//------------------------------// // Part 11: A Conversation, a Party, an Avalanche // Story: Lost in a Terrifying World // by Erisn //------------------------------// Eldritch beings did not have mental breakdowns. That was what Slender kept telling himself. But that didn’t help much, because that still didn’t explain the apparition before him. Pinkie Pie was sitting down in her room, but she was not in her room but the twisted version that resided in Slender’s dimension. And she was talking to him. “Y’know, I’m not sure I really like this place,” Pinkie Pie said, poking a shadowy reflection of her bed. “It seems kinda dark and boring. Except there’s no light. Or color. Which is boring. What you really need is a bunch of balloons, and some confetti. That would make this place look a whole lot better.” Slender said nothing. He was having a hard enough time processing what was happening without replying to Pinkie Pie. His mind wrestled with the incomprehensibility of her presence, but at the same time he was analyzing her with all of his senses. They came up blank. No magic, no emissions of particles, energy, or even faith. Science, magic, and religion were all the basis of all power in realities. Without one of these forces at work, Pinkie Pie couldn’t have traveled here. But even if she had enough magic to power a big bang, Slender knew it wouldn’t be able to allow her to enter his world. Sufficient amounts of energy could allow one to breach the walls of reality, but this place was part of his being in a way. The only thing that could enter this plane of existence would be— Slender didn’t have eyes, but if he did, they would have narrowed. There was no other explanation for it. Pinkie Pie was literally doing the impossible, and Slender knew what impossible meant. Humans liked to say many things were impossible when they really were possible, but Slender didn’t exaggerate. When something was impossible, it was impossible, and Pinkie Pie’s presence here was impossible. But there was one type of being that could do even the impossible. Even gods have limits, however few, but restrictions only applied to those beings that lived inside of reality. The eldritch could do as they pleased. And that was it. Slender realized what his mistake had been. He couldn’t imagine any pony, or any mortal or immortal being from any reality finding their way into his dimension. That was impossible, plain and simple. But he could imagine another one of his kind making their way here. And then it hit the Slender Man, and he stared at Pinkie Pie again as he fully understood what he was thinking. Pinkie Pie was an eldritch being. She had to be. Nothing else made sense, and even the things that didn’t make sense didn’t fit the bill. But that was… Impossible. Slender spoke without thinking. It wasn’t the speech of vibrations and molecules bouncing together that ponies and humans used. Slender couldn’t speak in that sense. But there are countless other ways to communicate, and Slender had access to several. And what he had spoken with was the language of the eldritch, as far as those words could be applied. It wasn’t words, or even thought that Slender projected, but a reverberation of his being. To any other eldritch being that felt that, it was not only an expression of Slender’s identity, but of his current emotions, feelings, and thoughts. It was like telepathy, but far, far more intimate, and so complex that even angels would have failed to understand the Slender Man. But Pinkie Pie did. And she spoke back. Impossible is just a word, silly! It doesn’t mean anything. You should know that! If the Slender Man had been in shock before, it was nothing compared to this. But it wasn’t just shock; it was the sudden understanding of what Pinkie Pie was. He had been so confused by her seemingly magical abilities, but they had been beyond even what magic was capable of. And she had no magic, he could tell. But that didn’t matter because she was— Just like you? Pinkie Pie asked. Maybe. But I don’t think I’m nearly as scary as you. You’re sorta grey and funny-looking except you’re not that funny, and you have weird hooves and no face. I’m just a pony. That was true. But she clearly demonstrated traits that were unique to eldritch-kind. Pinkie Pie was an eldritch being, just like the Slender Man. There could be no doubt about it. I’m an eldritch being too? How cool is that? Pinkie Pie gasped. I just realized! That would means we’re totally like brothers! Or sisters! Or siblings! Can I call you big brother? But then why had she not felt the call? What call? It should have sung in her soul, reverberated throughout her being at her creation. The call. The urge to kill, to maim, to rid worlds of