//------------------------------// // A Very Strange Entrance // Story: Equine Recovery and Rehabilitation Association // by OneUppington //------------------------------// DANDELION “MPD! Hooves where I can see… them…” … Huh. Okay… I’m in a forest. … Why am I in a forest? Why am I not in Downtown Manehattan pointing my crossbow at some lowlife with a crack pipe in his mouth? Why am I instead pointing said crossbow at some old oak tree? … Well it’s certainly not going to be a threat, I’d better put my weapon back in its holster. Sorry Floret, Maybe next time. … Am I still me? I heard my voice yelling before, that was my piece, and the aura coming from it as it was floating from the air was the same yellow colour it’s always been, but that doesn’t confirm anything. I need to know I’m still Dandelion. Hopefully there’s a lake nearby for me to look at my reflecti– Why is one of my hooves wet? Oh! Because was one right behind me. Wow, my spatial awareness is better than that, surely. Then again, I swear I was in Manehattan a few seconds ago. I think it’s safe to say it has the right to go astray right now. Let’s see now… Still a unicorn, good. Facial features indicate I’m still a mare, very good. Golden-brown mane, grey coat, yellow eyes, uniform with a bit of blood on the collar (long story), and… a picture of a lion roaring in rage because somehow he got himself stuck in the ground. Yep, still Officer Dandelion. Just in a forest… … It’s a pretty forest. If I was, oh I don’t know, invited to come to such a spot instead of just appearing here with no rhyme or reason, I would totally say yes. Then again, just a few seconds ago I was in some disgusting dilapidated apartment complex where it’s clear that something bad was going down; so anything’s a step up from that. But, I should be in that complex right now. Not in a forest. My job is to protect and serve, not to point crossbows at trees and looking at my reflection at conveniently placed lakes. I need to go back to my job! I need to get back to base, and file in a report on why I somehow disappeared on duty for no apparent reason and ended up here! My job is important to me, Celestia Damnit, and no sudden teleportation is going to get me fired! … Oh right! My walkie-talkie! That’ll get me in contact to the base! Why did I not think of it sooner? “Dispatch, come in! Dispatch come in! This is Officer Dandelion, requesting assistance. Please respond.” … “I seem to have involuntarily teleported in a forest. I’m not sure where I am. Come in, Dispatch.” … Nothing. Great. At least now I don’t feel stupid for forgetting about it. Okay, so I think it’s safe to say I might be stuck here for a while, unfortunately. Better check my surroundings for some clue where I am. Or when. Actually, you know what? When first. It’ll be great if I knew the time. The sun is… right on top of me. So Princess Celestia says it’s roughly twelve. Right, let’s try to apply logic here. It was nine in the morning when I kicked the door down in Manehattan just moments before. That means I’m about three hours from there, according to time zones. Which means I’m… drowning in the ocean because there’s no place three hours ahead of the Equestrian Day Time. Okay, so logic’s out the window. I smell smoke. Must be a campfire nearby. Campfires mean campers. Okay, logic’s back. I got to find the fire, find the ponies who made the fire, ask them the way back home and maybe ask them for some lunch. I know I had my breakfast an hour ago according to logic, but that doesn’t mean I’m hungry now. I’m starving, actually. I could eat the grass, but since the time’s out of whack, maybe some other things are too; like the grass is toxic to ponies or something. Hey! I see some orange glow over there! Wow, I’m lucky. First I found a lake right behind me to check I am me, and now I’ve found some ponies in a heartbeat! Then again, that’s fair enough that I found the two so close together. A camping spot near a source of fresh water supply. Makes sense. I can get a good look of my saviours if I can just pull some of this branch which has some fabric thing on it aside. Well, I can confirm it is a campfire. I’m saved! Praise the Princess! Strange tent by this campfire, though. Not exactly like some old rag on a stick with some string. It’s seems more complicated than that. The rag seems more colourful for starters. And for some reason they found a way to make the sticks bend to make it more dome-like. Fascinating. Maybe I’m in the future. Could