After pondering the implications of connecting two subsystems in that particular hardware configuration, I finally decided it was time to review what I did wrong.
And I don’t mean the miscalculated value of the bipolar junction transistor gain.
It was clearly wrong to react to that guard in that way. I had never really gotten angry like that before, not since Dwayne. It held very worrying and conflicting feelings for me. They had given me ample warning at first, so it wasn’t as if I was completely blameless, just that… that guard had flipped a switch and I couldn’t resist the temptation to do something about it.
Without doubting, without reviewing, I had carelessly sunk into my former lifestyle, one I had promised Emilia I wouldn’t do. Tears of regret grew at the corners of my eyes as I madly dashed them away.
Never again, I thought to myself but even my thoughts did not hold the firm conviction that I so desperately needed. I found my mind longing for Angel, Paul and Dmitri.
My friends, I forlornly called in my mind. Do you miss me?
Sighing, I slumped back against the hard surface of the wall, letting guilt weigh on my shoulders once again.
Where is your responsibility? I asked myself. What happened to all those people you were responsible for? Get back. You have to get back.
My eyes, wavering until now, firmed with resolve again.
There will be a way out, I thought. There will be redemption.
-----
Pinkie gazed absently at the slowly changing scene through the glass window. The train moved at a sedately pace, content with the scheduled arrival time it would keep. Trees passed by, birds swooped and trilled excitedly and gaily. The scene was one that would fill anypony with happiness.
But though her friends saw her smile and her outwardly happy disposition, they felt a sort of distance from Pinkie that they hadn’t encountered before.
Pinkie was thinking about the fascinating being-with-no-name. Though he seemed humorous, intelligent, friendly and kind, she could not help but feel as if he was holding everypony at arm’s length, as if afraid a relationship with anypony would be a betrayal. She felt a conflict in his psyche, as if he held a mountain of responsibility, self-imposed, and the only thing that stopped his world collapsing was a sense of purpose... no matter how contrary.
Pinkie had never met a being with such a complex personality, one that she couldn’t immediately identify. Even Cranky Doodle, though he had been a tough and gruff character, was just like granite in the rain. Over time and with patience she wore down his hard exterior and eventually she got him to smile.
But whenever Pinkie thought she got the strange persona that wrapped up in an enigma to smile, she felt that it was, although sincere, a little too empty for her liking. It upset her and she unconsciously distanced herself away from him. Now it seemed, the problem was doing the same between her and her friends.
This time she could not arrange for a party, organise her many and myriad array of friends or bake a sugary treat that would cure-all. The smile she pulled would come out empty again and she was afraid of that the most. A smile, what she wanted for everypony the most in the world, had to come from their heart not from the mind.
And she feared that a broken heart couldn’t do that at all.
-----
It was early in the morning when I was summoned to meet the Princesses. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. After all, now I had a little guilt both real and psychological. They had sent two new guards to fetch me. I noticed a healthy contingent waited outside. It seems that my actions hadn’t gone unnoticed. I felt a surge of pleasure in that before I could beat it down.
The night before had been a cocktail of stress and fitful sleep. At times I would spend about half an hour staring at the walls, then I would switch to scratching yet more diagrams, then I would lay open-eyed on my lumpy straw mattress and then I would capture fractured sleep.
It was a kind of wearing insomnia that ate at me. So when they pulled me out, I was in a half-awake and half-asleep state and I was as compliant as playdough. I think I felt palatable relief from the guards around me as I cooperated. My shin still hurt immensely and I limped along with the soldiers, they had to force themselves at a slower pace.
I was grateful, I guess, that they were so accommodating.
As I was led from the dungeons, I took a better look at my surroundings. The castle held a little of the characteristics and designs from the old castle I had stayed in, with rich tapestries hung here and there and chandeliers that hung from the ceiling and ornaments that lay on miscellaneous furniture that decorated the halls in somebody’s upper class taste.
I had been led through a series of side passages, which I figured was to avoid the main populace who lived here, towards a set of grand (oak I think?) double doors. A dim glow wrapped around the doors as they slowly creaked open and I couldn’t help but feel awed by the casual display of magic. Technology could do the same for sure but the scientist in me was ever so curious about new and wondrous phenomena.
