Earth ponies love weddings. Perhaps it is a cultural thing, where weddings meant that two ponies had become one and soon there would be little foals running around. There might have also been an aspect of growth and new beginnings. Both of these concepts were culturally important to the historically farming class of earth ponies. Whatever the reason, if a pony had many earth pony friends, they could expect no end of gifts and congratulations.
So it was no surprise that when Macintosh and Fluttershy went to the market, all the earth ponies were stumbling over themselves to offer congratulations—and discounts and gifts. Currently, they were in front of a flower stand, and the three flower ponies were jockeying for position and offering their wares when a new voice made the newlyweds freeze.
“Good morning, Warbringer. Macintosh.”
“Skyblaze,” Mac rumbled, not deigning to look at him.
Skyblaze began to walk around the two, circling like they were prey. “I don't think I ever extended my congratulations on your marriage.”
“Thanks,” Mac said tightly.
Skyblaze's eyes narrowed as he continued circling. “Oh, yes, I was also meaning to ask you… how did you like your sloppy seconds?”
Mac frowned.
A cold smile crossed Skyblaze's face. “Yep. That's right. That first night was mine. I was the one who had Warbringer first. Not you.”
Macintosh looked over at his wife. Fluttershy blushed brighter red than the roses on the table. She squeaked something that was probably meant to be an apology, and she shamefully sank down and hid herself behind her wings.
Mac's eye twitched ever so slightly, and the flower ponies instinctively took the tiniest step back. It is a well-known earth pony proverb to beware the wrath of a patient pony, and none were more patient than Big Macintosh.
And then Mac closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and smiled. “Well, now that you mention it, yeah. Ah did notice that the first two inches felt a bit looser; but since the next ten felt brand new, Ah didn't think nothin' of it.”
The flower ponies burst out laughing. Mac had managed to insult Skyblaze and compliment himself in one single sentence.
Skyblaze angrily opened his mouth to retort. “It's more than two inches, you groundpounding twit! And there's no way you're-”
Mac took a step back. “Well, Ah don't wanna see yours, and Ah ain't showin' you mine. What's wrong with you?”
Roseluck was now laughing so hard she had to support herself on Lily, who was laughing so hard she had to lean on the table. Daisy, with nopony to lean on, had fallen to the ground and was rolling around in peals of laughter.
Skyblaze flushed red and opened his mouth again, only to find that he had nothing else to say.
Mac patted him on the head like a dog. “Eeyup,” he said. “Better luck next time.” He turned back to Fluttershy, who cowered slightly. Seeing his wife so fearful made Mac's heart ache, and he gently tucked a hoof under her chin and lifted her face up, giving her a gentle smile and kiss on the forehead, wordlessly letting her know that what happened in the past was in the past, and he loved her no matter what Skyblaze had done to her. Fluttershy giggled in relief and got up. Skyblaze could only watch in fury as she kissed Mac on the cheek and then trotted off with him.
“This isn't over, Macintosh of House Apple,” Skyblaze seethed as he dug a hoof into the ground. “This is not over.”