//------------------------------// // The Royal Wedding // Story: The Royal Wedding // by Duke of Canterlot //------------------------------// Princess Twilight Sparkle couldn't stop crying tears of joy when her coltfriend, Flash Sentry, had proposed to her. He did it in the most romantic way possible too. This was how the proposal went about. Twilight was in her crystal castle studying magic. She heard a knock at the door and there was Flash. Flash was wearing a tuxedo and had a nervous grin on his face. Twilight found it so adorable and giggled at the sight of Flash's awkward adorkableness. "Did I catch you at a bad time", asked Flash sweetly. "Not at all", responded Twilight, "you're dressed nicely and making me feel rather under-dressed." Flash winked in the sense that he was trying to be subtle but was failing miserably at it. "Ummmm... Twi", said Flash nervously, "ummm uhhhh... the reason why I have come here today is.... well.... uhhhhh... you know that we have been dating for about a year and I was wondering um...." Flash pulled out a tiny case from his tuxedo pocket and opened it up. Inside the case was a ring made of Canterlot gold. "Princess Twilight Sparkle", said Flash with a clear of the throat, "will you marry me?" "Ohhhhhhhhh", responded Twilight with a bright smile, "Iiiiiiiiiiiiii uhhhhhhhhhhh saaaaaay YES!! YES!! YES!!! Oh yes, I love you Flash Sentry more than any other pony in the world!!! Let us get married, omigosh omigosh!! You are sexier than any book!!" Flash and Twilight kissed. Twilight was surprised by the negative reactions of her closest peers, including that of her brother, Shining Armor. "Twily", said Shining, "I'm going to be honest with you. Flash is kind of a creep. Are you sure you want to be marrying him?" "How can you say that? You barely know him!?!?!?!", responded Twilight with shock. "He's been under my command for three years now. Flash is disobedient and incompetent at his job. The only reason why he's still here is because you put some "executive order" with a decree that he can't be fired", said Shining. "Oh, BBBFF", responded Twilight with laughter, "Flash Sentry is best pony. You should have seen how he proposed to me.. it was so lovely." "I'm concerned. However, you're a mare and can make your own decisions. All I'm saying is that Flash is kind of a douche", said Shining. "Flash has quite the sense of humor, BBBF. I'm sure he's just joshing around with you", responded Twilight with a chuckle. "If Flash marries you, he won't have to work as a royal guard anymore, right?", asked Shining. "Ummm... I dunno. I'll have to ask Celestia about it", responded Twilight. "We already talked about it, Twily. She wants Flash to lose his job too", said Shining. "Umm.. yea... I guess he won't be a royal guard anymore", said Twilight. "Sweet, congratulations, Twily!! I am totally going to ask Flash if I can be his best colt", said Shining enthusiastically. "Awww, that's so sweet of you", cooed Twilight, "he doesn't have many friends or any brothers, so that would be perfect." Flash Sentry was the king of the world. He was going to have it all: a princess wife and being able to leave that stupid job of his. Having Shining Asshat as a brother-in-law was a small price to pay. He wasn't planning on marrying Twilight so soon, but she had to do this stupid "no sex until marriage" thing. Jeez.. how stupid was that. More than half of the ponies were having sex with every other pony anyway. Flash hoped the sex wasn't bad, he might have to divorce Twilight if she couldn't perform her wifely duties. Flash would have gone talk with his friends, but he didn't have any friends. He decided to look at himself in the mirror and grin with regards to how awesome he was. Tomorrow, he would finally get to fuck Twilight. It sucked that he had to marry the annoying book-loving cunt.. but hey, she was a princess. Being married to royalty did have its advantages. Flash would be famous and well-loved like his marefriend. The wedding began. Celestia was the wedding officiant. She put on a fake smile. Celestia was disappointed that Twilight's standards were so low that she decided to marry the first douche that slapped her ass. At least divorce was legal under her empire. Celestia would gladly officiate the divorce as well. Flash, Shining Armor, Cadence, and the Mane Five were also at the altar. Shining Armor was the "best colt", Cadence was the "mare of honor", and the Mane Five were the bridesmares. "Always a bridesmare and never a bride", sighed Rarity. "C'mon Rarity", said Rainbow Dash, "there are plenty of hotties here. We can totally get laid tonight, AWESOME!!!" "I see a lot of stallions here.. all way hotter than Flash Sentry", said Pinkie Pie, not thinking before she spoke. "Huh, what was that", said Flash Sentry. "Oh, heh heh, nothing... did I say.. I meant none of them were way hotter than Flash Sentry", responded Pinkie Pie with a smile. "Good. I am marrying your nerd friend today. Twilight Sparkle may be a princess. But when we get married, she will be my slave and forced to follow every single one of my command, particularly.. heh heh.... virgins are quite tight", said Flash with confidence. "Do you want me to knock your teeth out", shouted Rainbow Dash. "Only kidding.. right, Shining Armor?", said Flash with a chuckle. Shining rolled his eyes at the comment. "The ceremony shall begin", said Celestia to the crowd, "first, may I introduce the flower fillies!!" The door opened and there were the Cutie Mark Crusaders: Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. They pranced in with the flowers. Apple Bloom held a flower in her bow but did not throw it. Ponies cooed at how cute they were as the CMC made their way to the altar. "Ah got an flower just for you", whispered Apple Bloom to Flash Sentry. "Hah", laughed Flash softly, "unfortunately, you are not marrying the great Flash Sentry, but I will take your flower." Flash took the flower and ate it. Apple Bloom looked at her two friends and grinned. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nervously smiled back at their crafty friend. "Now may I present the bride", said Celestia, "Princess Twilight Sparkle!!" The music played. Twilight Sparkle walked in with her father, Night Light. It was a beautiful sight: a young princess mare getting married. Privately, many ponies were appalled by Twilight's choice: Flash Sentry. Shining Armor was much more fit for a princess than Flash. However, every pony had to respect Twilight's choice. Well.. almost every pony. As Twilight was walking to the altar with her dad, suddenly there was loud coughing. It was Flash Sentry. He was choking and fell to the ground. "W..w...hat happ...appened..", groaned Flash, "ugghhhhh *cough cough cough*... it waaaas you...the filly with the... *cough cough*." Flash had died. Apple Bloom was pleased that her plan worked out so well. She knew that the poisoned flower would be the perfect weapon to give the vain Flash Sentry. He was a loser and did not deserve to be wed to a princess such as Twilight Sparkle. According to Apple Bloom's sense of justice, the punishment for Flash's crime was death. "Certainly not fit to be one of the living", said Apple Bloom who then spat on Flash's dead body. Flash certainly was hated.. any pony else and the royal guards would have locked Apple Bloom up in the dungeon, but this was Flash Sentry - the most incompetent guard, the fakest coltfriend, and the world's most hated waifu stealer. Twilight's cries of sorrow were drowned out by the cheers from the crowd upon the death of Flash Sentry - including that of Celestia who couldn't hide her happiness despite the obvious distress of her star student. Apple Bloom shrugged. Twilight will get over that creep. Apple Bloom brought justice to Equestria.