life and plunge them screaming into the abyss! That doesn’t sound like too much fun. Pinkie Pie bounced up to the ceiling and then stood on it. I like all my friends, and I wouldn’t want to plunge Equestria into the screaming abyss. Anyways, if there were nobody around who would I have to party with? Without people, there are only rocks, and rocks are boooooring. I should know! I worked on a rock farm when I was a filly. Slender nodded to himself. It was all making more sense. She was eldritch, sure enough. There could be no denying it. Ooh! Cool! Do I get a hat or something? Maybe there’s a secret hoofshake! She was eldritch, but not completely so. What!? Pinkie Pie fell off the ceiling and landed on the ground with a thump. She floated back up to stare at the Slender Man. I’m not a crazy murdering monster from another dimension? Why not? Her eyes narrowed. It’s because I’m pink, isn’t it? Slender tried to ignore her. Hey! That’s really rude, you know! But I forgive you, because that’s what good ponies do. It is extremely difficult to keep thoughts private when your entire being could be read by another eldritch. But Slender was thinking hard. Pinkie Pie wasn’t truly one of the eldritch, but neither was she completely normal either. She was some kind of half-breed, although that word was completely inaccurate to her true nature. I should say so! My mother was a pony and my father was too! They didn't have weird tentacle things and gooey eyes! Pinkie Pie thought about this for a moment. I think. Slender Man was trying to remember. He hadn’t encountered such beings before, but he had heard stories. Some of the eldritch had told him of encounters with individuals such as Pinkie, caught between reality and the unknown. Excuse me, Pinkie Pie sniffed, but I prefer to think of it as me catching reality and not the other way around. They were not part of the game. They obeyed none of the rules that governed the eldritch, and had their own moral codes. Some were killers, while others fought their own kind, and upheld notions like justice, freedom, and hope. Holding up hope sounds like really hard work. Is it heavy? I’d rather hold up something like laughter or pie instead. Actually, I’d rather eat pie. Who had he heard about from Crayak last time they had met? Ah yes, there had been that Doctor that had caused so much trouble for so many of the eldritch. Doctor? Who? And then there was the fat man Slender had heard so much about. He didn’t do much most of the year apparently, but for one night he would deliver coal and presents to children and eat all of their cookies for some reason. What a jerk! Yes. Now the Slender thought about it, he was sure that he had also heard of some kind of vampire that had started hunting other vampires. He had apparently transcended beyond even the limits of immortality, and had become something close to eldritch. He was also a snappy dresser, apparently. What had been his name? Alla…Cards? Something like that. A vampire that hunts other vampires? That sounds so cool! You know, Fluttershy turned into a vampony once, but she only at fruits. And she didn’t sparkle! How weird is that? Slender refocused on Pinkie Pie. She had certainly mastered the new physics of his dimension. She was floating in the center of her room, weightless, limbs outstretched as if she were free-falling. Look! I’m in space! Spaaaaaaace! The Slender Man couldn’t get headaches, but his head still hurt. So, Pinkie was eldritch. He really shouldn’t have been surprised. All the clues were there. But so what? A pony was still a pony, even if she could ignore the laws of physics. And even if she was overly talkative, Slender had to admit that she wasn’t that bad. Really? That’s so nice! Pinkie Pie landed back on the floor and beamed up at the Slender Man. Nopony’s ever told me I wasn’t that bad! Normally they say I’m eccentric, or energetic, or crazy! Pinkie Pie slowly levitated upwards until she was face to face with the Slender Man. You know Mr. Slender Man, I’m really glad I met you. At first I thought you were a big meanie-pants jerk with no face who liked to hurt innocent ponies, but you’re not as bad as I thought! I don’t know why you’re not killing me and everypony, but I’m glad that you just wanna have fun. Pinkie Pie landed gently on the ground and bounded up to the Slender Man. So guess what? Pinkie Pie threw open the door to her room. I know Twilight said I wasn’t supposed to take you around Ponyville, but since we’re in your dimension that probably doesn’t count. She leaned towards the Slender Man. I won’t tell Twilight if you won’t. Pinkie Promise! And I can show you all my friends and the cool places around Ponyville without giving anypony a heart attack