“All right! I think that about covers everything!” Twilight announces, holding up the checklist that she's been working on for the past hour of travel. The once blank parchment is now filled from margin to margin with neatly organized characters and boxes that probably makes more sense to everypony here but me. Twilight then remembers that I can't read. “Shall I dictate your schedule to you?”
“Go ahead. It's not like I have a choice in the matter,” I say grumpily, resting my head on the back of the seat and staring up at the ceiling. An occasional bump will cause me to shift slightly, but other than that, I don't move at all.
Basically, I've been telling Twilight what I have on my agenda for when I return to Ponyville, while she's been attempting to draft me up a schedule. Honestly I'd planned to put one together myself, but every time I try to tell her this, she always looks at Rose, who then tells me that it would be the most efficient for Twilight to do it (albeit through considerably more flowery language. Heh. Flowery).
I mean, Rose is right, because I've seen how organized Twilight can be. My issue is that I'm currently pissed at Twilight, as I have been for days, ever since that time outside the bar. Yeah, we pranked her, but that doesn't mean I just forgot. So I don't want her fucking help. But, as I said already, Twilight and Rose haven't really given me a choice in the matter.
I still don't see why they're taking it so seriously. This country seems pretty peaceful. I've never even heard the word “war” more than a few times. So why the hell do I need to be battle ready? Just teach me how to keep from going insane, and I'll be fine.
Twilight looks distinctly uncomfortable with my listless and sulky words, but with an impatient look from Rose, she clears her throat and begins. “We should be home soon with plenty of time in the day, so I'll start with today's schedule.”
“Great...I don't even get to rest...” I groan.
“Don't worry, I took that into account. You don't have to do anything overly stressful tonight,” Twilight responds, looking at me with what I assume she thinks is a reassuring smile. Which it isn't. I still kinda want to punch her in the face. “First, upon our arrival, you'll come with me to my library for an introduction to magical theory.”
“Sounds like a fucking blast,” I comment sarcastically. As with my last two comments, I'm ignored after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. Magical theory. Really? This will probably be like science 1101 all over again, only with magic instead, where none of the rules I remember matter anymore. At least there won't be any tests that can ruin your life if you fail.
“Then, starting tomorrow, we'll have an alternating schedule, so we can fit everything you need to do over the period of two days,” Twilight explains, tapping the checklist with the back of her quill. “Tomorrow morning at eight, you'll be running with Rainbow Dash for an hour.”
“Aw yeah! We're gonna have a blast!” Rainbow interjects excitedly, nudging me. Hooray, I get to exhaust myself like crazy every morning. At least it'll be with Rainbow, I suppose. Ugh.
“Next, you'll head to the schoolhouse and help miss Cheerilee with the students,” Twilight continues, her quill moving down the page with every event she announces. You know, even though I made that arrangement with Cheerilee on my own, the fact that Twilight is telling me to do it makes it seem like less of a good idea. But I still have to do it. As much as I want to spite her, I do need to learn to read. “Since you'll already be there, you can study with her after school ends.”
“After that, Rose will meet you on the outskirts of town, between Sweet Apple Acres and the Everfree Forest,” Twilight continues. That part interests me somewhat.
“What? Why so far away from town?” I ask curiously, sitting up again. This time, it's Rose that answers.
“Due to the fact that your abilities are as of yet, wholly untested and unrefined, it would be best to perform training in an area away from civilization. That way, there is no risk of damage to the town or its residents,” Rose informs me, speaking in overly flowery language once again. That mannerism of hers is starting to get on my nerves. She speaks like a damn English professor.
“You're gonna teach him how to fly, right?” Rainbow interrupts, staring at Rose with an eager expression. Oh right, she wants to fly with me at some point.
“If it is within his capabilities, then I shall. I endeavor to unlock every aspect of his potential,” Rose confirms, looking at me with interest. “Seth, do you believe you possess the capabilities of flight?”
“Hell if I know. I remember being in the air with Celestia at one point, but I can't remember how I did it,” I admit. I left out the fact that I fought her, since the only pony I've told that story is Rainbow, and I plan to keep it that way.
“That's very interesting. Perhaps it's an ability unique to humans?” Twilight hypothesizes. “After all, normal unicorns cannot use their magic to levitate themselves, since attempting to do so would create a magical amplification loop that would in turn...”
