Rainbow Dash shot through the skies above Ponyville, a grin on her face as she effortlessly spun and rolled into a series of mid-air tricks. No lame sitting around all winter this year! She wasn’t going to spend three months freezing her flank off in Equestria, counting the days until she could fly longer than a half-hour before risking frostbite. This year, she wasn’t going to watch the southern birds fly south, she was going to join them!
The sky-blue pegasus gave a whoop of delight as she pulled out of a steep dive, wind rushing through her mane. Best of all, she had all her best pals coming with her, too! On the coolest trip she could think of! A brave band of mares, disparate in their attitudes and interests, brought together only by their love of adventure... Half-realized imaginings danced through her mind as she absently soared to her floating cloud home.
It had taken Rainbow Dash a while to construct her cloud-based dwelling, especially due to the classical pegasus architecture she based it upon. Sure, it would’ve been a lot faster and simpler to just pile some clouds together and hollow them out, but doing things quick and sloppy was just for the everyday stuff. If she was going to spend every night somewhere she had built, it was going to have to be awesome. And nopony knew cool like ancient pegasi.
Her house was built in the traditional single-tower style, no stairs allowed, because why have stairs when anypony that’d visit would have wings? The bottom of the tower was taken up by a kitchen, complete with the latest in cloud-based accessories, that she never used. That section of her home was mostly inhabited by empty pizza boxes and discarded paper plates from her latest meal of Ib’exian takeout (those ibex really know how to make a mean chow mein!). The second floor was where she spent most of her time at home, lounging around on a couch or her bed, listening to music, or, more accurately, soundly snoozing while music played. The top floor was where her miniature rainbow fabrication kit resided. Honestly, what kind of ‘Rainbow Dash’ would she be if her house didn’t drip rainbows constantly?
Coming to a soft landing on the squishy cloud turf, Rainbow Dash trotted over to her calendar to write down a few reminders before going to her bed and hopping into its warm embrace. Yes, tomorrow was going to be awesome. She’d be ready, bright and early, to begin her journey to Canterlot. Yeah, she’d get up at the crack of dawn...
-----
Celestia’s charge was nearly at its zenith when a tired and bleary-eyed pegasus practically slid out of bed onto the floor of her room. Giving a tired yawn, the mare slowly trudged to a opening in the cloudwall and half-fell half-flew to her kitchen. Nosing around the knee high layer of trash covering the structure, the groggy pony found what she was looking for: a slice of cold and questionably edible pizza. Noticing, but not caring, the splotches of green fuzz on the lone slice, she slowly chewed away at it until only the crust remained. Her doctor had warned her about the dangers of eating leftovers like this, but what they hay did that guy know? Besides, she had stopped getting sick months ago. Now, the fuzz just added texture to every bite.
With one half of her morning routine complete, Rainbow Dash turned to the fridge. Pulling it open with a wing, straining against the friction created by having to drag so much cardboard with it, she stuck her head inside. It was completely bare except for a trio of Sarsaparilla Surprise bottles. The distant words of an old flight school coach echoed through her head, warning her of the dangers contained within the sugary soda, but she ignored him. She was her own mare now, and she drank what she wanted, when she wanted!
Tearing one of the bottles away from the others, she let the fridge door swing shut. Working her jaw on the cap until she heard the pleasing fizz of carbonation, she spat out the bottlecap and drank the entirety of the ice-cold beverage in one fell chug. Ahhhh. That hit the spot. Feeling the sugary rush of energy almost immediately, Rainbow flung the empty bottle over her behind and bucked it into a corner of the room.
Stretching like a cat, and feeling her joints pop and crack, Rainbow then set about preening her feathers, pulling out any that couldn’t be saved and straightening the rest. Satisfied with her work after a few minutes, the weathermare finally felt ready for her day. Flying back up to the second floor, she touched down in front of her calendar.
“Let’s see... Take out trash? Yeah, okay, ‘RD,’ I’ll get right on that... tomorrow. Possible rouge clouds inbound from Everfree?” Rainbow Dash looked out a window to the sinister forest beyond Ponyville, where plants grew, clouds moved, and animals took care of themselves. The skies above the woods were clear. “Already done! Great job, Rainbow Dash!” she chuckled to herself. “Annnd... train replacement weatherpony for 10-14 weeks of duty? By today? What the heck was I-?”
Confusion turned to realization, and magenta eyes widened. “Oh ponyfeathers!”
Moments later, a multi colored streak zipped out of the floating tower and into the town below.
-----
Where the hay am I going to find a pegasus willing to do my job all winter in a couple of hours? Who’s even available? Helia’s not doing anything with her sunflowers all winter, but I don’t think she knows the difference between a Nimbostratus and a Cumulus. Silverspeed has the guts and the speed, but I’m not sure about her endurance, especially in cold weather... Rainbow Dash glided through Ponyville, mentally going through her list of every pegasus in town.
As the only permanent member of the Ponyville Weather Patrol, she had the Celestia-given right to conscript any pegasus she needed to get her duties done. Usually, she could handle her job by herself, but occasionally she’d get orders from her higher ups to create a big storm, or, more commonly, have to rope some pegasi in to fend off a wild storm coming in from the Everfree. That didn’t mean, however, that she could just offload her duties onto some unsuspecting mare and take off. She’d have to find a volunteer. And tell her bosses to change the mailing address of the weather schedule for a while.
