//------------------------------// // The Kind of Firefly, Every Firefly, Every Firefly Should Know // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// “Have you seen the new mare?” “What new mare?” “The one traveling in Photo Finish's entourage.” “I can't say that I have.” “Come to think of it, she is Photo Finish's new entourage!” “Hmmm... come to think of it, that photographer has been a few bricks short of a load as of late. Is she finally reaching out once again?” “Oh, it's the talk of the town! Photo met a fancily dressed mare at a party in the Paint Bucket Flat, and now they're like best friends!” “Wow. Now that's not easy.” “Some gorgeous fashion-savvy pony with a manestyle to die for.” “You talk of her as if she's royalty...” “That's what they're saying! A Duchess! Or maybe even a Princess!” “What, you mean an alicorn? Here in Manehattan?!” “I'm not sure. You ever heard of an alicorn who goes by the name of—?” “Fraulein Firefly!” Photo shouted. “Gah!” Cringing, Rainbow twirled in her gown and faced the opposite end of the studio. Photo had a lineup of exotically dressed mares standing before a velvet curtain surrounded by floodlamps. A camera on a tripod faced them like a gun turret at a firing range. “Look! Schnell!” Photo pointed. “I need help vith ze magiks!” She pointed at one bored-looking mare after another, each of which was dressed in gowns depicting completely random floral patterns. “I, Photo Finish, am kallink zis ze 'Survivor of Ze Forest fire!' But—Liebe Güte! I am at ze krossroads! Vich tree should be photographed visout ze ash and embers?! I need your help, meine friend! Bah! Ze symbolism eludes me!” “Uhhhh...” Rainbow gulped, sweating beneath her third fashionable blouse of the day. It was difficult to see through the exotic manestyle that her prismatic bangs had been twisted in by one of Photo's many-many stylists. “These... are trees?” Rainbow's eyes darted from one lethargic eyeshadow'd gaze to another. The gowns looked more like interwoven leaves and strips of bark than actual dresses. “Look like ponies on the verge of a skin irritation to me.” “Nein! Look beyond ze physikal, fraulein! Zis session is lost visout ze inspiration of a royal hoof!” “Uhhhhh... uhhhh...” Rainbow Dash gulped. “I've... always b-been...” She squinted through one eye, wincing. “...fond of... apple trees?” Photo Finish gazed at Rainbow. Rainbow winced harder, watching her reflection in Photo's shades do the same. Photo stared and stared and—“Sehr gut!” She grinned ecstatically. “Ze apple! Ze forbidden fruit! Vhy did Photo Finish not sink of zat?!” She lifted the camera and slapped it down in front of a pony covered in dangling dry apple skins. “After a crucible of fire, ve are all left vith our inner sins exposed! You!” She pointed at the mare in front of the lense. “Stayen sie here! Ze rest of you!” She slapped a hoof across the studio ground. “You go!” Rainbow plopped back on her haunches, sighing in relief as the sounds of a camera shutter clicked constantly in front of her. As a pony passed by her, Lancie burst out of her bunned mane, leaning down to whisper in Rainbow's ear: “Try asking her what she was born!” “I'm friggin' working on it!” Rainbow hissed back. “Who, Madame Firefly? Of Awesometopia? Why, yes! Yes, I do know her.” “You d-do?! You have to tell me everything for the Daily Bridle, Trenderhoof! Nopony's gotten this close to the Equestria-famous Photo Finish since her infamous divorce! What's this mare's secret?” “This mare? Secrets? Pffft... please. I'm a writer; I can see through a pony's facade in a blink.” “Oh? Then who is Madame Firefly? Who is she really?” “I'll tell you right here and now! Madame Firefly is nothing but... the absolute most beautiful pony who's ever existed. Graceful in physique, yet rigid in determination and passion.” “Uh huh. Uh huh. Mind if I write this down?” “Pffft. Not at all. I already have three articles of myself written about the matter!” “Wow... what inspiration! Have you published yet?” “No ma'am.” “Why is that?” “Because I'm still reeling from the sheer enchantment of sharing the same room with her. Hrmmmmmmmm... yesssss... Yes, I do believe I am smitten. Not hard, considering her absolute radiance.” “And charm, I bet! I mean... to have won Photo Finish's approval.” “Look alive, my friend. And you can tell the Daily Bridle this! Photo Finish may be the most genius photographer living today, but her time has come and gone. If you want to know the true future of the Manehattan socialite scene—it's Firefly. Short and simple... and exquisite.” “Nnnngh... Celestia, I swear...” Rainbow grimaced, fighting with the ruffles of an enormous skirt. “How in the hay am I gonna go about taking a crap with this thing on?” “Vat vas zat, Fraulein?” “Er... n-nothing!” Rainbow Dash glanced up, smiling awkwardly. “Fire away!” FLASH! She instantly winced. Squatting across the sidewalk from her was Photo Finish, kneeling low with the camera. The green grass of Canter Park stretched widely on either