“Unicorns can't fly. I get the fucking point. Shut up,” I cut across her, not really in the mood for a lecture. Twilight shuts her mouth with a snap, and then she sighs through her nose, irritated.
“But Seth, you're going to need to know about magical amplification loops! They're extremely dangerous part of magic use that can severely harm you!” she complains with a huff. Oh. Well shit.
“Whatever. They're not exactly important right now, are they?” I point out, even though she has a point. Whatever those loop things are, I'll learn about them later, especially if they pose a danger to me.
“Perhaps not,” Twilight admits, though she still looks dissatisfied. She brings the checklist back up again. “Shall we move on then? After your training with Rose, you'll have several hours to yourself.”
“Holy shit, really?” I ask, genuinely surprised. “I get time to myself?”
“Of course! Not everyone can work all day without any time to rest,” Twilight reassures me, her smile returning.
We suddenly hear the sound of Spike clearing his throat from across the train. Once we're all looking at him, he asks, “Um, Twilight? Can I get that in writing?”
I can't help but chuckle a bit at Twilight's face at that comment. “What are you talking about?” Twilight demands. “I always give you plenty of time to rest between chores.”
Spike facepalms. “I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about you. Remember that time you stayed up all night because of a test you aced without even trying?” he clarifies, a grin on his face.
“But...that was...it...” Twilight stammers, but then she dips her head with a blush when she realizes that Spike is right. Following that is a chorus of snickers and giggles from me and the rest of her friends. “It was a very important test...”
“Even though you could have just not taken it and still gotten the top score in the class?” Spike presses, looking even more smug. Twilight dips her head down further.
“He's got you, Twilight. But seriously, I get the nights to myself?”” I let her know with a grin. Twilight nods, much to my delight. “Halle-fucking-lujah. For once, I get some me time.”
“The next day, you'll work on the farm with Applejack, starting at eight again. Afterward you'll come to my library for more studying. Then the rest of the evening is yours. How does all of this sound?” Twilight finally finishes, setting the checklist down.
“Work only every other day? How the hell am I going to pay for rent? The bits I have won't last forever, you know,” I point out. Vinyl sighs next to me.
“Aw, we're still on the whole rent thing? I was hoping you'd trust me enough to not do that anymore after this trip,” Vinyl complains. I look at her strangely.
“Why the hell would you think that?” I snap, causing her to wince. “I'm only living with you because you're taking my money in exchange. If you don't want to, that's fine. I'll just go sleep outside again.”
“That's not happening,” Rainbow is the one who responds, for some reason. She looks at me with a stern and determined expression. “You're not sleeping outside. You'll freeze to death, especially with the the storm I have to whip in a few days.”
“Then we have to find a way for me to make enough money to keep paying for rent,” I say flatly. There's a silence after that as the ponies around me attempt to find a solution.
“You can always live with me for free, since we're awesome pals and all,” Rainbow suggests, half jokingly. I turn my head very slowly to look at her.
“You live on a cloud.” I deadpan. Rainbow chuckles nervously and scuffs the floor a bit. “In the sky. How dumb would I look having to get carried up by you, only to fall to my death because I can't fucking walk on clouds!?”
“How about if I lower the rent to maybe four bits?” Vinyl suggests after she finishes laughing at Rainbow's expense. When I look back at her, she continues. “I mean, I don't really need your money. I make plenty enough to live on from gigs and commissions.
“Ah could always pay ya more,” Applejack tacks on as well. Of course, none of those suggestions interests me at all.
“No, no, and no. I won't accept a suddenly decreased rent, and I certainly won't accept more pay for the same amount of work,” I counter, further frustrating the ponies taking part in the argument.
“Um...” a quiet voice suddenly enters the conversation. We almost don't notice it at first, since Vinyl and Applejack start trying to convince me further, but once a timid yellow hoof presses against my leg, we stop. I look down to see Fluttershy of all ponies gazing at me from behind her mane. “I have a suggestion...if you want to hear it, I mean.”
“Oh boy, you're going to talk for once? This should be good,” I state. I mean, this pony has never had anything useful to say before, so I doubt that's suddenly going to change. Fluttershy gulps at my words, shrinking back slightly.