But who was she going to ask? Weathermare wasn’t a job anypony could do. A pony had to be ready to work anytime, and it took a lot of energy to move clouds where they needed to go. There was a reason she napped all the time; it was hard work! Plus, a weathermare had to do her job in all sorts of strange weather, this close to the Everfree. Who was going to volunteer for that?
It was time to stop thinking and time to start doing. Rainbow Dash glided down to the town square and landed in a casual trot. Looking around for a potential volunteer, she spotted Wind Whistler buying some asparagus from a street vendor.
“Hey! Wind Whistler! Got a moment?”
The turquoise mare finished tucking her vegetables into her saddlebags before turning towards Rainbow. “I guess so, Dash. What’s up?” she looked upwards towards the empty sky. “You don’t need any help with the weather today, do you?”
“Uh, not exactly. You see, I’m kind of going on a vacation, and I’m looking for somepony to-”
“Do your job for you while you’re gone?” Wind Whistler’s right eyebrow was raised.
“Yeah, exactly!” Rainbow nodded enthusiastically. “Interested?”
The other mare shook her head. “Sorry, but I’m going to be busy for a while with my flutes. I’ve landed a big contract with a business out in Manehatten that wants as many hoof-crafted instruments as I can make. Apparently some trendsetter said that woodwind music will be the ‘in’ thing next spring.”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Wow, that great!” Who would’ve thought flutes would be the next big-city craze?
“Thanks for the encouragement! I’m going to have my hooves full all winter trying to keep my client happy. You might want to try Cloudkicker though, she’s always been eager to help you out in the past.”
“Thanks!” replied Rainbow Dash as she waved goodbye. Oh well, one down, ninety-three to go.
Thirty-three down, sixty-one to go, thought Rainbow Dash two hours later. This was getting frustrating. First Cloudkicker had jumped at the chance, until Rainbow revealed that she’d be gone all winter. Cloudkicker had already made plans to stay with relatives for a month in Cloudsdale, so she had to reluctantly decline. Everypony else she had asked had either refused outright because they were busy, or laughed in her face when she told them how long she’d be gone. Apparently most ponies took a vacation for a week or two, at most. How could you get a good adventure done in only a week?
Sighing, Rainbow realized her chances of finding a replacement were getting slimmer and slimmer. The rest of the ponies on her mental checklist were definitely not weathermare material, or had jobs that would simply be impossible to complete alongside dealing with the weather.
The prismatic-maned mare absently dug at the ground with a hoof. Come on, Rainbow Dash, think! There’s gotta be somepony in Ponyville willing and able to-
“Hi Rainbow Dash! What are you up to?” a slightly rough voice called out from directly next to her.
A quick turn of her head revealed the questioner. A small orange pegasus filly with a vibrant purple mane and a flank as blank as Rainbow Dash’s pantry sat next to her, a wide smile on her face.
“Hey there, Scoots. I’m thinking about who can replace me.”
The look of shock on Scootaloo’s face was instantly turned into a glare of fierce determination. “You should know best of all that nopony can replace you, Dash! You’re way too cool for anypony to take your place."
A small laugh escaped Rainbow. “Thanks, squirt. It’s nice to know that if I ever need an ego boost I know who to call.” She tustled Scootaloo’s mane with a hoof, and the filly looked up through her mussed hair. “I’m going on a vacation for a while, and I need somepony to fill in for me as weathermare. So far, I’ve had no takers.”
“Vacation, huh? Where are you going?”
“Do you know where Zebrica is?”
“Not a clue!” The filly seemed almost happy in her declaration of ignorance.
“Well listen up, Scoots. Zebrica is home of the Zebras, obviously. Its far to the south of Equestria, across Eternity’s Crossing.”
“Wow, its on the other side of the ocean?”
“Not exactly.” The knowledge given to her by Twilight’s extreme lecturing techniques sure was handy. “The entire northern coast of the continent to the south is taken up by the nation of Cervidas. Southeast of that is Camelu, and south of that is Zebrica.”
“That sure does sound like a long ways away. Why are you going there, and how long will you be gone?”
“Well, Twilight got this letter from this pretty awesome stallion called Dusty Ruin saying how he needs us to open up a mystical vault called the Tomb of the Fallen Star.” Rainbow Dash started walking again, keeping an eye out for pegasi to talk to, and Scootaloo scampered along beside her. “So we’re all heading down there to search the wilderness for it, open it up, and bring its treasures back to Canterlot. We’ll be gone for three or four months.”
“Oh, wow! That sounds awesome! Can I come?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Do you really think your parents are going to let you skip so much school? And we’re not exactly going to a theme park, here.”
The little filly was undaunted. “I can handle anything, and Twilight could totally teach me while we’re gone. She knows tons of stuff!”
“And she’d probably be delighted to have an attentive student through the whole trip...” Rainbow cursed inwardly. Shouldn’t have let that slip out.
“You’re right! See? I could come, easy!”
“Uhh, hold on, Scoots. I see another pegasus I need to ask about taking my place.” Zipping away from the landlocked filly, Rainbow frantically looked around for somepony to talk to. There! Dizzy Twister was conversing with a unicorn Rainbow didn’t know. In a flash, Rainbow darted over to the pair.
“Hey Dizzy,” started Rainbow, but stopped when both mares gave her a dirty look and continued talking. “Dizzy, can I talk to you for a sec?” What’s up with this mare?
With a irritated huff, Dizzy Twister flicked her tail and turned to Rainbow Dash. “What.”
“I was just wondering if you’d be interested in filling in for me as weathermare for a while.”
“No.” Dizzy turned back to her friend.