which is great! The Slender Man considered this. That didn’t sound too bad, actually, and it beat sitting in Pinkie Pie’s bedroom until Twilight got back. He had fled, well, retreated to his dimension for peace and quiet, but it wasn’t nearly as bad now that Pinkie Pie could understand what he was thinking. A trip around this ‘Equestria’ didn’t sound too bad after all. Alright! ROADTRIP! However, he would insist on a modicum of silence and restraint on Pinkie Pie’s part. No endless chatter. Aw. Do I have to? I’m really, really good at talking! Nevertheless. Slender would not budge on this point. Some talk was inevitable, but there was such a thing as restraint. Yeah, but I never have any of that. Pinkie Pie sighed. Okay, I’ll try not to talk all the time. Just most of it. That would have to do. Slender could put up with that, if it was only for an hour or two. He did feel slightly…excited, though. He hadn’t got to check out much of Ponyville, and he wanted to see more than the few places he had been. Alright! You’re going to love it! Let’s go! Pinkie Pie sprang out the door and Slender followed her. First stop is Sugarcube Corner, which is downstairs! And then we’ll go to all the cool places in Ponyville, and then in all of Equestria! We can move a lot faster here so I’m going to show you every amazing place I know, and that’s everywhere! Slender didn’t smile, but he felt a certain uplifting of his spirits. Well, you never knew, did you? This had seemed like hell, or perhaps heaven, but maybe Pinkie Pie’s company might just be tolerable after all. Hey! I heard that! ---- Twilight stared dully at a wall. It wasn’t an interesting wall. It had no noticeable features, and was in fact, as boring as a wall of drying paint. More boring, in fact. But maybe if she stared at it long enough, it would help her blot out the present moment. Pinkie Pie and the Slender Man were gone. Vanished. They weren’t in Pinkie Pie’s room, or anywhere else in Sugarcube Corner. Nopony had seen either leaving the building, and Twilight had set Rainbow Dash, Applejack and the Cutie Mark crusaders as watchers. Applebloom had reported Pinkie Pie flying out the window at one point, but that had probably been a hallucination. Maybe. Twilight wondered whether she could bash her head against the wall hard enough to lose her memory, or at least, consciousness. Cranial trauma could result in loss of intelligence, but Twilight was prepared to take that risk. The Slender Man and Pinkie Pie were no longer here; ergo, they were somewhere outside. In Ponyville, or possible somewhere in Equestria. Twilight had visions of Manehatten burning, and Canterlot crumbling into rubble. Pinkie Pie was a walking disaster, albeit a good-natured and happy one. Twilight loved her earth pony friend, but Pinkie had a way of escalating tense situations. She never caused them herself, but they always got worse when Pinkie was involved. She had once started a war between earth ponies and the buffalo tribes with a song and dance number, and she had nearly caused a Pinkapocalypse when her army of deranged clones invaded Ponyville. Twilight still had nightmares about that day. And now she was out there, somewhere, with a being that had waded through seas of blood and gore he had created. Something terrible was about to happen, Twilight knew it. Somepony was going to die, or the two would cause some horrible disaster, like opening the gates of Tartarus, or destroying the Canterlot Express. Twilight stared at the wall again and felt sweat running down her face. Any moment, she would get a letter from Princess Celestia, about a mysterious explosion, or a sudden disaster in Appleloosa, or Cloudsdale. That would be it. Pinkie Pie and the Slender Man would probably cause Cloudsdale to fall from the sky somehow, and land it on Canterlot. And it would be all her fault. Dimly, Twilight could hear her other four friends talking with Spike in the background. “I don’t think Twilight looks that well,” Spike was saying. “She sorta looks like she did when she forgot to write that letter on friendship. Look at her eye. It keeps twitching.” “Ah don’t reckon she’s overreactin’. Ya think Pinkie Pie and Slender Man together is a good idea?” “I could go fly around Ponyville and check out the area. They can’t have gotten too far.” “But Dash, darling, this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about. Do you really think she’d stay in just Ponyville? That pony would go to the moon for fun if she could figure out how.” “Ah reckon the only reason she hasn’t is ‘cause nopony’s suggested it to her yet. Rarity’s right. Pinkie Pie could go anywhere, and the Slender Man could follow her.” “Oh, but surely they wouldn’t harm anypony? I made