I tried to keep as still as possible, which amounted to swaying my head slightly left and right with the nub of a neck I had left. "You know...I used to have dreams of being in space...oddly enough this is pretty similar." I mumbled, knowing it was a one sided conversation, but it still made me feel better. "...I wonder what my old unit is doing.... I have to imagine I got the craziest story now."
Dust just kept walking, slower, but still just as steady. She was gracious enough to listen to my stories as we wandered through the streets of Canterlot, the hospital lingering in view but still a ways away. Dust was surprisingly more pleasant than I would have thought, her body language kinder, her attitude calmer and her actions far less egregious to others' personal space.
I felt calm around her, even considering I was a debodied head astride a pony. I was living the worst folklore I'd ever read, and yet I wasn't screaming like a mad man or stripping my throat shouting at the world. But I couldn't help but feel a bit self conscious. "...Dust, twice for yes, once for no. Do you like me?" I tapped my fingers on some unseen bed railing as I waited for her to slow down and answer.
Dust shook her body, tapping her hoof on the floor twice. She craned her neck around, the ghost image of a smile somehow present despite her lack of a face. It made me feel warm, despite the disconnect at the neck, something about her unhesitating answer made my body glow and my heart flutter. "...Thank you...." I cooed, looking ahead. "That's really, really- I...I needed that."
Dust tapped her hooves on the cold concrete steps of the hospital. She whipped her tail around, dusting herself off and walking up the steps towards the hospital. It struck me as odd that any hospital would have stairs, but the presence of a large ramp zigzagging along the side made enough sense. What felt even odder, odder than the strange set up of the hospital, the odd way ponies were ignoring a severed human head atop a headless pony, there were simply no ponies, no humans. The supposedly bustling city of Canterlot was hollow.
"Hey Dust what-- wait...never mind." I shook my head, nearly throwing myself off her back. "Does it seem empty to you?"
Dust stepped up to the front doors, tapping her hoof against the wall twice. She looked around, pushing the door open with her plot and turning around once inside. The lobby of the hospital was completely empty aside from a single mare at a counter. We walked slowly through the lobby, the dull white corridors bleeding into a solid mass of white.
Things felt unreal, too clean, too calm. "You must be--" The nurse at the counter went bolt stiff. "Jason? Oh my gosh, is that you!?" A sharp pink mare leaned over the counter. "Uh...I thought they said your name, but I didn't think it'd actually be you."
I looked up at the mare. "Oh...Oh shit, Molly! You made it into the internship!"
Molly smiled wide, "I'm an RN now!"
I smiled at her, "That's great kid! Glad I could help." I felt Dust shift under me, her neck leaning towards me. "Oh...Dust this is Molly, I helped tutor her before I moved to Ponyville."
Molly blushed slightly. "Yeah, tutored...."
I coughed roughly. "Molly...this is Dust...we're dating, or...something...not really sure given the lack of communic--"
Dust slammed her hoof down on the tile floor twice.
"Uh...that means yes.... I guess yeah, we're dating."
Dust slammed her hoof down a few more times, her backside wiggling up and down as she trotted in place. "Uh...I don't think she likes you...." I mumbled, trying to keep from wobbling off her back. "So...where's my body?"
Molly looked around the lobby. "Uh...I'll show you--"
Dust slammed her hoof down, nearly tossing me to the floor. My body jolted, grabbing the sides of the bed and mentally keeping me from falling. "Hey, take it easy!" I shouted as Dust leaned towards the counter. "Dust, what the hell!?"
Dust whirled around, sitting down hard on the ground and reaching back with her forelegs. She grabbed my head, spinning me around and planting me back down facing her backside. She stood up and walked backwards up to the counter, standing there, calm as could be.
"Uh...Jason, what's up?" Molly asked, looking at Dust's backside.
I sighed loudly. "I don't know...I don't think she--" Dust cut me off, kicking her back leg against the counter. "...Anyways...my body?"
