//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 - Acceptance // Story: Alone // by Nyronus //------------------------------// “No. No. No. No.” Dash ran, spitting out the word with every breath. Darkness was all around her. Faded figures, ponies, ambled through the darkness, standing out starkly against the black. Dash ran to the closest, a pegasus colt. “Please!” She shouted, taking to the air, hoof outstretched. “Please!” The figure looked at her, sneered, and vanished. Dash landed, bolting at a unicorn mare, reaching out as she got close. The mare turned, snarled in disgust. “No! Don't go!” The mare vanished all the same. “Please! Please stay!” The earth pony colt snorted and became nothing. “Please don't leave me!” Another vanished. “Please, please, please, I swear I'm not a freak!” Tears were running down her face now. Another. “Please!” Her voice was hoarse now. Everything was blurring. Another. “Please, please don't leave me alone!” She pleaded, she sobbed. One after another, they all vanished. No matter how far she ran, they all scorned her, and then became nothing. Dash, screaming, ran blindly ahead at any shape, blubbering, begging, pleading. They all vanished. “HALT RAINBOW DASH!” And then Dash smashed into something. Strong, warm, legs wrapped around her and she on instinct latched onto whoever she had crashed into. Dash felt wind and heard the flapping of great wings as the cool air washed away the stagnant heat of the sweat and darkness. Soon she felt a cloud under her as her savior landed, clutching her like a foal. She didn't let go though, sobbing into the shoulder of whoever had come to her rescue. “Do not fear, Rainbow Dash. I'm here. You are safe now.” “I'm s-s-s-orr-r-r-y.” “It is alright, Rainbow Dash. There is no need for shame. It was a nightmare, nothing more. You are safe now. It is alright.” Dash shuddered for a moment, and then opened her eyes, looking up at who had saved her. “Luna?” “Yes, Rainbow Dash, it is I. You were having a dreadful nightmare, so I came to your aid.” “Ah, I-” Dash snorted, trying to gain control of her leaking face, “-I gotcha.” Luna looked at her for a moment and then snorted a laugh. “As I said Rainbow Dash, there is no need for shame. Though it was a dream, in the moment we feel helpless to their power. I was glad to help.” She smiled. “Now, what is wrong my little pony?” “Uh,” Dash looked away, “Uh, nothing.” Luna frowned. “Dreams are equal measure fancy and memory, but a nightmares such as these are rarely 'nothing,' believe me. As long as the fear that gave it birth remains in your heart, so too will the nightmare and its sisters stalk your dreams.” Luna lifted Dash up and placed her down, seeming smaller than she had before. “Now, Rainbow Dash, if you cannot tell me what is that troubles you, you must find someone to speak with upon waking. I can walk only so many dreams each night. I cannot protect you from yourself forever, especially if you do not wish to be helped.” Dash looked away from the princess in shame, rubbing her forehooves together. She looked up and out to see a wild mountain-scape under the moonlight and a starlit sky where darkness had been before. She sighed and looked down at the cloud between her and Luna. “I... I think I'm an asexual, and that scares me.” “I beg your pardon?” “Asexual, a pony who doesn't like sex.” “Well... do you like sex?” “Yes-well-no-I-” Dash groaned in frustration, grabbing her head. “That's not what that word means.” Luna frowned. “Well, what does it mean then?” “It...” Dash shook her head, and then breathed in deeply. “It's... apparently, whenever a pony sees another pony they think is really smoking hot they get all riled and nervous and excited and I never do. I always thought when I saw that in a cartoon or in a comic it was because the author was being silly or the character was a pervert but NO, it turns out I'm the weird one just because I don't get all wound up around other ponies like some kind of untrained puppy!” Dash ended her rant, staring off at the mountains, glaring at them as if daring them to talk back. She closed her eyes and sighed. “I... see.” “And I keep making a real jerk of myself by saying things like that. I hurt Rarity and Fluttershy's feelings because that's what I believed and I just don't know anymore.” Dash looked up at the sky. “I feel alone. I don't know if any other ponies will accept me. I know some asexuals like sex, but what if -I- don't? What if I hate it? What if... what if my special somepony dumps me because it turns out I hate sex? What if I can never find anyone? What if...” tears began streaming down Dash's cheeks as she lowered her head. “What if I am a freak and I'm all alone?” Luna sat there, watching her through the entire speech, a sad frown on her face. As Dash faded into silent tears she reached out a wing, pulling Dash close. “Shh, shh, my dear. It is alright.” “I’ve been… it’s been weeks and it keeps bugging me. I'm just such a crybaby.” “Shush. Do not feel shame, your fear is a real one. Just let it go until you are ready.” Dash shook her head. “I'm fine. I'm... fine.” “Alright then,” Luna said, letting Dash go and sitting up. Dash looked lost for a moment before looking up at Luna. “What do I do?” “Well, for one, if you fear your asexuality could drive others away, you could find other asexual ponies and date them.” Dash