the Slender Man promise, and I’m sure he won’t do anything bad.” “Bad? Do you think it matters with Pinkie Pie? That pony could cause an earthquake just by blowing her nose! She’s a walking disaster!” “Hey girls, Twilight is still staring at the wall. She hasn’t blinked in the last five minutes…do you think we should do something?” “Well, I could give her a makeover.” “Ah wouldn’t call that helpful.” “I certainly would. Just look at her complexion! She could win a hideous-face competition with Nightmare Moon.” “Um, Rarity, I don’t think that’s very nice. Anyways, hideous-face competitions don’t exist.” “Nonsense darling, Pinkie Pie held one last week, don’t you remember? She was having a ‘scary story’ party with the all the fillies and colts in Ponyville, remember?” “Ah do. That was tha night Applebloom refused ta go to sleep. She said it was ‘cause of the horrible stories and scary faces.” “Yeah, Scootaloo mentioned that one to me too. Who won the horrible-faces competition anways?” “Pinkie Pie, obviously. And then she had a ‘winning the horrible-faces competition’ party afterword and invited us all, remember? At 4 AM in the morning? Honestly, that pony would party anywhere, any time.” “That’s it!” Twilight suddenly shouted. Everypony’s head turned to her, and Twilight turned from her wall and stared at them with a manic grin. “I’ve got it! We can get Pinkie Pie and the Slender Man to come right here, right now! Equestria is saved! I won’t have to go to magic kindergarten!” There was a delicate pause. “That’s nice, Twilight,” Rarity said carefully. “Uh, do tell us about your plan.” Twilight smiled widely. It was a smile worthy of Pinkie Pie, but on her face, it was also sign for extreme worry. Twilight’s eyes were bloodshot, and she had dark rings that made her wide and happy grin even more disturbing. As one pony (and one dragon), her friends took a careful step back. “We’re going to need hats. Lots of hats.” ---- Slender was enjoying himself. This was a novel experience for him. Here he was, following Pinkie Pie around Equestria, listening to her rambling explanations of various landmarks and ponies they encountered. He was having fun, and there wasn’t so much as a single dead body in the area. That had never happened before. And, to be honest, this was a fun Slender had never funned before. He was quite familiar with the heady rush of closing in on his prey, the sweet, visceral feeling of finally capturing his victim, and the subsequent…dissection afterwards. But they were all strong currents of emotion and feeling that swept him up, and made him burn in the night with terrible desires and urges. This was different. It was a lighter feeling, and owed nothing to the thrill of action or the surges of violence. He wasn’t doing much. He followed Pinkie, listened to her talk, and moved on to the next place. But it was interesting. The party pony of Ponyville had a story for each place she took him to, from the open plains outside of Appleloosa, to the Salt-Block Saloon full of ponies licking salt, the Winsome Falls where rainbows fell from the sky, the Flame Geyser Swamp where Slender saw a chimera pacing to and fro, and many more wondrous places. And the ponies. Pinkie Pie knew every one, and had a story about the adventures and experiences she had shared with each. They had seen a minotaur and several goats walking along who Pinkie claimed were a bunch of mean jerks, a pegasus with bright orange hair shouting at a group of cringing pegasi, a sea serpent with an odd moustache, and even another party pony. Pinkie had called him Cheese, and Slender had wondered whether he too had the eldritch gift. He hadn’t reacted to their presence however, which had made Slender slightly relieved. One pony like Pinkie Pie was enough, thanks. It was wondrous, and marvelous. It also made the Slender Man jealous. He had felt it growing within him, a small seed of jealousy as he had watched Pinkie Pie talk and lead him around Equestria. This too wasn’t a normal experience for the Slender Man. He was used to envy over another eldritch’s accomplishments. When they had bragged of a kill streak twice as long as his, or managing to wipe out a particularly resilient reality. But that had merely been the jealousy of competition, and underneath the temporary annoyance of being upstaged, Slender had been more determined than ever to kill more than any other eldritch. But here was something that Slender could not have. Pinkie Pie chattered on, leading him through Equestria, but Slender watched her almost as much as the sights he saw. She was one of his kind, however faintly. But she didn’t kill, and she didn’t think like he did. More importantly, she wasn’t feared. She wasn’t shunned, and