Man, what a frigid mare. Rainbow slowly flew back to where Scootaloo waited patiently. “This sucks, Scoots. Who'd've thought it would be so hard to find somepony who wanted to be me?”
The little filly nodded her head in agreement. “Anypony who wouldn’t be honoured to do your job is clearly out of her mind.”
“I know!” The frustrated pegasus threw her hooves in the air. “And I’m running out of ponies to ask!”
Scootaloo put on a thinking face. Rainbow Dash watched her look around for a few moments before opening her mouth to say ‘don’t bother’ when Scootaloo suddenly thrust a hoof towards the park. “How about her?”
Dash followed the hoof, past the couple with a newborn, sleeping foal speaking softly on a bench, past the sanitation pony pulling the refuse wagon, and spotted the one pegasus she hadn’t dreamed of asking to fill in for her. Ditzy “Derpy Hooves” Doo. The clumsiest, most scatterbrained pegasus in Ponyville. She always meant well, but as they say, the portal to hell was opened with the purest of incantations.
“Derpy? But she’s so... you know...” she scratched her neck, “unreliable.”
“No way, Rainbow Dash! You know I’ll always back you up, but you’re wrong in this.” Scootaloo seemed sincere. “She’s a mailmare! Totally dependable. You know their motto, right?”
“Rain, sleet or snow, yeah, yeah.”
“And Dinky’s been telling me all about how her mom’s been talking about wanting to get a second job. They’re trying to renovate.”
The thought of Ditzy Doo and power tools created a chill down Rainbow Dash’s spine. No way would she play any part, no matter how small, in allowing something like that to happen. She wasn’t that desperate... was she?
Ditzy was Ponyville’s sole mailmare, and aside from a few mishandled packages, the mail did always come through. That had to count for something. Add the fact that her job gave her plenty of free time once she finished her route... Ditzy did seem like a suitable candidate for weathermare.
Dash turned once more to Scootaloo. “Are you sure about this?”
An eager nod was her only answer.
“Alright then.” Rainbow Dash gave a few strong beats from her wings and took to the skies. Midflight, an errant thought nearly sent her crashing to the ground. Did I just ask for and take advice from a filly still in elementary school? Shaking the doubt from her mind, she slowed down and landed next to the blond-maned pegasus playing with her filly in the park.
The gray pegasus with bubbles on her flank didn’t seem to notice her landing, even though she was barely a metre away. So unobservant. A terrible quality for a weathermare. Rainbow listened to Ditzy play a game of twenty questions (the answer was ‘apple.’ red, edible, and round? So dense.) before clearing her throat.
The mailmare turned her head, saw her visitor, and let out a beaming smile. “Hi Rainbow Dash!”
Giving a weak smile in return, Rainbow waved her hoof. “Hey, Ditzy. How are you?”
“I’m great! How are you?”
“Fine, fine.”
Silence hung in the air for a few moments.
Rainbow mentally facehoofed. Come on, ask her! Do you want to go on that sick adventure or not? Clearing her throat again, she pressed on.
“So I heard you were looking for something to do.”
“Oh I’ve always got plenty going on, Rainbow Dash! Just this evening me and Dinky were planning on baking some tasty muffins!” The small filly behind Ditzy gave a cheery wave at the mention of her name.
“No, I meant- I heard you were looking for a job.”
“Huh?”
“You know, for the redecorating you were planning on doing?”
Rainbow Dash swore she heard the bubble pop in Derpy’s brain. “Oh yeah! I am! Why, do you know somepony who’s interested in hiring part time?
“Yeah I do, and you’re looking at her.”
Ditzy looked around the park. Dash chided herself. I only have myself to blame for that one.
“I’m talking about me, Ditzy. I have a job for you, maybe. If you’re up for it.” The look of sheer joy on Ditzy’s face was the only warning before the mare buried Rainbow in a full-body hug.
Gently extracting herself from Ditzy’s embrace, Rainbow Dash got back up to her hooves and dusted herself off. “Don’t get so excited yet, Ditzy-”
“Too late!”
“-Because you’re going to have to prove that you can handle my duties for the winter. Is that a problem?”
“Nope!”
Rainbow Dash looked around at the cloudless blue sky. Well, this won’t do to test her out. I gotta fix this. She flew over to the small stream that meandered through the park. Speeding along just above its surface, she gathered enough moisture to create a small cloud, about the size of a pony, before dragging it out into the open sky. She repeated this process until there was a decent amount of cloud covering the park.
But just getting Derpy to break up a few clouds was child’s play. There needed to be another element to this tryout, something to up the ante a bit. But what? Spying some colts playing with a bunch of bean bags, the answer came to her.
A few moments later and a few bean bags heavier, Rainbow returned to where Ditzy, Dinky, and now Scootaloo sat waiting. “Alright Ditzy, here’s the rules. You’ve got two minutes to clear the skies of clouds. I’ll be hovering above them and simulating lightning bolts with these bean bags. You get hit, you’re done, and you don’t get the job. You fail to break up every cloud, you don’t get the job. Understand?”
The grey-coated pegasus gave a determined nod, then shot into the sky. Rainbow Dash managed to bite down on her tail and yank her to the ground before she got too far.
“Let me get up there first, Ditzy. Wait for my mark.” Cradling the ‘lightning bolts’ in three hooves, Rainbow carefully flew to a spot high above the recently made clouds. Wishing for her whistle and coach’s cap, she instead raised her voice and yelled “Go!”
