I waited with the prisoners in an anteroom off the main hall while the chief and the ponies yapped it out.
Boomer merely told us to not touch anything and wait around to be summoned. The three curs were happy to do so, still intoxicated with the scent of future hound-hood. I don’t see how being a hound is great as all that, myself. The pack expects a lot more of you in return for a shinier collar.
It was just as well that it kept them in line, though. The ambassador, in his wisdom, had ordered me to remove their obedience collars before the audience with the giant. This made things very boring. I finally gave up waiting like a good dog and joined the curs with their ears pressed to the door.
The giant’s castle looks like it’s grown out of crystal, but I can’t identify exactly what it’s made of. Whatever it is, the doors really carry sound. A big oversight, if you ask me. I could hear Boomer clear as a bell on the other side.
“…And whenever we accumulate a stockpile of gems of sufficient size, a gang of dragons will arrive to extort them from us. When we fought back, nearly everything flammable in Diamondia was destroyed and many Diamond Dogs are seriously wounded or missing.”
“You just immediately fought it out?” said one of the normal ponies. “Didn’t you at least try to talk about it first?”
All four of us at the door rolled our eyes.
“Yeah,” another pony said, “Why do Diamond Dogs like gems ‘n jewels ‘n stuff so much, anyway? Dog-dogs don’t. Dragons gotta eat them… eat the jewels, I mean, not the doggies.”
“I’m pretty sure they can do both, sugarcube,” a different pony said.
“Dragons don’t usually go out of their way to just steal things from populated areas, either,” said the giant. “Are you certain none of the Diamond Dogs took anything from a dragon’s hoard?”
Ugh. Leave it to a pony to sympathize with dragons.
“Your highness,” Boomer said, “we came to you because ponies have magic. Ponies can resist the dragons. Dogs cannot; we can only hide or yield or perish. Dragons know this. They have no reason to listen to parley or fear us in numbers. We are helpless and exploited!”
Fido frowned at this. “The hound shouldn’t call the pack weak.”
I shushed him with a growl. “Very Good Hound Boomer says whatever he has to say to make good things happen for the pack. That is his special duty.”
The giant began speaking beyond the door again.
“Do you have any proof of these claims, ambassador?” she asked. “Even if I were to aid you personally rather than involving the rest of Equestria, I can’t act on just your say-so.”
“Of course! Merely journey to Diamondia, three days’ travel for one with the power of flight, and see for yourself what they have done to us, if there is still anything left by now,” Boomer said. “Your friend knows the way.”
“I do, but I still don’t see why we should take sides in this,” a surly pony voice replied. “Dogs, dragons; they both try to take advantage of us if they think they can get away with it. If they want to destroy each other now, why can’t we just sit back, make some popcorn and hope they both win?”
“Rainbow Dash!” another pony scolded. “This is an entire nation we’re talking about!”
The three prisoners’ ears pricked up at the voice.
“Is that…?” Spot asked.
Fido nodded. “I think so.”
“Miss Rarity!” said Rover with a shudder.
“There are bad Diamond Dogs out there, I won’t pretend there aren’t,” the pony continued. “And there are bad dragons too. But there are also dragons like Spikey-wikey! I refuse to believe that we should write off an entire kingdom just because we’ve met some… some bad eggs.”
Fido looked touched. “She remembers us!”
She did, and yet she was speaking up for us dogs against a fellow pony. What a messed-up society! Without their huge advantage in magic, allowing upstarts and dissenters like this would have broke them apart and ruined them long ago. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, it’s just that dogs know better than to allow things like this in their own packs. Thank the Alphas ponies didn’t!
“Rarity’s right,” said a strange voice. It sounded like it was trying to imitate the squeaky, chirpy pony accent, but not quite succeeding. “Dragons will do all the things he said, especially when the first hoarding instinct hits them. You all saw how it went when, uh, when….”
“Shh, say no more, we understand,” the one called Rarity consoled.
“Yeah, and dogs’ll pony-nap ponies when they find one alone,” Rainbow Dash retorted. “The dogs in this kingdom were holding Trixie against her will when I came out there.”
We could hear the chief sigh from all the way from the main hall. “Please understand, what happened with our latest queen was merely a problem of miscommunication. Any ill-will and deception were not on our part.”
“You had her trapped! She wasn’t able to leave your kingdom!”
“She freely chose to accept the throne, and she was kept there only by her unwillingness to admit that she could not perform the duties of her office,” Boomer stated.
“Nuh-uh,” Rainbow Dash said. “We had to do this whole crazy plan just to get her out. You think we believe you’d just let her walk out the gate after she made you treat her like a queen for a month?”
“What would we have done?” Boomer asked, “smash her face-first against the edge of our domain over and over like you did? I assure you, Diamond Dogs aren’t that cruel.”
I remember when that happened. It was hilarious! The pony didn’t think so, though.
“I bet you would’ve torn her to pieces or something!” she yelled. “Every one of you we’ve met has been trying to control ponies. First with force, then with that magic crown, and now with words. We’re not falling for it!”