she was even liked. She knew so many creatures, and they all liked her. Slender had never commanded any being’s respect, much less their approval. All he had ever received was fear, and until now, that had been enough. But whenever the Slender Man looked at Pinkie Pie, smiling and bouncing along, something inside of him burned with a feeling he couldn’t describe. It was such a very odd scene. The Slender Man and Pinkie Pie floating through their together as they toured Equestria. Both were eldritch beings. But one was made of darkness and shadows, grays and blacks, and the other was the embodiment of happiness and laughter, filled with boundless energy and bright colors. It made Slender realize how different he was from Pinkie Pie, from ponies, from people in general. But the tour continued, and Slender was still interested in this place called Equestria. So the Slender Man followed the bright bouncing pony known as Pinkie Pie as she led him around Equestria in a world of shadows. And he wondered what it would be like to be her. ---- Twilight smiled. It was huge, horrible, smile. There are ponies that are good at smiling, like Pinkie Pie, and there are ponies that can make a simple smile look like a death rictus. Twilight was one of the latter types of ponies, at least when she was stressed. Which she was. “Alright, does everybody have their hat? And the cake?” Her friends were arrayed around her, each one wearing a festive party-hat that they had found in Pinkie Pie’s rooms, surrounding a small cake with a single candle. It had been placed on a table, with a sprinkling of confetti around it. “Okay,” Rainbow Dash said, “I’ve got my party hat on, and this stupid party horn. The cake is here and the candle. Everything is just like you want it, Twilight. Now, are you going to explain what the heck is going on?” Twilight ignored Rainbow Dash’s acid tone. “We are going to bring back Pinkie Pie and the Slender Man right now. I’ve hit upon a sure-fire method of attracting Pinkie Pie. I’m sure of it.” “With a cake?” Rarity prodded the block of bread covering with icing. “Twilight, I know you don’t care about the quality of the cake, but this isn’t much better than those muffins Applejack and Pinkie Pie made.” “Ah’d say they’re even worse. Ya do know that a cake isn’t a loaf ‘a bread with frosting, right Twilight?” “That doesn’t matter.” Twilight pointed impatiently at the cake. “All we need to do is light it. Fluttershy? The matches?” Reluctantly, Fluttershy struck a match and lit the ‘candle’, which was in fact, a stick. It smoked horribly, but eventually it lit. The stinking, eye-stinging smoke it gave off soon filled Sugarcube corner. “Good, good.” Twilight paced back and forth. “Phase one is complete. Rarity? Begin phase two.” Rarity exchanged a dubious glance with the other ponies, but dutifully held a piece of paper and read, “Oh, this is such a wonderful surprise party for Spike. To celebrate his, um…” “Baby dragon semi-adolescence coming-of-age,” hissed Twilight. “Yes, that.” Rainbow Dash said, reading slowly. “I was so surprised about the party, because, you know, it’s a surprise party.” “Nopony told me I was coming of age!” Spike complained. “I didn’t even get a present!” “Shush, Spike. Applejack?” “Ah’d really hate anyone else to miss this amazin’ party,” Applejack said in a monotone. “Whoopee. This party is gonna be great. Be a shame if anypony were to miss it.” Twilight took a deep breath. Time for the magic words. “It’s just too bad that Pinkie Pie is going to miss this super-duper awesome surprise party.” Twilight glanced up from her script, and waited expectantly. Nothing happened. Twilight stared fixedly at the cake, and then at the door, and then back at the cake again. Nothing. “Um, Twilight,” Applejack said, “Why are ya starin’ at the cake?” “Pinkie Pie should be here by now,” Twilight said, her eyes never leaving the cake. “She’d never miss a party, much less a surprise one.” It had to work. It had to work. “Wait, that’s your big plan?” Rainbow Dash asked incredulously. “Throw a party and wait for Pinkie Pie to show up?” “Maybe the cake needs to be properly baked,” Twilight muttered to herself. “Or perhaps there need to be more candles. Calculate: how many candles per square inch of cake required? Is a baby dragon’s adolescence party noteworthy enough? How many guests are needed to reach full party potential?” “Um, Twilight, I don’t think Pinkie Pie is coming.” Fluttershy said meekly. “I think she only arrives when there’s a real party, not, um, a fake one.” “But this is a real party!” Twilight turned on Fluttershy, a manic light suddenly in her eyes. “It’s very real, don’t you agree Fluttershy? This is the best party even to celebrate Spike’s