Ditzy Doo took off, blonde mane and tail whipping behind her, as Dinky and Scootaloo shouted encouragements from the grass below. At least she's got the speed for the job, thought Rainbow. The would-be weathermare reached the first cloud, spun, and gave a mighty buck of her hind legs that whiffed short of the cloud. Her depth perception is nothing to write home about. Giving her head a shake, Ditzy flapped a bit closer and nailed the cloud on her second try.
By the time she cleared out her third cloud, it was time to send out the first 'lightning bolt.' Carefully aligning herself above the cloud Ditzy appeared to be targeting next, Rainbow let a single beanbag fall from her grasp. In hindsight, she didn't have any regrets about her actions in the park. Nopony could have anticipated what happened next. She had to believe that.
Completely oblivious to the falling projectile, Ditzy positioned herself to buck her chosen target. The beanbag impacted upon the center of Ditzy's outstretched wing at the very same instant she kicked out with all her might. The result was catastrophic. Instead of harmlessly bouncing off and falling to the ground, the beanbag somehow caused the wing beneath it to crumple, and sent Ditzy Doo falling into an uncontrolled corkscrew dive. Rainbow's face never changed from its expression of passive disinterest.
Rainbow was not surprised when Ditzy's descent led directly to the couple and foal sitting, unaware, on the park bench. She was not surprised when the pegasine meteor turned the bench into an impromptu catapult, launching the helpless foal, still swaddled in cloth and sleeping soundly, high into the air. She was not surprised when she looked at the baby's trajectory and saw its approximate position at the end of its flight would be directly into the back of the trash cart. She was not surprised when she saw that there was nopony else nearby to save the foal.
So when Rainbow Dash found herself covered in garbage after using her body as a cushion to catch the foal, she didn't care. She was entirely nonchalant when the relieved couple breathlessly thanked her, over and over, for saving their foal. She had come to expect the unexpected when dealing with Derpy, and being forced to take a quick dip in the creek wasn’t, in the big scheme of things, something to get flustered about. And when Ditzy Doo finally came to after her disastrous landing, and asked if she got the job, Rainbow Dash knew there was only one thing to say:
“I’ll keep you in mind, Ditzy. Come on, Scootaloo, let’s keep looking.”
-----
An hour later, Rainbow Dash was still looking. Scootaloo had brought up the subject of lunch, and Rainbow Dash couldn’t argue with the rumbling in her stomach, so they had taken a tasty break of hay smoothies and fried violets. Now, however, their fruitless search continued.
At least one of them was still enthusiastic. “So Starbreeze is out, who cares? She was pretty lame anyway. Have you tried Sunny Daze yet?”
“Sunny’s too slow to be a serious contender, but yeah, I tried her before you met me.” Remarks like that were getting far too common for Rainbow’s taste. Where were all the pegasi with the guts to fly out into a Everfree blizzard? For that matter, where were the pegasi that even knew what to do? She needed somepony that knew how to handle wild Everfree weather, somepony that had watched her handle herself a couple times. But all of her go-to conscripts were busy! All the ponies that knew her moves were out of the picture.
All except one.
Rainbow looked down at the orange filly chatting aimlessly at her. Scootaloo idolized her. Whenever she had the time to do so, she’d come out and watch Rainbow practice her skills, and when a storm wandered in off the Everfree, Scootaloo would brave the elements to watch Rainbow Dash and her conscripts disperse it. Sure, Scoots herself couldn’t fly yet, but…
A quick wracking of her brain failed to reveal any regulations preventing a filly from being part of the Weather Patrol. Sure, Scootaloo couldn’t do her job by herself, but she’d have all of Rainbow Dash’s powers, including the ability to conscript ponies for ‘any task the Weather Patrol cannot accomplish with existing members.’ So what if she’d have to get help for the smallest of tasks? Nopony could refuse her!
“Hey Scoots, I’ve been thinking… How would you like to be weathermare?”
Scootaloo stopped in her tracks, mouth hanging open. Rainbow Dash waved a hoof in front of the small Pegasus, afraid that the news had broken the filly. Just before the mare became genuinely concerned, Scootaloo snapped out of her shock, wings buzzing excitedly.
“Seriously, Rainbow Dash? You want me to be you? I mean, do your job? Not forever, of course, but for a while, right? I’d be honoured! I mean, I am honoured! Because you’re trusting me with being you!”
“So I take it that’s a yes?”
“Totally! I can’t believe this! This is awesome!”
Smiling smugly at her own cleverness, Rainbow Dash turned towards the town hall. “Great! Now all we gotta do is get you your credentials, and make this official. First thing we need is to send in some photo ID so you can get your certificate. Follow me!” She took off towards the tall, multi-storied building at the centre of town, Scootaloo following as fast as her short legs could carry her.
Inside, a bored receptionist was building a house out of cards at her desk. Rather than disturb the obviously busy mare, Rainbow casually walked past the desk and down a side hall with doors lining one wall. She knew from prior experience that there was a room down here with a camera permanently pointed at a blank wall, just for the purpose of official identification purposes. Opening the first door revealed only a room filled with piles and piles of unfiled papers. Wow, somepony sure is behind on paperwork! Glancing up at the plaque above the door, Rainbow read ‘Office of the Weather Patrol.’ Scootaloo doesn’t need to see that, she thought.
Trying the second door was far more successful. Inside the small room was a bulky camera, a box of replacement bulbs, and a single chair. Rainbow Dash heard Scootaloo ask the receptionist where a cyan pegasus had gone. “Over here, Scoots!” she called over her shoulder as she walked into the room and behind the camera. She was still trying to figure out how the thing worked when Scootaloo stuck her head past the door.
