//------------------------------// // Breaking the charm // Story: Equestria Girls: The Looking Glass World of Cheese and Pie // by scoots2 //------------------------------// “So we play Cloudsdale on Saturday,” said Rainbow Dash, unconsciously throwing her shoulders back, “and we’re gonna hand them their pride on a platter, but I’m calling a lot of extra practices, just in case. ‘Not an elite program,’ my—” “Rainbow really wants to win,” Fluttershy said quickly, cutting off the end of Dash’s sentence. “Yessiree!” agreed Pinkie. “We went to lunch with that Dusty girl and she was okay but kinda snootie-patootie about Canterlot High, but don’t worry, Dashie, you’re gonna show her and I’ll be there cheering for you and we’re gonna win GO WONDERCOLTS!” she ended with a shriek, producing pompoms from somewhere and waving them. The other occupants of the cafeteria didn’t even turn their heads. Outbreaks of school pep from Pinkie weren’t unusual enough for them to notice anymore. The girls had already been seated around their lunch table for some time before Cheese arrived holding his tray, which was, as always, heaped with food. He didn’t sit down, but said to Pinkie, “I’m sorry about leaving your party like that. It was really rude.” Rainbow Dash waved at Cheese to sit. “Aw, for crying out loud, Cheese,” she snapped. “We already told Pinkie what happened, and we all know it wasn’t your fault, so quit apologizing and just siddown.” Cheese slid his tray onto the table and sat down at his usual place between Rainbow Dash and Pinkie. “Dashie and Fluttershy explained you had to go home,” said Pinkie. “I’m not mad at you. I’m just sorry you couldn’t stay. We had a nice time. We even saved you some cake. Look!” She dove down for her backpack and brought out a slice of birthday cake, neatly wrapped in a Sugarcube’s plastic box. Cheese shook his head. “I don’t think I can eat that.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes, you can, Cheese. You eat everything that isn’t nailed down, and that cake’s so good it’d be criminal not to eat it.” Cheese conceded the point by flipping open the lid and picking up a fork. “Surprised that happened, though,” she added. “I thought your Aunt Mela was softening up.” “That wasn’t Aunt Mela.” Cheese said bitterly. “That was my mother.” He jabbed the cake viciously, then dropped the fork. “Two thirty in the morning!” he burst out. “She stayed up till two thirty in the morning, or got up, I’m not sure which, just so she could call over to Aunt Mela’s and see if I was there, half an hour before my curfew. That’s why she called on my cell. And she was really mad about my playing the accordion at a party.” “Two thirty in the morning?” said Rarity, who had been studying the pages of a Prench fashion magazine. “Goodness, that’s a large time difference. She must be quite far away. Where was she calling from?” Cheese shrugged. “Saddle Arabia, somewhere like that. I don’t bother to keep track of where they are anymore.” They all waited for him to continue, and finally he sighed and said, “Oh, all right. My parents are in the Foreign Service, and they’re almost always on field assignments. Sometimes they’re both stationed in the same country, and sometimes they’re not, and I don’t know if that makes any difference to them. Anyway, it’s a nuisance to have a kid around, so they’ve been placing me in boarding schools for years, only I don’t do too well, and they have to keep moving me around, too.” “What about the summers?” asked Fluttershy. “Do they send you to camp?” Cheese hesitated, avoiding their eyes and rubbing one hand through his hair until it bristled. “Well,” he said, “once or twice I stayed out in the country, but I wouldn’t call it a camp, exactly. No, I wouldn’t call it a camp at all. You guys, this is super depressing, and I really don’t want to talk about it, ok?” “I know what you mean!” exclaimed Pinkie, who already had a dribble glass, a red nose, and Groucho glasses lined up in front of her. “It’s driving me coco-loco just hearing about it!” Fluttershy shook her head. “Pinkie Pie, that’s not very nice: making jokes instead of listening to poor Cheese. I’m sorry,” she added. “I didn’t mean to criticize.” “No, I knew you’d understand, Pinks!” exclaimed Cheese. He grinned an overly-bright grin. “So this pony walks into a bar, and says . . .” “There’s more, isn’t there?” said Applejack, knitting her brows. Cheese sighed again. “She read Aunt Mela the riot act for not enforcing the rules hard enough. People tend to do what she wants. My mother’s good at that. So Aunt Mela’s cracking down on me. She called Vice Principal Luna to verify that the tutoring sessions were real, and Vice Principal Luna checked with Sunset Shimmer, and she was able to show that they were. My curfew’s cut back to five pm, weeknights and weekends. Oh, yes, and I’m not allowed to play the accordion in public anymore. Ever.” He waved his arms, switching into an entirely different voice in a desperate rapid patter. “So this mule says to a hippogriff, ‘I hear you got stuck in the subway doors last week.’ ‘Yeah,’ says the hippogriff, ‘I got out on a wing and a hair.’ Then the mule says, ‘Are you ok?’ And the hippogriff says ‘not really, there’s still a lot of me lion around.’ Get it?” he said, leaning forward again with an even bigger grin, his elbows on the table. “Because a hippogriff’s part lion, and—ok, I’m a little off-form today.” He dropped his head down onto his crossed arms. “Whoa, there,” said Applejack, who evidently did not want to let this go. “Did you say you can’t play the accordion?” Cheese lifted his head. “No playing the accordion in public. That’s right.” He dropped his head back onto his arms again. “Pfft,” said Rainbow Dash. “How’s she gonna stop you from doing that?” There was a long pause. Finally, Cheese said, “She made me promise I wouldn’t. She knows I don’t break promises. She knows me.” “Whew,” said Applejack, and whistled. “No wonder you lie all the time. We were wondering.” “What?” snapped Cheese, jerking upright. “Did you call me a liar, Applejack?” Pinkie shook her head. “No, no, Applejack didn’t mean it that way, Cheesie! Did you, Applejack? Not exactly.” Cheese relaxed visibly, and Pinkie added, “But you don’t exactly tell all the way the truth, either. I don’t blame you. If I were you, I’d lie, too.” “I’d just bite my tongue a whole, whole lot,” said Applejack, “but you know I can bend the truth, too. I’ve bent it for you, Cheese. So I ain’t judging you. I don’t even think a person should ask a person to promise something like that.” “Listen, Cheesie,” said Pinkie. “If you play the accordion by yourself in the band room during lunch, that’s not public, is it?” “No, of course not.” “And if we just happened to be there sometimes, that’s still not public, right?” “I don’t think so.” “Good,” said Pinkie, “ ‘cause that’s what I’m gonna do and I know we all will. And you’re still sad and that’s making me super-sad, too, so here’s a cupcake.” She opened her hand and revealed a perfect miniature cupcake resting in her palm. “Wow, thanks,” said Cheese, placing it on the table. “I really—” “And a hug.” She hugged Cheese tightly, and he smiled his first real smile that day. “That really did help,” he said. “Thanks, Boss.” “I have to keep my assistant happy, right?” Pinkie replied, giving him a last squeeze before letting go. “And we’ll fix it so you can still work on the festival, ‘cause I’m not firing you and I’m not doing this all by myself. We’ll get around your mom’s rules somehow.” “And if the rules aren’t right and it’s not a game, break ‘em,” said Rainbow Dash. “That’s what I always say. Now, let’s talk about me for a while.” ~~ “OK, so maybe I am just a teeny weeny little bit nervous. Heh-heh,” said Rainbow Dash. Everyone had had a very stressful week. Dash had been calling extra practices, but now, on the afternoon of the Canterlot-Cloudsdale game, there was little she could do but send her team home with orders to get plenty of rest, and wait. Cheese had no choice but to obey his new curfew, and despite their best attempts to work via texts and email, Pinkie was forced to take up more of the burden of planning. Spring was a busy time at the Apple farm and Fluttershy’s animal rescue. The boutique was swamped with bridal orders, and Rarity was putting in extra hours, soothing the nerves of frazzled brides and reassuring them that their dresses would arrive and be perfectly fitted in time for their weddings. And all of them were uneasily aware that the school year would be coming to an end in a few weeks and that finals were nearly upon them. No one was using the gym today. This was rare, so Pinkie and Cheese had seized the opportunity to rig the ceiling grid with wires for lights, decorations, and a number of other surprises they had planned. It was a massive project, and it had to be done as quickly as possible, before the gym started to be used every day for commencement practice and similar activities in addition to the usual full schedule. Rainbow Dash agreed to open up the gym for them. She’d been entrusted with a set of keys, because in addition to being the captain of the soccer team, she was a sort of unofficial student assistant athletic coordinator. “Eh, I practically live there anyway,” she explained, as she unlocked the padlock