“Oh...I mean, it's probably not a good idea anyway,” Fluttershy retracts, much to my annoyance.
“Nah, Fluttershy, go ahead. It ain't like we're makin' any headway here anyway,” Applejack reassures her. Vinyl nods in agreement.
“Okay,” Fluttershy emits weakly. She takes a moment to compose herself before continuing. “I just thought that when you're on your way to training with miss Rose, you could pick up a few things for me. If you want to, that is.”
“What, like run errands and shit? Can you even afford to pay me for that?” I question her with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, I work with animals...I make some money through that,” Fluttershy murmurs. That didn't tell me anything. How does she make money with that?
“Now darling, you really must be more descriptive than that,” Rarity rejoins. “Seth likes to know all of the details before committing to something, if I'm not mistaken.”
“That's right,” I agree. At least Rarity knows what I'm looking for.
“I'm sorry,” Fluttershy apologizes. Oh great, she's one of those. I get really sick of people that overly apologize.
“It's no trouble. I'll explain,” Rarity assures her, turning back to me. “Fluttershy is incredibly talented when it comes to dealing with animals, whether she's communicating with them, or taking care of them. Everypony in Ponyville knows that, so Fluttershy makes a living by helping others take care of their pets.”
“What, like selling food and vaccinating them and shit?” I press. Fluttershy doesn't really seem like she does anything, but I suppose she has a house for a reason.
“Yes,” Fluttershy answers timidly. “But sometimes, I need supplies from the town. I can pay you to bring them to me.”
“So more heavy lifting?” I deadpan, not amused. It's a solution, sure, but I can already tell I'm not going to like it. With all the physical stuff I'm being told to do, I'll be damned if I don't have a six pack by the end of the month. It's going to suck...but the idea of having a six pack rather appeals to me.
“Oh, you don't have to if you'd rather not,” Fluttershy retracts, looking down at the floor. I sigh in irritation. Stop being so fucking insecure and say what you mean.
“I don't care what you have me do. Just how much are you going to pay me?” That's the most important question.
“Um...how does five bits a trip sound?” Fluttershy supplies. Hm...so five bits one day, ten bits the next. Then rinse and repeat. So I'll go down by one bit the first day, and go up by four the next. That's three bits net gain per two days. It's not as fast as I was earning money before, but I do have a lot of bits right now. Who knows? Maybe I'll earn enough money to buy a house by the end of this.
“That's a three bit gain per day, give or take Vinyl's gigs,” I say, voicing my calculations aloud. All of the ponies sitting near me are looking at me expectantly. “That'll work. I'm okay with this schedule.”
“Excellent! Then I'll work your errands with Fluttershy into the schedule, right after your lessons with Cheerilee.” Twilight rejoins the conversation, scribbling down the new information on the checklist. “I think that takes care of everything!”
“Great, now all that's left for us to do is wait,” I say with a grunt, letting my posture slump onto the back of the seat again. “I'm going to take a nap. Wake me before I get back, and I'll murder you.”
Once I hear acknowledgment from the rest of them, I lean my head back and close my eyes.
I wake up when the train starts to slow down. The first thing I do is look out the window, where I can see the buildings of Ponyville. At last I'm back in this town, where the populace are slightly less irritating than Canterlot. But only slightly. But...I guess it is technically home for me now. Not like I can ever go back.
Around me are the other ponies. Twilight is reading a book (no surprise there), and so is Rainbow. Must be that new book she was given. Vinyl is also reading her new book. Applejack is looking at me with a warm smile, which is fucking weird, especially since she's more specifically looking at my lap.
That realization makes me aware of a weight on my lap that was not there before. I look down, and I almost have a heart attack. And not from shock. Apple Bloom is curled up on my lap, sleeping peacefully. I think I've said this before...but this filly needs to be weaponized. “What the hell are you doing there?” I whisper, rubbing my forehead.
“She hopped up on ya not longer after ya fell asleep,” Applejack reveals obligingly, as she'd heard me.
“Goddammit, Apple Bloom,” I murmur, but I'm not all that annoyed.
