//------------------------------// // Entry #26 // Story: Human in Pony's clothing // by TheDawsonator1 //------------------------------// I got to say, I miss human technology a bit. No internet, can’t watch MLP for reference data, have to rely on pure memory alone. No phone or computer, not that either would be any use here as there are no connections here in Equestria I could connect to. Video games require electricity and all, I’m not sure how magic would go with it… But still, I miss it, despite all the flaws the human race has, we at least have some good inventions we can get hooked into. So I was on the train for the Crystal Empire, why was that you ask? Well I did tell Celestia about Equestria Girls and she thought I should go just in case, I mean I don’t know if I want to enter that mirror but I’ll easily have the most experience of that world and since I wasn’t born in Equestria, I shouldn’t have a EQ counterpart running around. Of course Firefly and Cloud Kicker got to come and see the Empire while I was playing Time Vigilante basically. An Idea occurred to me, maybe I should convince Princess Cadence to make sure me and Firefly do our thing without interruption with her love magic or something? Nah! That would be a misuse of power. “So, what’s happening tommorow?” CK asked “Might go see the Crystal castle and all” I replied “It’s amazing how a castle disappears for 1000 years isn’t it” Firefly asked me] “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind seeing myself all crystal-like again, I looked badflank!” I said remembering my brief Crystal body “Yeah and you totally went without us!” Firefly pointed a hoof at me “Well there was a Evil King running around the empire and I don’t think I’d forgive myself if something happened to you girls, plus he’s scary as buck” I said “Whatever, I reckon we’d of been fine” CK yawned “You sound like Rainbow Dash” I pointed out “Think what you want, Sombra wouldn’t of stood a chance anyways” CK scoffed Thankfully, the train ride was over. We were given rooms in the castle thanks to Twilight and Princess Cadence as a thanks for the Changeling’s defeat and all. I don’t know what it is about trains but they make me so Celestia-damned sleepy. Later that Night… “STOP THAT THIEF!” I heard a voice sounding like Twilight coming nearer Wuzzgoingon? Who dares disturb my slumber? Hoofsteps…galloping ones that seem to be chased…THE PLOT!!! I ran outside just to see an Mare streak past followed by Twilight and I realized Equestria Girls is happening, well better play the part and chase. “COME BACK WITH THE CROWN YOU THIEF!” I yelled dramatically as I gave chase along with the others About a minute later the mare entered the mirror with an evil grin on her face, before she left she was all like “Sorry it has to be this way, Princess” “Who was that?” The question was asked I’m surprised nopony asked me, I am of course the one stallion that knows what happens until the end of Season 4 but nooooooo, nopony ever asks the all-knowing Lightning Bolt! So is this scene transition thing happening anytime soon? Any second now… “Sunset Shimmer” Celestia said “What?” Twilight asked in Confusion “She was a former pupil of mine just before yourself but she was displeased with the results and came greedy and dishonest and disappeared through the mirror” Celestia explained “What is it with you and evil-doers?” I asked rhetorically “This mirror is no ordinary mirror…” Luna started You don’t say? We saw a mare run right through the damned thing, unless Mirrors always lead to other worlds and I’ve been blind the whole time. “…This mirror leads to alternate reality where Sunset Shimmer now calls home, we have no idea what is waiting for you on the other side though” Luna finished explaining “I had hoped Sunset Shimmer would come back and seek guidance, but it’s clear this is not the case” Celestia sighed “You knew about this didn’t you Bolty?” Firefly asked “Yep, even told Celestia to increase the guards in case things went south like with the Changelings” I said “So, the plan is to go through the mirror and get my crown back?” Twilight asked “That’s correct, however you must do this task in three days before the moon reaches it’s highest point or else you’ll be stuck forever” Luna said showing a picture “So I can never return if I fail?” Twilight asked “You can return in 30 moons or basically 2 and a half years” I said “All right, no time like the present, let’s go!” Dash said excitedly “I’m so NERVA-CITED!!” Pinkie said Nerva-citedly “That’s not a real word Pinkie” AJ deadpanned “I cannot allow you to enter” Celestia said “WHAT?” The Mane six yelled “If I let you all go in then it will disrupt the balance of both worlds making it impossible for Twilight to retrieve her crown, this is a task she must do ALONE” Celestia explained Twilight hesitantly walked in while her friends gave encouragement as she stepped in the portal, Spike than chased after her “SPIKE!” everypony yelled Too late! Spike ran in after her! Oh the Tartarus with it, I need to be human again for a while! If I don’t come back, play the song of time and rescue me! “FOR NARRRNNIIIAAAA!” I yelled as I galloped into the portal “BOLTY!!” CK and Firefly yelled as I jumped in Dawn of the First Day, 72 hours remain… WOOOOOOOAAAAAAAH MY HEAD IS SPINNING!! OW! I landed on ground hard and had the worst headache, what is it with inter-dimensional travel being so taxing on the body? When I arrived in Equestria I landed from above the trees and it weren’t for a few branches and stuff I’d of broken every bone in my body. Fucking physics screwing us over as usual…wait a moment…did I just swear Humanly again? YES!!! I CAN SWEAR NORMALLY AGAIN! FUCK SHIT CUNT EVERYTHING! I AM THE MASTER OF SWEARING AGAIN! BOW BEFORE MY SWEARING SUPERIOTY! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! “AHHHHHHHHHHH!” I heard Twilight scream next to me. AHHHHHHH! MY EARS! JESUS TWILIGHT!! I need those you know, I know you just discovered hands which is basically means you’re in Lyra Heartstrings lucid dream but do you have to scream so loud? I’ve got a bad enough hangover from Inter-dimensional travel. “I didn’t need those ears anyway” I muttered Yes and now we witness Twilight having a huge panic attack, if she attended Earth high schools, god she would freak out once every few weeks at maximum, I can see it now. “Lightning, what’re you doing here?” Spike asked “Er, just keeping Timeline in check you know, for all we know something could happen like with the Changelings” I said “Fair Point” Spike said “But I came mostly to be human again” I explained my motive “Hu-what?” Twilight asked confused “Human, what I originally was! Well this isn’t the same Human I am, this is sort of like a Pony-Human Hybrid world with a Human definite dominating technology so basically I know more about this world’s working than both of you and plus I watched the movie” I explained “I thought this was a TV show?” Spike asked “Yes but this place is basically a Movie spin-off between Season 3 and Season 4, bronies didn’t like it that much but I did a fair bit” I said “Your world is weird” Spike said “Yeah, well at least I’m not downgraded to a dog that isn’t meant to be talking right now” I shot back You’re gonna need a lot of ice for that burn, BEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAATCH!!!! But yeah, poor Spike, fire breathing dragon gets downgraded to a mere pony while Twilight gets to talk and have the human conveniences and everything.. Ain’t nobody respecting Dragons like they used to, especially Skyrim! I miss the days when they’d guard Princesses and shit and some Shining Armor-like guy would save her and then they live happily ever after, no bullshit attached. Of course we all know that ain’t happening. So me, I kept my pony colours, no clothes I had from earth, just a shirt with lightning and my cutie mark on it and some cargo pants with Blue runners. I’m a simplistic guy so I like this, and thank god they gave us clothes on our arrival or this would be totally awkward. Twilight started going towards the “Castle” like a pony which looked absolutely hilarious, if only I had a camera. “What’s so funny?” Twilight asked me “Well it’s the way you move, you’re trying to be a pony but you haven’t noticed we are bipedal which means 2 legs and you looked absolutely ridiculous and especially with a dog on your back” I explained Twilight looked around and saw another human looking at Twilight like she was drunk or something before she corrected herself hastily. She then proceeded to try keep her balance and if nature wasn’t such a jerk, she would of tried without the high heeled boots, seriously though, how do girls wear that? Mystery of the female gender I will never figure out #3405707305730, no those weren’t random numbers… Anyway after and epic face meeting door action and a musical, it’s about time I stop laughing at Twilight’s new form thing and get down to business…actually fuck that, she can do it herself and I’ll be plan B in case this goes south. So I heard Bitchset Shimmer bullying Fluttershy and my brony senses were coming back and they wanted to nice slow painful death for bullying Fluttershy. NOONE BULLYS FLUTTERSHY, YOU HEAR ME? NO ONE! THERE WILL BE SO MUCH BLOOD FOR THIS CRIME!!! But Twilight went after her and I just walked the other way? What? She’ll be fine! What’s the worst that can happen? Ah Crap… “So how did meeting Principal Celestia go?” I asked “Well, I have to do this Princess of the Fall Formal thing to get my crown back” Twilight explained “I don’t get why you couldn’t of just explained the situation to Celestia” Spike said “Spike, would you believe any one of these humans if they appeared in Equestria looking like us claiming that they’re from a different world and the crown is actually magical?” Twilight asked Spike “Uh…your point is well seen” Spike realized why “And that summed up me hiding this brony thing in a nutshell” I muttered “But back to the matter at hoof-“ Twilight started “Okay Imma stop you right there, first thing, it’s hand Twilight, hands, those things Lyra has a fetish for. Second, no ponies okay? No Anypony or nopony, it’s anyone, everyone or everybody and last but not least, you’re on your own, I’m going to explore this place to see all the similarities to my world” I interrupted “Are you sure? But what if you can’t find me?” Twilight asked worriedly “Don’t worry, I’ll know where to find you” I said assuringly as I went off Well, Twilight can have her fun but I’m not wasting this opportunity to be human to play a story I already know how it goes, it’s time I explored this place and do some things I haven't done in ages...