very special coming-of-age!” “Um, Twilight, Spike is still a baby dragon. He won’t come of age for a few hundred years at least.” Twilight grabbed Fluttershy with both hooves and drew her face-to-face. “This. Is. A. Real. Party. Right, Fluttershy? And we’re going to have so much fun that Pinkie Pie and Slender Man will arrive. Because this is a party. And we’re going to have lots and lots of fun.” “Twilight, dear, I think you should have a lie down,” Rarity began uncertainly, but Twilight wasn’t listening. “Balloons!” She exclaimed, letting go of Fluttershy. “We forgot the balloons! Quick! Somepony get me a balloon, stat!” “Twilight, I don’t think that will help,” Dash began uncertainly, but Twilight had already grabbed the balloon Spike had handed to her and was blowing into it furiously. “I think Rarity’s right. You’re not looking too good.” Twilight tied a knot in the balloon and hung it from the ceiling. “There! Balloon set! Now, we’re going to start from the beginning! Places, everypony!” “Twilight, ah really think you should calm down,” Applejack laid a firm hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Tryin’ the same thing again and again won’t do anypony good, and you need a good long rest.” “Yes, darling, your eyes look positively bloodshot. How about taking a beauty nap for a few hours? You could certainly use it. Maybe two beauty naps?” “No time,” Twilight said, wrenching free of Applejack’s grasp. “The fate of Equestria depends on those two returning at once. I’m not going to be taking the blame for this one, oh no. Pinkie Pie’s coming back, and I’m staying in Ponyville. I’m not going to magic kindergarten, nosiree.” “I think she’s losing it, girls,” Spike said. “The best thing to do when she gets like this is put her to sleep.” “Or maybe knock her out. Anypony got a club?” “Oh no, I wonder who will come to this incredible party?” Twilight said loudly. “I’d sure hate for anypony to miss this amazingly fun party!” “Rainbow Dash, I find that incredible insensitive. Twilight’s just a bit overstressed at the moment. I believe a much less violent solution can be achieved. Does anypony have some sleeping pills?” “Ah think Granny Smith has some back at the farm. You want me ta grab a few?” “Fun party! Here!” Twilight screamed at the ceiling. “It’s a big surprise! No!? Yes!? Party! Let the party begin!” “Let’s just hold her down, and we can go from there, alright?” Rainbow Dash advanced from one side, Applejack and Fluttershy from the other. Twilight tried to retreat, but Rarity seized her tail, and Fluttershy grabbed one of her legs. Her friends were just wrestling her to the floor when the rumbling started. Spike paused in his unsuccessful attempts to hold Twilight’s left forelegs and looked up. “Anypony hear that?” Every pony paused as the rumbling increased, until the walls of Sugarcube Corner shook. The door to Sugarcube Corner burst open, and Pinkie Pie exploded into the room. “What!? There was a surprise party and nopony told me?” Pinkie Pie screamed. She took in the pile of ponies and one dragon on the floor. “Oh, hey Twilight! Why is everypony lying on the ground?” In the shocked silence, Twilight managed to get out of Rainbow Dash’s headlock. “Pinkie Pie! It worked!” “What worked? Is this a game? Ooh, maybe this is a ‘hold Twilight down and sit on her’ game! Let me play too!” Pinkie Pie flung herself onto Twilight, knocking the wind out of her. “Ponypile!” It took Applejack three tries before she got her mouth working again. “Pinkie Pie! What the hay are you doing here? Ah thought you were gallivantin’ around Equestria with the Slender Man?” Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes at Applejack. “I was showing Mr. Slender Man around Equestria, but then my Party Sense told me that there was a party going on in Ponyville, and obviously I had to come right back. Slendy’s back too, see?” Pinkie pointed to a corner of the room, and Applejack jumped as she saw that the Slender Man was indeed now present. “Ah see that,” she said, “but how come it ya took so long? Twilight was throwin’ her party and it took ya ages ta get back.” “Really? My Party Sense didn’t so much as wiggle! Are you sure you did everything right? You need cake, tons of confetti, party horns, and of course lots and lots of balloons for a proper party!” “Aha!” Twilight’s voice was rather muffled due to Pinkie Pie sitting on her head. “I knew it!” “Knew what?” Pinkie Pie bounced off of Twilight. “How did you know it? Was it written down or did somepony tell you? What was it about?” “Pinkie, where were you for the last three hours?” Rainbow Dash demanded. “You and the Slender Man vanished, but you promised not to leave Sugarcube Corner! You even Pinkie