After the train comes to a full stop, all of us go our separate ways. Applejack returns to her farm, after I drape the still sleeping Apple Bloom over her back. Fluttershy gives me a list of the things she needs delivered to her over the next week before she left for her home. Before Vinyl leaves, I pass all of the gifts I got to her, so she can take it back to her place for me. That way I can go straight to Twilight's without lugging a bunch of shit around. I'm still taking my rifle though.
“I'm headed off too. I'll catch you later, sometime when Twilight's not spouting words at you,” Rainbow informs me with a wave of her hoof, and then she too zooms away, leaving an indignant Twilight behind.
“I do not spout words,” she pouts while Rarity and Sweetie Belle also take their leave. Scootaloo leaves as well, which just leaves Twilight, Rose, Spike, and I. Now that it's just us, Twilight gazes at me expectantly. “Shall we go to the library?”
“Yes please! I'm hungry,” Spike answers before I can, patting his rumbling stomach with a claw. Twilight giggles at that.
“Whatever, let's hurry and get going. I'm rather looking forward to having tonight for myself,” I interrupt, placing my hands in my pockets.
Rose looks between the three of us. “In that case, I will take my leave of you. I have much to do before our training tomorrow,” she declares, her horn starting to glow pink. Without another word, she vanishes in a burst of pink light, leaving a smattering of cherry blossoms behind.
“Wow, that was trippy. The hell did she just do?” I comment, grasping one of the petals left behind by the magic. Twilight seems almost too happy to answer.
“Magical teleportation! It's an ability inherent to all unicorns or alicorns, though the cherry blossoms is her own personal touch,” Twilight explains, demonstrating by teleporting a few feet away. “I'd love to tell you all about it. But first, let's go to my library.”
“Teleporting unicorns. Sheesh. All right, whatever. Let's get moving,” I respond with a shake of my head.
I walk through the door to Twilight's library in a sullen silence. Twilight seems to have picked up on it as well, as she is wearing an uncomfortable expression. The silence between us is awkward, because none of us are willing to broach the subject that we both know is the issue.
“Spike, could you make us some tea, please?” Twilight requests of her assistant.
“You got it,” the dragon replies, leaving Twilight and I alone in the front room. After yet another silence, she clears her throat and pulls down a scroll from the ceiling, like those things that you use for projectors. Except there's nothing on it. It's just blank. Next she brings a bottle of ink and a can of quills over to the table next to her, which tells me she plans to use it as a makeshift whiteboard or something.
Still in silence, Twilight fishes out a large book from one of the shelves and opens it. She lifts up her quill and is about to write something, but then she sighs and puts everything down. “I can't do this," she confesses. I raise an eyebrow. “Seth, we need to talk.”
“No, we don't. Just do your job, and then we can both leave,” I retort. I really don't want to get into another friendship discussion with her, since that's what this is probably going to turn into.
“I...I don't like carrying on like this. We used to be so much closer than we are right now, and now you won't even talk to me unless you're forced to,” Twilight laments, looking at me with a pained expression.
“Are we really doing this?” I sigh, scratching my head in irritation. “All right. You want to know why I don't talk to you? It's because you're a total bitch.”
“W...what? But...all I've tried to do is be your friend!” Twilight protests, stepping closer to me. “Why would you call me...that?”
“Do I have to spell it out for you? Fine. Fine, if this is the way you want it, I'll tell you exactly why I hate your fucking guts.” Twilight winces at my word choice, but she waits silently for me to continue. “First off, you're a total control freak. Oh, but you have to be in charge of my schedule, don't you? Because I'm completely and totally incapable of managing my own time, apparently.”
“But...” Twilight begins, but I'm not even close to being finished.
“Second off, you seem to be completely incapable of understanding when somebody is different from you. Not everyone views learning as the greatest thing in life, something which you assumed about me when you sent me that useless book.” As I continue, I notice with a pang of guilt that Twilight is starting to tear up. “Oh, and don't even get me started about you and your magic. Someone's doing something you don't like? Oh I'll just use magic to yank them out from whatever they're doing and hold them completely still. I don't know about you, but I don't like being entirely at the mercy of somepony else.”
“But you shouldn't worry about any of this, because I'm just a worthless human that's wallowing in self-pity! What does it matter what I say!?” the last bits of my tirade are spoken in a yell. Twilight's ears fold back, and she covers her eyes with a hoof, sobbing quietly.