Molly's purple tail swished angrily. "Sure...and for the record, headless bitch, we broke up! Don't worry, I'm not trying to steal your little--"
"Molly...is now the time?" I asked, looking towards a set of double doors. "I mean honestly...can I get the rest of me back?"
Molly scrunched up her lips and pushed off the counter. "Fine. Follow me." Molly sauntered towards a set of doors, Dust slowly sorting herself out and walking backwards, sweeping her tail around to make sure she wasn't going to crash into anything. Riding backwards on Dust made me sick, the constant swaying of her hips and the featureless white paint was making my world spin, the walls blur and my stomach turn.
"Whoa god, Dust, Jesus, I can't--" I closed my eyes, focusing instead on the constant clopping four sets of hooves created. "Oh my god...close your eyes and this place turns into hell...horse smelling hell...."
Molly scoffed. "Cause you're sitting downwind of a pony fl-- Ow, what the fuck!?"
I popped my eyes open, finding Molly rubbing her foreleg. "What, what happened!?"
"Bitch just kicked me!" Molly shouted, stepping back into an elevator wall. The sound of the mechanisms in the ceiling broke up the constant shifting of pony hooves. "Seriously bitch, if you're jealous I don't give a shit, you keep kicking me I'll bite your nipples off!"
I sputtered. "Nipples?"
"There's nothing else to bite off on her! Somepony else beat me to it!"
Dust walked into the corner of the elevator, lifting her back leg and getting ready to kick. "Dust, knock it off!" My shout caused Dust to lock up, her hoof snapping back against the ground where it belonged. "Seriously...we broke up like six months ago!"
"Because you tried to make out with my sister you dick!" Molly shouted, backing against the elevator door.
I laughed nervously. "I- ...six drinks...it was Hearthwarming Eve...."
"Excuses!" Molly pressed her flank against the elevator door, stumbling back as it popped open. "Listen Jason, I appreciate the tutoring, the help, but your filly is gonna lose- ...I can't even say lose her teeth! She doesn't have a fucking face!"
"Molly...which room?" I asked, Dust already walking down the hall. "Molly, which room!?"
Molly rubbed her foreleg. "Figure it out, dingus! I'll wait here, dismiss you...."
I looked around the darkened rooms. "How am I- oh...the one with the lights on...." I mumbled, trying to get up from my bed without seeing what I was doing. "Makes sen- Jesus!" I yelped, Dust bolting down the hall backwards, "How the hell-- Bwah!" Her hooves ground into the floor, her body sliding down the dull white halls.
We skidded to a halt before a unassuming white door, the window into it streaming in a bright white light. "...Oh, you're both on the ball and extremely flustered today...." Dust walked up to the door, slowly turning around and pawing at it with her hoof. "...You know, this whole, being backwards, shtick, is getting old really fast."
Dust ignored me, almost tipping me off her backside while fighting with the door. But eventually the door flung open, and I found myself in yet another dull white room, this one beeping with ambient machine and rustling. Dust trotted inside, slowly turning around, revealing my body like some sort of grand prize. Granted it was a bit of a prize to be alive, to be reunited, and to have a damn good sandwich to look forward to, but everything felt a bit strange.
I tried to get out of bed, my body lurching up and grabbing hold of the bed. The spacial idea of being two places at once was screwing me, leaving me to flail like an idiot while I got queasy from the movement. "Come on- come on Jason- come on...." I mumbled, watching my body stumble and fail to sit upright, my brain telling me to roll right, while I needed to go straight. "Oh god this is fucking frustrating!"
I kept at it, eventually pulling myself up and hazily throwing my legs off the side of the bed. "Yeah! Yeah got it!" I shouted, watching my body fumble it's way off the bed. "Come on...come on...there it is!" I shouted, my English coming out as I got excited. "There we go-- Ah fuck!" I felt my feet hit the cold floor, my feet bare, my legs wobbly. My body tipped sideways, slamming me shoulder first into the ground.
