//------------------------------// // The Final Pone // Story: A Delightful Journey // by FeverishPegasus //------------------------------// I wake up to the prodding of Lyra's hoof. It isn't on any practical spots either, like my arm, or shoulder...even my head for that matter. She's prodding my hand. I snatch it away before any licking can commence. “Can a human let his guard down without getting violated in this place?” Lyra just glares at me. “You remember our deal don't you? Hand it over.” I pause for a moment not sure how to respond to the pun. “What?” she asks. “You just, you just...” I point at her, still not sure whether that pun she'd uttered was intentional. “Are you gonna give your hand over or what?” she says, completely oblivious to what had transpired. “I'm willing to use force if necessary.” Her eyes take on a dangerous ferocity. I sigh. “Whatever, but I actually want go somewhere today. I'm sure you enjoy touching my hand immensely, but for me, it can get really boring.” A thought strikes me. “Aren't you supposed to be street performing today?” “Nah, today is my day off.” I look at her skeptically. “You took like three days off when I first got here.” Lyra avoids my gaze. “Jeez, let a pony live for once.” I grin. “Can you really say that? I mean, you're kind of holding me as a slave here, forcing me to offer up my hand in return for a place to live. Let a human live for once.” Lyra bats at my face, I dodge. She says, “I water and feed you. Not to mention take you on very long walks. You've got it better than Fluttershy's pets!” I'm reminded of the yellow pegasus I'd seen in the marketplace quite some time ago, tending to her pets. “Does this Fluttershy have a pink mane and yellow fur?” “Yeah, how'd you know?” “I remember seeing her in the marketplace my first time out and about.” “She stuck out to you didn't she?” “Yeah.” She nods knowingly. “All six of them do.” I list them off, “Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Twilight, and Pinkie.” Ahahaha, how could I forget about Pinkie. “Who’s the last one? “Rarity.” “Aaaand, what's she like? What sticks out about her?” “She's definitely a stick in the eye.” Lyra sighs. “Don’t get me wrong, she gives all of the ponies in Ponyville a bunch of free stuff...it’s just, something about her seems...so insincere.” “I can see why that would be irritating.” A pause. “If you want to see for yourself, I could take you to Carousel Boutique.” I grin. “A trip there sounds better than what you've got planned for my hands.” I can already feel my fingers going numb due to my blood circulation being cut off. While Lyra knows full well that I’m not going to snatch my hand from her, she likes to pin my arm down regardless, preventing blood flow to my hand. Little needles prick my fingers, but I'm too amused at her catlike antics to really do anything. Lyra protests. “Ah shut up. Once they go dead and cold I'll let you recover.” “Sure you will.” After another hour of hand-prodding and petting we finally make it to Carousel Boutique. A pony's voice chimes in from the counter at the back as we enter through an ornate purple door. “Hello! Welcome to Carousel Boutique! Feel free to browse, chat, or simply sleep!” I hear the voice whisper to itself a few seconds later, “Oh dear, let’s not use that catchphrase again.” “Is that her?” I ask, looking at the white coated, purple maned pony, sewing a dress behind the counter. I could see she did well hiding it in her voice, but one look at her furrowed brow told me she was stressed out. I wonder where her workers are? “Yeah,” Lyra responds, a great amount of disdain in her voice. “She looks busy, we shouldn't bother her.” I walk up to the counter, unfazed. On the way, I can't help but admire the simple swirls designs on the carpet below me. They fit this atmosphere so well. I make it to the counter and clear my throat. The fashionable pony looks up at me, her eyes a little bloodshot. She doesn't seem very surprised by my odd form, no doubt because of the countless rumors that had spread throughout Ponyville. “Could make some gloves for me?” She looks at me, confused. “Gloves?” Without waiting for me to respond, she continues. “Whatever these gloves are, I'm sure I could make them for you, but I've got such a backlog of orders on me, I doubt I could get them to you any sooner than next week. Is that okay?” “Yeah,” I say, a little dissapointed. “Alrighty then,” she plops down the dress she had