Spike walks back into the room in the middle of the strained silence that ensues after the end of my rant, carrying a plate of tea. He immediately picks up on the atmosphere. After placing the tea on the table between Twilight and I, he makes for the stairs. “There's your tea. I'll just...be upstairs if you need me,” Spike stammers, disappearing into the upstairs bedroom.
“I'm so sorry,” Twilight sobs after Spike is gone. She looks like shit, which means she must have taken my words to heart. I feel a little bad for making her this sad, but on the other hand, she deserves it for saying the things she did.
I don't say anything in response, instead crossing my arms and waiting for her to get the fuck over herself.
Eventually, Twilight stops crying, sniffling and rising to her hooves again. She takes a few deep breaths before addressing me again. “I know...I know I'm not perfect, but every since I came to Ponyville, I've been trying to get better, and make friends,” she whispers, raising her eyes to meet mine. Damn, she looks pitiful. “But I've never messed up so bad as I have with you. Princess Celestia would be ashamed of me.”
“I tried so hard, but everything I said seemed to make it worse. I was just so frustrated...I've never seen somebody so opposed to making friends in my life,” Twilight continued as I watched her in silence. “And then Rainbow befriended you so easily...I'm starting to doubt that I'm capable of the task the princess gave me.”
“Stop,” I say with a sigh. She's going the total wrong direction than what I was hoping to see. “You have friends, and they like you. It's not fair for anypony to take their failures with me as a basis on which to judge their own capabilities. You think Rainbow had it easy? Don't make me laugh. I hated her so much when I first met her.”
“Really?” Twilight asks with wide eyes. “You two always seem so close.”
“Yes, really. I hated her a lot. I'd have kept on hating her too, if she hadn't stopped me from...well, let's just say she saved my life. She proved herself different from the others that I've known in my life. She hated me too, and yet she did it anyway,” I explain. Twilight listens attentively to my every word, like she's trying to learn from this too. “She didn't try to force it, either. There were no friendship speeches, or bullshit declarations. She let her actions speak for her, and that's why she's my friend.”
“Okay...I think I understand,” Twilight responds after mulling my words over in her head for a few seconds. “But...how do I make it up to you for all the things I've done to you?”
“Why do you care? I'm a total ass, so what does it matter to you if I hate you or not?” I demand, unsure of her motives.
“Because I said something horrible to you, and I feel terrible about it!” Twilight pleads , getting even closer to me, to the point where her muzzle is like, right in my face. “Please let me make it up to you somehow!”
“You don't have to do anything. Just get on with the teaching or whatever,” I tell her, since I know anybody, when given the chance, will back out of an obligation if they feel that they can. Like when somebody borrows money from you, they'll never give it back to you if you don't say anything about it. In other words, people don't have any fucking integrity.
To my surprise, Twilight shakes her head. “No, I have to do something. I won't feel better until things are normal between us again. Please tell me something I can do.” Well then. She's not giving up or backing out. How the hell do I deal with this? “I would even apologize publicly to you if that would help.”
“That won't be necessary,” I assure her. The last thing I want is that kind of publicity, especially for a personal issue. Then I'll have ponies all nosing into my business, and that would piss me off. Still, it's ridiculous that she's willing to go that far to mend our relationship. Even though we weren't friends beforehand, and it'll take a miracle for me to even consider her as a friend now. Still, I doubt she'll get off my case unless I tell her something.
Now what do I even tell her? It's not like there's anything she can do that I'll accept. I grab the teacup in front of me for the first time and take a sip from it, relishing that fruity taste that I haven't experienced in a while. As I'm drinking, I suddenly have an idea.
“For starters, you can quit holding me to your ridiculous standards. I just can't be all happy go lucky like all you ponies seem to be,” I begin, setting the cup back down. “Secondly, if you really want to be my friend that badly, stop trying to force it.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight asks curiously.
“Like Pinkie tried to do. 'Oh, I'm your best friend now. Deal with it.' Pissed me the fuck off,” I attempt to explain. Judging by Twilight's raised eyebrows, she doesn't really understand. “Basically, quit acting like I'm obligated to share my inner secrets and stuff just because we've spoken a few times.”
“Oh...I have done that a few times, haven't I?” Twilight admits sheepishly, causing me to chuckle.