“There you are!”
“Sit yourself on that chair while I figure out how this ancient thing works. I think this thing is older than I am.” Scootaloo complied while Rainbow fiddled with knobs and dials that were complete mysteries in terms of function. Where was the ‘take picture’ button? Through process of elimination, Dash figured she had the camera figured out and stared through the viewfinder. “Give me a smile, Scootaloo.”
“Sure thing!” A cute smile spread across the seated filly.
“Hmm…” She looks real young, thought Rainbow. “Scoots, could you try and look a little older? There’s no rules against it, but I think everything will just go smoother if nopony in Cloudsdale knows you’re not exactly as young as you are.”
“Uhh, sure thing!” The smile on Scootaloo’s face was replaced with a condescending glare.
“Close enough,” said Rainbow as she shrugged and took the picture.
-----
Twenty minutes later, Scootaloo had Rainbow’s weather schedule for the week, Rainbow Dash had changed the mailing address for future schedules, and documents were in the mail to Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash was on cloud nine. She was in the clear to go on her sweet adventure, Scootaloo was living her dreams, and nothing could possibly go wrong. And if it did, she would be outside of Equestria and conveniently out of reach, so it wouldn’t be her problem. Yep, she was in the clear.
Contently flying over the skies of Ponyville, Rainbow Dash zeroed in on Twilight’s library tree. Tucking in her wings and diving straight for one of the small windows carved into the thick trunk, she stretched out her hooves and shot through the narrow hole. Immediately flaring her wings out to perform a hard air brake before slamming into the floor, she looked around at the empty library. Where is everypony?
A noise from the basement made her ears prick up. Trotting over to the heavy wooden door, she gave it a nudge. Looking down into the mess of wires and metal that was Twilight’s basement lab, Rainbow Dash saw Twilight herself moving from contraption to contraption, fiddling with various switches and controls as she roamed the basement. Taking to the air, Rainbow hovered above the preoccupied librarian and watched her look at the printout from one machine while simultaneously lowering the heat of a bunsen burner on an adjacent table.
“Hey Twilight, where is everypony?”
A small hop was the only indication that Twilight was startled at all, and she looked around before giving a roll of her eyes and craning her neck straight up.
“Hello there, Rainbow Dash. What do you mean?”
“Well, I thought for sure everypony else would be ready to go by now.” Dash carefully chose a spot to land on that was clear of any dangerous-looking experiments, and folded her wings carefully. “The only reason it took me so long to get ready was sleeping in, and finding a replacement weathermare. But I did, so now I’m ready to go!”
Twilight looked around. “Is your stuff upstairs?”
Rainbow cocked her head. “Stuff?”
Stopping her actions, Twilight stared at the pegasus. “You know, your stuff. Money, food, travelling gear, passport, everything you’re going to need for the three months you’ll be gone from Equestria?”
After thinking for a moment, Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Aside from my passport, I don’t think I need anything. I travel light! How am I going to stay speedy if I’m weighed down by stuff I’m not going to use?”
One of Twilight’s eyebrows came down while the other went straight up. “You don’t think you’re going to miss anything, even being gone for so long?”
“Nope!”
“Your choice, I suppose.” Twilight shook her head. “But don’t come crying to me when you’re being eaten alive by bugs bigger than your hoof. If you can cry due to how dehydrated you’ll be with no canteen. Or feverish due to sunstroke with no sunblock. Or-”
Rainbow cut the lecturing unicorn off. “Maybe you have to worry about stuff like that Twilight, but I’m used to being outdoors all the time. No way I’ll have any trouble!” She was on the receiving end of one of Twilight’s disapproving glares. Taking to the air again, she began slowly circling the perimeter of the room as Twilight went back to her devices. “What are you doing down here, anyway?”
“I’m putting some of my more volatile long-term experiments on standby. Spike’s pretty good with following directions, but I don’t want to come home, ready to fall into my comfortable bed, only to find it blown up or burned to ashes.” The unicorn leaned in close to drop some chemicals into a beaker. “This way, I can explore the jungle with peace of mind that I’ve got a home waiting for me back in Equestria.”
“I guess I did something similar with my replacement.” Scootaloo could totally handle things here for a while, right? “When are we leaving?”
“Probably tomorrow morning, if everypony’s ready.” Twilight looked up at her, again. “There’s a train going directly to Canterlot at eight o’clock sharp. Would you mind letting everypony else know, if you’re already done packing?”
Rainbow Dash gave a swift salute. “You got it!” she called out, before speeding out of the basement, through an open window, and into the sky. Sugarcube Corner was closest, so she angled her body into a tight turn and headed for the bakery.
Coasting in through the open front doors, Rainbow slid on the sparkling clean tiles until she sort-of-gently collided with the glass counters displaying row after row of sugary sweets. At the sound of her entry, a head poked out from the kitchen. “Good afternoon, Rainbow Dash,” greeted Mr. Cake, the slim yellow stallion was coated with flour, making him look the part of a ghost. “Here for pastries or Pinkie?”
It was hard to pull away from the glass containing so many delicious looking treats. “Pinkie, for now, but maybe both.” Rainbow Dash didn’t bother looking away from the glass display towards the earth pony.
Giving a small chuckle, Mr. Cake returned to his work in the kitchen. “She’s upstairs, in her room.” He continued speaking as Rainbow finally managed to pull away from the hypnotizing treats. “She tells me that you’re all going on some wild adventure for quite a while. I hope you’ll all be careful.”
