//------------------------------// // Chapter 28: Talk it Out // Story: Ponyville Days // by Cirrus Sky //------------------------------// “Hey Rainbow.” Gilda said, her voice low and sounding gruffer than she wanted. Rainbow had turned away as soon as she had registered who was here to see her. “What do you want?” Rainbow growled, almost, Gilda felt hollow to see Rainbow’s fingers brush her arm where some many months before an ugly scrape had been. The irate pilot didn’t notice her headstrong former friend wince, an outward sign of an internal collapse. “I came to talk.” Gilda knew there wasn’t much of a chance, but she had to try. “Well I don’t want to talk. Get lost.” Rainbow remained turned away. “Rainbow...” “No! I’m not talking.” She jumped up and walked away, not once looking at Gilda. When Rainbow was out of sight Gilda heard a motorcycle fire up. She sat on the bench vacated by her former friend. “I had a feeling that this wouldn’t work.” Twilight said from the back door. “She shouted something about the farm, so I’m not worried.” “What now?” Gilda looked up, she could feel tears wanting to break through and forced herself to hold them in, she’d not shed one since her mother’s funeral and wasn’t about to start in front of a virtual stranger. “I want to talk to you.” Twilight took the opposite bench across the table. “Okay.” The pilot sounded resigned. It was remarkable to Twilight how easy to read Gilda was, having spent so long with Rainbow. The two women were so alike. “You hurt Rainbow. You hurt her a lot.” Twilight’s voice was level but with underlying emotion. Gilda looked across; the way the navy haired girl was sat looked like one of the politicians of the state during TV appearances. “Mentally she was really hurt, she played down the black eye and scratches.” There was a rise in her voice. Gilda tightened her fist and saw the white lines show up under the tension. “How, how bad was it?” “The bruising went down after a few days and a cold compress.” Twilight thinned her lips. “As for the scratches? Rainbow has damaged herself worse ‘playing’. The fact it was you hurt her more.” Gilda sighed, an expulsion of air that didn’t dislodge the emotions she was holding. “I was an idiot.” She paused, looking at the table-top. “We argued. But then we had always argued.” Absently she ran her knuckles over the varnished wood. “I, I was so jealous of Rainbow and you – all her friends really. The world she has built herself.” “Rainbow thought it was about your relationship.” Twilight offered. “Yeah, I said plenty about that. She,” Gilda inhaled to cover a hitch in her voice. “She had been looking at you how she used to look at me... I realised I had lost her then.” Gilda ground her fist into the table but stopped before she went too far. “I started to think about all the things I was jealous of, that she had... Friends and a job and a, a purpose! A home. Somewhere to come back to, people who loved her...” Gilda kept on mumbling out things, grinding her hands on the wood. “I got angry and then said worse and Rainbow gives as good as she gets. I grabbed her and she pulled away. That was what drew blood. Then... I hit her.” “There isn’t an excuse really.” Twilight sounded so open, not vindictive or judgemental. Simply voicing exactly what Gilda thought. She finally looked Twilight in the eyes, looking up for the first time in the conversation. Twilight noticed the droplet of water that escaped the golden eyes looking at her. “I hit her but I knew I loved her! I was so angry and, and sad I wanted to hit something.” “You’re physical people right? Extreme emotion forces actions instead of words. But you shouldn’t have done it.” “When my mom died I punched at my dad, but he caught them again and again...” Gilda heard the tears land on the table before she felt them on her face. “I’m so sorry. I hurt her but I love her and...” She felt a shudder and it forced out a sob. “I’m sorry.” Twilight sat, watching in horror as a person collapsed before her eyes. It was hard; she had wanted to at least be cross with Gilda, to hold on to a little anger at the woman who had hurt her Rainbow. Then here she was presented with a woman who was strong, without a doubt, just breaking. Gilda felt worse than she had waking up in a hospital bed. The words her father had left her, warning that her body had given in due to her treatment of it and her emotions would follow. Arms around her were surprising. “I hope you are sorry for what you did to Rainbow, not just regretful for how it made you feel.” Twilight was hugging her. “She’s the closest I have to a sister. I deserve to feel like crap for what I did.” Gilda sniffed. “G...” Rainbow was on the deck. She too looked stricken. -*- Rainbow had gotten down the block when her bike had stuttered out, no fuel left. It was too far to walk to the gas station. Grumbling she had turned around and wheeled her bike back to the house. Voices came from the back yard. Gilda and Twilight. She had moved around to the back, ready to jump if Gilda even laid a finger on Twilight. She got close enough to hear in time for Gilda’s list, a list of things she envied Rainbow for. It froze her to the spot. She couldn’t interrupt, she couldn’t move closer. Rainbow stood and listened. The sorry, the apology sounded so heartfelt. Gilda sounded so broken, Rainbow couldn’t stay put when Gilda referred to her as a sister. -*- “I’m sorry Rainbow. You loved me and I loved you and I hurt you...” Gilda looked up from the floor. “I am sorry I hurt you.” She let Twilight gently draw away. “I think you two need to talk.” The navy haired librarian led Rainbow to the bench and sat her down. “I’ll be nearby if you need me.” Twilight slipped back into the house. “Gilda. Why’re you here?” Rainbow knew that Gilda was fragile right now, looking and probably feeling the same way she felt when the motorcycle had passed from sight on the dusty road months before. It wasn’t like