//------------------------------// // Entry #25 // Story: Human in Pony's clothing // by TheDawsonator1 //------------------------------// Soooo, I gotta admit something right now, knowing what happens here is sort of boring, I mean it’s alright but it takes the thrill out you know? Can you imagine if somepony went into every horror film and told every detail so everypony could survive? BOOOOORRRRIIIIIING! But I guess that’s what I get for being some sort of Time Vigilante. So it’s su-wait…it’s actually raining? WHAT IS THIS BLACK MAGIC?! And it’s snowing as well? Has the seasons come so inconsistent that it rains and snows at the same time now? Lazy flank magic… Wait…this seems familiar, the clouds even look weird and patterned…I think the time has come. Just as I suspected, Rarity is messing with the weather, which means Twilight has completely bucked her friends over with the incomplete spell, remember kids, attempting incomplete spells by a random wizard-like pony is good for you! Wait…if Unicorns can control weather, then how come they didn’t try to do anything about it when the Windigoes attacked? HOLY PLOT HOLES BATMANE!! Damn Unicorn master race promotions… Whatever, wait…another thought just occurred to me. If the cutie marks are switched and they act as though they never had the original ones, does that mean that cutie marks are like mind control thingys? They could all be Mind controlling everypony except for newborn foals and the CMC…DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! But that’s ridiculous right? So anyway, I find Cloud Kicker clearly annoyed about this weather, but at least it’s raining for once…now it’s snowing, er raining, sunny, cloudy ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH! WHY DO I CARE ABOUT THE WEATHER SO MUCH!!! “Sup Kicker?” I greeted her. “The sky Bolty, apparently Rarity is trying to do OUR job! She’s failing miserably though” CK replied pointing towards the Unicorn “That’s normal, it’ll be fixed by the end of today” I said “Hopefully soon, it’s really killing me inside watching a Unicorn trying to do a Pegasi’s job” CK said looking at Rarity “I hear ya” I said “So how is this even happening anyway?” CK asked “Well Twilight tried an incomplete spell and it switched her friends cutie marks, so basically it goes like this… Rarity= Rainbow Dash Pinkie Pie= Applejack Rainbow Dash= Fluttershy Applejack= Rarity Fluttershy= Pinkie Pie And yeah, Twilight’s gonna fix that” I explained “That’s messed up if you ask me” CK said shivering at the thought of switched cutie marks “And the worst part is that they all suck at their cutie marks such as Exhibit A over there” I pointed to Rarity struggling to fix a snow cloud “What’re we gonna do until this is over?” CK asked me “I have no idea” I admitted “I say we find a mare to bed early” CK suggested “You can, but I’m committed to Firefly, and if the universe would stop trying to cockblock me then I would be happy” I said, remembering all the times that has happened. “Yeah, maybe you should try it while everything else is happening?” CK suggested something I should do “Nah, maybe we’ll just go get a drink” I said “Okay, but you’re helping me find a good pony to bed” CK said “Agreed” I agreed Dear Luna, I have not been here in a while. CK and I entered the bar, which was owned by Berry Punch. “Ah, there you two are! I thought you’d completely forgot about us” Berry Punch said to her usual customers “We’ve been busy, Berry” I said “Weather waits for nopony” CK said “Weather includes Rainbow Dash” I muttered “Well, go sit down and I’ll be right with you” Berry pointed her hooves at a table You are probably scoffing at me right now and saying “But Bolty, it’s always sunny and all, how do you have so much work?” What? Did you think our job consisted of nothing but kicking clouds and making rain? OF COURSE BLOODY NOT YOU MORONS! There’s a thing called Paperwork (Or Parchmentwork since Paper doesn’t exist here), yes the very art of wasting hours on pointless crap and thank the goddesses ponies speak and write English for some unexplained reason. But honestly, at least half this paperwork is so pointless! But, I don’t call the shots so I can’t do jack buck about it, unless of course you want me to be broke and have no house, no food and basically die or feed off bins again and that was an unpleasant experience to go through once thank you very much! Berry Punch was the owner of this bar we always went to but all this “Parchment” work has kept us tired from plain boredom that we don’t have time, plus Discord running loose a couple of episodes ago. “You seen Firefly anywhere?” I asked noticing she was missing “No, I think she might be sick” CK answered in an unsure way “Her loss I guess, besides, a stallion needs a drink” I said “So do mares Bolty, believe me, sticking around Rainbow Dash too much does that sometimes” CK explained “So what will it be today?” Berry punch came and asked us “Cider for me” I said “Pegasi surprise for me” CK answered “Coming right up” BP turned away You’re wondering what a Pegasi Surprise is, aren’t you? Well it’s a special kind of drink that only Pegasus ponies can really enjoy, something to do with the magic inside Pegasus ponies and that, they have one for Unicorns and Earth Ponies. Alicorns enjoy all three the lucky bastards, and they have one that only they can enjoy. Despite the Mary-sueness being an Alicorn would ensue, it would be cool to be one, you have so much power, live forever, and you have all the races combined. I guess the problem is that Tradition makes Alicorns have to be royal and all that and I’m not one for that and the whole outlive your friends thing, so I’ll stick with being a Pegasus thank you very much! I’ve always loved the free feeling of being able to fly, I’d take it any day over Magic although it could have been useful when the Changelings invaded or something. But still, I like flying and flying I shall do! “Here you go” BP said as she sat next to us with her own drink “Cheers” CK said “Well, To good drinks” BP said “To all the Mares and Stallions that I will bang” CK said “To the freedom of flying and Firefly” I said before muttering “and to Princess Twilight” We all banged our glasses together and downed them… Later that Night… CK had found a mare by the name of Burnt Rubble, don’t ask, I don’t get the name either but she is actually more attractive than she sounds and she is actually one of those ponies that demolish things. Hey, there’s nothing more satisfying in life than destroying the stuffing out of something without consequence. So it was about 7am by the time we got out of the bar, in other words, we spent the whole day in that bar and Firefly was sick as I did go to find her, poor mare. So I was walking back home and passing by the library when Spike and the Mane Six minus Twilight came running to me. “Lightning Bolt! We need to talk to you!” Dash started “if you’re worried about Twilight, she’s fine” I said, already knowing what’s up “How did you know? Are you physic?” Pinkie asked “Yes Pinkie, yes I am! But seriously though, she’ll be back soon as she’s just ascending” I explained “Ascending? What in tarnation does that mean?” AJ asked “Well, let’s just say she’s becoming a rising star if you get my drift” I said cryptically What? I’m allowed to have some fun over here! FINE THEN! You readers are no fun! I’ll go find Discord or something, at least he laughs at my jokes… “Alright, I’m done, just look up” I pointed up in the sky “What are we looking at” Dash said confused On cue, a light with Twilight’s cutie mark descended upon us, it was quite beautiful actually. What’s This? Twilight Sparkle is evolving! Twilight appeared and she spread out her new wings which had everypony in awe. Twilight has evolved into a Twilicorn!! So they talked and Celestia revealed that Twilight is a princess now, I gotta say it’s a bit rude to go making ponies Princesses without asking them first but Twilight is up to it so no harm done I suppose. I decided to leave and let them have their moment, we’ll call it Mission Accomplished for now…