“Don’t worry about us, Mr. Cake.” Rainbow replied as she headed upstairs. “We care take care of ourselves.” The door to Pinkie’s room was wide open, so she headed right in.
Inside, it looked like somepony had set off an explosion of party favours and confectionery. Rainbow Dash didn’t put it past Pinkie Pie to do just that. She’d been in here before, and it always looked like Pinkie was ready to host a party for anything you could want, right in her bedroom. Today, however, the simple beige room with the blue wooden floor was filled with half-full bags of luggage strewn about. The pink party pony in question was zipping to and from each open container, pulling things out and placing them in other bags seemingly at random.
When Pinkie took a half second to look up, she let out a huge gasp and darted over to Rainbow. “Dashie!” she breathless exclaimed, “You’re here!”
‘Dashie’ cocked an eyebrow. “You were expecting me?”
Pinkie Pie let out a diabolical grin. “Of course, silly! How could one pony pack all this stuff? And since friends help friends pack, I knew you’d show up eventually!” She dragged Rainbow Dash over to one of her dressers. “I need everything in here,” gesturing to the jam-packed interior of the drawers. “To fit in here!” Pinkie pointed at a tiny suitcase that couldn’t hope to contain a fraction of the supplies of the dresser.
Rainbow Dash looked at the actual contents of a drawer. Ib’xian hooftraps, party poppers, fireworks, a blow-up pool... Everything you’d need to throw a real haymaker of a party. “Pinkie, what the hay are you bringing all this stuff for?” she asked, looking back out at the room.
Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be seen. Where’d she go? Rainbow Dash took a single step towards the center of the room when Pinkie’s shrill voice rang out from directly behind her.
“Well it’s simple, Dashie! We’re going to be gone for soooo long and I know we’ll be having two whole birthdays while we’re gone, Rarity’s and Fluttershy’s!” Turning around, Rainbow saw Pinkie had somehow erupted from the mess that her dresser, with only her head sticking out of the disorganized pile. “And since I know we’re not going to be finding any party supply stores in the stinky ol’ jungle, I have to bring anything and everything we need to party myself!” With a small ‘pop,’ Pinkie burst out of the mess she was buried in and landed lightly on her hooves. “Unless you know something about the jungle I don’t Dashie, because that’s crazy! You’d tell me anything you know about party supply shops in the jungle, wouldn’t you, Dashie?” Pinkie ended her tirade with her face pressed against Rainbow Dash’s, her blue eyes boring into Rainbow’s magenta ones.
“Uhh, yes?”
Pinkie pie pranced happily in place. “I knew I could count on you, Dashie!” She bounded across the room to another waiting suitcase and began throwing everything nearby into it.
Shaking her head, Rainbow Dash dragged the luggage container next to the dresser, shrugged, and started throwing anything she could inside. It didn’t take long for the small bag to be filled to the brim with various miscellaneous objects, including both a crystal ball and amateur chemistry set. Managing to close the case by repeatedly jumping on the lid, it finally snapped shut.
“Done, Pinkie!”
Pinkie poked her head out of the suitcase it was currently residing in. “Wow, Dashie, you sure are fast at packing!” Rainbow Dash decided not to mention the fact that Pinkie was now wearing a flower costume.
Taking the complement in stride, she puffed out her chest. “I’m fast at everything I do! You can’t find a quicker mare!”
There was a quick snort before Pinkie collapsed onto the ground, rolling with laughter. “Oh wow, Dashie, I can’t believe you’d admit to something like that!” she managed to communicate through giggles.
Shrugging, Rainbow Dash set the baggage next to the door. Pinkie sure is Pinkie today. “What are you looking forward to most on the trip?
“I’m glad you asked!” Pinkie Pie disappeared behind her bed for a moment, and when she popped back out, was wearing primitive warpaint and a grass skirt. “I’m sure we’ll have some ca-raze-ee run ins with superstitious locals convinced we’re trying to ‘disturb the dead,’ OoOoooO!” Pinkie added some spooky moaning to get her point across. “Or maybe,” she continued, diving into a suitcase and coming out a second later dressed in black leather and an eyepatch. “We’ll have to deal with mean, evil mercenaries hired to ‘dispose’ of us so some nasty nambypants can steal the treasure for himself!” Pinkie’s eye gleamed with imagined malice as she mimed victorious gloating. “And that’s all before we even get to the treasure! I can’t imagine what will happen to us once we actually find it!”
“That sounds pretty awesome, Pinkie!” Rainbow’s smile was genuine as she imagined fighting off mysterious ponies dressed in black. “I kind of hope we DO have to deal with stuff like that. It’ll keep it interesting.”
“You should be careful what you wish for, Dashie.” Pinkie’s voice grew low as she sidled up to Rainbow Dash. “Wishes have a habit of coming true!” Pinkie bounded back across the room to the luggage waiting open on her bed. “Did you come here to tell me anything in particular, Dashie, or just to help me out?” she asked as she returned to filling the multitude of containers up with ‘vital supplies.’
“Oh yeah!” Rainbow had nearly forgotten. “Twilight wants everypony ready at eight o’clock sharp at the train station. There’s a direct line right to Canterlot!”
Pinkie Pie nodded in agreement, eyes twinkling. “I’m sure I’ll be ready by then! You should let the other girls know, too!” Whatever was inside her suitcase squeaked as she placed a decorative snow globe on top of it.