Beyond the door, two baffling and strange creatures stood before me and I immediately recognised them.
To the left was a white winged unicorn with a flowing rainbow mane and tail that sparkled and shimmered to some unseen wind. It reminded me of the movement of a solar flare, majestic and powerful but existing with casual destructive ease. She was one of the depicted mythological creatures that I had seen in the faded tapestries of the old castle I had stayed in.
To the right was a midnight blue winged unicorn with a flowing dark blue, almost black mane and tail, scintillating with a mirage of dark hued colours that reflected a subdued light, that vaguely reminded me of starlight and the night sky, for some reason. She was the other that was depicted in the ancient tapestries strewn throughout the castle.
If before I was nervous, now I was petrified. Something about their aura exuded a calm clear authority. As expected from a being that had been in power for a long time. When Twilight had mentioned the Princesses before in the diamond dog caverns she had mentioned them with almost religious reverence. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t awe-inspired.
The guard to my right, who had so far been silent, hissed at me from the corner of his mouth as I was led within ten metres of the two thrones, where the diarchs sat.
“Kneel.”
I knelt, not wishing to cause any trouble. I did not bow my head though, keeping it proud and high as I regarded the two princesses. The guard, who was about to correct my posture in indignation, was dismissed by some unspoken signal between the white princess and the guard.
Their size, while seated, I estimated to be around my chest for the larger white one, whilst the size of the latter darker one at about half a head shorter. I noted automatically that the two winged unicorns were regarding me with different expressions.
The larger white one was regarding me with an expression of calm open curiosity tempered with slight caution. The smaller darker one was the antithesis to her partner, gazing at me with caution tempered with a slight curiosity.
My mind flew back to mangled thoughts about Taoism that my mother had relayed to me in fragments so long ago.
The world is in balance with opposites, I mused with a slight smirk. Neither counterpart was complete or pure.
It was the white one that spoke first, as I had expected.
“You may rise”, she commanded simply. I obeyed, favouring my left leg that currently didn’t hurt so much.
She looked at me concerned. My initial trepidation faded away and my expression cleared. Maybe this would not be such an ordeal.
“You are injured”, she stated, it was not a question but I chose to answer it anyway.
“It is nothing”, I answered stiffly, unable to meet those compassionate eyes.
“Your majesty”, the one on the right spoke up. I kept my guard up for that one.
Confused, I replied, “I’m sorry, what?”
“Your Majesty”, she repeated, irritated. “You should address us with the proper title and respect.”
“I apologise, your Majesty”, I offered, trying to inject as much sarcasm I could into those two words. I hated people who needed to reinforce their status and decorum. The dark one started from her seat but abruptly stopped as the white one swept out her wing out blocking the dark one’s advance. I inwardly whistled. That was one massive wingspan.
I didn’t want to be overly antagonistic, so I tried to relax.
“I mean, my apologies your Majesties. I’ve been somewhat stressed lately”, I sighed, suddenly feeling very weary.
The cold blue one called out coldly to me across the short distance.
“Does that have to do with the innocent guard you injured unduly?” her icy voice cut through to me. I tightened my fists but forced them open, slowly as I thought about how to respond without making a fool of myself in the process. I guess my temper flares when I’m under undue pressure.
Reason, I said to myself. Reason and logic guide my way.
I calmed down enough to give a reply, “Is that what your guard reported?”
The white winged unicorn gave me a hard stare.
“I trust my guards”, she responded confidently and a touch arrogantly.
“You may trust your guards to protect your life, but I wonder what they would protect more. Their pride… or the well-being of myself?”
They both drew shocked breaths but they considered my statement before responding.
“What would you have us believe?” the dark one asked with barely concealed menace. “Somepony we know or something we don’t.”
I sighed, rubbing a hand across my face.
“I don’t have time for this”, I muttered below my breath.
“What could you possibly need time for?” the white one asked me.
I winced, seems like their hearing is much better than a human’s.
I paused to gather my thoughts. I had a small internal debate on whether I should tell them. I sagged. What harm could there be for telling the truth?
“It all began when the world was taken by storm… by a device named Synch and a knot named Synchrony.”