Promised!” Pinkie Pie grinned hugely. “Silly Dash! I never Pinkie Promised to leave Sugarcube Corner! I only promised Twilight that I ‘wouldn’t take one hoof step outside my room!’” “And?” “I didn’t! Mr. Slender Man and me flew across Equestria! It was really cool, he was in this other super-shadowy Slender dimension, and everything was made of shadows except they weren’t really shadows but things that looked like shadows, and there wasn’t any light but I could see anyways and then I decided go show Mr. Slender Man around Equestria since we could fly, and he said yes and then we—” “Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Yes Rainbow Dash?” “Just…stop talking for a second, would you? My brain feels like it’s going to explode already.” “And, um, maybe you should get off Twilight, Pinkie Pie,” Fluttershy said. “I don’t think she can breathe.” “Whoops! Sorry about that Twilight!” Pinkie Pie bounded off Twilight’s head and Twilight said up and gasped air into her lungs. “Why are we having a party anyways?” It took Twilight a few minutes to get her breath back. “We were having a ‘find Pinkie Pie and Slender Man’ party, Pinkie”, she said slowly and carefully. “And now we’ve found you. Thank you so very much for showing the Slender Man around Equestria. You didn’t…meet anypony else while you were sightseeing, did you?” “Oh, tons of ponies!” Twilight’s heart stopped for a second. “Were they…screaming at all?” She asked carefully. “Were there any dead bodies when you left? Mutilated corpses? Pools of blood?” “What? Don’t be silly, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie laughed. “Nopony could see us when we were in Slender Man’s dimension.” “Really?” Twilight brightened up a bit. “And you were in this dimension the entire time? Nopony saw you at all? You didn’t cause any disasters?” “Nope! We looked at all the cool places I know, and then we came back here when my Party Senses started tingling!” Twilight nearly collapsed again in relief. “Thank Luna. Okay, Pinkie. I’m glad nopony was hurt, maimed, or scared out of their mind. We’ll have a discussion about leading eldritch abominations around Equsetria later, alright? But now I think it’s time to call it a day, before somepony gets killed.” Pinkie Pie’s smile didn’t even waver. “Okay Twilight! But when are we going to eat the cake?” “Cake? What cake?” Twilight glanced at the bread covered with frosting. “Oh, the cake. Yes. Well, we don’t really need it anymore, Pinkie Pie.” “What? No cake? Why not? Everypony loves cake!” “The cake was just to attract you, Pinkie Pie,” Rarity put in. “Twilight held this party so you would come back. On that note, I wouldn’t eat the cake either. I’m sure that bread was past its expiry date.” “Oh, Twilight you threw a party just for me? That’s so totally amazing! We can have a pre-party before my party!” Twilight had been smiling in relief at a casualty-free afternoon. Now Twilight’s smile froze. And then it melted away. “What did you just say, Pinkie?” Pinkie Pie grinned. “My super-duper fabulous ‘Slender Party’, of course! I’ve been preparing for it all day!’” “I didn’t see any party preparations,” Twilight said accusingly. Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes. “Well, duh. I didn’t know if the Slender Man was coming my way, so of course I hid the decorations until the party stared. I’m glad you decided to have the pre-party here, because I put all my decorations in this room!” Pinkie Pie reached behind one of the window drapes in Sugarcube corner and pulled out a long cord. “But since everypony’s here, we can get started!” “Pinkie,” Twilight said urgently, but it was too late. Pinkie Pie pulled the cord. When Twilight had visited Shining Armor and Cadence on her all too infrequent trips to the Crystal Empire, she had once witnessed an avalanche crashing down on a group of tourists. It had been a tumbling wall of ice, snow, and death for anyone caught before it. Fortunately, Shining Armor had saved the hapless group of ponies with a barrier spell, and they had escaped unscathed, if a little shaken. This was an avalanche of confetti. It should not be possible to compress confetti into the places Pinkie Pie had hidden them around Sugarcube Corner. Streamers, bits of colored paper, ribbons, and more did not so much as burst but pour out of the ceiling, walls, and even out of the Cake’s kitchen sink. And it rushed over Twilight, carrying her under. It wasn’t actually that bad. Avalanches of confetti weren’t nearly as bad as avalanches of snow and ice. It wasn’t cold, and there were no jagged shards of ice to lacerate Twilight’s skin. The confetti wasn’t even heavy, so she wouldn’t be crushed to death. It was a shame then that she still couldn’t breathe.