Gilda to face problems head on. “I came to see you.” Gilda shrugged. “I came to talk. I came because there was a job down here... If you have a happy life and a home here, I thought maybe I could give it a try too.” She couldn’t quite smile properly but attempted it. “I heard you say you were jealous. Of me and the girls.” Rainbow wasn’t sat too defensively, still a little guarded but willing to talk now. “I ditched you in a town because your plane broke down...Yeah that was a jerk move but I was getting stir crazy." She looked thoughtful a moment, "Next thing I know you’re happy and living your life without me.” Gilda said, trying to keep traces of anger from her voice. “Then suddenly you’re an adult! Man, putting down to find you running the place, actually doing a real job? You were a stranger.” “Only because you were being a stranger too G.” Rainbow said, a little chastising. “I e-mailed, I texted and I messaged you and got, like, one reply to six?” “I know. I messed up.” Gilda slumped at the table and rested her forehead on her hand. “I thought you’d catch me up. Then you didn’t. Then you had built a life without me. Then you replaced me.” She held up her free hand to halt Rainbow’s reply. “It felt like it to me, so I acted out, that Pinkie chick is overwhelming and it looked like you were together... Y’know, I never really bothered with anyone else between visits?” Gilda sighed. “There were a few fun hook-ups but nothing like what we had.” Rainbow looked stricken. “So it looked like I had been cheating on you. I just called you a jerk and sent you away.” “I want to say I got over it, but I knew I’d lost you by the next time.” Gold eyes, red and tear-soaked, looked earnestly at Rainbow. “You really did have eyes on Twilight the whole time.” She sniffed, “And every story started with ‘Twilight’ so yeah, I got mad.” “I guess I did.” Rainbow allowed, “but the rest of the stuff. Gilda...” Rainbow wasn’t sure how to continue, she had put all the feelings and emotions to rest months ago. It was obvious that Gilda had not. “You know, I was so mad at this fist.” Gilda had changed tone, it was forced to a lighter sound, she was looking at her right hand, clenched, a pattern of scars stark across the tanned skin. “I think it first happened the night after I quit town. After I had punched...” She couldn’t bring herself to finish that thought. “I had stopped at some road bar and got drunk. Then all I could think about was you, and the pained look I left you with.” Gilda rubbed her knuckles against the table again. “Went on for weeks, then one day I was in some town. I was walking back to my digs and then there was this store and I looked across and I saw me. I saw angry stupid me, not gonna lie, I’d drunk some again, I punched the reflection.” She grimaced. “Smashed right through. I needed stitches and all sorts.” “Wow, G. I... Wow.” Rainbow shifted in her seat, she wanted to hold Gilda’s hand or something even though the event was so far gone. “Stupidest thing was, the place was full of smoke. I apparently saved the poor schmuck who was trapped in there.” Gilda grimaced. “I think I wanted to get in trouble with someone but I get a thanks and medical treatment.” She sat back, cried out; lifting her head she turned a look to Rainbow. “So, I booked it out of town and ended up nearly crashing into Outpost a few weeks later. I had got really sick.” “You, sick?” Rainbow looked concerned; they were both healthy and hadn’t even suffered long with childhood ills. “Some fever or something, I wasn’t exactly looking after myself.” Gilda shrugged. “Dad tracked me down there when I was in hospital. I had a gig with the oil worker flights when I got out and came here after that contract.” She looked Rainbow in the eye. “I came to say sorry to you. I am sorry y’know. I never wanted to hurt you like that.” Rainbow stood then and took the seat next to Gilda on the bench. “I forgive you.” Rainbow paused and put a hesitant arm around Gilda. “You really hurt me, I’ll admit that. More than the scratches and bruises. I felt like I deserved it... Twi’ convinced me otherwise.” She sighed. “G, I missed you and you’re right, we are like sisters. I don’t know if its Twi’ being a good influence on me, or what happened with my parents or what... But life’s too short to be mad at the people you love, especially when they come and say sorry.” “I don’t think I can promise I’ll never hurt your feelings again, but if we’re going to come to blows it’s gonna be sport not a beating.” Gilda said jokingly. “I don’t think Twi’ will let me box.” Rainbow chuckled, “She drew the line when me and AJ got the gear out.” Gilda grinned too. “Glad she’s looking after you.” Rainbow still had her arm around her, so Gilda slipped one around too. “I still love you, you know.” “I love you too G. You’re my sister for sure. Though I think you might also have to adopt Scoots. She’s my little sis.” Rainbow hugged a little harder. “I think I can manage that.” Gilda hugged harder too. “I really am sorry.” “I know G. I forgive you.” Rainbow smiled softly. -*- Twilight wasn’t spying or eavesdropping, she was just keeping an ear out to make sure the pair didn’t start fighting or get too upset. “Are you okay Twilight?” Spike had noticed her looking out of the window. “I’m fine Spike. Really great.” She was smiling. “They’ve fixed their friendship.” “Neat. So we’ll see more of Gilda then?” Spike sounded unsure, but he joined Twilight by the window. Rainbow hair mingled with stark white as the two were leaning against each other talking easily and smiling. “Probably Spike, but we’re going to help her make lots of friends here in Ponyville. She’s Rainbow’s family as much as Firefly and Dath are so we’ll make her welcome.” She looked down to find them both doubling over laughing and smiled. It had hurt Rainbow to lose a friend like Gilda but now she had her family back in her life. If Rainbow was happier, Twilight was too.