and chain that fastened the inside doors. “You guys have gotta get this done, and I have gotta blow off a little steam.” She waved Pinkie and Cheese inside, and then darted in herself, bouncing from foot to foot like a boxer. “Aw, thanks, Dashie,” said Pinkie, clutching a large basket of wires and hooks, as Cheese followed, carrying a large tool chest. “We’ll get this done super-fast, and don’t you worry. I’ll be there tomorrow screaming at you and you know you’ll be ok.” Dash stopped bouncing and rolled her eyes. “Yeah—most people call that cheering, Pinkie.” “Not when I do it!” said Pinkie. She turned to Cheese. “Dashie’s awesome, but she always does better if I scream at her.” “Emphasis on the awesome,” Dash agreed, as she unzipped her jacket and began stretching her muscles, “but Pinkie’s my good luck charm. The whole team feels better when we can hear her, and you can’t help hearing her. Probably for miles.” “Too bad you can’t be there, Cheesie,” said Pinkie, putting down the basket. “Have you ever led cheers before?” “All-boys’ schools, remember? Sure I have,” he said, as he flipped open the tool chest and began selecting what they’d need: wire cutters, pliers, and Allen wrenches. “But it sounds as though I’ve been missing out on something special.” “Aw, yeah,” Dash agreed, flexing her arm muscles. “Oh, yes, and I’m sure you’re probably pretty good too, Dash,” Cheese finished, and pretended to be examining a set of pliers while Dash snorted in annoyance. “So how do you want to tackle this, Boss?” “Let’s grab the ladders and set them up over there and over there,” Pinkie said, zipping around the gym floor, “and I’ll get up in the grid first and you can hand me stuff and we’ll go from there, ok?” “Ok,” he agreed, “although I should probably get up there myself, too, because we’re really short on time and we’ll never get it all done if you do all the wiring.” “Lemme know when you’re ready to go, so I can lock up,” called Dash, as Pinkie and Cheese grabbed the ladders. She picked up a basketball and began dribbling it from hand to hand. Pinkie and Cheese placed the ladders and got to work. They were a blur of movement as they began weaving in and out of the ceiling grid, occasionally leaping and twisting with tools in their hands in a way that more closely resembled a circus act than a technical set up. It was impossible to hear anything else from their vantage point, unless someone stood on the ground directly underneath and called up. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash played one on one against herself. Several times, it looked as though she might beat herself, but it finally ended in a tie. She disappeared into the weight room for some time, while Pinkie and Cheese continued to work at top speed. They didn’t even notice the slamming of doors and the fall of weights as Rainbow Dash worked out. Finally, she contented herself by running laps until she was pouring with sweat. Cheese’s phone went off. “Aw, Cheddar,” he said, hanging off the ladder. “I have to go home. And we’re nowhere close to being done.” “I could keep going,” offered Pinkie. “I’m not even tired!” “No, that’s a bad idea,” Cheese replied, as he began stowing tools. “You shouldn’t work at heights like that without someone else here. It’s just not safe.” “Gotta agree there, Pinkie,” Dash said loudly, panting as she did so. “Giving 100% is one thing, but you don’t want to be reckless. And I have to hit the showers and go home. I need to rest up before tomorrow, too.” “Aw, phooey,” said Pinkie, coming down the ladder as Cheese held it for her. “There goes our last chance to get done. And I just know we could finish it tonight!” “Well . . .” said Cheese, “maybe I could sneak out. It would have to be 8:30 or 9 at the earliest: sometime after dinner when Aunt Mela would expect me to be in my room and wouldn’t be paying attention. But that’s not fair to Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow Dash hesitated, and fished for the keys she’d left in her track jacket. “I’ve got these,” she said, looking at them. “They unlock the front and back doors, the locker room, the janitor’s closet—pretty much everything.” She curled her hand around the keys. “Coach and Vice Principal Luna let me have them because they think I’m responsible, and that means a lot to me. You have to promise me you’ll let me have them back as soon as you’re done with them. Right away.” “Of course, Dashie,” chirped Pinkie, and held her hand out for the keys. “Are you going to be at Cloudsdale for the game?” “Yes indeedily!” “Are you sure?” insisted Dash. “Because if you’re not sure, I could get in a lot of trouble.” “That’s a Pinkie