Coal is making himself coffee in the station’s kitchen. Station itself is fairly silent, only the occasional groups of foals stumbling in looking to “flare or care”. Station sergeant comes up to Coal and hoofs him an envelope with printed “To Detectives Helps and Melloway”. The first tip came in exactly the same looking envelope. Coal opens it up and reads “I feel it is my civic duty to inform you, that a pony with severe burns had been checked in to “Soothing Paste” private hospital bearing similarities to Ham.”. Coal rushes to station’s reception desk, where the sergeant sits and shifts through the newspaper, to ask for a few uniformed policeponies to accompany him. The sergeant laughs and gestures to Coal to look around and notice the lack of any pony, let alone a free one. Disappointed, Coal has the sergeant look up the hospital’s address and sets off. On his way to the hospital Coal came across some policeponies, but noticed they were all on duty, making sure nothing bad happened during the Carnival, like a drunk disrupting the peace or shoplifters using the Carnival commotion to get away.
Fillydelphia wasn’t suffering from crime, like the infamous Neigh Orleans for example, yet was far from the almost clinical safety of Stalliongrad. Currently, however, Fillydelphia was going through a stage of underworld uproar, after somepony made the last major criminal under-boss simply vanish. Now somepony else, calling himself “Fishy the Mad”, has taken over most of the usual rackets, betting parlors and loan sharks, yet added a new all-consuming decease and a treasure trove of bits, nopony before him had ever dared delve into - drugs. It is a known fact, that the only thing the Princess despises more than being blatantly lied to, is drug and alcohol abuse. Up till a few years ago, worst drug related crime in Equestria was when the famous boxer Marcus Tightson was found guilty of abusing painkillers and muscle growth stimulants. Today, the youth of Equestria was bombarded with cheap and dangerous hallucination inducing “brownies” with a few already dying of overdose, and Fillydelphia is at the center of the distribution. Fillydelphia’s Commissioner had made a case of stopping the drug rings before the Princess returns from her vacation in Cavallia, fearing she’d take a personal interest in the fight against them. The drug had been confirmed to be of Zebraic origin and should the Princess learn of this, Coal agreed with Commissioner, the already strained relations may simply sever altogether. Fam and Ham, a unicorn and an earth pony duo, have apparently switched from conponyship and fraud to drug distribution, which placed them on Coal and Nasty’s Vice cases table. Coal and Nasty busted up F&H’s storehouses and arrested a small number of zebras on suspicions of smuggling, though Coal was certain Nasty overreacted and was being a speciesist, before the duo decided to lay low. That’s when the first anonymous tip arrived.
Slightly sweating from both the long walk and summer heat, Coal walks inside the hospital. Nurse at the empty reception politely smiles at him, placing a mares’ magazine aside.
-”How may I help you? If you’re looking somewhere to spend the noon, there is some water and magazines in the waiting room.”
-”No, thank you. Was a pony brought here recently? With burn marks.”
-”I’m sorry, but that information is confidential.”-The mare drops her smile and is looking worried. Coal shows her his shield from under the hat.-”I’m sorry officer, but information on our patients is protected under medical privacy laws. You will need a warrant to inquire further. Was there something else you needed?”
-”Would you please call the manager. I will need to know what to write in the warrant.”-Coal never like to press ponies, as his words always came out like he was about to lose his temper and punch that pony.-”Whether it should be a medical confidentiality revocation, or a full on search warrant. I want to know if a pony I've mentioned is admissioned here!”
Nurse was about to say something when a painful scream from somewhere a floor above resonated through the building. Shortly after there was more screaming, followed by loud laugh. Coal spots a staircase and begins to walk in its direction. The nurse jumps up and shouts.
-”You can’t go there, that’s private property!”
-”I most certainly can, under “investigating suspicious behavior or disturbance”, Miss!”
On reaching the second floor Coal spots an open door to one of the rooms and hears ponies talking in an otherwise completely empty and silent floor. He approaches the doorway and peeks inside. There are a couple of large pegasus stallions in medical garbs standing before another stallion, a unicorn in a garb, sitting on top of a pony on a bed. Coal hears somepony running behind him and turns around to spot the nurse galloping towards him, turning in place just before him to try and buck him. Coal flies off a few feet from the bucking, and the nurse screams “COPS!!!” before Coal shoots her with his already summoned slingshot. He cast a simple disorientation spell on the bullet before shooting it, and as the bullet hits the mare in the square in the skull, her entire head is wrapped in yellow aura after which her eyes roll into her skull and she passes out collapsing on the floor. Two pegasus stallions dressed as orderlies rush out of the room and pull out batons in their teeth from underneath the garbs. Coal misses with his shot and the stallions don’t let the opportunity go to waste and start pummeling on Coal, until he falls to the floor. Before he passes out, he notices one of the pegasi carefully place the nurse on his back and with a few beats of his wings flies out of the corridor window, joining the other with a stallion on his back.