explain why my time measurement went astray. I wonder how- Wait. I hearing some weird sound, like something is zipping past one of the sides of the tent of the future! They are opening it! Looks to me like two… Erm… Uh… Those… Those are not ponies. I don’t know what they are, but they are not ponies. For starters, even from here I can tell they are taller than me. Then again, they seem to stand and walk on their hind legs. That could explain it. They have manes of some description. No tail though. And they seem to have saved their coats because those all I can see is skin… and clothing. Fair enough. If you remove your coat you got to replace it with something. One of them looks more naked than the other. Seems to be smaller than the other too, with a ginger, twirly manestyle, weird mounds on where I think the chest could be surrounded by some fabric-like contraption that seem to be there to keep the mounds in place… and getting really friendly to the other not-pony. Oh Cadence, please don’t tell me I caught these things in some kind of mating ritual. “Nice to know you’re feeling better about falling into the lake with your favourite shirt on yesterday.” Says the… well, I’m willing to call him the colt of this species judging by how deep his voice is. Nice to know they speak Equestrian too. That’ll help. Wait, I heard something that fitted the look of these things before. Apparently, our new princess went into a mirror and on the other side she saw things that are a bit like these and it turns out those things are us in some different dimension. Is that where I am? If so, how come I’m not one of them like what they said Princess Twilight Sparkle became? “Oh, ha ha.” Said the seemingly female one in a seemingly sarcastic manner. “It should be dry now, right?” “Yeah, sure it should be right over th-” The male looks at my direction. He sees me. This fabric that’s on the branch must have been the shorter one’s shirt. Yeah, it has to be. It could cover her, the contraption and those weird mounds. “Hey!” It’s not happy. Clearly because I am touching his friend’s shirt. Erm… what to do, what to do, what to do… This being is bigger than me and is coming this way in an angry mood… … Ah fuck it! Floret, my dear, it’s high time you get us out of this mess! “STAND BACK, YOU… YOU… WHATEVER YOU ARE!” I shout as I pull out my little friend. The thing with the mounds screamed. “Harold, the filly’s got a crossbow!” Har… old? What kind of name is…? No wait, better question; how does she know what a filly is? If this is the dimension Princess Twilight encountered, then she would have said that thing, because she wouldn’t know what I was! Maybe… Oh Sweet Luna. Is this… Is this a Planet of the Hippos situation? Are these things the dominant species and ponies are their slaves? “Okay, miss.” Says this Harold. “Take it easy. You can have whatever you want just… just don’t hurt us.” Huh. Maybe it's vice-versa and we’re the overlords. Either way, I am not letting down my guard. “Wh- who…” No, wait. Rephrase that, Dandelion. “What are you?” The two look at each other. “Oh my god, I think she just arrived.” “Well tell her, Harold! I want my top back!” Fair enough. She looks cold. “Okay! Okay!” the thing called Harold says as he turns back to me. “We’re called humans. I’m male, she’s female. Humans. My name is Harold Greenswich, this is my wife, Sue and you’re… you're not in Equestria anymore.” … What...? How...? Oh goddess, so many questions. “H-how do you know I’m from- How do you even know of Equestria?” The male named Harold looks at his female named Sue. “Sweetie,” She starts to speak. “You… You aren’t the first pony to come here. A lot of ponies somehow find their way here, the same way you did. They were just doing their routine on your world one moment and the next thing they know they’re here. No-one knows why, it just happens. Look, if you put your weapon back in the holster, we can contact some people -” “And Ponies.” Harold interupts. “Right! And ponies that’ll help you. Just put the crossbow back in the holster and we'll contact them, okay sweetie?” … Okay, these… Hoo-mangs? I think that’s what Harold called them? Anyway, I think I can trust them. Back you go, Floret. Thanks for being a great help as always. … I telekinetically pick up the shirt and give it to Sue. “Thank you” She says as she turns to her husband. “Does your mobile have some connection?” Harold picks up some small black box and looks at it. “Yeah… …I’m calling ERRA now.”