Pie promise!” Pinkie assured her. Rainbow Dash sighed. “Well, I guess a promise doesn’t get stronger than that, so here,” she said, handing them over, “take them. Be super-careful, ok? Leave everything exactly where you found it, and for gosh sakes, try not to make too much noise. Vice Principal Luna works late. Some people swear they’ve seen the light in her office burn all night. She’s all the way on the opposite side of the building, near the annex, but don’t take any chances.” Pinkie attached the keys to a lanyard around her neck. “Okey-dokey-lokey!” she said. Moving ladders around makes a lot of noise. Enough to cover, say, the slam of a door. ~~ “I want you to know,” muttered Applejack, as she steered her old pickup truck towards the East Side of town, “that I want nothing to do with this foolishness. The only reason I am driving you is because I don’t want you and Cheese wandering across town on foot in the middle of the night when y’all don’t have the sense God gave geese.” “Uh-huh,” said Pinkie, looking out the window. “I think it’s on the next block.” Neither Pinkie nor Applejack were familiar with this section of Canterlot. The Apple farm was located on the far Western edge of town, which was slowly being gobbled up by the suburbs, and Sugarcube’s and the Cake’s upstairs apartment was in the historic downtown district. This neighborhood ran to large older houses and streets so lined with trees that the sidewalks must have been heavily shadowed, even in mid-afternoon. “Here!” cried Pinkie, and suddenly jabbed at the window past Applejack. Applejack was so startled that she slammed on the brakes, and they both shot forward slightly before she brought the truck up to an idle, right in front of the house. “You sure this is it, Pinkie?” said Applejack, eyebrows furrowed. “Because this looks like one of those comedy haunted houses with the creepy butler.” “Ooo, wouldn’t that be cool?” Pinkie enthused. “Although—nah, I guess if there was a cool creepy butler, Cheesie would already have been doing imitations of him or something, so it’s probably just him and his aunt.” She sighed. “Too bad.” “Yeah, well, I’m not one for the ‘goot evenink’ and a bunch of bats, so you double-check and make sure this is the right address before we go looking,” said Applejack, rolling her eyes as they both got out of the truck. The house didn’t really look haunted at all, merely old, surrounded by a lot of tall trees. Nothing was broken or neglected, and the front yard was perfectly tidy. Nevertheless, it did not look like a particularly fun place to live. “What do we do?” whispered Applejack. “We can’t just waltz up to the front door and ask for Cheese. Wish he’d told us how he was supposed to get to us.” “Oh, he texted me earlier,” said Pinkie. “He said to go around the right side of the house and throw a rock or something up towards the window. He said we couldn’t miss it.” They slipped inside the tall hedge and followed it around towards the back of the house near a tall mimosa tree, where a light was shining from a third-floor window. “Look! I bet that’s it!” Pinkie exclaimed. They carefully crept closer to the window. Pinkie reached down and picked up a rock the size of a fist, but Applejack stopped her just in time. “Hold on there, sugarcube. I got this.” Applejack lifted a handful of gravel from the path, and threw a few upwards. There was a light pattering sound as the small rocks landed against the house. It was, in fact, the correct window, because Cheese opened it, waved, and swung his leg over the window ledge. He launched himself out towards the mimosa, grabbed a bough, and spun himself completely around it, landing on a bough several feet below it. He steadied himself against the trunk, and then climbed down several more feet before pausing again. “Psst! Cheesie!” hissed Pinkie. “We’re down here!” Cheese, who had just begun to climb down further, missed his footing and slid ungracefully the rest of the way down, bringing two or three boughs along with him. He landed on a heap of feathery boughs and pink fronds, As he picked himself up, a shrill voice rang out— “You’re in a lot of trouble, young man!” He winced. “Oh, Stilton.” “You’re in a lot of trouble, young man! Whee-oot. Prrrrpt. You’re in a lot of trouble, young man!” “Psst, c’mon! Let’s move!” hissed Cheese, sprinting away. “What in the . . . ?” murmured Applejack, but she ran the rest of the way towards the truck with Pinkie and Cheese. “Aunt Mela’s macaw, Filbert,” explained Cheese, as he clicked his seatbelt. “She made the mistake of saying that a bunch of times the first day I got here. I don’t know what he used to do—sea