Coal wakes up from hearing somepony grovel in pain and immediately coughs some blood. He lifts his head from a small pool of baked blood to look around. Night sky and stars are visible from the window. Coal also notices the unnatural twist in his front leg. Forcing himself he gets up, holding his damaged limb slightly in the air above the floor. He hears soft crying from the floor below. Slowly, leaning on the walls for support, Coal makes it down the stairs and find a pony on its belly dragging itself with its front legs along the floor, painfully moaning.
-"Ham? Ham!"-The pony stops its crawl.-"You can stop now. You're not going anywhere."
The pony turns to its side, revealing a severely burned face of an earth pony stallion.
-”I was wondering when you’d get up.”-Ham takes a few strained breaths.-”Made myself a deal - I get to the doors before you do, I’d treat myself to something nice. Looks like I only had 20 or so feet left to go.”
Coal slowly skip-walks outside and fires a yellow flare from his horn into the sky, then leans on a doorway as he waits for patrol ponies to reach him. His entire body aches, one of the eyes is swollen so hard he can barely keep it open and after fishing in his mouth a bit he spits out a few bloody pieces of teeth onto the ground. Shortly after a uniformed pegasus patrol pony lands on the street and Coal waves him over.
-"Detective Coal Phelps, badge 1247. Me and a suspect inside require medical aid.”
-”Sure thing detective.”-Patrol pony looks inside at heavily breathing Ham lying on his side and silently sobbing.-”You sure got him good though.”
-”Who? Oh, him. No, that wasn't me. And no, that wasn't him either.”
-”Wait, isn't this a hospital already?”
-”Well, this hospital’s staff attacked me and ran. Ow, it hurts to laugh.
Patrol pony takes to the air and a few good minutes later two medical carts and several uniformed police ponies arrive. Coal and Ham get placed on the carts and driven to a public hospital. When they left for the hospital Coal noticed the same familiar looking pony stallion he saw at The Flare, speaking to district attorney.
By the beginning of the next shift Coal was already in his office having a friendly argument with Nasty.
-”By Luna’s sweet flank, I leave you alone for a few hours, kid, and you manage to get yourself beaten half to death!”
-”Calm down, Nasty. All I got was a few bruises.”-Coal carefully sits himself slightly to the side behind his desk to minimize the pain.-”And besides, how was I supposed to know the place was some kind of front. Had you been with me, you’d had been pummeled too.”
-”Oh now you’re just trying to make me jealous. Haven’t had a good fight in years!”
They are interrupted by a light tapping on the door. It opens and Nasty’s daughter, Carrot Top walks in, ears drooped and eyes to the floor.
-”Hi dad, hi Mister Helps.”
-”Topsy, what are you doing here? Why aren't you home?”
-”Listen, dad...Can I uh...Stay at your place for a bit.”
-”Did you run away again?”
-”Not really. They had a fight again and I just don’t want to be in the middle of it all. Please dad, I already told them I’ll be staying the night at your place!”
-”Okay, sure Topsy. I’ll talk to your mom first thing in the morning. Say, you don’t have much to do during the summer vacation, do you?”
-”No, well some summer projects, but those are lame.”
-”Then I know what will cheer you up and make me happy as well. My old folks got a farm back in Ponyville. It’s a quiet small out of way town.”
-”Dad, what have I lost at a farm with your parents.”
-”I bet you've never been to a farm before, have you Topsy.”
-”No, not really. We learned about them at school though. Boring places where nothing happens."
-"That's not true, Topsy! There's always things to do on a farm. It has its own pace if things. Trust me, you'll love it. Your grandparents will be so happy to see you. They only saw you when you were just a newborn, when your mother and I were still together. They'll spoil you senseless. And if you don't like it, it's only a two days trip back to Fillydelphia! How's that sound?"
-"Well, I guess it could be nice to meet my other grandma and grandpa."-The filly visibly brightened up.
-"Good then. I'll send them a letter and I'm sure next month they'll be more than ready to welcome you. Now, here's the keys, don't take shortcuts and stay on the lit side of the road!"
-"You sound just like mom!"
-"That's because she's right! Now go, before it gets too dark!"-Nasty kisses his daughter on her forehead and closes the door behind her.
-"I didn't know you grew up on a farm, Nasty."