“Right!” The message bearer turned towards the door and galloped out. “See you later, Pinkie!”
“Bye, Dashie!”
A few moments later, Rainbow Dash was airborne again, this time heading towards Sweet Apple Acres. The rows and rows of apple trees looked vaguely sinister without any of their customary leaves or eponymous fruit, like row after row of outstretched claws. The brightly painted farmhouse and barn looked as inviting as ever, though, and she beelined for the Apple family dwelling.
She was quite surprised to find not only Applejack, her brother Big Macintosh, and little Apple Bloom conversing in front of the barn, but Fluttershy as well. The three females gave friendly waves as Rainbow Dash alighted onto the dirt next to them, and Big Macintosh gave a curt nod.
“Salutations, RD,” welcomed Applejack, giving a slight curtsy as she did so. Her sentiments were echoed by the rest of the ponies in the group.
“Hey everypony. What brings you here, Fluttershy?”
Apple Bloom was happy to answer. “She wuz just askin if me or muh brother would be able t’ check up on all her critters while she’s away!” Her country accent was just as thick as her older sister’s, even if the voice was higher.
“I’d hate to have all my little friends starve while I was away.” Fluttershy’s quiet voice was almost silent compared to the boisterous country twangs surrounding it.
“Speakin’ of starvin,’” Applejack began, “Me and Big Mac were in the middle of barrellin’ up a whole bushelful of apples for the trip. I’m not about to put my meals in the toes of camels. Have you seen what those crazies eat?” the mare seemed to ask the question directly at Rainbow Dash. The other ponies nearby all rolled their eyes behind the questioning mare.
“No idea.”
“Anythin’, so long as they can spice it. There are these spiny things that they won’t eat raw, but they’ll load em up with some magic spice o’ thiers and bam, suddenly it's the tastiest treat you’ll ever eat.” The farmer stuck her nose in the air. “I don’t know about you, RD, but I don’t trust anythin’ you gotta spice before ya eat it.” She leaned in close, whispering conspiratorially. “You want me to crate up some apples fer you, too?”
“As long as I don’t have to carry them, I don’t see why not.” Magic spice that turned food edible? Probably not a bad idea to have a backup plan.
“Great! You want some too, Fluttershy?” A nod of agreement was all Applejack needed. “Perfect! Heck, maybe I should pack even more, sell some real food while we’re down there. Some of those folks might’ve never seen an Apple before! Imagine that, apples as a delicacy.” Her gaze grew distant and unfocused. “I wonder how much I could charge...” Seeing her sister’s distracted state, Apple Bloom took the opportunity to begin poking her hoof into Applejack’s side.
Leaving the mare to her dreams of apple monopolies, Rainbow Dash turned to Fluttershy and Big Mac. “You going to be sad to see her go, big guy?” ribbing Macintosh as she asked.
Big Mac slowly chewed on a stalk of wheat before answering. “Eyup. But it’s her choice, and the farm’ll do just fine without her over winter.” He looked both pegasi in the eye before finishing his words. “But y’all bring her back safe and sound, y’hear?
Rainbow Dash answered without skipping a beat. “You can count on me!”
“I’m sure we’ll all return safely, Big Mac.” Fluttershy had a quiet resolution in her voice that was ruined by the soft blush that coloured her cheeks when she heard what she’d said.
Macintosh looked over them both before giving a single, slow nod. The red giant moved through the large, open doors into the interior of the barn, calling out over his shoulder. “Apple Bloom! Help me get these apples ready for tomorrow.”
Rainbow hadn’t noticed Apple Bloom crawling up Applejack’s still frozen body, and the little filly had nearly reached the worn Stetson hat perched on Applejack’s head. At her brother’s summons, however, the energetic pony hopped off her sister and followed her sibling into the barn. Rainbow Dash took one look at the slightly salivating farmpony before turning to Fluttershy.
“Are you going to stay here a while longer? Twilight wants everypony to meet at the train station for eight tomorrow, and I’m not sure if Applejack,” she gave the mare a flat stare, “is capable of listening right now.
“Certainly.” Fluttershy gave a small nod. “I still need to go over some of the diets of my fussier houseguests. I really think I should write out a list for Big Mac and Apple Bloom.”
“Thanks! I don’t think those animals have any right to complain about what you’re feeding them, though. It’s not like they’re paying you.” I know I’d be happy with whatever food I got if I was mooching off somepony while I was sick.
“Oh, no, some of my patients are very picky.” she sounded hesitant. “They won’t eat anything at all if it’s not prepared just right.”
“Whatever. See you tomorrow, Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash took off, wings beating hard as she headed back to Ponyville. She didn’t need to hear Fluttershy’s farewell to know the quiet Pegasus had wished her a pleasant evening.
-----
Carasoul Boutique’s pastel colour scheme looked warm and inviting, especially so when lit by the setting sun. Slowly spiraling down, Rainbow Dash caught a glimpse of Rarity through one of the second story windows before touching down in front of the door. Briskly trotting up to the purple door, the pegasus saw a note taped to the inside of the transparent glass inlayed into the door. Closed for the winter season. Limited commissions still available by mail. Send orders to _______________ See you all next Winter Wrap-Up, faithful customers!
Ignoring the closed sign, Rainbow Dash pushed the door open and walked right in. “Hey, Rarity!” she called out, “I have a message for you!” Looking around while waiting for the prissy mare to come down, she noted that the normally spotless display room was now home to a messy, ugly pile of machinery, gears, and widgets that Rarity would be ashamed to be near, let alone own. Was that a bit of oil leaking on the floor?
