//------------------------------// // Bludgeons and Dragons (Dragon Quest) // Story: Scootaloo Dies a Bunch // by alexmagnet //------------------------------// Scootaloo hefted her broadsword, resting it on her shoulder, which was protected by thick leather armor, not that she would have needed it since Scootaloo was so tough anyway. The helmet that rested on her head, too large for her foal-sized skull, slipped down over her eyes when she turned to look at Sweetie Belle. Lifting the horned helmet back up, she said, “Hey, where’s Apple Bloom? Wasn’t she supposed to be here already?” "That's what I thought, but—" "Hey, ya'll! I'm here!" yelled Apple Bloom as she hurried towards the other two fillies, dragging her long cloak behind her. When she reached their side, she doubled over, wheezing. "Whoo... sorry I'm late, girls. Took me awhile to sew this thing," she said, holding up the hem of her cloak. “Well, whatever, at least you’re here now,” said Scootaloo with a sigh. “Now we can finally get going. This quest ain’t gonna complete itself, y’know.” Apple Bloom held up her hoof. “Actually, I was wonderin’ about that. What’re we doin’ on this quest again?” Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes, throwing her robes over her shoulder. Lifting her staff, she pointed to a far off mountain that loomed in the distance. “We’re gonna go kill that dragon that lives up there. Weren’t you even listening yesterday?” Chuckling, Apple Bloom adjusted the brooch on her cloak. “I was actually asleep while we were talking about it. But slayin’ dragons, huh? Sounds like a hoot to me.” “It’s not a ‘hoot’,” said Scootaloo, her voice and demeanor suddenly very serious. “We’re going to murder the heck out of a big dangerous dragon dude, not take a hike down the river for a picnic with some fruity little wood nymphs.” She stomped her hoof. “This dude isn’t messin’ around.” Apple Bloom held up her hoof. “Sorry, didn’t mean to imply nothin’. Just… I ain’t never been on a real dragon quest before. Applejack always said it was too dangerous for me to go with her when she used to slay dragons.” “Wait, what?” said Scootaloo, cocking her head to the side. “What?” said Apple Bloom. “You just said something about Applejack slaying dragons,” said Sweetie Belle, taking Scootaloo’s side and cocking her head as well. “Oh, that,” replied Apple Bloom, waving her hoof dismissively. “Yeah, AJ used to hunt ‘em for money when the farm was slow, but she doesn’t really do it anymore. We don’t really talk about it much. Kinda boring really.” Scootaloo nodded her head slowly. “Riiiiiiight. Um, well anyway, I guess we should probably head out, huh?” The other two fillies nodded in agreement, and Scootaloo held out her broadsword, pointing towards the mountain. Of course, it was way too heavy for her and she dropped it almost immediately. While she struggled to pick it back up, she said, “Okay, you girls get behind me and we’ll walk in a single-file line. I’m the warrior, so I go first. AB, you stay behind me since you’re our monk, and Sweets you can be last since you’re our druid.” “Why do we have to walk in a single-file line?” asked Sweetie Belle, frowning. “And why do you get to be the leader?” As Scootaloo finally tugged her sword free from the ground, she said, “Haven’t you ever been on a dragon quest before? That’s how everyone on these kinds of quests walks.” “Fine, whatever,” said Sweetie sighing. “I don’t even care. It’s not going to take that long to get there anyway, right? I mean, how far away is that mountain really?” Apple Bloom squinted, placing a hoof over her brow. Biting her lip, she stared for a few seconds before saying, “Uh, it’s kinda been awhile since AJ had me do this for her, but if my skills ain’t too rusty that mountain is about a five-day hike from here, not to mention the full day it’ll take to climb it.” “What!?” shouted Sweetie Belle, her mouth dropping. “I don’t have time to take a week and a half to go kill some stupid dragon! Forget this!” Ripping off her robes, Sweetie tossed them and her staff to the ground where the cheap wood snapped in half. “I’m going back home.” “Aww, come on,” said Scootaloo holding out her hoof, “don’t be like that, Sweets! We got dragons to slay.” “What about one ‘a them guys?” said Apple Bloom, nodding towards the sky. All three fillies looked up to see hundreds of dragons of all different sizes and colors passing over them, their scaly bodies blotting out the sun. Apple Bloom nodded knowingly. “Yep, it’s about that time, I guess. Kinda forgot about it, but this is around the time all the dragons start migrating south for the winter.” Scootaloo laughed. “What are they, ducks? Buncha babies can’t take the co—” She was stopped midsentence as a dragon swooped down, claws outstretched, and scooped her up in a blur of color. Sweetie and Apple Bloom watched as the dragon carried her away, taking her back up to the rest of his group. Clicking her tongue, Apple Bloom shimmied out of her robes and said, “Okay, I’m done too. Can’t do much without a warrior anyway. Wanna go hang out at the clubhouse?” Sweetie Belle shrugged. “Meh, I’m not doing anything else.”