been working on. “What are these gloves supposed to look like?” I hold out my hand. “It's pretty much cloth that covers all of my digits,”- I wiggle my fingers -”as well as up to my wrist.” Rarity levitates some tape measure up to her. I can't help but rub my eyes at the sight of it. “What do you want me to do?” “Oh, just hold your hand up to me dear.” I lift my hand towards Rarity. “Like this?” “Perfect.” She gives me a brilliant smile and proceeds to measure my hand. I feel a small irritating sensation on the back of my neck and turn around. I can see Lyra staring at me with unabashed jealousy in her eyes. Slowly, I turn back around, hoping to keep the situation at a low simmer. While doing the measurements, Rarity says, “I've never seen your type in Ponyville before. I’ve heard rumors, of course, but to actually meet you in person is nothing short of exciting! How exactly did you get to Ponyville? I'm dying to know.” I scratch my head with my other hand. “I'm not really sure, to be honest.” “Surely you must remember something.” “I don't mean to dissapoint you, but all I remember is that I woke up in this strange place with a serious head wound.” I pause for a moment. “It was painful.” “Ohhh my,” Rarity fawns over me. “You're better now I hope? I just couldn't have a new visitor in so much pain under Ponyville's regal hospitality. It'd be such a shame! Still, you look like you’re fine.” “I am.” I smile at her. “But, I admit, those first few days were agonizing. So much so that I had to keep my body still, or else my head would cause me nauseating pain. I even contemplated ending it all, right then and there!” “Oh my, you don't mean to tell me--” I nod in response. “They were some difficult times.” “Goodness gracious! You're definitely one tough creature!” Rarity taps her chin in thought for a second. “Y'know, how about I make you these gloves for free? If it could do anything to sate the scars you might have left after your encounter, I'd be glad to help.” My eyes widen. “Oh nonono. I'm perfectly fine now. Stronger even.” Rarity shushes me. “Dear, don't make excuses. I'll have these gloves made for you in no time, and what's better? All for free!” “Ehehehe.” I scuff my foot on the floor. “If you wouldn't have it any other way...” “Nonsense darling, run along now. I've got work to do if I'm going to get your gloves done any time soon!” Rarity waves me off. Slowly, abashedly, I walk out with Lyra, who had been waiting by the doorway with an ugly frown on her face. I notice, however, a smirk take the place of her foul disposition. She remarks, “You're a tricky little devil.” Guiltily, I shove my hands into my pockets and glance away. “I didn't mean to get the gloves for free, honest.” “Yeah?” “If you must know, I was just trying to get some sympathy from that mare. With the faces you've been making in my direction, it should be no surprise.” Lyra snorts. “You sound so regal, saying phrases like 'if you must know' and 'it should be no surprise'. What are you trying to do? Justify your devilish actions by speaking about them in fancy words?” I shove her. “Nooo. But that doesn't matter. It's okay to lay it on thick to get some sympathy from others isn't it? I mean, it makes me feel happy.” “You've got to watch out for the other pony too though. You don't want poor Rarity staying up at night, worrying about something that didn't really happen to you do you?” “I did go through a lot of pain that first day.” “I know, but I seriously doubt you actually considered,”- Lyra puts her hooves up as quotations -”ending it all, right then and there.” I kick at the ground. “You're right.” “Lies can serve their purposes but--” “Lyra,” I interrupt her. “Please stop with the lecturing, I get your point.” “Okay.” It was on the fourth day of Yesteryear that Lyra Heartstrings and I, The Human, ventured forth boldly into what may be known as the land that holds all evil, renown for its corruption due solely to its one, despicable, deplorable, indescribable inhabitant. Knowing full well of the horrors that awaited them in such a terrifying place, both creatures looked to each other with synonymous looks of courage, their eyes glinting with the resolve to finally confront the demon that had plagued their homeland, just three days earlier. Both Lyra and I walk into Sugarcube corner, watching as, right on cue, Pinkie Pie comes bouncing up to us, hyped on sugar, and ready to quickly overwhelm us with countless