A noise from the stairs signaled Rarity’s arrival, and Rainbow Dash looked up from the pile of junk on the floor. “Rarity,” she asked, “what is this?” A sweep of her hoof indicated the detritus that would be more at home at a machine shop than a tailors. “And what are you wearing?”
The unicorn’s normally pristine white coat was marred with various black smudges, most likely placed there by the absolutely filthy hooves that the fashionista stood upon. Hooves that saw weekly hooficures were covered in sludgy, black oil. Rainbow Dash could only assume that Rarity had foreseen the mess this could cause throughout her Boutique, as the unicorn had donned distinctly unfashionable booties to protect her floors. Normally, Rarity’s curled coiffure laid delicately draped down her neck, but today it was functionally tied into a tight bun. A tool belt that put Rainbow Dash’s to shame was tied around the barrel of her torso, and, bizarrely, to finish off the ensemble, a pair of red eyeglasses lay perched at the end of her muzzle.
Rainbow Dash could only stare, unsure if she should laugh her flank off or call for psychiatric help to deal with the obviously troubled mare. Wh-what is? Who? The pegasus couldn’t organize her thoughts. Rarity looked at the open door and frowned in disapproval. With a glow of her horn, she closed the portal and walked over to Rainbow.
“I assumed the ponies of this town had the decency to leave a place of business if a closed sign is put up, but I suppose that would be asking too much of you, Rainbow Dash.” The blemished-covered mare walked up to Rainbow, who had decided to forgo both previous options and just stand there, stammering uselessly. Rarity listened to the incoherent babble for a few seconds before turning to the pile and levitating it, leaking oil and all, towards the back of the shop.
“I suppose you think I owe you an explanation for my appearance, and, well, you’re in luck.” Rarity turned one eye on Rainbow Dash, who was following, entranced. “I’m feeling rather generous right now, and I’ll give you one. If, and only if, you swear what you’ve seen here today to secrecy.” Rarity deposited one portion of the pile, selected seemingly at random, into an alcove at the back of her shop.
“I was worried about falling behind, or, Celestia forbid, getting rusty in the field of fabulosity while we had our ‘fun’ gallivanting throughout the jungle.” She deposited another sizable section of the floating machinery on the ground. “So I thought to myself: Rarity, if you’re going to be away from your sewing machines for a while, why not bring your sewing machines with you? I mean, really, most of our time will be spent travelling, hopefully in style, and I only have so many novels I’ve been meaning to read.” Rarity deposited the last of the devices onto the floor. “It’s rare I have a fashion-related problem that I can’t solve with a fancy hat or beautiful dress, but variety is the spice of life.
Still following, Rainbow Dash noticed, for the first time, a curtain covering an unidentifiable shape in the corner of the workspace. Rarity had ended her circular journey here, and had turned towards her. The fashionista continued: “I had picked up quite a bit of practical knowledge concerning the machines I use every day, fixing them when they break down, that sort of thing, and the design appeared, fully formed, in my mind’s eye.” Taking on a dramatic tone, Rarity’s magical field enveloped the curtain. “Who am I, Rainbow Dash, to deny perfection of form and function? To prevent this marriage of utility and transportability? Many times I have felt this feeling while designing dresses, but never before has this occurred with a machine.” She paused. “I present to you, my newest creation! Behold, the...” Rarity faltered. “I haven’t come up with a name yet, but behold anyway!”
Rarity tore off the curtain, and revealed a complex looking device that rivalled anything Rainbow had seen in Twilight’s basement. A veritable forest of levers, cranks, valves and gears was dominated by two giant wheels, and multiple needles lay poised over a flat metal plane at shoulder height. The only use for this diabolical machine that came to Rainbow’s mind was some sort of excruciatingly painful torture implement.
“I see you’re as in awe of it as I was, when it first came to me.” Rarity had placed herself directly next to Rainbow while she was distracted. “I trust that your discretion in the matter of my appearance is assured?” Rarity fluttered her eyes.
Suddenly finding her throat very dry, Rainbow gulped and nodded. Finally finding her voice, she spoke up. “It sure is, um, cool, Rarity. It sure is cool.”
The unicorn looked pleased. Dash hoped she was pleased. “How delightful! I know how much that can mean, coming from you!” Rarity magicked a lock of hair that had fallen out of her bun back into place. “You claimed earlier to be delivering a message?”
“Oh. Yeah.” I’m going to need to do a lot of flying to clear my head before getting to sleep tonight. “Twilight wanted everypony to know that we’re leaving at eight tomorrow morning, by train.” She really needed to get out of here. She shouldn’t be alone in a room with Rarity and that... thing. “Unless you need some more time with the rack- I mean, to pack. Your stuff, that is.”
“Oh, I didn’t think we’d be travelling by train so early! I’ll get to test the elegance of my design sooner than I’d thought!” Rarity pressed one cheek against Rainbow’s and gestured up and down her nightmarish machine. “Imagine, so many devices, blended into one! The art I’ll create with this! It is a gift that will keep on giving!”
“Great! Now that you got the message, I can get out of your way!” Rainbow squirmed out of Rarity's clutches and made for the door. Instead of smoothly opening the door and flying away, however, she crashed into a tightly barred exit.
Rarity released her magical hold on the door as Rainbow Dash slumped into a heap, dazed. “Remember, Rainbow. Not a word.”
Shaking the stars circling her, the terrified pegasus burst through the door and into the open air without looking back. It was going to be a late training session tonight.