-"Are you joking, Coal? How do you think I got to be so big? Nothing to do on a farm, but carry heavy stuff around and sweat all day! Dreadful place!"
-"Then why are you sending your daughter there?"
-"So she'll learn to appreciate her everyday life. My folks would die to see their grandfoals, I wasn't lying about that."
Coal tries drinking coffee, scrunching from every sip as his regrowing teeth hurt and numb from the drink. Nasty is writing a letter to his parents. There is a hard knocking on the door. Nasty stands up to open it.
-"Good night lieutenant! Eh, you too commissioner. Please come in."
Coal stands up to greet them. He has had a few dealings with the commissioner, a tall slender olive green pegasus in a suit. Coal was always left with a metallic taste in his mouth whenever he heard the commissioner speak in his usual self righteous preachy manner.
-"How are you two fine lads doing tonight?"-Before Coal or Nasty could respond, commissioner kept on talking.-"I know what will make this fine evening even better! I'm trusting you two to break that fiend Ham. Get him to spill his heart and confess to all his sins tonight and I'll make sure he goes away to never come back. While you, boys, will enjoy some fine and just reward. Don't let mine and Luna's trust in you be wasted!"-With that commissioner leaves, leaving lieutenant behind.
-"Helps, Melloway, you have till morning to interrogate Ham, before he gets an attorney. get him to sign a confession, that way we won't be breaking any protocol. He's in room 2."
-"Lieutenant, that pony was barely alive yesterday, we can't press him now, he might not break but just close up inside!"
-"She's right Coalsy, keep him in shock, even if he doesn't break he might let something slip. Come on, we can do this. He's just a throwaway street actor, how tough can he be?"
Coal and Nasty were looking into interrogation room 2 from behind a one way mirror at wheelchair bound hoofcuffed Ham sitting barely awake behind a desk. To their side were the lieutenant and commissioner. Nasty nods to Coal and they enter the room. Coal sits opposite Ham, while Nasty stands behind him.
-"My name is detective Helps, that is detective Melloway."
-"You I saw yesterday, you I heard of."-Ham tries to turn his head to Nasty to say it to him.
-"Well, don't believe everything you hear. I'm much worse in real life."
-"Funny, and they say I'm a bad comedian."
-"You know why you're here Ham."
-"I take it you bunch want private lessons in acting?"
-"You really are a bad comedian."-Nasty walks over so that Ham can see his face.-"So bad you took the expression break a leg seriously."
-"You...I want my attorney!"
-"Drug dealing scum like you don't get any. Do you know you'll be trialed not by the court of jury, but by the Royal Court of Canterlot. Take a quick guess who's presiding over it. I'll give you a guess. She's tall, dark blue and has a mean temper."-Ham stares at grinning Nasty in disbelief and starts sweating.
-”Drug dealing? What?! You’re just making this all up!”
-”The orphans gave you and your partner in crime up, Ham!”-Coal’s facial expression and word pronunciation was at his trademark aggression level.
-”Oh, did I fail to mention, she also loves foals and is protective of orphans. You had managed to do all those things! I wonder if she’d banish you to the sun, or tartarus first.”
-"I...I want my attorney...Now!"
-"It doesn't have to be the Princess to judge you though, Ham."-Coal pushes a glass of water towards Ham.-"Come clean on everything, sign a confession and we'll make sure you get a quick, behind closed doors, trial here, in Fillydelphia. Prove that you're really sorry, tell us everything you know, who supplies you, who you sell to, what do you know about Fishy!
-”Fishy?! Take a guess who broke my legs! And then he laughed his damn face off! You were there to watch the whole show!”-Ham looks Coal right in the eyes then at his hoofcuffed front legs on the table.-"I'm not going to say a word..."
-"You just did. You said he mutilated you to satisfy his sadistic desires."-Coal is almost shooting lightnings from eyes.-"And like you said, I watched the whole thing. He now knows you failed him and got taken by police. Do you think he won't put two and two together?"
-"Say, Coal, what if we let this guy walk, well, wheel out of here. Have some press take pictures, let it slip he talked. Then just sit by and watch the show. You won't be missed, you know."
-"No! You wouldn't! Cops are supposed to protect ponies!"
-"And we do. From ponies like you. If one scum takes out another, nopony will shed a single tear."
-"Tell us what we want to know, cooperate and maybe the judge will allow you to file an appeal later in your sentence. You could be out in 15, 10 on exemplary behavior."
-"10? You're joking! I won't believe a word you say until I hear my attorney say it!"-Ham takes the glass of water in his shaking hooves and drinks it in one gulp.