“And lastly, I want you to promise never to write anything about me or my race without my explicit permission,” I finish. Twilight looks a bit put out by that one, and for a second, I think she's about to protest.
“Okay. I promise,” she says instead. Huh. I didn't expect her to actually do that part. This pony doesn't make any kind of sense to me.
“Then we're cool. I won't forget what you said to me that night, but that's not important in the grand scheme of things. It's just another mean thing said to me in the course of my life,” I say with a shrug. That just makes Twilight look sad. “Anyway, now that this conversation is over with, can we start learning about magic now?”
And now Twilight is smiling brightly. She reaches forward with her two front hooves and...oh no, is she about to...hug me. Yup. Her two front hooves wrap around my chest in a warm hug, while I just stand there awkwardly. Literally the only pony I've ever been even halfway affectionate with is Derpy and Apple Bloom. And the former only because of how she is.
“Yeah...I'm not a huggy kind of guy,” I admit, which causes her to giggle and release me. At least she's smiling now.
“So I've seen. But I find them comforting. You should give it a try,” Twilight suggests. I raise an eyebrow at her.
“I'll make sure to do that. Maybe sometime around never,” I joke. Twilight shoves me playfully with a sigh, and then she finally moves over to the board again, lifting up the book and quill.
“All right! Then I guess we'll start with basic magical theory. If you're going to be using magical regularly, I want you to be able to understand how it works at the base level,” Twilight begins, and she scribbles something down on the scroll. “First, I'll explain the difference between magic and mana...”
“Cut,” I interrupt her. Twilight huffs and puts down the quill, annoyed that she's already been interrupted. “I can't read. So writing notes on the board is totally useless.”
“Oh...I forgot about that,” Twilight admits, looking sheepish. She regards the whole scroll thing she's got set up. “That makes all of this rather pointless, doesn't it?”
“Unless you can draw pictures,” I point out in a joking manner. However, Twilight appears to take me seriously, because her eyes light up, and she starts sketching something on the scroll.
“Excellent idea!” Twilight exclaims.
I immediately facepalm. Oh boy. I guess I'm going to be in this room for a while.
“So you absolutely cannot attempt to use more magic than you possess in your reservoir, or it will severely damage your magical core,” Twilight finishes, drawing an X through the picture she drew of a unicorn's horn.
Despite all my trepidation, this lesson has been somewhat interesting. It's pretty basic stuff, but that doesn't matter. Before this, I had considered magic to be some ridiculous bullshit thing that breaks physics. It kinda does, but not entirely. Magic has its own set of particles called mana that function almost entirely on quantum physics. I'm no physics major, so I can't say I truly know all about it. Thankfully, all Twilight did was give me a basic run through.
Also, something that I need to be careful about is not using too much magic. If I run out of magic in my reservoir and I try to keep using it, it will drain my life instead. I wonder if that's what happened when I was fighting the Scorpios? Or maybe I'm an idiot. Fuck it, I'm no magical expert.
I'll file that away in my brain. Don't want to end up killing myself. Not when I have friends that would probably care if I accidentally got myself killed. Like Rainbow. I feel like she'd hold my ghost here out of rage. If that's even a thing. Whatever.
“I think that will be good enough for tonight,” Twilight decides, setting down the quill. The scroll she'd been using is now covered in little diagrams and charts. I do appreciate that's she's tailored her teaching style to me. And it's somewhat important, so I never fall asleep like I did the last time she lectured me. “How are you doing? Do you understand all of this?”
“More or less. Likely I'll have to sleep on it before it actually sinks in,” I inform her, recalling my study habits from college. That's essentially what this is, after all. Only with fucking pony professors.
“That's fine. I'd assign you some homework and books to study, but as you said, you can't read,” Twilight replies with a knowing smile. “So that's your homework. Learn to read!”
“Yes, ma'am,” I retort sarcastically, earning a giggle from Twilight. Homework and books to study. Fucking wonderful.
“You're a very good listener. I was honestly expecting you to fall asleep at some point,” Twilight continues.
“It's because of the pretty little pictures you drew for me,” I return with a dumb grin. Twilight looks at me oddly, as if trying to determine whether or not I'm being serious. “No, seriously, I've had to deal with teachers far worse than you in my own education.”