words of expertly misplaced themes. With a surgeon's precision, I manage to blurt out, “How's it going Pinkie?” before she so much as gets a chance to embarrass us. She freezes. The concept that she doesn't need to be the start of every conversation almost shuts her down completely. Unfortunately for us, she recovers. “Great! Thanks for asking!” She gasps, figuring out what she was going to say earlier. “You wanna know about something great that happened to me today?!” “That depends,” Lyra remarks dryly. “Does it involve human and pony foal hybrids?” “Nope.” “Okay then, be my guest.” Quickly, Lyra adds, “But please be gentle.” Her eyes waver with fear. No doubt, my expression mirrors hers at that crucial moment. “I got socks!” “Cool?” I say, not sure how to react. “Yep. Totally cool. I'm going to wear them every Wednesday and start up a whole new fashion trend! Once everypony sees me kickin' it with hooves all padded up, they're sure to be jealous, just you wait and see!” I smirk. “I like this idea.” A thought strikes me. “But...I want you to do something for me.” “What's that?” “If this fashion trend picks up, I want to make sure you keep in mind that--” I pause for dramatic effect. “--I wore socks before it was cool. I mean seriously, look.” I pull up my pant leg to show Pinkie that I'm still wearing socks. “Oooh, I see. I'll definitely make sure to keep that in mind.” Pinkie suddenly gets distracted by something at the back of the store. “Cya! I've got to go check out something indiscriminate at the back of the store that neither you nor the reader care about!” She bounces off. (Oh. My. Gosh. So that's what she meant at the time.) “Who's this reader she's talking about?” I ask Lyra. “Beat's me.” A pause. “What are we doing just standing here?! There are cupcakes to enjoy!” We eat cupcakes. Both of us leave Sugarcube Corner, our stomachs' full of unhealthy treats, no doubt bound to give us stomachaches hours later. In just half a minute, the afternoon sun warms us to the point of nausea, already offering us premonitions of our soon-to-be consequences. My stomach gurgles. “Uh oh.” Lyra's echoes in response. I look over to see that her face has gone from pale mint green to a slightly paler mint green. She turns toward me, her expression desperate. “Let's hurry, I'm not feeling too good.” “Yeah,” I barely respond, holding in the bile fated to come out. Practically breaking down the door, I barrel through the entrance to Lyra's house and make a dive for the bathroom sink. Bon Bon jumps in fright as I rush past her a fall just inches short of the sink, emptying my stomach's contents on the floor. “Sorry,” I moan. Right after I say that, Lyra barrels in, frightening Bon Bon for a second time. The green pony makes a dive for the sink, just like me, but at the last second, trips over my prone body and slides face first into the bathtub. A dull thunk resounds throughout the house, followed by disgusting vomiting sounds. “Dangit human,” she growls, out of breath. “I would've made it if you weren't laying there.” “Sorry,” I say again, too weak to try and defend myself. Though the corner of my eye, I see Bon Bon rushing off to get a mop, her hooves skimpering rapidly to match the speed of the situation. Seconds later, she comes back, a mop, bucket, and pair of towels resting on her back. She tosses the pair of towels towards us. “Get up,” she says, her voice snappy. We both get up slowly, trying to keep our footing, towels in hand, or in Lyra's case, her mouth. On my way to Lyra's room, I see Bon Bon slip on a bit of my vomit. With a sickening squelch, her face hits my main bile puddle. I want to laugh, but restrain myself, finally walking into the room after Lyra, shutting the door behind me. There's nothing to do but look at the floor with glazed eyes, hoping for my body to recover. “I swear. You ponies should've learned of some instant remedies while figuring out levitation.” “I do know a pon-errr-zebra that could do that, but she lives in Everfree Forest.” I look at Lyra, my eyes widening. “Your kind really does have a solution to everything. Why can’t we meet her though, it can’t be that far away.” “Weeeelll. The Everfree Forest does have its Timber-wolves...and cockatrices...and--” “Wait, cockatrices? What're those?” “Dragon chicken hybrids,” Lyra says, matter of factly. “That doesn't sound so--” “The thing is--” “They breath fire?” Lyra's eyes bulge with anger. “No! Let me speak. They turn