"Oh- god that hurt!" I whimpered, Dust slowly backing towards my downed body. I continued to groan as Dust sat down, slowly rolling my head off her back and onto the floor where my neck was. "Not helping!" I shouted, trying to rub my face, touching my chin instead. "...Oh.... God damn it, Dust, you're making me look stupid here!" I grabbed my head, holding me against my neck and finally getting my bearings. I sat upright, my hospital gown fluttering as I did. "There...better."
Dust walked around me, circling my like a shark. She nudged me towards the door, her hooves clicking against the tile floor. "Dust...seriously, cool it." I dug my heels in, pinning my head to my neck with one arm and slowly turning around to face Dust. "What's up? Everything's cool, alright?"
Dust pranced in place, lifting her hooves high before slamming them back down. She looked around nervously, staring at the door each pass from side to side.
"Dust...what's up?" I asked, carefully ducking down and putting a hand on the back of her neck, rustling the small bit of grey mane she had. "Is this about Molly? Because like she said...we're not going to--" Dust cut me off, slamming one hoof into the ground. ".... Okay, so what is it?"
Dust pranced on her hoof tips, nearly poking a hole in the tile as she danced about. She nuzzled my knee, pushing herself up and leaning her neck towards me. She kept herself lined up with me, thrusting her neck towards my face. "...I don't understand...."
Dust stomped my bare foot, thrusting her free leg up towards my face, then back to her neck. "Ow... I still don't understand."
Dust shook slightly, pointing her hoof to my face, then to her neck. She pressed her hoof against her neck hard, grinding it in for a bit before throwing it off and pointing back to my face. "...Uuuuh...I don't- I don't understand!"
Dust pushed off my legs, running to the far end of the room and kicking over a tray. She bolted around the room like mad, knocking things over and sprinting about. I thought back to her strange signals, "If she...but that wouldn't.... Eh...couldn't hurt." I walked over to her, picking my head up off my neck and holding it down to her height. "Like this?"
Dust slowly calmed down, reducing her speed and slowly circling me. She stopped before me, sitting down and thrusting her neck out. I just stood there, holding my head to her level and waiting. "I really don't--" Dust slammed her hoof against the tile, cracking it and thrusting her neck against my face. "Wait...kiss? I- ...there needs to be a better way of communicating...." I mumbled, ducking down and pressing myself against her neck.
I kissed the flat, sawed off bit of her neck, the dull taste of skin and ethereal dust clung to my lips as I pulled back. "There, is that--" Before I could finish Dust started tapping her hooves against the ground like mad. She kicked her back legs up, popping upright and galloping out of the room. She slammed into the wall opposite the doorway we'd walked into and shot down the hall.
I sat there, crouched down, waiting for something to click in my brain and clarify everything. "I have never been so god damn confused...and that fucking sandwich has never been so god damn appealing." I stood up, tugging at my clothes to cover my body. A quick walk out into the hall found Molly standing there, staring at the opposite end of the hall.
"Your mare just...uh, Jason...you're weird."
"I know." I stated, grabbing myself by the hair and hanging myself at the end of my fingers. "Everything's been a little weird since I met her." I listened as the distant clopping petered out, leaving me wondering why she ran away from the elevator. "Hey, Molly, everyone's been acting kinda weird besides all this." I waved my hand at my head and body. "Like...there weren't a lot of ponies in the streets, you're the only one--"
"It's Hearts and Hooves Day." Molly stated, turning towards the elevator. "Everypony is getting ready for the night in Canterlot. Gonna be fun, and hopefully I can still find a date."
I let out a soft huff and planted myself back on my shoulders. "Well...that makes some sense, but I- oh...ooooh, that's why she- god damn I'm really not awake today." I muttered, scratching my head. "Like seriously, I'd never have known if you didn't say anything."
Molly stopped next to the elevator. "...Really?" She asked, pointing at a small piece of paper with a pink heart on it.
I walked over, my feet slapping against the floor. "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, remember to enjoy your day off. ...Hospitals don't have a day off!"
Molly shook her head. She held out a hoof. "Here's the point...." She swooped her hoof over her head. "Woosh, didn't even notice."