I have no idea how the chief keeps his voice so calm and even when arguing, but he does, and it is almost scary. Normal dogs bark and growl, and even ponies raise their squeaky voices. However he does it, it always makes him sound right, like voice-magic or something. It’s eerie. The louder the angry pony got, the quieter and more peaceful Boomer sounded. “Your highness,” he said, “I dearly wish we could simply speak with the dragons and come to a peaceful resolution, but when even your subjects, kind and open-minded as only ponies can be, are unwilling to give us a fair hearing, how can we expect better from dragons? If—”
His voice-trick was clearly getting to the Rainbow pony. “Shut up!” she interrupted. “Shut your mouth, take your pack and get out of Equestria right now! You guys are all the same; nothing but trouble!”
“Rainbow Dash!” another pony scolded, “Cool your jets.”
“I can certainly understand how you may have reached this conclusion,” Boomer said. “Let me provide a counter-example. Your highness, may my companions enter?”
“What? Oh, sure. Spike, go get the other dogs, would you?”
I stood and pulled the other three away from the door. “That’s our cue, pups,” I said. “Now I want you three quiet as dead mice and looking proper sorry for whatever you did to the giant’s little friend. The chief will handle the talking.”
The three curs wagged and nodded excitedly.
I smacked them all upside the head with one sweep of my paw. “I said, ‘look sorry!’ Tails low, eyes down, jaws shut!”
Just as they got in shape, the door opened and this little purple and green dragon slithered his head through. “Hey guys, they want you to come in now,” the dragon said in that weird pony-parody voice.
I drew back with a snarl. So the ponies had a tiny dragon working for them? And as a butler too? Well, I guess it means we came to the right place. I mean, who ever heard of taming a dragon? Where’d they even get it?
I got over my surprise pretty quick, but the dragon still gave me some strange looks. “Alright curs, move out! No funny business!” I barked, and we all trooped off to the castle’s main hall behind the dragon as fast as it could go on those little stubby legs.
We arrived at a room I was almost certain was too large to actually fit inside the building. Probably more crazy pony magic at work. There was also crazy pony architecture. The chamber’s major feature was a round table with six big rock thrones around it and another smaller rock chair that the dragon crawled into. It looked more like a really upscale restaurant than a throne room. Our chief had a smaller wooden chair provided for him, but he wasn’t using it. Boomer likes to pace.
“Behold,” he said with a wave as we made our entrance, “the difference between good Diamond Dogs and bad ones. I believe you’ve had dealings with these three before?”
“Oh my!” the white unicorn gasped.
Fido began to wave at her, but I stepped on his paw until he remembered his role.
The rainbow-colored one raised an eyebrow. “Where’d you find those dogs? Your chancellor guy said those three were kicked out of the pack.”
“We stumbled across these three criminals stalking within the borders of your lands.”
“But why bring them back here?” the giant asked.
Boomer smiled, carefully keeping his teeth hidden. “We understand these Diamond Dogs are criminal kidnappers. We deliver them to your justice to show that we have nothing to do with bad dogs like that. Is this acceptable?”
The ponies looked back and forth at each other, like they didn’t know what to do. “Um, thanks, I guess?” said the giant. “We’d normally just expel them or something. Banishment to Tartarus is a bit too severe.”
Ponies thought sending Diamond Dogs to the underworld was a punishment? I snickered in spite of myself. I think the giant noticed, though.
Then, the pony the prisoners had recognized spoke up. “If I may, since I was the pony kidnapped, can I say something?”
The giant nodded. “Sure, Rarity.”
The pony chewed her lip before continuing. “I know that these three dogs haven’t been actually tried or sentenced or anything, and we all know what they did anyway, but… I think they’ve already paid for what they did, haven’t they? I wasn’t hurt, and they let us keep all those lovely gems they dug up. I think you should call it even.”
Her ruler smiled. “That’s very forgiving of you, Rarity. Okay, then. As a princess of Equestria, I officially pardon these three Diamond Dogs. Go in peace and don’t grab any more ponies, alright?”
Well I’ll be. The chief had been telling those idiots the truth. I guess he does that sometimes. I wasn’t looking forward to actually having these losers as pack-mates again.
Rover, Spot and Fido were wagging and nodding enthusiastically to the giant while Boomer stepped back to the fore. “I trust we’ve made our point, your highness?” he said, making it look as if he were really pleased to take these curs back into the pack. “Do you feel you can trust us now?”
The giant leaned back on her throne and tapped the tips of her front hooves together. “The only thing I’m sure of is that I don’t know the first thing about Diamond Dogs, ambassador. You’ve personally done a very good job appealing to us ponies, but none of your followers seem to think like you. They’re just following the leader. What if you're, ah,” and then she glanced right at me, “ ‘saying whatever you have to say to help the pack?’ What if those three are just ‘looking sorry?’ ”
I couldn't meet her eyes.
The giant turned her gaze back to Boomer. "I still don't believe we know what Diamond Dogs are really like. How can we be friends with strangers?”
Worthless stinking tail-chase! I knew this whole thing was a boondoggle! Boomer had hurt the pack by wasting time and dogs trying to get ponies to help us against the dragons. If there was still a Diamondia to return to, He'd get in big trouble for this failure... and so would I if he realized the giant had overheard me.
But Boomer hadn’t given up hope yet. “Of course, your highness,” he said, bowing. “What may we do to help you understand who we are?”
The giant got this gleam in her big purple eyes. “Actually, ambassador, I’ve come up with a few ideas since this morning….”
Everything pretty much went downhill from there.