you to stone if you look them in the eyes. Like, seriously.” “Like, instantly?” “Yep.” “You just don't have to look at them right?” I say, acting as if this creature wasn't all that bad. “Yeah, but when you're in a dark forest with a bunch of scary sounds, you're going to be looking at everything.” “And there's no way you could make glasses for these creatures huh?” “Nope, anything you can see out of won't protect you.” “That's overpowered.” “...I guess you could say that.” I scratch my head in thought. “How does Zecora survive then?” “She's got her ways.” I frown at Lyra. “Seriously. Are you trying to crush my hopes and dreams of meeting a zebra with instant curing abilities?” She looks at me as if I'd gone crazy. “Are you trying to get us killed?” Before our argument can escalate, I hear a tap tap tapping on Lyra's window. A pink hoof is beating at the glass, somewhat fervently. Lyra opens her window just as Pinkie Pie lifts her head up. A bonk resonates throughout the room as the window and the pink pony’s skull connects. I look over in to see Pinkie Pie's eyes cross right before she collapses to the ground. Once again, I suppress the urge to laugh. Lyra looks at me, barely restrained mirth etched on her face. “Oops,” she squeaks out before breaking out into uncontrolled laughter. I try to keep the situation serious. “C'mon Lyra, you could've given her a concussion.” At that, the right side of my lip twitches before finally giving in to laughter. We come to our senses about ten seconds later. “We should probably make sure she's okay,” I say. “Yeah yeah.” We peek over the window to see her waking up. “Strange really,” Pinkie yawns. “I swear I just got hit by a window.” Lyra gives a short, sharp snort. “Ehehe, that was probably your imagination.” “I am prone to taking naps in random places. Very unexpectedly too. It's always right in front of hard metal objects though. Funny...” she trails off in thought. Lyra's face stretches down in horror. “Pinkie I--” “No matter!” she squeals. “I just came to tell you that I might've, could've, should'nt've, done something to those cupcakes you ate.” She hoofs at the ground, embarrassed. I glare at her, my tone of voice suddenly going deadly. “You didn't.” She smiles at me nervously. “I might've dabbled a bit of...a bit of...” “Go on...” “Well, you know...you know...a bit of...arsenic.” “Arsenic huh?” “Yeah...arsenic.” I look at Lyra to see her mouth agape. Clearly she hadn't seen this one coming. “And you didn't realize after your first experience in feeding customers arsenic that doing so was a bad thing?” “Well, you see. It was just a smidge. Smaller than last time actually. All I wanted was to give that extra nutty--” I sigh. “Could you make me a promise?” “That depends,” she says cautiously. “If you want to have my soul, send me to a place called Earth, tell me to sign the terms and agreements, have me wage war against the Zorgons, or get me to protest with a picket sign at an old mare's convention the answer to you is get in line.” “Wha?” “It's one of my shorter stories actually. You see--” “Nonono,” I protest. “Please don't tell me any stories right now. All I want you to do is stop putting arsenic in your cupcakes. For my sake, as well as all of the ponies in Ponyville's sake.” “No problem!” She starts to bounce away, but stops. “So all's forgiven then?” “Yeah, as long as you don't break your promise.” “Kay!” With that, she goes for a roadrunner exit. We sit in silence for a few seconds. “You smell like vomit,” Lyra remarks. I chuckle. “Let’s get washed up.” Alas, as quickly as this day's adventures had started, the end came rushing in. I had but the chance to give Lyra's hoof a simple poke before passing out on my hastily arranged blankets, drowsiness getting the better of me. Quick! Get over here! We've got a response! Really? So soon? Turns out the brain...much more responsive to...than expected. That so huh? Yes sir. He can hear us too. Really? Hello? Are you there? He can't respond. It won't last for long ei “You stood up to them, huh?” Mom says, brushing the bruise on my cheek. “Very brave of my son.” “Well. I kinda stood up to them. Enough for him to run. The bully punched me after that, so I ran too.” She chuckles. “You should still be proud. Not many get as far as you do.” “I kinda wish I was still that 'not many.' What am I going to do now? The bully will pick on me for sure now.” “Don't worry hon, I'll get the school to handle it.”