blinked, shocked. “But,” Luna went on, “I do not think that would be necessary.” Luna leaned back, rubbing her chin. Finally she nodded, before looking back down at Rainbow Dash, smiling. “Before I go on, Rainbow Dash, there is something you must know.” “Okay.” Dash nodded. “If you find a lover, and it becomes true that sex is not something you care for, if they reject you then they are not worthy of your love. Do you understand me? A true special somepony accepts another pony into their heart, wholly. If sex is not part of who you are, Rainbow Dash, then no pony can demand it of you and still claim to want your love and respect. A true special somepony will accept that, because sex or no sex, you, Rainbow Dash, are a treasure immeasurable.” “I... uh...” Dash blushed. “Thank you?” “What I say is yours. I give it freely because it is the truth.” Dash looked away, rubbing the back of her head. “Now... as for everything else... hmmm.” Luna stood up, staring off and twisting her lip as she thought. “Hmmm, I had warned her that they may cause problems” “Hmmm?” Luna say laid down, folding her legs under her. “I had a conversation with Twilight Sparkle one evening regarding the modern understanding of sex. She had told me that in this day Ponies have whole dictionaries to describe their tastes now. Heterosexual and Homosexual and Bisexual and others besides. Scales and numbers, and charts, and all of these other things, and it baffled me. During the days before... well, before my nightmares came to life, we had words for the act of a mare sleeping with a mare or stallion, or for when a stallion slept with a mare or stallion, but we did not make up words for mares or stallions who slept either mares or stallions, for there were no words needed to describe them beyond ‘ponies.’ The idea of labeling ponies based on a choice like gender attraction-it never even crossed our minds, because ponies are ponies, no matter whom they loved, and that, Rainbow Dash, is something I think you should consider. This word, asexuality? It is just that. A word.” Luna lifted her forehoof. “And you, are Rainbow Dash,” Luna placed her hoof on Dash's chest, “a pony. This word may describe you, or it may not, but that is all it can do: describe. Have you changed, Rainbow Dash, because you now have a new way to describe yourself?” “...N-no, I guess not?” “Indeed. You were always the way you were, 'asexual,' before the word and you shall be so after. Nothing more, and nothing less. Everything you believed about yourself, what you wanted, none of that can be changed by knowing this word unless you let it. If you would have hated sex, or loved it, you would have done so before you heard this word. You now just have a clearer way to describe something about yourself.” “But it makes me different. I now know I'm different.” Luna nodded in reply. “And that is true. You are different from many other ponies. You are fierce, loyal, brave, driven, kind, ambitious. I have not seen a flier like you before or after I was banished. These are not qualities everypony has, Rainbow Dash, and very few all at once.” She smiled. “We are, in short, all different.” Dash looked away, nervous. Luna's smile faded slightly as she stood. “I do understand though-how hard it can be to know you are apart from all the others, and now I too know the fear of worrying that there are things about oneself beyond one's surety and awareness, which may cause me and the ones I love pain and fear.” As Luna spoke her head lowered, and seemingly unnoticed a shadow passed over and behind her. “But, Rainbow Dash, whatever may happen to you in the future, you and I now both have a very powerful advantage over our fears and our loneliness.” “And what's that?” Dash looked up and stopped short in surprise. Standing beside Luna was a rainbow of color. White, Purple, Orange, Yellow, Lavender, and so much pink. Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Twilight and Pinkie Pie. They sat in a circle connecting her and Luna. Her friends. Luna smiled. “Our friends. Each other included, I hope.” Rainbow Dash let out a sound caught somewhere between a laugh, a snort, a sigh, and sob. She looked away and then suddenly chuckled. “Thanks... thanks, princess.” “Please, Rainbow Dash, call me Luna.” “Fine, but only if you call me ‘the Dashster.’” Luna stopped for a second, slightly confused, and shrugged. “Very well then, what the Dashster wishes she shall have.” Dash began bawling with laughter. Luna was not entirely sure why. “'Dash or Rainbow is fine... Luna.” Luna's head recoiled and shook slightly as she stared, confused. “Very well then... Rainbow.” Luna closed her eyes and leaned back slightly. “I must leave you soon, but take my words to heart. Your friends will be there for you as will, in the end, whomever is worthy of your love.” Luna took to the air as the whole world began to bend around her and the moon behind her. “If you still fear, go to your friends for help, and when we cross paths again in the waking world tell me of your life and of your love, Dash!” “And if you ever need me to rough up a dragon or two for you, princess - Luna - just point me in the right direction and I'll set them straight!” Luna laughed as the whole world blurred into her lighted silhouette. “Very well Dash, fare thee well!” “You too!” And with that, there was a flash of light and Rainbow woke up.