like AppleJack.
“Well Boitatá it would be useful to have some allies on your side. It is clear you are powerful,” Man I have puffing up his already huge ego but it might be the only way to get through to this flaming pain in my ass. “But even someone as strong as you will need supporters to help you if you ever need it. The wolves have numbers to be great assets to you and they wouldn’t forget the favor of sharing hunting ground with them without their kind being killed.” Man I hope this doesn’t come to bite me in the ass but I figured I could talk the wolves into a truce with Boitatá easier than it would be into talking him into leaving.
This idea seems to have gotten Boitatá thinking. It is clear by the look into his eyes that he is pondering the deal. Any sane person would see that this deal has everyone win but from my experience the sane solution isn’t always the one that is chosen.
“You make a point meatbag, I could use those wolves to protect what is mine without having to do it myself,” Well this is looking up, he will have to stop talking about the land being his and I might be able to get the wolves to go along with. “The wolves will have to do something for me before I consider making a truce with them.” Well this can’t be good.
“Okay Boitatá, what do you want of the wolf pack?” Please be something reasonable, like a massage or something I am sure being a giant snake must get crazy muscle pains.
“I want them to deliver all their pups to me to be devoured as proof they will be loyal to me.” My jaw hit the ground hearing his insane request. That has to be one of the craziest things I have ever heard and I heard Pinkie want to cover herself in chocolate so she can bring chocolate to everyone she meets.
“Okay how about hell no! What are you bucking crazy, I would never ask them that!” I shout at Boitatá snarling at him the fact he wants to eat all their pups has thrown all my tact out the window and set it on fire.
“You will watch your mouth meatbag, you have no right to tell the mighty Boitatá what to do! Now ether you tell them and they serve me or I go there and I eat their pups and then all of them.” I watch as he eyes lock on me, his eyes seem to be glowing now with a demonic eeriness.
“Or I can tell you to bite my shinny furry purple ass! I won’t tell them to give up their children to a leathery bastard like you. And I won’t let you get anywhere near them to attack them!” I drop down in a more feral stance and start to let my flames dance on my gums.
“Oh you are going to stop me you pathetic meatbag? Well then,” I watch as Boitatá pull himself up and towering over me looking down on me and then it happen. His whole body burst into flames. It was giving off a heat I have never been felt before. The grass and leaves around use started to burn just by being in the vicinity of this inferno. “By all mean try meatbag and I will enjoy torching your body before I swallow you whole.”
As I look at the monstrous flaming reptile in front of me I can only look back at how I got here and wonder why these things always seem to happen to me. The only words that I can think to express the situation I was now in were the words I first though when this all got started.
“Good grief.”