side of the pair. A group of bodyguards and fashion stylists stood close by, waiting on Photo's beck and call. Not too far away, a thick group of gawking ponies and onlooking citizens craned their necks to get a better look at the photo shoot. A few bodyguards had to rope the place off, constantly keeping an eye on random joggers and passer-by's. “Ah! Wunderbar!” Photo squee'd while taking shot after shot. “And ze vay ze buildinks compliment ze blue shine of your coat!” She clicked and clicked and clicked away. “If ze sky vere to bloom flowers, it vould not produce a bud as nice as you!” “That's... pretty flattering, Photo.” Rainbow flapped her wings. “I don't suppose you could photograph me in the sky where it's cooler—” “Nein! Nein!” Photo barked, waving a hoof over her camera. “Stoppen sie vith ze feasers!” Rainbow bit her lip, instantly coiling her wings at her side. “M-my bad!” “Yes... yessssss...” Photo side-trotted to get a better angle. “I, Photo Finish, am kallink zis 'Jubilee of Ze Rainbow!'” Rainbow Dash gulped. “Hah! Hahah... wow, what a... fancy schmancy title you've chosen!” She adjusted her collar as her cheeks burned red. “And after ve finish in ze park, I shall take you to Thirteenth Street! Zere ve vill dine on lotus flowers until our shtomachs burst!” Another squee. “Ach! Ze konkerink fiece of an artist!” “Hey...Thirteenth Street! That's swell!” Rainbow said, smiling nervously. “And... wh-who'd a thunk it! Your apartment's on Twenty-Fourth street!” She gulped. “Thirteen.. Twenty-Four... those are some nifty numbers, don't you think?” “Ja. Ja.” Click click. “Sehr gut.” “Almost... m-makes you wonder if there's... uh... a significance!” Rainbow grinned, sweating. “Y'know... to the two places you like to hang out so much?” “Ja! Zere is!” Rainbow leaned forward in her dress. “And what is that?” “Zey are both in Manehattan! Ze city of opportunity!” Photo leaned back, adjusting her shades with a grin. “Ze same city zat brought Firefly... to Photo Finish!” And she resumed snapping away. Rainbow Dash groaned, eyes rolling. She glanced to the side, spotting a statue with antlers sticking its head out of a bush. Lancie waved wildly, then held up a four digit license plate. He pointed at it with a talon while grinning triumphantly. Rainbow's eyes bulged. She glanced at the barren rear of Photo's parked carriage, then turned to hiss at the bush. “You friggin' put that back!” “Huh?” Photo glanced over her camera. “Vat did you say?” Rainbow paled, looking like a Dash in headlights. “Uhhhh... uhmmm...” “Ah! A good call!” Photo frowned at her camera. “Zis is ze absolute vorst lens to be usink for zis shoot! Bah! Danke, Fraulein, I shall change it right away!” She turned and whistled to two of her stallion servants who came dashing over immediately with a camera bag. Rainbow sighed, slumping towards the grass. A locust hopped and landed on her muzzle, and she lazily blew it away with a dull breath. “Wow... she and Photo certainly are drawing a crowd. When was the last time the photographer got this much attention?” “Hey! Koopa!” “Erm... it's Coco—” “Whatever! For the last time—am I paying you to make small talk?!” “N-no, Suri!” “Then shut up and start taking notes!” “Yes, Suri!” “Hrmmm... hard to see from here, even with binoculars.” “M-maybe if you adjusted the viewing field—” “I said take notes!” “Yes, ma'am! Taking notes, Suri, ma'am!” “Hmmph. Stupid intern. Where was I? Ah yes... as far I can tell from here, the supposed 'Duchess' or 'Governess' or 'Whatever' from Awesometopia has absolutely no social grace. I mean—just look at her! She's gonna get grass stains all over that beautiful gown! I mean, it must have cost Photo Finish five grand! The imported silks don't come cheap! But—still—it begs the question. Just what does Photo see in this strange mare? Photo hasn't been her usual self since the divorce, and rumors abound about her health. Even from this distance I can see her stumbling to take her shots with the camera. Hmmmm... Perhaps this 'Firefly' is some sort of a con artist. Yes... that would make loads of sense! She must have studied up on Photo's career before dropping in on her at the Paint Bucket Flat! If she knew every way to push Ms. Finish's buttons just right, then no wonder the artist had no time to pay attention to the likes of me! Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of all this! And once I've uncovered the truth, and exposed Firefly for the fraud that she is, Photo Finish will have me in her complete trust, not to mention her undivided attention! Hah! Then we'll see who's scraping the bottom of the bit bag for some decent gourmet coffee in this crummy town! Hmmmm-heheheheh-yesssss. So, Cobra, you got all that down?” “'Stu... pid... in... tern...'” “What?! Grrrrrr—Dammit! Gimme that notepad! Hmmmph! I have to do everything myself around here! Now I... wait... what? Pffft... you mean I actually gotta write this stupid thing using my mouth?! Guh! What's this kingdom coming to?! I'm gonna sue somepony!”