There is nothing like the warm fuzzy feeling of being home on a cold autumn evening, propping your feet up on a comfy cushion and laying back in an overstuffed lounger while leisurely thumbing through a well loved book while the soft popping of hardwoods plays accompaniment to the spicy sweetness of a smooth liquor.
Well, except maybe for finding that schmo, knocking him out, gluing him to the chair and setting his house on fire only to throw some smelling salts in once the floorboards ignite.
Yheah... good times.
But, my enjoyment isn't really what you're here for. Yheah, I know that. I'm smart like that. I can read minds!
It's part of the job you know. Figuring out what people want and making sure they get it at any cost. 'Cuz at the end of the day, I'm still going to jump on the tab and leave some other mark with the bill. But in the meantime, well, I'm everyone's best buddy.
I'm your pal!
Your partner!
Your very very best friend!
You know what they say... friends will stick up for you, best friends will lead a stickup for you, and very best friends will help hide the bodies?
Yheah... I'm at least one more 'very.'
Like, seriously.... murder? Pffft. Childsplay. I'm all over that.
I, after all, am an imp... and until very recently, I was the sole minion of one, very accommodating, undead who just happened to be tangentially involved with an ongoing conflict between two warring factions.
I say 'was' because, while engaged, I had the misfortune of encountering a senior warlock on the field of battle...
But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Suffice it to say that my brief adventure was, strictly speaking, not in my contract.