chanteys, psalms, nautical slang, sailor’s language—but he seems to like this better. Luckily, she tunes him out by now, so hopefully she won’t have noticed anything.” “Y’know, everything’s a lot more interesting with you around, Cheese,” remarked Applejack, as she put the truck in gear. She hit the gas and the old engine snarled in protest. “Thanks!” “That wasn’t a compliment.” ~~ “I really don’t want to be a part of this,” explained Applejack, as they pulled into the parking lot adjoining the gym. “I feel bad enough being your getaway driver, but it seemed like the safest thing to do. I’m gonna stay out here near the truck and maybe listen to the radio for a while. If you need anything or when you’re ready to go home, you know right where I’ll be.” She parked the truck. It really wasn’t very far from the outside door—just far enough away to soothe Applejack’s guilty conscience. Pinkie wasn’t at all fooled, and gave Applejack a big hug. Pinkie unlocked the padlock, took off the chain, unlocked the outer doors, and then slipped inside and quickly disarmed the security system as Rainbow Dash had shown her earlier. Then she waved Cheese inside. They turned on the lights. Pinkie unpacked the tools and immediately made for one of the ladders, but Cheese stopped her. “Pinkie? Does anything seem off to you?” “Off? What kind of off?” “I don’t know,” he said, glancing around. “Rainbow Dash said to leave everything exactly where we found it, so I took a look around right before we left. I could swear that something isn’t the same as it was before, but I couldn’t tell you what it was.” Pinkie turned around, scanning the gym. “Huh. I know what you mean. Something feels kind of funny to me, too. Still,” she said, “we’ve gotta get this done anyhoo, so we might as well get started now. Could you hold the ladder and bring up the tools? I’m going back to where I left off.” They climbed up into the grid and continued the wiring, moving faster than before, slipping in and out of the pipes high above the floor. They had made substantial progress, but weren’t really finished, when Cheese put down his wrench, yawned, and rubbed his eyes. “Wow, I am bushed. What time is it?” He answered his own question by looking at his watch. “It’s 11:30. Are you tired?” “Nope-nope-nope!” said Pinkie, spinning around a pipe. “Not tired at all! I’m, like, never tired anymore. Isn’t that cool?” Cheese furrowed his brows. Evidently, he didn’t think that was cool at all. “You aren’t?” he said, suspicion tingeing his voice. “Nope!” “You ate hardly anything at lunch,” said Cheese. “I saw you. What did you have for dinner?” “Oh, just a candy bar,” Pinkie said quickly, “but that’s ok, I really like candy bars ‘cause they’re sweet and they’re fast to eat and I’ve got a lot to do and maybe they’re not the best thing for you to eat and kinda really bad for your teeth, but you can’t have everything.” Cheese hesitated, and then seemed to make a decision. He began to pack up his tools and started moving towards one of the ladders. “I don’t care if this is none of my business. I’m making this my business. How much sleep have you been getting?” “Sleep? What’s sleep?” fluted Pinkie. “Sleep’s silly. It’s a huge waste of time when I’ve got this and the cake festival and the cupcakes and all that other stuff to do.” “Uh, Pinkie? I think maybe we should quit now,” Cheese said slowly, backing down the ladder. “We can get the rest of this done later. Just come on down, very carefully, and then you really need to get some food into you and get some sleep, ok?” “Oh, no, silly,” Pinkie replied, giggling. “I’m fine. I could do this all night. See?” She jumped from one of the metal girders towards the next, wire in one hand. ~~ Applejack had grown tired of listening to the radio. The wait had begun to seem very long to her, and when she saw on the dashboard clock that it was a half-hour to midnight, she made up her mind to go into the gym and ask Pinkie and Cheese if they meant to do this all night. Just as she slammed the car door, she heard an ominous creak, a brief high-pitched cry, cut short, and a tremendous metallic crash. She flew towards the gym, flung open the doors, and froze. Part of a steel girder lay on the floor, scarring the wood, while a number of smaller steel connectors, wires, tools, and other objects were scattered nearby. Pinkie sagged like a rag doll, eyes glazed, a cut on her forehead bleeding profusely. She was leaning on Cheese, who sat propping her up and holding one of his arms, which was bent in a bizarre, unnatural angle. “AJ?” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Could you please call 911? I can’t reach my phone.”