“Oh?” Twilight gets that curious look in her eyes that I've seen many times before. “What kind of education system did you go through? How did they set up their curriculum? What kind of subjects did they...”
“No,” I cut across her before she can ask any more questions. Twilight huffs again and looks at me with a flat browed expression.
“Oh come on, please? I promised not to write about it!” Twilight insists, giving me friggin puppy dog eyes. Really? That only really works with Apple Bloom, and only because she's adorable as fuck.
“Still no. I don't like talking about my race,” I repeat. Twilight's face falls, and she sighs in disappointment.
“Okay. Maybe another time then,” Twilight says sadly. “Would you like to stay for dinner? I could have Spike cook us up something good.”
“Like what?” I ask curiously. I mean, I've eaten with Twilight before, and I can always pay her for the meal. Besides, it would just be her. No way I'm ever eating with Applejack and her entire family. I only like eating alone or with one or two others. Suddenly I think of something funny. Before Twilight can answer, I follow up with, “Like a cherry pie?”
Twilight's face is the best fucking thing ever, getting me laughing. “Really? You're going to bring that up now?” she complains, rubbing her face in memory of how hard she had to scrub to get all the filling off.
“I need a cool drink of water, because that was such a sweet surprise!” I reply, laughing even harder at my dumb reference that she clearly doesn't get, if her confused face is anything to go by. “Don't ask, I'm being stupid.”
“Okay...anyway, I can have Spike cook us some...” Twilight tries again, but I cut her off again..
“No, we should totally make a cherry pie.” My interruption causes Twilight to shut her mouth and growl slightly.
“You're always interrupting me,” she complains. When I stare at her, she raises an eyebrow. “Seriously? You really want a cherry pie?”
“Damn right I do. I haven't had any freakin pie since getting here. I'm craving it now,” I say, leaning back in my chair. Twilight sighs and facehoofs.
“I don't have all the materials for a pie. So if you want to do this, you'll have to come with me into town and do some shopping,” she admits. I shrug. No big deal. I have no plans after this, and now that the idea is on the table, I really want some fucking pie.
“And we'll split the cost for the ingredients,” I add. Twilight looks at me surprised, and then a happy smile crosses her face. “Quit grinning at me like a fool and let's go. I'm hungry!”
“All right! Let's go then, Seth! We have a pie to prepare for!” Twilight exclaims happily. Huh, suddenly she's a lot more enthusiastic than before. Wonder what brought that on. “Spike! We're heading out!”
Spike pokes his head out from the upstairs bedroom upon hearing his name. “Wait, is it safe to come dow...oh come on, where are you going?” he calls after us, just as we shut the door behind us.
We actually have to stop by several places to get everything we need, including Sugarcube Corner for the materials needed to bake the pie shell and the filling, like flour, sugar, butter, cherries, and other such things. We run into Pinkie there, who is all too happy to help us out. Maybe a little too happy, but that can be said about everything she does.
The price isn't that bad for everything. Once we split it, it's even less. I still have plenty of bits to spare. Since I've accepted I'm not going to have a house for a while, I've started caring less about my money. As long as I'm not in the red, I mean.
Twilight and I step back into the library, carrying the groceries from our trip. I'm eager to get in that kitchen, a fact that is emphasized by the growling of my stomach.
“Wait, do I spy groceries?” Spike exclaims, bounding down the stairs, licking his lips in anticipation.
“Damn right! We're gonna make some kickass pie!” I announce, following Twilight into the kitchen.
“Yes, and we'll need your help, Spike,” Twilight adds. Spike's eyes go wide, and he sprints into the kitchen after us.
“Aww yeah, pie!” Spike responds, now as hyped up as I am for this. Twilight removes the recipe from a bag and pins it to a cupboard.
“Now, we're going to follow this recipe by the letter, so we can make the best pie that we...” she begins, talking all official, which lasts until a cherry hits her right on the tip of her nose. “What the...what are you two doing?”
Spike high fives me, as he had been the one to pass me the cherry. “Your face right now,” I tell her, chuckling. Twilight's response is to facehoof.
With that, the three of us launch into our pie making extravaganza, which had totally been my dumb idea. I don't care.
Pie.