-"Well, we could make judge Bianco take over the case. Did you know her daughter died of "brownie" overdose?"
-"You can start making the situation better for yourself if you tell us where Fam is.”
-”Fam is...he’s dead. He didn't make it.”-Ham looks hatefully at the empty glass of water and a small trickle of tears start dropping from his eyes.-”It was all that bitch’s fault! If it weren’t for her, Fam would...I wouldn't even be here, if it weren't for her!
-”Start talking, Ham, why did Fam die! Who’s “she”?”
-”Colgate...She used us. I bet she set it all up!”
-”Don’t you throw away accusations at mares like that!”-Nasty leans on his front legs on the table looking at Ham.
-”Explain yourself, Ham!”
-”Me and Fam, we were just ordered into helping Fishy sell those things. I knew Colgate from my days as an amateur stage actor, I managed to convince her to help us get in touch with all the famous musicians and actors.”-Ham looks at Coal and a tip of his mouth twitches a bit.-”I used to adore half those ponies. When we started to sell I saw them for what they all really are. Self absorbed trash. Colgate’s husband, Jimmy, is one of the worst. Guess we weren’t any better. One night she comes to us all crying and hurt. And what do we do? We feed her the product. Then use her.”
-”You son of a…”-Nasty raises his massive hoof to strike Ham, but it’s stopped by a yellow glow.
-”I didn't think then she hated us for it. She just didn't care. She came back a few days later. That time she just had a few drinks. Then she starts coming several times a week. I’m thinking all is great, in my foalishness. Take her out to see the black market. We come across all the loot from “Fillydelphia’s 1st” deposit boxes. Immediately she spots this silver cylinder, says to buy it. She must have known what’s inside. We get back, she’s all excited, says the cylinder is a scroll storing tube, whatever’s inside probably worth a fortune. Fam uses his magic to pick the hidden lock, and there really is a scroll inside. Fam looks at it and says he thinks it’s some kind of teleportation spell, you just have to read the words, only they’re in ancient equestrian. We all cheer like foals. Several weeks later Colgate comes around, saying Jimmy had acquired so many debts in his “brownie” trips, she is going to be thrown out of her own house. Me and Fam were already free of the distribution, thanks to a little help somepony at The Flare organized for us. He drafted some orphans to sell. Nopony will think of foals as distributors.”
-”Who was it? How did he look like?”
-”I don’t know, he never said his name and was wearing a cloak. He did have green eyes and red mane I think.”
-”Right, a mysterypony in a cloak in a nightclub helping you become even more despicable. I thought you actors would make better liars!”-Nasty angrily exhales from his nose and walks in circles behind Ham.
-”You wanted me to tell the truth, that’s it!
-”What happened next? How does Colgate have anything to do with this?”
-”I’m getting to that. So, with all the “help” me and Fam are free to search for a buyer for the scroll. We get word, that Fishy himself is interested in the scroll. We decide to make the deal the next morning, Colgate comes over for early celebration, only that night cops show up on our doorstep, bucking it down. We panic, Colgate says to hit her and tie her up to make it look like a hostage, and for Fam to use the scroll to help us escape. Fam reads it and in a flash we’re gone. We appear in the same apartment, only something is wrong. Everything looks different. This isn't our apartment anymore. Fillydelphia looks different too. We cheer for our escape, then Fam suddenly collapses. His horn starts glowing purple and then I notice I myself am consumed in a purple flame. Then in a flash we’re gone again and appear inside our apartment again, the original one. I drop and roll to put myself out and Fam just screams in agony then his horn just explodes.”-Ham starts crying.-”His eye...were just burned out, face all twisted in agony! I stumble into Fishy’s private hospital-betting parlor. A nurse takes me to a bed, a doctor takes a look at me. I fall asleep.”-Ham stiffens up, his voice filled with hatred.-”Then he arrives. I explain it all to him. Give him the scroll. He then breaks my legs. And just laughs. Laughs that we didn’t know the scroll was trapped. Laughs that I got burned and Fam is dead. He broke my legs just because we used the scroll! And Colgate knew the scroll was trapped. She planned it all, I just know it!”-Silence fills the room.
-”That’s quite the story you’re painting, Ham. It’s like you were the victims in this whole story!”-Nasty puts few pieces of blank paper and a pen in front of Ham.-"Start writing and maybe in 15 years you'll finally work in one of Manehattan's Broadroad theaters you're so fond of. As a janitor."-Nasty grins and Coal keeps his stern look on Ham, as he sobbingly takes up the pen in his mouth and begins writing.